Chapter 7
“Whew, little boy. What in the world am I feeding you?”
I held my breath as I attempted to change Hendrix without smearing his poop all over him and this makeshift changing table.
My stomach turned every which way, and he just looked at me wearing the biggest smile, showing all his gums. I chuckled and immediately regretted it. I turned my face and had to take a deep breath.
Hendrix was gonna have to be put outside to air dry.
“Damn! What the hell is that smell.”
I looked over my shoulder, and Arrow had his nose buried in his leather jacket. Rolling my eyes, I lifted the dirty diaper I just finished closing. He gagged, and I couldn’t blame him.
“He don’t even smell that bad,” I lied.
“You’s a got damn lie. He in here smelling like a grown ass man. Whatever you’re eating, make sure you don’t eat it again.” Arrow laughed at his own joke, and I bit my lip so I wouldn’t follow suit. “Y’all ready?”
I wrapped the diaper in a trash bag and set it at my feet.
We’d only been here for less than a week, and I had completely turned this space into my own. I didn’t know what to expect at Arrow’s place, but I was nervous about being there alone with him. We would have Hendrix, but my baby could barely hold his head up, so there was no way he could keep his mama from climbing that particular tree. I shook the thought from my head and pointed to the bags on the bed.
I hated carrying so much cash around, but I couldn’t risk going to the bank and leading Gideon right to me.
“Yup. Are you sure you want us in your space?”
“I wouldn’t be moving you there if I had a problem.”
Although his ignorant ass smiled, I knew he was being smart.
“Whatever. Once I figure out what you have in your house, I’ll place the order, but I’m paying you back. I don’t need no handouts.”
Arrow’s eyes darkened, and I gulped because, what had I said wrong?
With no response to what I said, Arrow crossed the room and scooped up the bags. I watched him and noticed every muscle in his shoulders and back as his body moved. He wore a white T-shirt, and it didn’t even look like it was too tight, but the way it hugged his muscles let me know it was formfitting. I wanted to ask him what happened, but I knew for my own sake, keeping quiet was my best bet. Picking Hendrix up from the bed, I walked around the room to make sure I had everything.
The room looked clear, so I confidently followed Arrow out of the bedroom.
“I guess with me gone, you can go back to bringing different girls here every night,” I joked but was really fishing.
“Trust me… Getting pussy is the last thing on my mind right now. Plus, I’d never do you like one of the broads that’s always chasing behind one of the Rebels.”
“Wait… what?”
Arrow kept walking, yet my feet stopped moving as I played his words back in my head.
This man was so frustrating because I wanted to be offended, but I knew that after the way I reacted whenever I was in his presence, I would fold like laundry. It was frustrating because, where was my resolve to not be weak in the knees when it came to a man? I didn’t realize I had been standing in the same spot for a long time until Arrow came back to grab Hendrix from my arms.
Like I was in a trance, I followed him out to his truck.
“What about my car? I bought it cash, but Gi—my husband has his ways.”
“That car was broken down the same night you arrived. The cash I got has been added to the money you got in that bag. Now come on and show me how to put him in this shit.”
I opened and closed my mouth several times as I stared at him, not fully understanding his motives.
“You didn’t think that you should have consulted me first? How was that your decision to make without my consent?”
I was fuming, but I couldn’t truly pinpoint where the anger was coming from.
Part of me felt like Arrow trying to control me was the red flag I missed with Gideon, yet his actions since I’d arrived had been for my well-being. I was beyond confused about my feelings. Finally, I was in a place to control the things that happened around me, but Arrow didn’t give me much wiggle room. Arrow stepped to the side and showed Hendrix’s car seat.
He was so frustrating because he wouldn’t answer me until I did what he asked.
“Are you watching?” I asked with enough attitude to warrant a reaction, but Arrow gave me nothing.
“Yeah, go ahead.”
His big body hovered over mine, and goosebumps covered my flesh. I rotated my head and pushed myself to concentrate. I’d done this a million times, so there was no reason for me to fumble this.
“Do you think you could give me some breathing room?”
I looked up into Arrow’s eyes, and it was a mistake I would never regret.
Without urgency, his eyes swept me from head to toe. I could feel the fire of his gaze on my ass, and my middle woke up in a way she hadn’t in a while. The right side of Arrow’s mouth lifted in a smirk, right before his bottom lip disappeared between his teeth. Nodding, Arrow took a step back, and I let out a breath and concentrated on getting my baby together. Once Hendrix was secure, I stepped back and smiled.
Arrow’s hand found its way to my hip, and he led me to the front passenger side.
“When we get to the house, I need you to make me a list of his needs that can’t wait for delivery. I’ll have Snoopy, or one of the other prospects go to the grocery store and get whatever.”
“You don’t have to do that. The general store had a few things I can grab. I don’t want to put anyone out.”
He waved me off. “When we get to the house, make the list. Also, do you want dinner to be carryout, or you want to cook?”
As he maneuvered the streets of his hometown, I stared at him, wondering if he had a hearing problem.
