CHAPTER 50
Helena
For ten entire seconds, Helena simply stared at him, certain she’d heard wrong. “What?” she finally gasped.
Rafe placed a hand on her lower back and tried to lead her away from the crowd. But Helena fought him. Her heart was breaking, but she would not be escorted to a private location to spare him the embarrassment.
“Whatever you want to say to me, you can say it out here, Your Highness,” she growled.
He winced. “Please, Helena, call me Rafe. All my friends do.”
“Friends?” She laughed, but there was no humor in it. “Is that what we are? Tell me, Rafe, do you send all your friends home when they become inconvenient?”
His face stayed as calm as ever, but she saw the tiniest bit of hurt in his hazel eyes. She wouldn’t let herself care. He was the one making the choice to discard her. He deserved to feel a fraction of what she did.
“It will do neither of us any good to prolong this, and you know it,” he said softly, watching her with those calm eyes. “In the long run, it will be best for us both if you leave.”
She knew it wasn’t the same, but all Helena could hear was Michael telling her to leave Daraigh.
Michael wishing she had never woken from her curse because of how much trouble she’d caused him.
She had thought she’d moved past the pain during her time with Cap, but it turned out that Rafe could hurt her just as deeply.
More so, because she cared for him far more than she ever had Michael.
“You don’t know that,” she protested, willing a little more anger into her voice to cover its quiver. “Papa wouldn’t object to you. And if you asked him for my hand, surely the council would—”
He shook his head sadly. “I have no political capital with your council. I doubt they would forego their desires for you just to humor a young king who spent the last year living in the woods.”
“Then forget the council!” Helena pressed, burying her hands in the front of his shirt.
“They expressed their wishes for my marriage, but they can’t forbid me to marry a king.
Nor can they annul my marriage. Let me stay, Rafe.
If you tire of me, then fine; send me home.
” She poured every ounce of desperation into her eyes.
“But if you don’t, then let me marry you, and let the council jump in a lake. ”
His hand brushed her arm before wrapping around hers. “You know I can’t do that, Helena,” he said gently. “Amitié was just on the brink of civil war. There may be some who still support General Valentin over me. I cannot risk upsetting one of my neighbors until my own kingdom is more stable.”
Why did she have to fall for another stupid crown prince?
“If you could convince them to give you another year, then maybe...” Rafe continued quietly, trying to meet her eyes, but she refused to look at him.
“You are not willing to fight for the chance to be together, then?” she asked in an even voice, keeping her words quiet to maintain control. “Because the council already gave me an extension, and it passed two months ago. I strongly doubt they’ll give me another.”
“I’m sorry, Helena,” he whispered. But being sorry wasn’t enough.
She needed him to fight for her like he had fought for Amitié. But he wouldn’t, because his kingdom and the thousands of people who lived inside it were more important to him than she was.
She supposed they probably should be. But it would have been nice to be the most important thing to someone for once. Maybe if she’d been born a commoner instead of a princess, she would have been.
But she couldn’t even escape royalty when she ran away to join a bandit.
Lowering her face to hide a sniffle, she took a deep breath, then gave him a teasing smile. “You won’t even let me stay long enough to have that archery match you keep promising me?”
His lips curved a little, but it was a sad smile. “It may be a while before I have time for archery. Perhaps I’ll visit you in Ralnor someday, and you can challenge me then.”
She jabbed a finger in his chest. “I’ll hold you to that. Don’t wait too long, or I’ll decide you’re too scared to face me.”
“The only frightening thing about you is...” His whisper trailed off. Helena waited for him to finish, but he didn’t.
“I suppose I’ll see you at that time, then,” she said loftily. “Farewell, Rafe.”
It was tempting to surprise him with another kiss, but the lines had been drawn. A few hours ago, she’d still hoped that they could find a solution. That she and Rafe might have a chance.
But forcing a kiss on him now would be as bad as when she kissed Michael, because Rafe had clearly decided they would both be marrying other people.
Instead, she gave him a brief hug, spinning away before he could return it. Then fighting to keep an amused smile on her face, she sauntered back to the castle to collect her things.