Chapter 46
Misha, Nasien, and Izar, born in thus order in the span of minutes.
Sons of Andromeda (Archivist of Angels) and Naasir (of Raphael’s Seven). Naasir, who is an enigma unknown to the world, and Andromeda, angel, have created three joyful gifts who are themselves enigmas whose future cannot be predicted by any known measure.
—The Naming Book (Archives of the Angelic Library, Refuge)
Well aware that Hannah, Elijah, and their new child would need time alone together, neither Raphael nor Elena made any attempt to visit even after Eli confirmed the birthing had gone smoothly and that both mother and babe were doing well.
It wasn’t until several days later that Hannah sent a message saying she’d love for Elena to come and meet their daughter.
“I will see the babe later,” Raphael said when Elena realized the invitation was for her alone. “Eli is no doubt feeling territorial at present.” A kiss to her temple. “I will be exactly the same beyond my innermost circle.”
Elena hugged him. “Does Elijah have a friend like Dmitri?”
“Yes. He was a first general once,” he reminded her. “While he isn’t like your Bluebell in the way he makes friendships wherever he goes—Eli is more reserved—they are the same in that their friendships last. Eli is not alone at this time.”
She released the hug…and felt her heart melt as Raphael bent to kiss her belly—which was currently covered in a flowing ice-blue gown of an airy material lined with thermal layers to keep her warm.
It wasn’t her normal style, but when Montgomery and Sivya had gifted it to her in a trunk full of other maternity and post-maternity clothing, she’d realized it was both comfortable and simple to get on and off.
She wove her fingers through Raphael’s hair as he spoke to their child, his voice a deep rumble that was home to her. When he rose back up, she said, “You are going to be such an amazing papa.”
He looked incredibly young and vulnerable as he pressed his forehead to hers. “Because of you,” he murmured. “I’m a far better man because of you.”
“That goes both ways, Archangel.”
* * *
The Refuge was blanketed in snow, a wonderland of soft white that hushed the world as the sun kissed it with a soft golden glow.
“Beautiful.” She drew deep of the cold air before tugging up the hood of the cape Raphael had wrapped around her before she’d left.
No one else walked on her route to the Medica this morning, though she did catch one cheeky little face at the window of a nearby home.
When a small girl waved at her, she waved back, caught in the flows of memory.
Sam had waved that way at her more than once—she still couldn’t believe he was full grown and part of her Guard, exactly as he’d told her he’d one day become.
She was halfway to her destination when someone landed in front of her, far enough out that his sudden appearance wouldn’t startle her—because his wings made no sound.
No angelic susurration. Perfect feline stealth if not for the members of the Legion scattered all along this route, gargoyles in the shadows of the buildings.
Elena smiled. “Good morning, Izar.”
“Where are you going?” He looked curiously at the gift bag in her gloved hand. “Lady Hannah isn’t open to visitors.”
“I have a special invitation.” She tucked her arm through his. He was warm and bright against her senses, a creature wild under the skin. “Are you awake early or up late?”
A grin that was a delighted baring of teeth. “I was roaming the mountains. Papa and Mama will be home soon—Papa has asked me to tell you that he is arranging a most perfect gift for your cub.”
Elena didn’t know whether to groan or laugh. Naasir’s gifts were always as extraordinary and as unusual as the man himself. “Any clues?”
He shook his head. “He likes keeping secrets,” he muttered, as if he wasn’t exactly the same. “But they’re bringing me and my brothers gifts, too.”
That was another thing Elena loved about Naasir’s pack—unlike many angelic families, they’d remained tight-knit throughout the centuries and would no doubt stay that way through time.
Naasir and Andromeda’s boys continued to fly back to see their parents, or to meet up with them at various locations around the world.
Not out of obligation but because they liked their parents and enjoyed being with them.
