Chapter 14 - Ava
I slide a cup of hot chocolate over the counter toward Emily, my heart clenching at how sad she looks.
When Ronan dropped her off earlier, she’d walked through the door and instantly dissolved into a flood of tears.
It breaks my heart to see someone who is usually so upbeat and positive broken like this by a foolish wolf who is going to throw away his life and position in Starcreek.
I’ve seen that play out with my own family. Frankly, they were lucky to be banished and not killed for their treachery.
I reach out and put my hand on hers. “Have a drink, it will help.” I try to sound encouraging even though I know a hot sugary drink isn’t going to fix this.
“It’s all my fault,” she says quietly, clearly trying to fight back fresh tears. “If I hadn’t agreed to go on those dates with him, he might not have thought he could try this.”
I shake my head emphatically, “No, none of this is your fault,” I tell her. “He would have done this anyway. It sounds like he was hoping that with your approval, he could pretend it’s what your father would have wanted. He wanted you to legitimize his stupid plan.”
A couple of stray tears roll down Emily’s cheeks, and she wipes them away quickly. “And now there will be a challenge…one of them will die. Maddox won’t win, will he?”
No, he can’t.
“Don’t even think that,” I say, forcing some semblance of positivity into my tone. “Ronan is by far the stronger wolf. He’s an alpha, Maddox isn’t.”
“Sure thinks he is,” Emily mutters.
The silence that follows is heavy, but Emily is the first to break it, in a way that I don’t expect.
“How are things with you and Ronan?” she asks, and immediately her face screws up like she regrets asking. “Sorry, you don’t have to tell me. I’m just…I guess I’m curious. But also, ew, he’s my brother. So please don’t actually tell me, but also tell me, if that makes sense.”
I laugh, a choked sound, and take a fortifying sip of my own hot chocolate. “It’s…complicated,” I manage, and it’s true, but also the most useless answer I could give.
Emily snorts. “That’s what he said, too. But he’s not very good at talking about feelings. He just gets all broody and weird.” She wraps both hands around her mug. “But he’s been different since you got here.”
She stares down at the swirling foam, then adds, “He doesn’t know how to relax, but lately he’s been less…tense, I guess. I mean, you haven’t seen him at his worst, so angry and stressed out since Dad died. It’s a lot, I think, to become alpha. He’s calmer with you here.”
I can barely hide the shock on my face and splutter slightly as my drink goes down the wrong way. “I doubt that’s anything to do with me. He’s just getting ready for the ceremony, probably feeling more grounded.” I add, “Until this business with Maddox kicked off.”
I regret adding that last bit as Emily’s face falls again. “You have to stop blaming yourself. He was going to do all this anyway, and thank the goddess Jacob was there when you needed him.”
At the mere mention of Jacob’s name, a crimson sweep travels along Emily’s cheeks, and she busies herself with swirling the disappearing contents of her cup. “Er, yes, it was,” she says, all nonchalant. “Jacob scares everyone, so that was…good.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to tease her about Jacob, but something tells me she’s not ready to go there yet, and it would have the opposite effect of lightening the mood.
The thought of Emily with Ronan’s best friend and beta might be too much for this moment, so I simply nod and take her cup to offer a refill.
I think I’m as desperate for something to do with my hands as she is—the thought of an official challenge makes my wolf uneasy.
Ronan will win, I’ve no doubt. But everyone knows Maddox is a strong wolf, not an alpha, as he clearly imagines himself to be, but he is strong.
Fueled with some kind of delusion, he would be a dangerous opponent.
I think about my parents’ foolish plan for me to somehow kill Ronan—I should be glad there’s an opportunity for a challenge, a chance for that to come true.
If Ronan died, I could just leave, couldn’t I?
Go back to Sophie and run away once and for all.
But, as I look over at Emily, surrounded by Ronan’s scent and then the memory of his hands on my body, I know there has to be another way.
I top up Emily’s chocolate with a fresh batch and add a few marshmallows before sliding it back across. Emily thanks me, her voice small, but she’s at least trying to smile, and the blush has receded slightly. I’ll have to ask her about Jacob one day…if I’m still here, of course.
Her phone, which is face down on the counter, suddenly starts to vibrate. The buzz is so sudden and loud that it makes us both jump, and Emily’s hand jerks out, sending her cup flying. The contents slosh everywhere, a sticky, chocolate wave pouring over the edge and right onto my open tote bag.
"Oh, Goddess, I’m so sorry," she yelps, grabbing for napkins, but I’m already yanking my bag off the counter, cocoa streaming from the bottom.
"It’s fine, it’s fine," I say, forcing a laugh. "Goddess, that’s the least of my problems." But I’m already picturing the mess inside—my phone, my notebook, the battered envelope from my landlord, and, shit, my photo.
Emily is already on the phone, voice trembling as she reassures whoever is on the other end that she’s fine. She hangs up quickly, just as I’m emptying the contents of my bag onto the counter and grabbing some paper towels.
Emily reaches for some of the towels and immediately starts dabbing at the counter and the items I dumped there.
Her eyes seem to zero in on the small, chocolate-streaked rectangle amidst the jumble.
It’s the photo. Sophie’s photo. The one I’d made a mental point to keep hidden, but can never bear to be far away from, as I check it several times a day, and now here it is, exposed and sticky on the countertop.
