Chapter 3
Last night, I’d fallen asleep with Arrow staring at me.
The intense look he possessed let me see that he wasn’t really looking at me but through me. Almost like he wanted to commit each bruise and disfiguration of my face to memory. Arrow took the assault to my body personally, but I didn’t understand why.
Was it possible to care so much about a stranger?
“I know you ain’t sleep. Little man been up tootin’ his lips for a minute now. He need yo’ milk, or he liable to starve.”
I snorted a laugh and rolled over.
“He ate no less than three hours ago. The last thing he is about to do is starve.” I rolled my eyes and sat up.
“You don’t know. He could be in severe turmoil for all we know. Right, little man?”
Hendrix’s only response was to look up at Arrow with wide eyes.
I understood because that man was huge. My eyes roamed over the man who looked at my son the way only a father could. There were so many conflicting thoughts rolling around in my head as I watched this stranger with my son. Gideon looked at Hendrix like a burden, nuisance, but Arrow looked at him like the gift he was to me.
I reached for Hendrix, and Arrow turned him over without argument.
“I don’t want you to think that your hospitality is in vain, but we can’t stay here. I appreciate?—”
“Izzy starts cooking early, so breakfast should be done. We can go eat once you’re done feeding him. I’ll take you to the general store to get you some things after. No matter how many times you say it… Charlie —” he gave me a look like the name tasted wrong on his tongue—“you aren’t going anywhere until you tell me who hurt you. Once I have a name, I won’t stop you from leaving,” Arrow lied, and we both knew it.
Hendrix squirmed, so I put the blanket over my shoulder, then released the snaps on my tank so he could eat.
“Why do you care who hurt me? What do you get out of this situation that has nothing to do with you?”
His eyes were cold, jaw clenched, and the vein in the middle of his forehead was prominent as he stared at me.
I didn’t regret my question, but I did regret how I’d asked. Since being kidnapped by pickup truck, everyone I had come in contact with had been nice. Well, everyone except Izzy. She was cool when she found me on the side of the road, but something changed overnight, and I had too much going on in my life to try and figure out what. She made it a point to explain to me that she and Arrow were working on their relationship, which I found weird for two reasons.
One, because she had to be around my mother’s age—and although older—Arrow couldn’t have been that much older than me. Two, because last night that man had been in here with Hendrix and me.
“I’ll tell you why I care and what I get out of the situation once you tell me who hurt you. You have a ring on your finger, so I know it was your husband. I just need you to come up off his name so I can make you a widow.”
I was swallowing saliva as he said the last part and ended up choking on my spit.
“What!” I looked at him like he’d suddenly grown three heads.
“I’m not repeating what I said when I know you heard me.”
Arrow cocked his head to the left, and I squirmed under his gaze.
If I didn’t have to keep moving to make sure Gideon didn’t find me, I would still be in a hurry to leave, simply because of how much Arrow unnerved me. To him, I was like a problem that needed solving. He had this hard exterior, but the way he was with Hendrix and me proved that there was some softness to him.
I looked down at my son. He was knocked out, so I laid him next to me and turned toward Arrow.
“I don’t want to keep going out with my face like this. I should have thought about my makeup kit before I left. I feel crazy.”
I smoothed a hand over my lip and both eyes like Arrow needed help identifying the marks I was talking about.
“I don’t know what you’re used to, but the general store got some good shit. If anybody is making you feel uncomfortable, let me know, and it won’t happen again.”
“Nobody is making me uncomfortable, but this is the longest time I had to walk around like this. Usually, I?—”
My words came to a screeching halt, and I stood.
I needed to get away from this man because he had me opening up about things I’d been silent about for years. In the bathroom, I shut the door and locked it. With my back against the door, I leaned my head back and sighed. Some way or another, I needed to get out of here, but telling Arrow about Gideon was out of the question.
If there was any way I could help it, Arrow would never find out about Gideon, and I would be able to keep him safe because Gideon had no limits when it came to me.
