Chapter 10 Dean
DEAN
Dad Company (But Good Advice)
Dean Briggs: Hey, guys. I’m new here. Just found out I’m gonna be a dad and it’s a huge surprise. I already bought a bunch of books to read, but those only go so far. Any tips for me from real dads?
Comments:
Robert Colt: Buckle up, get used to poop, and for God’s sake, be there for your partner.
Oliver Brian: Get used to putting your partner first. She’s the one going through it. Help her. Make sure she eats. Be supportive.
Dean Briggs: What if we’re not partners?
Oliver Brian: Do it anyway. You can be friends, but help her out. She’s growing a child, after all.
Dean Briggs: I’ll just . . . try to do that. Thanks, everyone.
When Grace saw me, her cheeks went so brilliantly red that I could see it from across the road.
Then she tore over to me.
“Give me that,” she hissed. I let her pull the pictures out of my hand. “Why are you holding those out in public?” She looked around wildly as if trying to make sure no one saw.
Shit. I should have known people in town didn’t know, and there I was, holding evidence like a fucking idiot.
Normally, I would have had the brain space to consider that, but I wanted to return what she’d dropped and try to talk to her again now that I wasn’t in pure shock.
It was a possibility that I would only make things worse, but I had to try.
Grace had been with another woman with brightly colored hair. She didn’t walk up, but she glared at me so strongly I thought something might fall out of the sky and crush me.
And then she pointed at me and dragged her thumb across her throat.
Her message was clear.
“What are you doing here?” Grace asked.
I pulled my thoughts away from the death threat I’d just received and turned to her. “We need to talk.”
“You could have just texted me.”
“Is this really the kind of thing we talk about over text?”
“With your reaction yesterday, I wasn’t expecting for us to talk at all.”
I frowned. “You really thought I wouldn’t reach out?”
“Yes, I did.” She said it so forcefully that it knocked the wind out of me. I wasn’t perfect, but surely, she didn’t expect that. “But you’re right. We should talk.”
Grace turned and opened the door to the Treasure Trove and walked inside. I tried to let go of any frustration and followed her. Obviously, I hadn’t taken things well. I needed to be better.
“What did you want to talk to me about?”
“You’re pregnant,” I said slowly. “Is there anything else to talk about?”
“Well, no. But I meant more like, what about it?”
“Everything, Grace. How did you find out? Is it a problem that you didn’t know until this far in? What’s the due date?”
The words came out before I could stop them. When I’d come here, I’d told myself to play cool and figure out a plan. But I knew more was on my mind.
Grace paused. “You want to know those things?”
“Yes, I do. You’re having my baby. Did you really think I would run?”
She shrugged. “It’s what you did after sex. That’s the only frame of reference I have.”
My molars clenched, but she wasn’t wrong. “We agreed it would just be a one-time thing. Did you want me to stay?”
“Two-time,” she reminded. “And I didn’t expect you to stay or anything. But you have to admit, it didn’t give me time to judge what you’d do when you found out. All I know is that you don’t want to be tied down.”
“That’s gone out the window. I’m the father, right? That means I’m a part of this.”
Grace stared at me for a long time, so long that it made me want to go over everything I’d said and done to her and try to figure out just what she had been thinking I’d do.
I had a feeling it wouldn’t make me feel any better.
“I took a test because my friend picked up on me saying I felt weird. It was positive, obviously.”
I blinked, unsure of what she meant for a moment. Then I realized she was answering one of my questions.
“And how did you feel?”
“Tired and more emotional than usual. And it had been a while since . . . you know, my time of the month.”
“You can say period in front of me, you know.”
Grace’s eyes darted to mine and her brow furrowed. “You’re not bothered by that?”
“I’m not a child.”
She did a double take, and it hit me that she’d probably thought I was exactly that.
My choice to stay away from people had always seemed like a good one, but now, staring at Grace, it hit me just how much that had backfired. Terribly.
“A-anyway,” she said. “I have more testing to go through. It’s definitely not normal to find out at sixteen weeks, but so far, everything looks normal.”
My shoulders lost some of the tension I’d carried ever since I’d found out. “That’s good, right?”
“Yes, it is. But that means this is really happening.” An awkward silence settled over both of us. “I have a lot to figure out, obviously.”
“What do you need from me?”
“I need you to figure out what you’re willing to do. I know you said you’re a part of this, but I know plenty of guys who changed their minds halfway through when things got hard. My dad was one of them.”
I opened my mouth. And then closed it. “I . . . didn’t know that,” is what I eventually settled on.
“You have time to make sure this is what you want. But if you think that at some point you’d prefer your current way of life, then walk away now. That would be easier.”
Grace met my eyes and looked at me with the same flat expression she’d had the day before. I’d only ever seen it when she was thinking about Brooke.
And what did that say about me?
“I know what I’m gonna do. I want to be a father.” I wasn’t sure why, but I needed her to believe me. I needed her to know that I wasn’t just a playboy she’d met. It was my choice not to have relationships, but that didn’t mean I was an irresponsible person.
“You might think that’s what you want, but I don’t know if you realize all that it means.” Her voice was soft as if that alone could pad the words. “So take some time to think on that. I do need to open my shop for the day, but you have my number if you need anything, right?”
“Yeah, I have it.”
“Feel free to use it,” she said, and then gestured to the door.
It was a clear dismissal. Usually, I wouldn’t mind those, but this felt unfinished.
She still didn’t believe me.
