3. Clem May 12, 1885
Dearest Mother,
Father has told me. I cannot believe it.
But he says he has seen you. More than two years ago, when he was called to Commonwealth University to administer a language exam.
He said you were there, and that you saw each other from a distance.
He said this like it was a fate worse than death.
I don’t understand. It is better—infinitely better.
I said that and Father flew into a rage, so that I hardly recognized him.
He said, “You think it is better for your mother’s spirit to be deprived of rest, chained to another man’s will for eternity? ”
Of course not. What I think is that if you are here, there is hope.
Finally he said to me, still furious, “Don’t you think I’ve tried, Clem?
” And he described everything he has done since then.
Not everything, I think. Some of it. He told me pieces, enough to see how the effort has consumed him, and how time and again he meets with failure.
I couldn’t understand all of what he explained, how the failure occurs, but he kept saying to me, “I have no case, I have no case.” And so I understood that it is all with lawyers, Mother.
That is why he has spent so many hours with them.
I feel foolish for imagining you in the realm, peacefully watching over us.
Instead you’ve been—what? What foul magic does he make you do?
Is he a very terrible man? Is he vicious?
He must be cruel if you cannot escape for even a moment to come see us.
But can you see us across the distance? Can you sense us?
Have you felt our thoughts, reaching for you? I am always thinking of you.
Father says that the enchanters who have done this to you are too powerful, and that we are helpless.
But if everything Father has attempted is through a lawyer, of course it would fail.
I said to him, if they stole her with enchantment, we must steal her back with enchantment.
And he looked at me with pity. With pity!
He said that was hopeless, and I should abandon the thought.
“Do not waste your time,” he said. “They own this world. They own the city. They own the courts. They own enchantment. There is nothing we can do.”
I can’t accept this, Mother. I think of what you always said to me: you only need one light to find your way in the darkness. One light.
I will find a way to free you.
All my love,
Clem