Chapter 10 Bruno
brUNO
Clarice was a breath of fresh air after Veronica’s sandstorm presence.
Bruno didn’t need instinct to tell him that Veronica was a master of flattery and deception.
He didn’t even need second-hand experience with her machinations from Cherry and some of the Tiny Paws parents.
Everything he needed to know was in the way she treated Bruno with gushing flirtation and Clarice with absolute disregard until it was in her best interests to flatter.
Bruno had seen the expression on Clarice’s face plenty of times.
She craved the praise, but didn’t really believe it.
His armadillo was outraged. She should be cherished!
Clarice drove conservatively, using plenty of extra time for braking and signaling her turns well in advance.
There was a berm of packed snow in the driveway of the address and Clarice pulled up along the curb while Bruno took his truck right over it to park in front of the garage.
“Sorry,” she said, wading through the snow to meet him at the front door. “We have a service that clears the driveway, but apparently, they haven’t been by since they plowed the street.”
“Isn’t the city supposed to make sure that doesn’t happen?”
“Lots of people are supposed to do things that they don’t,” Clarice pointed out. She said it with a cheerful shrug and unlocked the door.
Bruno had to keep reminding himself that he was there to look at the house.
Clarice came alive as she showed it, pointing out a number of details he never would have thought of.
“The kitchen has so much storage,” she said.
“I love that it’s all behind doors so you’ll never see the clutter.
Plenty of counter space, too, in case you like to cook. Do you?”
“Like to cook?” Bruno had been opening some of the pantry doors. They were floor to ceiling along an entire wall and the doors themselves had hooks and shelves. “I guess. Okay, not really.”
“I love to cook, but hardly ever get the chance. It’s just me. And my cat. His name is Horatio. Sorry, I don’t mean to be the person who starts out by talking about their cat. He’s not even that nice of a cat. Let me show you the bedrooms.” She flushed. “Ah, they’re upstairs. The bedrooms are.”
Bruno followed her up the stairs, which were covered in carpet. Gil would have entirely too much fun sliding down those, and he was too old now to hope that a baby gate would keep him off of them.
The master bedroom, echoing and empty, had a generous closet. Either of the other rooms would have made a perfectly fine bedroom for Gil or an office. Both of them were small, but Bruno knew that with more space, Gil would just fill it up with mess. There was room for a bed and a desk.
They ventured out the back door to look out over the fenced back yard, but it was full of calf-deep snow, so they didn’t tour the rest of the yard.
“It’s hard to picture in the winter,” Clarice said, looking out over the snow.
“It’s just snowy lawn right now, but there’s space for a garden, if you wanted, or maybe a swing set.
” There were a few trees that looked entirely too tempting for Gil to climb.
“It looks like the back fence might need a new gate. You could definitely negotiate that with the seller.” The existing gate was listing on one hinge.
Bruno let Clarice do the talking, and she managed a stream of information that Bruno found fascinating.
“It’s got an oil furnace with a water tank, which is going to save you a lot of money on hot water.
My place has an electric heater, and too many hot showers run up the meter a lot.
You’d want to replace those windows, probably, with something more thermally efficient.
That’s the sort of point you can negotiate with the seller if they won’t budge on the price.
This is definitely the original paneling from when it was built.
A coat of paint would fix a lot of ills!
If this was my house, I’d probably expand the bathroom into the laundry room.
They’re just too tiny separated like that, and if everything was in one room you could put your towels in the dryer when you took a shower!
It’s maybe not Martha Stewart’s method, but I like practical layouts. ”
Bruno didn’t get the feeling that her cheer was a front for a sales pitch.
She was enjoying herself. She was genuinely excited to show him the house and point out the features, and not shy about calling out potential flaws or expenses.
She was also extremely knowledgeable, and every time Bruno asked a question about construction or layout, she had a ready answer, and often even a remodel estimate.
“Don’t believe a contractor when they tell you they can do it for less than that.
They get into these old walls and they are going to find that the plumbing has to be stripped back to the fixtures to get it up to code.
They won’t even be able to put it back the way they found it. ”
“Does that mean the plumbing is failing?” Bruno wanted to know.
“Not even a little. Those old systems were built to last, they just aren’t up to code, which is a very different thing.
Once you expose them, you have to redo them.
The bank cares about process and following the letter of the law, not whether it works or not, and while they technically own the house with the mortgage, they call the shots. ”
When they had circled back around to the front door again, Clarice paused with her clipboard. “What’s your impression? Is this your dream home?”
Bruno turned to look at the empty rooms. It was hard to picture the spaces with furniture. “I like it,” he said honestly. “But I’m not sure it is.”
“Absolutely fine,” Clarice said, with a sunny smile. “Let’s take a look at the next one and see how it suits. If you’ve only just started house hunting, there’s no reason to snap up good enough when just right might be around the corner!”
Bruno followed her to the second house, a ranch-style home with a two-car garage.
It was a more modern house, and Bruno liked the space inside a great deal more, but the yard was much, much smaller.
“You get that with single-story houses,” Clarice agreed, when he made the observation out loud.
“They need a bigger footprint. Sometimes, they’ll span two lots, or be on a bigger plot, but this neighborhood was already pretty built up when this one went in. ”
“It’s like a game show,” Clarice said, as they returned to the front door. “Is! This! The! House?! Let me put you in a spotlight while you make life-altering decisions!”
Bruno grinned with her. “Well, Bob,” he said, going along with her joking, “I like this house. Lots of potential. Great bathrooms. New appliances that are part of the price! But it’s close to neighbors, and I don’t need to pay for a two-car garage. I say, no go!”
Clarice made a blat noise. “We have a loser! But don’t give up hope, contestant Bruno!
Let’s see what’s behind curtain number three!
” She held up another key. “We just have time for a bonus round, if you will follow me a block over. It’s a two-bedroom hidden gem.
Will it be the house of your dreams? Join us after this brief commercial break to drive there! ”