I gave her a tense nod before leaving to head back to my hotel in Knoxville.
The first time I left Strawberry Springs, I wanted to be done with the place, yet I still thought about Grace.
This time, the unfinished feeling tempted me to turn the truck around and go right back.
I didn’t like Grace thinking I was the kind of man who would leave her to handle this alone. I wasn’t.
I just didn’t want to get hurt again.
Still, I had to figure things out with my life before I could even consider dropping everything.
Clyde had only given me a day off since I’d told him I wasn’t feeling well after Grace dropped the news on me. He expected me to be there tomorrow, and I wasn’t sure if he would believe an excuse.
As I neared my hotel, I tried to parse through all the emotions in my body, but I was spinning my own wheels. I was so out of it that I didn’t notice a familiar car in the parking lot.
Nor did I notice the woman waiting at my hotel door.
“There you are,” she said. “I thought I’d have to wait here forever.”
I jumped, finally pulling myself out of my thoughts. “Mom? What are you doing here?”
“Is it not obvious?” She held out her hand and began counting off reasons. “I’ve known you’re off. Your friend, Clyde, knows you’re off. You call out of work, which you never do, and then you’re not at your hotel, which is where you told Clyde you would be. Do I need more?”
I winced. “No, but this is a long drive for you.”
“And I have my own room, but I’m not leaving until I know what the hell is happening.” She crossed her arms. Her hair had grayed over the years, but it was in the same ponytail it always had been. I rarely got to see her since I moved to Nashville, and it was nice to have her in front of me.
Her worry would quickly be replaced by anger, though.
“Come in,” I said. “We have a lot to talk about.”
When I let her in and she turned to me, I could see the dark circles under her eyes. She’d been very worried.
I wasn’t about to make it any better.
Running a hand over my face, I thought about all the times she told me to be safe. All the times she told me I couldn’t let this happen. It was tempting to hide it from her, but Mom knew me best. She was my oldest friend, the person I looked to when I messed up.
“Someone’s pregnant.”
At first, her jaw dropped, but then her whole face hardened as I braced for her to unleash on me.
“By you?” I winced and nodded. “Dammit. I told you this would—” She stopped herself, but I wasn’t sure why. “This is what you’ve been upset about for months? Wait a minute, you knew for months and didn’t tell me?” Mom’s voice was shrill, and I knew anyone in our vicinity would hear us.
I put up my hands in defense. “No, no! I just found out yesterday! The other part was . . . Well, it doesn’t matter now, does it? This is bigger.”
“No kidding, Dean. A baby? You?” She paced around the room. “Of all the things,” she muttered to herself, “it had to be a baby?”
“What, because I can’t handle that or something?” I said it before I could stop myself. I didn’t get defensive with Mom. Normally, she was right.
But not this time.
Her eyes went wide at my harsh tone. “I didn’t say that.”
“But you’re thinking it.”
“Well, based on your actions, yes. It’s what I have to go off of.”
That sent me back to the Treasure Trove when Grace had insinuated something similar.
“Goddammit,” I muttered. “Seriously?”
“Even you can admit they’ve not been great.”
“Wha—I’m not a bad person, Mom.”
She crossed her arms. “Let’s ask the women who’ve been heartbroken by you. I’m sure they’ll have a different story.”
“Hey, I always tell them what to expect. They knew!”
“Humans don’t just run from connection, Dean.
” She narrowed her eyes. “Or most of them don’t.
You can’t either. I know you’re a kind person.
I raised you to be. But then sometimes you do things .
. .” She shook her head. “Sometimes you act cold. And I wonder what you do when you’re in the mindset. Who you’ve hurt.”
“I’ve tried not to hurt anyone.”
“Has it worked?”
I blew out a breath, thinking about how I tried to end it with Grace, only for us to be tied together forever. “Obviously not. I’m working on it.”
“Working on it, huh? While the woman you got pregnant is dealing with it alone?”
“She’s not alone.”
“Oh, so her friends and family will handle it?”
“I’m handling it,” I snapped. “Me. I will.”
“You can’t do that and run.”
“Who said I was running? I have things to figure out and then . . .” I trailed off. I’d told myself Strawberry Springs was in the rearview mirror. I’d never stay there again once I got that job done with Wren. “I’ll go back for a while.”
“Back to where?”
“Back to where she is. That’s the right thing to do. I’m not completely incompetent.”
Mom stared at me, obviously trying to sniff out a lie. When she didn’t find one, she let out a breath of relief. “Oh. Thank God. I was worried I’d have to fix this for you.”
“You don’t. I’m an adult. And contrary to popular belief, I do know how to do the right thing.”
“I hope so. I raised you to be responsible and caring. Which is why I’ve been so confused these last few years. All you’ve cared about is sex and work.”
That’s what I wanted to care about, but it was a front. It was easy for me to care about someone. That was why I made the choice to leave before it happened. I wasn’t an idiot. I knew myself and how I was.
It was the pain I couldn’t take.
“Now I have more to care about,” I muttered. “I’ll handle it right after I make sure Clyde won’t kill me for missing more work.”
“I’ll handle Clyde,” she said. “You handle . . . everything else.”
“Thank you.”
“And you’re sure you’ll be able to deal with this?”
I was sure that I was doing the right thing. I was sure I could figure out how to be a dad.
There was only one thing that could go wrong.
And it had all to do with spending far too much time with the one person I couldn’t get out of my mind.