“You’re looking refreshed. I wanted to come over and speak yesterday, but Arrow’s big ass was hovering, and I didn’t feel like getting into it with him. How are you holding up?”
I looked over my shoulder at the man who slid next to me.
“I’m feeling better. The warden let me out, and it was good for me and the baby.”
He tossed his head back and laughed, and it brought a smile to my face as well.
“The warden? I think that’s more than fitting for him.” The stranger smiled and continued getting his dinner.
The day had gone better than expected, and I only caught myself looking over my shoulder a couple of times while we were out earlier.
Our outing was nothing glamorous, and Arrow didn’t really talk much. The general store had a lot more than I envisioned. I was a little self-conscience about Arrow being in my personal space so much, but to myself, I could admit that it was nice. Gideon and I met in college, and he was my first everything, so right away, he knew that I’d be everything to him. I didn’t know who I was without him, and I hated that about myself.
Now, I was trying to start a life without him, and it almost didn’t seem possible… However, there was no going back.
“What did Snoopy say to you?”
The sound of Arrow’s booming voice sounded behind me, and I gripped the tray to make sure none of my food went flying.
“Oh my God! How are you so big but make no noise when you walk?” I shook my head and glared at him. “He was just checking on me and telling me that I looked better. I guess a lot of people feel that way. Yesterday and this morning, my face was full of bruises, and now it’s gone. It’s okay for people to be curious.”
“He shouldn’t be checking you out.” Arrow grunted and looked in the direction Snoopy had gone in. “Let me know if anyone tries anything with you.”
I waved him off and walked toward the seat I had occupied the night before.
Arrow was hot on my heels and closer than he needed to be. When we reached the table, he pulled out my chair and scooted me too close to the table once my butt hit the seat. I scooted back a little bit, and he scoffed.
Arrow looked across the table and glared at Snoopy.
“I was just trying to be hospitable to our guest.”
“Well, don’t. Keep an eye. I’m going to make my plate?—”
“Oh! I was just bringing it to you.” Izzy beamed up at Arrow, who only returned her words with a scowl.
As if she were a gnat, Arrow walked around her and into the kitchen.
I didn’t know what their relationship was, but Arrow paid that woman in dust whenever they were breathing the same air. Snoopy snickered, and I cut my eyes at him. I wasn’t a fan of people being humiliated, and Arrow seemed to love dishing it out. I put a little of the mashed potatoes in my mouth and frowned.
Whatever I’d just eaten wasn’t even close to what I thought they were, and I was pissed.
“It’s cauliflower. Nobody eats it, but Izzy calls herself trying to get us to eat better, so she sneaks it into our meals a few times a month, and every time, it’s wasted.” Boss dropped his tray onto the table, turned his seat backward, and sat down. “Where my nephew?”
I smirked and hiked an eyebrow. “My son is sleeping. We had a long day today, so I’m sure he’s getting the rest his nosy butt missed out on while we were out.”
“Not too much on him. He’s only trying to figure out this world.”
I laughed, and it dropped when Arrow walked toward the table.
Boss leaned over and told me not to worry about him, but that was hard to do. Arrow sat like his brother, then looked down at my plate. After tasting the mashed cauliflower, I was good on the rest of the plate. He frowned but didn’t question it. I watched as the men ate, and it was as if no one had eaten for the last five days.
It was quite interesting because it seemed as if they inhaled, and the food disappeared.
“Is my food not good enough for you or something?” Izzy called me out.
I looked down like I had no clue how the food got there.
“It’s not that. I’m just not as hungry as I thought.”
“She don’t owe you no explanation. Don’t you have something else you could be doing right now than trying to check somebody?”
At the sound of Boss’s voice, Izzy’s back straightened up like a rod had been replaced for her spine.
I didn’t know or care about the dynamic she had with them, but they would never talk to me the way they talked to Izzy. Most of the bruises on my body came from me talking slick. These men would be in for a rude awakening if they tried to handle us the same.
