Chapter 5
Mertie hadn’t been at Bible study that morning. After the way she took off yesterday, Garnet knew he shouldn’t have been surprised.
But a man could hope.
A man could spend his life hoping and always be disappointed.
Or he could assume that God knew what He was doing and that the life he had was the life he was supposed to have.
Looking back, he wasn’t sure what decisions he could have made differently that would make things turn out the way he really wanted them to. He had to admit, God knew best. Even when it wasn’t what he wanted.
“Is it okay if I take my book, go to the healing garden, and read for a bit?” Dabney stood in front of him on his parents’ front porch, and it took Garnet a minute to bring his mind back to the present.
“Sure. But if you’re going down to the lake, I don’t want you to swim without someone with you.”
They had always gone by the buddy rule. Growing up by the lake, it was intrinsic for him, but since Dabney hadn’t, he hadn’t drilled into her head that she never swim alone from the time she was little the way he had, so he felt like he needed to remind her.
As usual, she didn’t look irritated, but just nodded her head and said, “I wasn’t going to go down to the lake. But I really like the garden. I think it’s the water.”
She carried her book, a real, live book, and walked off the porch, walking sedately toward the garden.
He watched her go. She was getting so big. And he knew he was blessed. She had hardly ever given him a day’s worth of trouble. A few scary times when she had been sick, once when she had gotten stung by a bee and he had to take her to the emergency room for some treatments and had gotten a permanent EpiPen, but other than that, she had been a dream.
He had never questioned his decision to keep her himself, rather than trying to find a couple to adopt her. Until now.
The pastoral committee had asked about her mother, and Garnet had not gone into great detail. He just said he wasn’t divorced and her mother wasn’t in the picture. Both true statements.
“Honey, how did Bible study go this morning?” his mother asked, coming to the door and pushing it open.
She had been the full-time caretaker for his dad for the last six months since his dad had suffered a stroke and been wheelchair-bound.
That was part of the reason Garnet had decided to come to Raspberry Ridge and apply for the pastoral position. Even though he would be taking a huge cut in salary.
“It went well. I wish you could go.” His mother refused to leave her husband for that long. Typically morning and evening were the busiest times, getting him out of bed and ready for the day and then getting him ready for bed in the evening. She wouldn’t go until he was up, and his normal time to get up was right in the middle of the prayer meeting.
“This just isn’t my season,” his mother said, coming out and sitting down in a rocking chair. Their front porch was picturesque, with several rocking chairs, a nice porch swing, and a shade tree right off to the side. There wasn’t much sidewalk to speak of in Raspberry Ridge, but their house sat a little bit back away from the road, and parking was off the street. It was a perfect place for a kid to grow up, and he had an idyllic childhood.
He felt a little guilty for pulling his daughter out of her friend circle and making her move right in the middle of her teenage years. He tried to think about how unsettled that would make him feel, but he could hardly imagine. He always felt so grounded and secure as an only child growing up, his parents both in the home and no drama.
So much different than Dabney’s childhood.
“Do you think they’re enjoying the way you lead Bible study?” his mother asked after a few moments of silence.
“They seem to. There were almost as many people there today as there were yesterday.” The only one who hadn’t shown back up was Mertie. And he wasn’t sure whether he could count her as yesterday’s participant or not, since she had been there for the beginning but had left before he had started teaching.
“I just feel bad that you’ve come the whole way to Raspberry Ridge to help me out, and you might not even get that job.”
“If I don’t, I’ll know it’s because God has something else in store for me. But there’s no question in my mind that I’m supposed to be here with you and Dad.” He could not help but take care of his parents. Not after they’d done so much for him. He didn’t really understand the idea of a child not taking care of their parents. Regardless, everyone had their own situation and he didn’t want to judge. He just knew that his place was with his parents for as long as he could handle it.
“You don’t need to worry about anything, Mom. I’m still getting some income from my blog and from the social media posts I do. It’s going to be enough.” It wouldn’t be enough for him to make a house payment or car payment, it definitely wouldn’t be enough for him to pay for college for Dabney, but he hadn’t raised her to expect him to pay for her. His car was paid off, and as long as he lived with his parents, the only thing he had to do was buy health insurance. Which wasn’t cheap, but since he didn’t need anything else, he would be able to get by.
“Your blog must not take much time.”
“I wrote one this morning before I went to Bible study. And I wrote it on the same thing I was teaching in Bible study, so I was kind of killing two birds with one stone.” He found that when he studied something in the Bible, he tended to go deep. As deep as he could, and he always ended up with more material than he could ever use. So he figured he might as well write a blog post about it. The social media posts were short excerpts from his blog, punchy lines that were short enough to draw attention, at least that’s what he hoped.