Whenever Gideon would talk over me or disregard what I was saying, it would make me mad enough to piss him off, even though I knew what would follow. However, with Arrow, his arrogance and inability to listen just made me want to pinch him. The kind of pinch I used to get as a kid when I touched something in a store after getting the speech all black moms gave before an outing.
I chuckled at the thought, and he took his eyes off the road for a second to look at me.
“We can order out. I don’t mind cooking, but pizza and wings will do the trick.”
Arrow nodded. “Bet. I have five bedrooms, but I know you’ll keep Hendrix in the room with you. We can set up one of the rooms to be his area where all his stuff is kept. Oh. When you put your order in for what you need for y’all, get that jewelry shit you were talking about the other day. Whatever you think you’ll need to get that stuff set up.”
Before he could finish his sentence, I was already shaking my head.
“No. You’re making statements like all of this is permanent. Once we’re out of the woods with my husband, me and my son will be on our way.”
“What if I didn’t want y’all to go? Huh, what then?”
My mouth dropped open, and I stared at the side of his face.
Arrow gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles were white. I could feel his irritation with him letting the words tumble out of his mouth. Turning back to face the front, I thought of all the reasons why staying here wouldn’t be right for Hendrix and me. Granted, everyone had been great to us, but this wasn’t our life, and I hated to impose on them.
All I’d known was Gideon, and I strongly felt that I needed to discover me before I could give me to someone else.
“Arrow. You don’t want me. I’m damaged and will probably always be because of what I went through. I?—”
“Need to stop talking before you piss me the fuck off.”
“I’m only being honest. I can’t give you what you’re looking for.”
He cut his eyes at me, so I folded my lips.
Arrow, although annoyingly generous, could be scary. I didn’t think for one second Hendrix or I would be in danger with him, but I could see why some might be afraid of him. My fear was him creating this vision of me in his head and me not living up to it. I couldn’t fathom getting attached to another person and being abandoned by them. It was why I stayed with Gideon for so long before trying to leave.
Arrow’s aura was different, but I had to protect myself at all costs.
“We’re here.” His tone was stiff like his posture.
“Arrow—”
“Come on so y’all can get settled. I got an errand to run, but I should be back in enough time for dinner. There are menus on the counter in the kitchen.”
I climbed out of the car but took my sweet time.
Arrow had climbed out as well but had gone straight for the bags. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched his jerky movements, wondering how I could tell him everything I was thinking without sounding crazy. He’d been open about wanting me to stay, but I couldn’t get my mouth open fast enough to say the words in my head.
Arrow left the car and went to his front door to unlock it.
“I thought you wanted me to make my list,” I whispered as Arrow walked past me.
He stopped in his tracks and turned toward me. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking, but Arrow never blinked. His hardened features softened, and he nodded.
“Right.” He chuckled. “I’m trippin’. I’ll give you a tour then head out for my errand. That should be enough time for you to make your list.”
“Okay. I need to feed him and see if he’ll take a nap.”
Arrow inclined his head forward and walked back toward his home.
When I stepped inside, I was immediately in awe. Arrow came across as a simple man, only ever wearing white or black T-shirts with black jeans and boots. However, his home spoke of a man with a creative side. Right in the foyer, there were bursts of colors.
If this was only the beginning, I couldn’t wait to see the rest.
“No shoes past this point. I keep slippers in there.” He pointed to a table on the right side of the door. “But if you want to order more girly ones, just put that on the list. You’ll have free rein over the electronics I have. Just please don’t disrespect my spot hittin’ up no old boyfriends. I’m already coming for your husband, but I’m not above leaving a trail of bodies behind you.”
He never broke eye contact, and a chill ran down my spine, but not for the reasons that made sense.
“I would never do that. Plus, my husband was my first and only boyfriend, and I’m damn sure not reaching out to him.” I scoffed.
“Mhm. Well then, we’re good.”
Arrow kicked off his boots, grabbed the bags, and led me down a long hallway.
His home was huge and an open concept once you got past the foyer. The kitchen was to the right, there was a formal dining room to the left, and straight back was a family room that looked more like a game room. My home with Gideon was bigger, but this one felt lived in… homey. The man who this home belonged to was a wild contrast of the one he presented himself to be. I smiled at the thought that Arrow was like an onion instead of one dimensional.
He had two master suites on the second level, so I took that one for me and Hendrix.
“I’ll probably take the room across from this one as his… at least until we have everything figured out.”
“Cool. The credit card is in the kitchen next to the takeout menus. My computer mirrors my cell phone, so you can create your list in the notes app. I’ll keep the app open so I don’t miss it.”
“Oh, okay. Great.”
We stared at one another for a bit, before Arrow dipped his head and left the room I’d claimed. I wanted to dwell on our conversation to his house and how he responded to it, but I had to feed my baby. Maybe it was good that I didn’t dwell because no matter how Arrow felt, I had one foot outside, and I would leave the moment the opportunity presented itself.