GRAYSON #2
He did. Instantly, his lips were on mine, and his heated kiss was made so much more special because he didn’t bat an eyelash. He gave it all to me. The way he held me when he kissed me lent me the sense of stability I never knew I needed.
The years of growing up in the closet, envying the boys and girls who almost flaunted their freedom and ability to steal kisses, didn’t scream at me now.
What else were we doing if not precisely that?
We gave one another the things we hadn’t had.
Avery needed the space to allow his trust to grow.
I needed someone who would fulfill the fantasies of the boy I had once been.
All the adult things we’d done countless times with other people could wait.
I kissed him hard as the attraction between us blossomed. And when the blazing kiss made me sway on my feet, Avery’s stability kept me standing. We parted with boyish smiles painting our faces. “That’s one way to say ‘hello.’”
Avery nodded in agreement. “What are you doing here?” he asked after a moment.
“Oh, you know, running errands,” I said as we stood side by side and I poked him in the ribs with my elbow. “Stalking you, basically.”
“Stalk all you like,” he said, moving a few steps forward.
“I was wondering if I could steal you away for an hour or two,” I admitted. “Somewhere that isn’t brimming with Titans.” The clarification was necessary. “I know how testosterone runs high after practice. I don’t want to tempt them.”
Avery pulled on a wolfish smile. “They were nice last Friday,” he pointed out.
“And that’s why I don’t want to push my luck.” I dared slide my arm around his waist. He didn’t need a lot of nudging. He leaned into me as we matched our pace and moved along. His arm pressed against the side of my torso and he didn’t pull away.
“What do you have in mind?” he asked.
I shrugged. “There’s a taproom just off campus.”
Avery thought about it for just a heartbeat. “I can do one round. We’re playing against the Icehawks tomorrow night.”
“And I’m wearing a Titans jersey in support,” I joked.
Avery met my gaze. “You better.”
We shared a laugh and turned left at an intersection so we wouldn’t pass by the tavern they had at the heart of their campus.
We walked a little faster and found the taproom more empty than full when we got there.
It was warm and dark inside. Neon signs for craft beers gave some colorful light from the walls and the discreetly placed lamps filled the rest. I got us a round of drinks and we found a secluded corner to sit in.
I watched him as he got comfortable and I pulled back the mental picture of the photo he had sent last Friday.
The blissful, beautiful photo of his shirtless torso.
I recalled the tattoos that decorated his collarbones and his shoulder.
I recalled the firmness of his pecs both in the picture and under my hand with his shirt in the way.
I was glad we weren’t rushing, even as I wanted our limbs tangled in bed and our bodies exhausted with pleasure.
“Boys and girls, huh? How was it figuring that out?” I asked.
Avery gave an innocent shrug. “It was never really important. My folks…” He pressed his lips together, shot me a look of compassion, and, at my smile, continued.
“They’re cool. Really cool. My uncle on Dad’s side has a husband and three kids.
Dad’s always been very protective of him, especially after my uncle introduced my parents to each other. ”
My eyes grew wide with wonder. It was a dream life.
Avery’s eyes caught the neon light of the sign for a local brew.
They sparkled. I was completely absorbed as he went on.
“They were open-minded since I could remember. I always knew about the spectrum. When I was old enough to read, they got me books with all sorts of diverse characters instead of showing me those heteronormative children’s movies.
” He cracked the tiniest of smiles at that.
“It’s never been a huge part of my personality, you know? It never changed anything.”
A benign sort of envy flickered through me.
I was happy for Avery, but at the same time, I felt a loss for myself.
That could never be me. And I told him so.
“They know only because I was a stupid little dreamer,” I said.
“I thought they’d gotten all the clues and were just waiting happily for me to tell them.
” I didn’t want to remember that night. It was a fever dream in my memory.
“I can still hear the silence that filled the room when I realized they weren’t going to wheel in a coming-out cake for me.
” I laughed, but it fooled no one. Cold anger washed over Avery’s face as I fidgeted and gave an over-the-top shrug.
“We don’t talk much. They’re glad I’m away.
They fund my lifestyle and I’m not shy about milking it.
” I felt no guilt at all about that. Not about the limo, not about the houseboat.
It felt appropriate that I should spend their money on a date.
“They don’t call and I don’t visit. Mom’s torn, I think, but Dad isn’t, so she keeps the tap running for me, but she still won’t do more than a phone call on special occasions.
And she never asks about my dating life.
Or anything, really.” I didn’t realize it, but my voice had turned darker and dryer as I spoke.
I washed down the bitterness of those words with my wheat ale.
“I’m sorry,” Avery said.
“Ah. Don’t be. It’s better that way.” I shook my head dismissively. “I’m free.”
“You are,” Avery said seriously. “You are free.”
We shared silence for a time. “How do you like that?” I asked, pointing at his beer.
“It’s alright. I’m not crazy about craft beers,” he said and pushed it across the table. “Try it.”
It was a small, simple thing, but it made me happier than I could fathom.
I took his beer and drank. Foam painted a mustache above my upper lip as I savored the taste of the beer.
It was bitter and rich with hop. It was excellent.
“You don’t know what’s good,” I teased, but my words stopped abruptly when his hand closed around my chin and he wiped the foam away from my lip.
Avery picked up a napkin for his fingers as if this had meant nothing, but my heart hammered. It was the sweetest, most casual gesture of intimacy I’d ever been awarded. And when his phone buzzed with Sawyer’s name lighting up the screen, I recalled myself back to Earth.
Avery gave me a soft smile and picked up.
I couldn’t hear Sawyer’s words, but I put the pieces together from Avery’s answer.
“No, yeah, I found them.” His gaze locked onto my face.
“They say they plan to put up a fight before getting their ass kicked.” And something like pure joy moved over his face.
“Will do, buddy. Have fun.” He hung up. “Sawyer says hi. Sort of.”
“Which probably means he made a vague threat about my ass in two weeks,” I said.
Avery bit his lower lip. If it was any indication, I was guessing he enjoyed himself immensely.
We chatted about this and that and I told him again how much that night with him had meant to me.
I told him, without hesitation, that it had been the best date of my life.
I had decided to compensate for the fact that a dare had brought us together with abundant honesty.
It didn’t make me look pathetic if I admitted that the weeks of chasing him had been the most fun I could remember.
Neither of us was touching our beers, I realized. Neither wanted the night to end just yet.
So we stayed. I lost myself in the stories of Avery’s childhood and the support he enjoyed at home.
I told him what a contrast it was to my upbringing, which had always been rigid and religion-oriented.
And we concluded that we made a good pair.
That was the word we used. A pair. ‘Couple’ seemed too serious, although it teetered on the edge of my tongue.
Too soon, I told myself. And I was happy with being a pair with him, however silly that sounded.
Whatever this thing was, I knew for certain that I wanted more of it.
And that was the thought I carried with me after the lights went out and we had to leave.
The parting kiss scorched me like no other had before.
And the longing that opened in my chest once Avery and I went in opposite directions told me there was more to this dating thing than I had expected.