“Oh, jeez, sorry, sorry,” Emily says again, but she picks up the photo before I can snatch it, cradling it in a napkin instead of her bare fingers, as if she knows instinctively how precious it is. She wipes delicately, trying not to smudge the ink, her brow furrowed in concentration.
I want to demand it back, but my voice dies in my throat. She holds the photo at arm’s length, squinting at the face in it. “You said this is your cousin’s little girl?” she asks, but her tone is different this time. It’s less casual and more searching. She’s looking at me, not the picture.
I nod, because it’s easier than explaining anything, but Emily just keeps looking between me and the photo, her mouth working like she’s chewing over a math equation. “She’s beautiful,” she says. “She looks a lot like you…and almost identical to Ronan when he was a pup.”
She slides the photo closer, squinting so hard I’m afraid she’ll burn a hole through it. “That can’t just be a coincidence,” she says, almost to herself. “Ava. This is yours and Ronan’s kid, isn’t it?”
The room tunnels around me. My fingers dig into the counter, searching for purchase as my wolf howls in panic and something else, something that wants to curl up and die. I can’t breathe. I think I manage a sound, something halfway between a gasp and a laugh, but Emily is relentless.
“I knew it,” she says, voice low and not at all accusatory, more like she’s simply glad she was right about something.
“You were banished with your family. I’d seen you and Ronan together when I was younger, but I never imagined…
but this is Ronan’s, isn’t it? She looks just like him.
Just like you, too, but—Goddess, that’s why you came back, isn’t it? ”
I can't get any words out, but then something strikes me. “You saw us together?” I ask, confused. No one ever knew we were together back then.
She nods thoughtfully. “I used to want to follow him everywhere when I was younger,” she explains.
“Of course, I was never allowed. But I caught him sneaking out to the trail once and followed him. I saw you waiting for him, and the way he ran toward you…I didn’t want to hang around; I knew I’d get into so much trouble.
But I followed him again once, after I saw him packing some food. ”
The picnic we had in the forest only days before my parents’ betrayal was exposed.
I’m completely dumbfounded as she explains that’s why she wasn’t surprised when he chose me. She always thought he was in love with me, and it was so sad that I’d been banished, too.
“He doesn’t know about her, does he?” Emily says, handing me the photo.
Tears spring to my eyes as the weight of it all comes crashing down.
I could lie, try to deny it. But as I look up at her, I know the truth is in my eyes.
I shake my head, trying to clear the fog of despair that has descended.
“No,” I say quietly, “I’ve been trying to find the right time.
I didn’t know when I left, and I think he’ll be angry. ”
Emily shakes her head. “Angry? No, this is wonderful news. He’ll be happy, I—”
“Please let me tell him,” I plead, “please don’t tell anyone.”
“No, of course not…” she begins, and then trails off, the color draining from her face.
“What is it?” I ask, dread coiling in my stomach.
Emily’s hand flies to her mouth, her eyes wide with horror. “Oh Goddess,” she whispers. “Oh no, Ava, I’m so stupid.” She covers her face for a second, then drags her hands down, leaving streaks of fresh tears across her cheeks. “I told him,” she says, voice barely above a whisper. “I told Maddox.”
My brain stutters, the words refusing to make sense. “Told him what?”
She looks up, and her lower lip is trembling now.
“About the photo. I know you said she was your cousin’s little girl, but I was just so sure she was yours.
Your reaction…the way she looks like you and Ronan.
I—I’m so sorry.” She starts to cry again, harder than before, but she pushes through, gulping for air.
“He asked about you, and about Ronan, and I thought he was just being nice—he is, was, practically part of our family. I thought…I thought it was kind of romantic that there could be this secret kid. I got kind of carried away with the idea.” She laughs, a bitter, brittle sound.
“We were dating, and I was just gossiping; we weren’t talking seriously or anything.
Maddox even said we shouldn’t assume anything.
I didn’t realize he was using me to find information about Ronan.
To hurt Ronan. I told him so much about all sorts of things. I didn’t know he’d—”
The thought of anyone using Sophie to hurt Ronan, or what he’d do to me or her if he found out, makes my stomach lurch.
“What if Maddox tries to take Sophie, brings her here to parade in front of the pack and show them that Ronan had a child with the traitors, that we were together at the same time my parents were plotting against the pack? People may turn on him or doubt him.”
A thousand scenarios, each worse than the one before, flash through my mind, but I snap out of it when I realize how distraught Emily is. Yes, it was naive and silly to tell someone when she didn’t even have all the facts, but it wasn’t malicious.
“Em, come on, don’t cry.” I say, pulling her into my arms, “Just give me some time to figure out the best thing to do. I’ll tell Ronan, okay? I just need some time to figure out the best way to do it.”
“Are you going to tell him that I told Maddox?” Emily sobs.
I shake my head. “Hopefully, he won’t need to hear that part. But it doesn’t matter, anyway; I’m not mad about that, and he wouldn’t be either. Maddox is the one in the wrong. It will all be okay.”
She sniffles and nods, apologizing again. “Tell me about her?” she finally says. “I want to hear all about my niece.”
We both cry as I begin to tell her all about my beautiful daughter, but I can’t bring myself to mention the danger she’s in. That’s something I’m going to have to deal with all by myself.