33. Soulful Hurtz
Chapter Thirty-Three
SOULFUL HURTZ
I slept in today but woke up feeling like the weight of the world was still plastered on my shoulders.
I got up and handled my hygiene and walked into the kitchen area.
Grabbing the carton of orange juice, I felt a presence and quickly grabbed my nine milli from the top of the refrigerator and had it aimed soon as I shut the door with the carton and gun secured tightly pointing at my intruder.
I dropped my gun and frowned when I noticed that it was Inferno and Big B standing there with nonchalant facial expressions.
“Stay dangerous nigga, I like that… only next time shoot first check to see if a muthafucca still alive afterward.” He sneered but I was used to that creepy ass look of his by now.
You could look in this nigga Inferno’s eyes and tell he was crazy as fuck.
It was Saturday and Passion was still sleeping while I decided to let Luv go with my mom for the weekend.
It was time that I let Luv see just exactly how our momma was since she wanted to defy me so badly.
Luv was now ten and for her birthday I gifted her a damn iPhone.
Since she was with my mom, I called to check in on her about a million times a day.
This was my first time letting her go and I felt like I didn’t have much of a damn choice in the matter.
Luv begged to go, and my mom egged that shit on knowing damn well she didn’t need to take Luv with her.
My mom was really on her last leg with me so if anything went down with my sister being in her custody for this weekend, she would have to face me as the consequence mother or not.
“You couldn’t just knock?” I took a seat at the dining table and took a couple of sips from the carton as I eyed Inferno and Big B.
“Sovereign is starting to rub off on me, you know her ass love breaking in people’s places.” We all shared a small laugh. “I don’t really have much time, but I came here to tell you about your new job.”
“New job?” I frowned as I looked at him, never breaking our stare off.
“Yes, new job Teddy.” Sovereign’s sweet-smelling perfume made its way into the kitchen before she appeared.
“I want you to have more time on your hands and also put you in a position to make good money outside of the streets. I can’t force you to go back to school nor focus back on football so I would like to make you a businessman in Inferno’s syndicate.
You will be making six figures and still be something like your own boss.
Training will take you about three months, during this time you will be transforming into the man that will be able to send your sisters to college.
You don’t want them to see you dealing the same drugs that your mom can’t stay away from. ”
I watched her walk in front of Inferno as he pulled her close and rubbed on her stomach.
You could feel the love between the both of them as he kept his heavy gaze on her.
The last part of what she said hit me hard and it made a lot of sense.
I kept what I did away from my sisters but there was only a matter of time before one of them knew about what I was out in the streets doing.
“F.Y.F will always be there, but that’s being taken to different lengths.
I don’t want you on the front-line Teddy.
I want you to make better choices and follow whatever dreams and goals you come up with along the way.
You still young and trust if I had the opportunity, I would have jumped on it.
” She looked at me somberly, and I nodded my head.
I was willing to do whatever it was to still get paid.
“You can still chase your dreams baby; you just didn’t have the right people in your life at the time. That’s what the fuck I’m here for.” Inferno kissed her temple, and I watched her blush as she smiled and turned a little to look up at him with adoration in her eyes.
“You got some kind of candy here?” Big B’s deep raspy voice broke the silence as I pointed toward the pantry.
Big B was a big scary looking nigga, the kind of nigga that was quiet most of the time so whenever he did speak it shocked you.
He dressed funny as fuck but gave off the demeanor that would dare you to criticize him about his choice of clothes.
“What kind of work is it?” I asked curiously, I had already made a whole lot of money in the streets and had enough to hold me over.
“First, I wanted to gift you a four-bedroom house. It’s going to be close to me and Malice’s new house.
Here are the keys.” She dug into her purse and tossed me a set of keys.
My heart sped up as my stomach tightened.
“This is the paperwork for the house, that shit nice, and in your name. Mortgage is going to hit you for twenty-three hundred a month, but you will be making enough a month to pay that shit up for years to come.”
I hopped up and made my way towards Queen. Inferno gave us space as I pulled Queen in for a tight hug. I couldn’t hold back my happy tears in front of everybody because from day one, Queen has always come through for a nigga.
“You like my family, Teddy. I know it’s so much you battle, and I want you to always know I’m here for you and to show you that we always gon’ be tight and more then just gang shit.
I want you to be my baby’s god dad. I don’t really got family left, family that I even can trust but with you at least I know you someone that’s solid and in my corner no matter what.
” We broke out of our embrace, and she took her soft delicate hands and wiped at my tears.
“We locked in for life, nigga. Yo problems is mine.”
“I need your help with Luv and Passion.” I was always the one that refused help.
I never wanted to appear like a charity case, and I damn sure didn’t want any sympathy.
I was utterly confused when it came down to raising Luv and Passion.
They both were way different as far as personality went.
Passion hadn’t been the same since she saw what she saw with our mom and Luv had nothing but anger and frustration inside of her.
I felt for Passion because the mention of our mom or the sight of her made her jumpy.
She didn’t too much care to even be around her.
It was going to take a whole lot of forgiving and understanding for Passion to even become back open to accepting Antionette.
Queen nodded her head and turned to Inferno to tell him that he could leave and that she planned on spending the day here with me.
Once they were gone, Queen took off her hoodie and got comfortable.
She started breakfast and had me tell her everything that had been going on with me.
To say that I felt like I pushed big boulders off of my shoulders was an understatement.
It felt like I released years’ worth of shit that I had been holding in.
Not once did Queen cut me off or stop me short of talking.
For the first time in a long time, I got a chance to express myself fully to somebody that actually wanted to hear it.
She maneuvered around the kitchen effortlessly as I started talking to her about Jocelyn and how I felt about her.
When I was done talking, I felt appreciative and had a whole lot of gratitude towards Queen for just listening.
She sat a plate down in front of me that smelled delicious as hell.
She walked back towards the counter and got another big plate that was full of different kinds of fresh fruits.
I looked down at the first plate and it had pancakes, bacon and eggs.
“I want to wake Passion up, is that okay with you? I don’t want her food getting cold but before I get her… I just want to say.” She took a seat next to me, the look she gave was serious.
“Never question God or blame him for how your life ended up, Teddy. That self-esteem that you’re desperately looking for will come and when it do, I promise you will be very sure of yourself in so many ways that when other people talk shit about you, you won’t even believe them.
My esteem used to be so low that back then I would have never thought I was capable of feeling how I feel now.
Can’t nobody put esteem back in you but you.
Our lives wasn’t ideal, it wasn’t typical, we had to work for shit harder than others so we appreciate the small things more then the big things.
I say to you, don’t question God because us imperfect humans love to question the creator.
There’s this thing called free will and I believe in that shit.
God didn’t create us as robots, and he blesses us not control us.
Things happen for reasons we at the time don’t understand until a time later in life comes, then we see shit clearer.
You got to take small steps at accepting yourself and the hand you were dealt.
I say small steps because big steps don’t work right of back.
Shit don’t change over night, ease your way into it, accept and don’t question the blessings that’s coming your way because these blessings are big as long as I’m alive.
If I got it, you got it. That’s my word and I stand on every word I say.
Me and you ain’t that far off, just a big age gap.
I’m going to help you Teddy, and I can’t wait to see the man you become in life.
Starting with the girls, I understand you feel sorry for the situation with y’all mom.
You can’t let them run over you and you’re the provider.
The biggest mistake I made with Empress was always using our parents as an excuse for her shitty behavior.
I was always giving and spoiling her, but I never thought about instilling the good traits that I had into her. ”