“Are you working on that book?” his mom asked, the rocking chair going, but her hands and fingers on her lap were not still.
“Mom. I promise you. You do not need to worry. God has me.”
“I’m not worried,” she said, looking over at him with a slight bit of irritation on her face, but her hands didn’t quit moving.
“Mother,” he said, lifting a brow and then looking deliberately at her lap where one hand picked at the fingernail on the other.
“You’re my son. I just... I want you to be safe and happy. I figure that if you come here, you’re never going to get married, and I always still hope that you would.”
He allowed a few beats to pass. He didn’t want to talk about it and really didn’t want to be honest, but it was his mother and he’d do his best.
“I’d like to, but I’d rather not be married to anyone than married to the wrong woman.”
People told him he was too picky, and maybe that was true. He wanted a woman who studied the Bible before she met him, and not just because she knew it was important to him. Of course, if she was influenced to start studying after they met, that was a different story, but he didn’t want someone who was just doing it for show, who was going to quit the second they said “I do.” He wanted someone whose faith was strong on her own. Someone who was so close to the Lord that he could get her advice and opinion on things, he could talk to her about the deep things he thought about, that she wouldn’t think he was crazy or nuts for eschewing so many of the things that society thought were important and wanting instead a simple life, filled with trying to put biblical principles into practice.
“How’s your book coming?”
“I suppose it’s coming okay. I’ll have more time to work on it here.” If he were hired, which it looked like he would be, he could write his book around the sermons he preached. Or the opposite, preach the sermons around whatever chapter he was writing in his book.
But that really wasn’t what he was thinking about.
“I heard there were some ladies who visit a local, newly married woman, giving her some advice on her marriage and her home. Vera spearheads that. If you are interested in tagging along, I’m sure they would be interested in having you.”
“I’ll have to make sure I talk to her about that,” he said. Those were the kinds of things he wanted to do, to help people. To strengthen marriages and help people get closer to the Lord.
“Are you ever going to tell anyone about Dabney?”
Garnet felt his eyes widen and was glad he was looking away from his mother. Back when he had first gotten Dabney, he hadn’t told his parents who the mother was. She had been classified as an abandoned baby, and he had been able to adopt her, although there had been a lot of hoops and red tape. But he had been able to do it without disclosing the identity of her mom. There were only two people in the entire world, as far as he knew, who knew about Dabney. Himself and Mrs. Calvin.
He had never questioned Mertie about how she had been able to hide her pregnancy and, even more, how she’d been able to hide the birth. Those were secrets that Mertie still carried.
“I suppose coming back here, a lot of people are going to wonder.”
“Including your mother.”
“I’m sorry, Mom. There are some things I just can’t talk about. And unfortunately, that is one of those things.”
“Don’t you think Dabney has the right to know the truth?”
“I think she does.” He needed to talk to Mertie. Dabney definitely should know the truth. But he wasn’t the one who was at liberty to tell it. It was Mertie. And obviously she didn’t want to face it since she had gone running out of Bible study yesterday. He’d been praying about it since, hoping that she would come to her senses and realize that perhaps she would be set free by telling the truth.
“But?” his mother prompted when he didn’t say anything more.
“But it’s not my truth to tell.” He shifted, moving over toward the steps. “Dabney went to the healing garden to read a book. As long as you think everything will be okay with Dad, I’m going to walk to the church and work on Sunday’s sermon.” He didn’t add that he was going to pray about the situation. He felt like it could be better handled in a different way, but he also felt like his hands were tied, and it wasn’t up to him to handle it. It was up to Mertie.
“All right. I can call you if I need you,” his mom said, sounding resigned but not angry. Of course she was going to be upset. But she respected the fact that he couldn’t tell other people’s secrets. That some things just weren’t the way they wanted them to be, and that had to be okay.
He grabbed the bag with his laptop, notebooks, and Bible in it and walked off the porch, giving his mom a smile as he did so. And then he walked up the street toward the alleyway where the little white church sat up on a hill, with a beautiful view of the lake in the distance, and overlooking the town as well. The cemetery up there was beautiful, with Vera and Dominic Miller taking over the care of it and making the entire spot peaceful and beautiful.
As he walked, he enjoyed the scenery, but he was also praying. Praying that there would be a resolution to this that would not hurt Dabney, that would not ruin Mertie’s career. He could be wrong, but he bet that was what the issue was.
Regardless, it couldn’t be the only thing he thought about. He had to focus on the sermon he was going to give on Sunday, the one the next Sunday, and doing what he could to further God’s kingdom here, whether he became the pastor in Raspberry Ridge or not.