I looked at Izzy, but her eyes landed on Arrow who only continued eating and offered nothing else.
“Uhm, I’m going to go check on the baby.”
I slid my seat back and stood.
“Aight.” Arrow agreed and stood.
“No, you stay. If he’s sleep, I’ll be right back.”
Ignoring me, Arrow led me around the tables and many chairs toward the back.
In the two days that I’d known him, I realized this man could be really irritating. Arrow was rude, caveman like, but so damn sweet and endearing. I hadn’t noticed it with anyone else, but with me, it was true. We made it to the room I had been sleeping in and stood still for some time.
Hendrix wasn’t making any noise, but I learned long ago that that didn’t mean he was still asleep.
“Is there a reason we in the hallway creepin’?”
I sucked my teeth and said, “If we go in and he’s awake, then he won’t go back to sleep.”
Arrow looked me upside my head, giving way to his confusion.
“Is there a reason he can’t be awake? His little ass been back here knocked out for like three hours. He need to be up anyway.”
Before I could protest, Arrow walked into the room and over to the bed.
He scooped Hendrix up and cradled him to his chest like a football. Pressed against Arrow, Hendrix looked like a speck in his arms. His attentiveness to my son gave me mixed emotions because Gideon never interacted with Hendrix this way, and he was his father. That quickly, fear was like ice in my veins at the thought of what my husband would do once he caught up to us. Arrow and his crew could be scary, but Gideon was powerful.
Although I was here against my will—at least it started out that way—I felt bad for what I was getting Arrow, his brother, and their friends into.
“Here.” I held out my arms. “Let me see if he’s wet. I’m surprised he ain’t screaming his head off to eat.” I chuckled.
“’Cause he know he safe. Hmm.” Arrow handed me Hendrix, then leaned against the wall… watching us. “So, what’s your plan when you leave here? Do you plan on running for the rest of your life?”
“You’re letting me go?”
Fuck everything else he was talking about.
Arrow smiled, licked his lips, and crossed the room in four steps. Dirty diaper in my hand be damned. That man backed me up until I hit the wall, pressed his forehead against mine, and looked me directly into my eyes. My senses were on overload.
I couldn’t pinpoint his scent, but I knew exactly what it was doing to my body.
“You ready to tell me your husband’s name? I told you I only had one condition, then you could be on your way.”
I squinted up at him because of the smirk that took over his lips when he said that.
“Worrying about who did what isn’t going to change the truth. You might as well let me go because I need to keep moving. My husband finding me here will be bad news for everyone?—”
“You think your husband has a chance of getting past the Rebels? I’d like to see it. You see how all you did was turn down a street and somebody was on you. The moment an outsider steps foot over the town line, I’m made aware. He is gon’ die, regardless if I have to go searching for him, or he brings his ass here. The damage done to you was a violation… The healed bruises and where Doc found them secured his place in hell.” Arrow rubbed his nose against mine and took a deep breath. “The only way out of Rushin Mills is in a body bag, baby. He can try it if he wants to… We’ll be ready.”
Arrow kissed my jaw, backed away, then turned on his heels and left the room.
In my face and looking in my eyes, that man told me he’d kill Gideon, and instead of being afraid… I wanted to fall to my knees and fill my mouth with all of him. Was it possible to have Stockholm syndrome within forty-eight hours of knowing someone? It took Hendrix cooing for me to snap back into my right mind. I finished getting him together, picked him up, and rocked him.
Arrow said the only way out was in a body bag… Did that go for me too?
“What has mommy done? Did I just put us in even more danger?”
There was no answer from Hendrix, and there wouldn’t be one.
Life with Gideon had been bad, but was this worse? I’d never felt more welcomed by anyone than I had with the Rebels, but this couldn’t be safe for my son and me. I hated feeling like I needed saving; however, having them on my side versus being alone didn’t sound half bad. Sighing, I kissed Hendrix’s forehead and decided it was time to come up with a plan. Arrow and his crew might be confident, but Gideon didn’t know how to fight fair.
