9. Nate #3
I hurried to take away his chance. “I also know that I’ve been sold to generations of people as something everyone wanted, Carter.
” My voice was regretful, even after I tried to make it firm.
“Countless girls were infatuated with me over the years. Just check my inboxes and you’ll see for yourself.
They saw this popular, beloved athlete who cracked jokes at press conferences and acted like he had his shit together.
But that was what we wanted to show to the world. It’s not real.”
Carter sighed audibly enough to make me stumble over my words. “Are you done?”
“As a matter of fact, no,” I said, annoyed that he was so dismissive.
I should have controlled myself a little better than that because the words that followed were far less diplomatic.
“I don’t want to use you just because you find that guy from the magazine covers attractive, Carter.
I’m not him. I’m a fucked-up man with more regrets than he can count.
And I don’t plan to add you to that pile. ”
Silence.
Carter frowned at me like I’d said something terrible. I didn’t want to give him up, but I wouldn’t drag him by the nose on account of my old, neatly curated glory. If he wanted me, he would have to have the whole messy package.
Finally, Carter set his glass on the coffee table and cocked his head in a judgmental way. “You’re doing it again,” he said without bothering to keep the accusation out of his voice. “You’re acting like I’m some stupid kid who doesn’t know how these things work.”
I opened my mouth to disagree.
“Let me talk now,” he said, and I snapped my mouth shut.
“Did you forget where I grew up, Nate? You spent a lot of time at my dad’s place.
You have to remember the vultures waiting outside his gates to snap any photo of him that they can to unravel the mystery that Dana Prince used to be.
I’m not blind. I know what fame is like, and I know who you are.
Not the sexiest man of the year, nor the winger, Nate Partridge.
But Nathan. The poor kid, the upstart, the one who got lucky to strike a friendship with my dad that opened all those doors early on.
Do you think I don’t remember you crediting my dad with all your success? I know you.”
Even if he gave me a chance to speak now, he had left me speechless.
“I know that you’re shy, actually, and that you’re humble.
I know how much you doubt yourself. And I absolutely know the ugly side of fame.
So, no, Nate. I’m not blinded by the inflated brand image.
And screw you for thinking that I am.” He paused for only a heartbeat for this jab to land.
It punched me in the stomach, almost kicking all the air out of me.
“I like you. I like the way you look, the way you smell, and the way you stand up for me, even when you think you’re just doing the right thing and that it doesn’t mean anything.
I think you’re the hottest guy ever, and not because I have some wrinkled old magazine cover to look at.
” He blinked faster, his cheeks heating up.
“If you really think I’m so empty-headed that I fell for the things your agents wanted everyone to see, then you don’t know the first thing about me, and you don’t remember who my dad is.
Did you forget how sweet he was to every journalist when there were cameras around?
How friendly he was to all his fans? And how he yelled at me for putting the rollerblades on before I tried the skates? ”
My heart sank so low that it was beating from my stomach.
“You haven’t seen him shout at me for playing the guitar after practice because it wasted my energy, and I should be watching hockey to study what professionals did.
” He said those words before his breath hitched, and he looked away, blinking furiously.
“I want to be with you,” he whispered hurriedly.
Then I noticed he was trying to blink the tears away.
He swiped at his eyes angrily and turned his head even further away from me, his chest rising and falling quickly until he abruptly stopped breathing.
“Fuck, Carter,” I whispered. “You’re right. You’re right about everything. I apologize.”
His jaw stiffened, chest still not moving.
“I underestimated you,” I admitted. “I’m sorry. I should have realized that you, of all people, were immune to fame.” Of course he was. Maybe not completely and maybe not to all kinds of fame, but a hockey star was unlikely to seduce him after he’d witnessed the two sides of his father.
His lower lip quivered for a moment before he forced his head back, and his gaze met mine. “Yes?” he whispered fearfully.
“Yes,” I said, finding his tight fist on the sofa between us. I wrapped my hand gently around it until he relaxed his hand. His fingers threaded through mine. “Okay, yes.”
“Really?” His pupils dilated, tears vanishing from his big, warm eyes.
“We can be together, Carter,” I said. Somewhere in the depths of my heart, I knew I was signing my own execution warrant, but it didn’t matter.
I wanted this guy. He was the most refreshing, invigorating addition to my life that I could remember.
He was the perfect companion, the ideal partner, and the most attractive person I’d ever met.
He was beautiful in every way. “If you truly want me, I’m all yours. ”
He visibly fought the incredible smile that stretched his lips. “Drop the ‘if,’ Nate, or I’ll make you regret you ever met me.”
A laugh burst out of me, and I felt like a boy on the verge of falling in love.
I leaped forward, slamming my mouth against his, feeling like I was twenty years younger.
Hope filled me as I kissed Carter. For one glimmering moment, he was all I knew.
Nothing else mattered as much as making this young man as happy as I could.
In doing that, I was making my heart whole.
I was discovering the purpose I’d thought I had lost. The sad truth was I had never had a purpose.
I had only had a career. But the true happiness that came with kissing someone so passionately had always been a mystery to me. Until him.
I kissed him and pushed him so far back that he sprawled on the sofa, and I lay on top of him, our bodies coiling and our souls colliding.
Carter’s hands traveled all over my back, and the heat of the moment carried us into the realm of all the irresistible possibilities.
We let our passion run wild. I pleasured him with my mouth carefully until our naked bodies were covered in sweat and our hearts were beating twice the normal speed.
We reveled in the mess of lust, holding on to one another as our heartbeats slowed down and our lungs filled with air.
He nestled his head in the fold of my arm, the side of his face pressed against my chest. “I hear your heart,” he whispered.
I kissed the top of his head for a long time.
After, he looked up at me with a drowsy expression that carried a spark of mischief. “One of these nights, you’ll have to do more to me than that.”
I laughed softly. “Hush, baby. There’s time for everything.
” I wasn’t in any hurry to fuck him. And Carter would have to be patient.
I wanted to experience much more of him before I claimed his body so completely.
I wanted to make him feel special, not just in the hours of lovemaking.
I wanted us to wait. I wanted us to know so much more about each other before merging our bodies like that.
For a man who had spent months moping about the way his life had ended, it was a relief to feel like there was time for everything. I didn’t lie to him. In my heart, there was only hope. The days could only bring more of the good things.
After all this time, I felt like I had been climbing an endless staircase to something larger than I could have imagined. And I was here at long last. The doorstep I finally found was clearly only just the start of my life, not the end.
Carter moved away from me and sat up. Naked and beautiful, he sat with his back turned to me.
I pressed my fingers against the top of his spine, dragging my hand down and feeling his body’s rhythm.
And when my hand found his hip, he looked at me over his shoulder.
His head tilted briefly in the direction of the far window and the concert piano stationed there and closed against the dust. “May I?”
I cleared my throat to stifle a laugh. “That’s why I brought you here, right?”
Carter laughed out loud. “Yes, of course. That’s why I’m here.
” He leaned down and pressed his lips against mine for a long moment, letting us both savor the beauty of it.
When he moved away from me, he stood up and strolled across the large living room wearing nothing but a happy smile on his face.
He sat down on the piano stool, lifted the lid off the pristine keys, ran his fingers softly and silently over them, thought for a moment, and then shredded my heart with the beauty of his music.