Chapter 79 Lee
Lee
Lee checked her phone: almost ten—time to feed Yassus once more and call a car to the airport. The timing felt appropriate—she’d take care of the last creature who needed her, then go. In her purse, Lee had twenty-eight pills wrapped in a silk scarf, enough sedative-hypnotic to set her free.
She folded her pajamas, her movements slow and meditative.
The Plaka apartment was spookily silent.
Charlotte had reunited with Paros, packed up her monogrammed duffel, and boarded a tall sailing ship.
The girls were usually in their room or busy with school friends and activities.
Lee sipped yet another cup of instant coffee, ready to stop haunting a space where she no longer belonged.
She knocked on the girls’ bedroom door. “I’m heading out soon.”
“OK,” came Isabelle’s muffled voice through the wood.
“Bye,” called Flora.
Lee pushed the door open. Both girls were on their beds, staring at devices—Flora cross-legged with her laptop open beside her, probably doing homework even though it was Saturday, Isabelle sprawled across her comforter, scrolling.
The girls glanced up briefly, their faces blank.
Lee remembered how they had clung to her when she first arrived.
Looking at them, Lee realized she wasn’t even seeing Flora and Isabelle—she was seeing problems she’d failed to solve. Flora’s compulsive studying, Isabelle’s practiced indifference. Even now, she was cataloging their damage instead of simply…loving them.
“I’ll call when I land,” Lee said, though she knew she wouldn’t.
There would be no landing, no calls, no checking in.
Just allowing herself to sleep in one of those wonderful first-class cubicles, blocked from prying eyes.
Lee would eat the warm nuts before takeoff, a hot fudge sundae in the dark, then press the button that would extend her seat into a cozy, completely flat nest. The pills, a warm blanket, slippers, a silk eye mask over her closed lids.
The soothing thrum of jet engines propelling her over the sea.
“Bye,” repeated Flora, already looking back at her screen.
Lee wanted to sit beside Flora, to embrace her and help her stop trying to be perfect, stop making herself invisible. But was she seeing Flora’s pain, or projecting her own? Was this even about Flora at all? Words burned inside Lee—not words of love, but words of instruction.
“Take care of each other,” she said—something a caring aunt should say, not something she actually felt.
They nodded politely, distractedly, dismissively.
Bye.
Lee stood in the hallway. She missed the sound of Charlotte’s Greek game shows that played too loudly every afternoon. When Lee had asked her mother if she should go back to California, Charlotte had said yes.
“I’m not needed here,” Lee had said.
Charlotte had said, “Yes, that’s right. I’m proud of you, Lee. Maybe you can bring me to the Academy Awards!”
Lee knocked on Regan’s door, but there was no answer.
She peered in and saw her sister fast asleep.
Lee knew that Regan was strong, stronger than she.
She was already pulling out of her complicated mess, and Lee’s will would leave her family with plenty of money.
Flora could buy a new computer; Regan could return to Savannah if she wanted, or not; Isabelle could move to Manhattan.
This was it—the last time she’d see this place and these people. The pills weren’t about ending despair anymore. They were about finally being honest—she’d been going through the motions for so long, she’d forgotten what it actually felt like to love. Quietly, she pulled Regan’s door shut.
The only thing left was Yassus. One last meal for her friend. And then she could board her plane and solve the problem of being Lee Perkins once and for all.