I left the bedroom with determination and a timeline.
“Aye… Look who’s up! Hand my nephew here. He missed his uncle. Ain’t that right, namesake?”
Laughter bubbled out of me as I watched Boss with Hendrix. That man was just as delusional as his brother. Since my son was being loved on, I went to the couch and sat down near Izzy.
I wasn’t her favorite person, but I was willing to be cordial.
“So,” she started as soon as my butt hit the cushion, “when are you leaving?”
“Wow.” I shifted so I was facing her. “You do know that your problem with Arrow doesn’t have anything to do with me, right? I don’t want to be here just as much as you want me gone, but at least I’m not being a bitch to you. You are the one who called him the night I tried to catch some sleep on the side of the road, not the other way around. You could have let me leave when I was trying to.”
I waited for her to respond, but she never did.
We stared at each other until, once again, that man was in my personal space. He fell onto the cushion, and the impact bounced me partially into his lap. I pushed off him, glared, and Arrow cracked up.
Not once did he look in either of our directions, and out of my peripheral, Izzy shifted.
“You’re an asshole. How do you know we weren’t over here having a private conversation?”
“Because I know Izzy. She don’t fuck with you, so she ain’t talking about nothing if she was talking. That girl only care about one thing, and it’s something you can’t offer, so I was good.”
Izzy gasped and shot to her feet. I waited for her to light into him, but all she did was stomp away. I jerked my head back when she turned around and came back, pointing a finger at Arrow.
“Daddy told you that you had to be nice to me, and you’ve been everything but that. I’m gonna tell him about your mistreatment and how you invited an insider into our fold without consultation?—”
Arrow’s big stealthy ass jumped to his feet and got in her face.
Well, Izzy was only an inch or two taller than me, so it was mostly chest to face, but the point was Arrow had gotten in her face. Izzy tried to keep the fear off her face, but it was in her eyes, and that made me fear he’d hit her. If Arrow lifted one finger to Izzy, I’d join her in kicking his behind. There had been no one to protect me, and I wouldn’t allow the next woman to experience what I did.
I jumped when he clasped his hands in a prayer motion.
“If yo’ pops told you that’s what he told me, then he lied to you. I told your father that as long as you stayed out of my way, then we’d be good. I don’t owe you nothing. I deal with you because you’re here. Nothing more and no less. All that you do to get my attention back on you makes you look weird. Like I’ve said from the very beginning… I do not want you. There is literally nothing that you can do that would change my mind. Your existence has no bearing on how my life operates. Go tell your father you’re harassing me and see what he says. Your position may be permanent because of who your father is, but by no means do you have some type of leverage over me. Leave me alone.”
The entire time Arrow talked, I prayed for the couch to swallow me because he held nothing back.
“Izzy, do you need to come here with me and your mother? You too damn old to be bothering that man when he told you to leave him alone now. I’m trying to enjoy my vacation but can’t because you want to be a high schooler! Leave the damn man alone.”
Arrow and Izzy looked behind the couch toward the voice, and at the sound of it, he relaxed, but she tensed up. Just from their reactions, I could tell whoever was speaking was her father. One of the guys must have called him, and that made me even more embarrassed for her.
Arrow sat down on the couch a lot more gingerly than he did the first time.
“I won’t say it again. The next time, it’ll only be action,” he said through clenched teeth.
Izzy left the living room without another word.
I wanted to ask Arrow what happened that made him so mean to her, but I didn’t want him to think I was more invested than I was. Soon enough, I’d be long gone, and whatever they did would no longer matter. Silence filled the space as the television played some fight that had the rest of the guys in an uproar. Arrow was mean to Izzy, but his tight jaw and that vein in the middle of his forehead told the story of just how disturbed she had him. I wanted to comfort him, but in the same breath, I knew I couldn’t.
We couldn’t cross that invisible line, because I wasn’t here to stay.