“Tell me something,” she said to Izar. “How did Naasir and Andi make it so that you remain so close as a family?” She wanted that for her own family, was secretly terrified that she had no idea how to create it—not when she’d spent so many years estranged from her father and half sisters.
Even her relationship with Beth had hit rough spots during that awful time.
Izar gave her an intrinsically feline look. “It’s like your Guard. They’re your family, too, aren’t they? You know how to build a family.”
“Yes, but it’s different with a child.” She wondered if he would even understand—he was still so young in relative terms. “Children want to push against their parents, want to rebel. My Guard chose to be with me—my child will only get that choice as an adult.”
Izar nodded, his expression solemn as he thought. “I think I understand—and I have the answer.”
“You do?”
“I wanted a wild tiger cub once, to keep as a pet,” he told her, as if it was the most normal thing in the world. “I didn’t understand then that it would be wrong, and I didn’t understand how much it would hurt my father if I did anything of the sort.” The words held a poignant depth of emotion.
“It was Mama who made me understand without making me feel bad—I was only a cub after all. She said to me that if I put a wild tiger in a cage, it wouldn’t be mine. Not truly. What I would have was a different being—one with a broken spirit, and she knew I did not wish to break my friend’s spirit.”
Elena had always liked Andromeda, but was used to thinking of her as the young librarian she’d first met—even after the other woman had raised three strapping men. Izar’s words showed her how Andi’s sons saw her—as wise and kind.
“She was right,” Izar continued. “I didn’t wish to hurt the cub I so admired. Instead of trying to cage him, I began to learn how he lived, so that I could be with him in the wild. Now, his descendants join me for runs in the mountains.”
“Don’t cage my cub, and they’ll choose to come back to me?” Elena said, and it sounded so simple when it would be the hardest thing she’d ever done to not wrap her child in cotton wool.
The irony of it didn’t escape her, either—some of the biggest fights she’d had with Raphael early on in their relationship had been about her need for independence.
“Unless,” Izar added, “your cub keeps trying to fly off the balcony when they don’t have strong enough wings, or to climb up to the roof to get away from their irate mother. Then you can put the cub behind a baby cage and have a cup of tea while discussing why they are incarcerated.”
Elena laughed at this glimpse into Andromeda’s years as a young mother. “Where was your father in all this?” She’d witnessed Naasir get all three in line with a single growl.
“That was when he was away for a month—and it was the first time we’d tried our mother so.” Izar grinned. “She threatened to put us on leashes and tug us along behind her if we didn’t behave. We were so horrified at the ignominy of it that we did behave…at least for the day.”
Throwing back her head, Elena laughed. “Poor Andi.”
Izar grinned. “She loves us.”
Elena wanted nothing more than for her and Raphael’s baby to be so certain and confident of their love, too.
Right then, an internal Refuge courier—a young woman only eighty-one years of age—landed a polite distance away from them.
“Consort.” The youth with her blond braids, brown tunic, and darker pants bent in a respectful bow.
“You received a message from the Tower that the sire thought you would like to see.”
“Thank you, Samara.” She smiled at the girl she’d known since she was a toddler. “How are you liking this duty?”
A quick, shy smile. “It’s my favorite. Much more fun than kitchen chores.”
“I can’t say I blame you.” Elena excused Samara with a grin.
Izar, of course, peered shamelessly at the missive as she unfolded it. “Who is Greta?”
“My friend—and Dmitri’s right hand. You know her. Red hair, green eyes.”
“Oh yes, she likes me and my brothers.”
Not surprising—Greta liked cats, after all. Back home, she even condescended to use a set of fun stationery that Elena had bought her—elegant, each page featuring a line drawing of a cat in one corner.
This paper was the standard one they used at the stronghold’s communications center. The message read: Elena—call me. Or I shall have to traipse up to that infernally ice-draped region, ruining my shoes in the process.
“Greta is not polite.” Izar sounded like he approved.
