CAMERON #3
The aggressive expression combined with the sudden move he made toward me had my body reacting before I knew what I was doing.
My palms pressed his bare chest a moment before he collided with me and I pushed him back against the locker.
“Calm the fuck down,” I hissed, pinning him against the locker.
His angry look melted into a surprised one as I pressed the length of my forearm across his chest and held him in place.
“I’m trying to tell you that this is just as hard for me as it is for you, asshole.
If I had any other option but picking at these wounds, I would gladly be someplace else.
But I don’t.” To emphasize, I added pressure on his chest in jerky moves just as I snapped the words at him.
“Do you think I’m enjoying this? That I like taunting you with my presence?
Today was good, Riley. It was fucking good.
Can we just take one good day and not fucking ruin it? Just for the fun of it?”
He was calm, if surprised, when he lifted his arm and wrapped a hand around my wrist. “Is this what you call a good day?”
I stepped back, pulling my arm off his chest, but his hand remained firmly in place. “Sorry,” I huffed.
“It’s too late to be sorry, Cam,” he said and gazed at me.
What did that even mean? Was he talking about this or about the way I’d walked away from him? These thoughts swirled through my head for one endless moment until I realized that his hand was still wrapped around my wrist. We were still touching.
My heart picked up the pace and I licked my lips while Riley’s chest rose and fell with each breath. The thundering heartbeats flooded my ears soon and I realized that I could see Riley’s pulse on his neck. And though he was still glaring at me, his expression was softening.
Riley wasn’t releasing me even though he wasn’t gripping me as tightly.
His gaze dropped to my torso and returned to my eyes.
He waited. He expected me to…do something.
And every shred of my being was tearing itself apart because this was a dangerous crossroad.
Oh, I’d found myself here many times in my fantasies.
I’d imagined this very thing more times than I cared to admit.
But I hadn’t expected to ever truly have a chance to make this choice.
It was like sirens were going off inside my head.
And the couple of inches of space I crossed in the next moment felt like I was traversing galaxies.
I felt like I was leaning in, but I wondered if there was any change in our physical distance.
The only thing I was sure of was that Riley wasn’t pulling away.
He held onto me and his cheeks were turning a darker shade of pink.
It had always been easy to make him blush.
I held my breath and gently closed my eyes as the world around me tilted to one side. Was this really happening? Fright and thrill spread through me in equal measure as I felt myself leaning into it.
Perhaps the heightened senses made it a million times worse, but when the heavy door of the locker room banged on its opening, I jumped a step back and my eyes shot open. Riley, just as frightened, looked away, his cheeks blooming with redness.
Coach Murray hurried in. “There you are,” he said with audible relief before examining the scene.
Frustration spread through me like wildfire. I clenched my fists and swallowed the scream that welled in me. “Coach,” I said in an airy, frail voice.
Riley was too stunned to speak. He glanced at me, then quickly pulled his gaze away, turning to his locker and pretending to be busy.
“I was looking for you,” Coach Murray explained. “I’m sorry about the…” He waved his hands and left the rest unsaid, then nodded. “How were the drills?”
“Good,” I said for both of us. “You were right.” I was rambling. “That’s just what we needed.”
Coach Murray was nodding, pleased but distracted.
“I’ll lock up when you boys are finished.
And let’s do this again on Tuesday. Seven pm?
Yes, let’s do that. I’ll coach you myself.
” Riley murmured a question about Heller’s wife and Coach Murray nodded in earnest. “She’s in the hospital. Brent’s there. Still waiting.”
Coach left us to it like he’d said but I wished I could somehow grab his sleeve and keep him here.
When the door shut behind him, the awkward silence filled the locker room and my skull evenly.
I stepped to my locker and began digging through my stuff until I found clean underwear.
There was no way in hell I was taking this towel off with Riley next to me. Not after we’d almost kissed.
But it seemed like Riley was having the same thoughts because he bent down and stepped into his underwear with the towel still around his waist.
I did the same thing, then finished dressing in silence. As we left the rink, Riley muttered: “See you.”
I didn’t get to say it back because he took the opposite turn of where we would normally go to get to the team house. He disappeared in the golden rays of the morning sun and I remained outside the rink, wallowing in mixed feelings and an unbearable amount of frustration.