“In Greta-speak, this is high emotion.” Slipping the message into a pocket of her dress, she continued to walk on with Izar through the snow-draped beauty of the Refuge. When she saw several of the Legion dive into the gorge in the distance, she raised an eyebrow. “Did you teach them that?”
Izar tried to look innocent, failed miserably. “Gorge diving is good exercise,” he said, prim as Elena’s elementary school principal.
Laughing, she pulled down his face and kissed him on both cheeks. “Go, join in. I know you want to.”
But he stubbornly walked her all the way to the Medica before taking off to join his new friends.
“Elena.” Keir, who’d been soaking in the morning sunshine, held out his hands, the golden brown of his wings lovely against the sun-brushed facade of the Medica. “Hannah told me she’d asked you to visit.”
His hands were warm in a way that wasn’t “normal” but that told her he was using his powers as a healer.
Slender as a youth and shorter than her by a number of inches, with lush lips, delicate features, and uptilted eyes that made him pretty rather than imposing, Keir nonetheless hummed with a sense of presence that went far beyond his inborn abilities.
There was a reason the entire Cadre trusted Keir.
“How is our baby?” she asked.
“Less energetic, but that’s only because they have less space now.” He released her hands, then lowered his eyebrows in a dark vee as the sun gleamed off the black silk of his hair. “Knowing you and Raphael, the child is apt to come out flying.”
“Hah!”
“Come, I’ll walk you to Hannah.”
The hallways were quiet, the Medica relatively empty just then.
Elena had the time to admire the intricate carvings in the translucent marble on one side, aglow from being backlit by the sun, while below them ran an active underground stream—the Medica had been rebuilt with clear tiles in certain areas, simply to allow that peaceful view.
As they walked, she and Keir talked of life, their friendship a thousand years old at this point. “Do you remember my cherished friend, Iosephina?” he said. “She has settled with a warrior in Michaela’s territory. I’ve never seen her so content.”
Iosephina had been Keir’s lover for over a decade until they parted ways half a century earlier. Yet Elena spotted no jealousy in Keir’s expression, heard nothing but happiness for Iosephina in his voice. “Can I ask you a personal question, Keir?”
A slow smile. “You do not understand the ways of my heart.”
She raised her shoulders to her ears. “Mea culpa. You’re so good and kind and beautiful—and you have such a loving presence.
But unless I’m totally off base, you don’t seem to want forever.
” No, he seemed content with sharing pleasure, sharing lives—and just as content after his lovers flew away to other lives.
Keir took his time answering. “I’m a healer first. I’ll always be a healer first. The only love that has ever stood in front of my calling is my love for Gavriel, the son of my heart.”
His smile lit up his whole being. “Any other love, precious though it might be, will ever stand behind my need to heal, and I do not want that for a person generous enough to share themselves with me. Such would be an unkindness.”
He clasped his hands behind his back. “To settle your heart, Ellie, know that I feel no sense of loss at my choice. I experience joy when I share love with the beautiful spirits who wish to be with me, and I experience joy when I see them find their forever. My forever lies within—the Medica is a physical representation of it.”
Elena understood the complexities of immortality far better than she once had, took time to think through his answer. “Did you always feel called to heal?”
“Since I was a very young child.”
Elena nodded slowly. “You’re content in a way that’s more than happiness.” Keir radiated peace. “If I didn’t know about your lovers, I’d compare you to a monk who’d meditated his way to total serenity.”
Keir’s voice was contemplative when he answered.
“Perhaps one day I will be thus. Already, I begin to feel less of a need to share intimate touch, and yet paradoxically I feel a sense of connection to every being in this world—but we will need to finish this conversation at another time. Here is Hannah’s room. ”
It proved to be right at the end. Elena knew that the birthing—and recovery—chamber boasted an entire wall that looked out into the craggy beauty of the Refuge.
Keir gave a small knock. “Elijah has gone to their stronghold to deal with a piece of urgent business there, so it will be just the two of you and the babe.”
With that, he opened the door.