Chapter Fifteen
“Just For A Moment”
by Gryffin feat. Iselin
Lucy
Almost as soon as I get into Sushant’s car and lean over to peck him on the lips, he pulls back, his lips widening into a forced smile. Under his seat, his leg jiggles, which only happens when he’s anxious.
I frown. “What’s wrong?”
“Uh.” He scratches the base of his neck. “Change of plans. We’re not going to Gianni’s for dinner.”
My forehead crinkles in confusion. Sushant drags me to Gianni’s literally every time we go out to eat because he thinks they have the best pizza in the world. And he was talking Julien’s ear off at lunch about their Chicago-style deep-dish pepperoni.
After a beat, Sushant carefully adds, “We’re going to Café Kismat.”
“Why?” I throw my head back against the car seat and groan loudly. “Sushant, caffeine already flows through my veins instead of blood. It’s nighttime. I don’t want more coffee.”
“Yeah, but—”
“Besides, they have such a limited menu for meals. It’s a grab-a-quick-bite kind of place, not a double-date-night kind of place.”
“They…are…adding new things to the menu,” he explains, his words slow and deliberate, “and Julien hasn’t been to Café Kismat yet. I already told him, and he’s excited to see it.”
I don’t say anything. Instead, I strap on my seat belt and gesture for Sushant to start the engine.
My mind is racing as we pull out of the driveway; my thoughts are garbled and jumbled and make no sense, much like this situation.
It’s one thing for Meera to accidentally be everywhere I go; it’s a whole other thing for my boyfriend to force me to be around her.
Julien hasn’t been to Gianni’s, either, but I suppose showing him Café Kismat is more important than making him try the pizza Sushant likes to have four times a week.
However, I say none of this. I simply fold my arms and play a Spotify-recommended mix from my phone.
The first song is by Gryffin, of course.
God is out to get me. I roll my eyes, and I’m about to skip to the next song when Sushant stops me with a hand on my knee.
“Hey, nice song. Who is it by?”
“I thought music is just white noise to you,” I quip, then add, “It’s Gryffin and Iselin.”
“Gryffin—that’s Meera’s favorite artist.” He glances at me once before returning his gaze to the road. “And yours too, right? You have that ‘MSG’ playlist on our Spotify.”
It’s “MRG,” but I don’t want him to know whose initials those are, so I shrug. “He makes good music, but I’m not obsessed with him like I am with Taylor—”
“Are you excited about the double date?” he asks. His fingers tremble as their positions shift on the steering wheel. “It’ll be nice to see Natalie and Julien.”
“Yeah, it will be.” Julien. The name automatically makes me smile.
A month and a half ago, I found his personality exhausting, his words a waste of breath.
And now, he’s the one person I’ve trusted with my secret.
He’s my confidant, I realize. I’ve missed having one.
The only other confidante I’ve ever had was Meera.
Sushant quirks an eyebrow at my smile but says nothing. We get to our destination and spend five minutes finding parking because Café Kismat seems to be packed. I sigh inwardly in relief. Maybe there won’t be any tables available, and we can go to Gianni’s instead.
Unfortunately, Julien’s rental car is parked across from ours.
When we walk into Café Kismat, the scents of jasmine essential oil, coffee, and incense aren’t all that greet us; Natalie and Julien do too.
They’ve found a table for four right opposite the counter, where Meera is brewing coffee, wearing her apron over a black tank top she bought when we went shopping together years ago.
Her eyes are done up in black eyeliner today—“kajal” is what she always called it—and she’s biting down on her lower lip as she pours coffee beans into the grinder.
I tear my eyes away from her mouth just as she glances up.
“Hi!” Natalie squeals, throwing her arms around me. She’s wearing a red velvet wraparound dress and simple black flats. After we pull apart, she adds, “Our first double date!” She hasn’t seriously dated anyone since we became best friends, and it makes me grin to see her this excited about someone.
While Sushant greets Natalie, Julien leans over and pecks me on both cheeks, very French of him. It doesn’t bother me anymore. I return the gesture and notice he’s wearing a gray button-down and black pants with a red tie. “Did you match Natalie’s outfit on purpose?” I tease.
Julien beams at me. “You see right through me, Lucy.”
Sushant gestures for us to sit down, and he splays his arm around my seat, his fingers curling over my shoulder almost protectively. “What do you ladies want? Julien and I can order.”
There are two laminated one-page menus on the table already. Judging by the font and colors, it must have been made by Meera on Canva. I steal another glance at her over the top of Julien’s head. The all-black look doesn’t usually intrigue me, but on her—
“Lucy?” Sushant nudges my hand. “What do you want?”
I read out the first dish I see on the menu. “A sourdough chicken tikka sandwich sounds good.”
“It does,” he agrees, then casts a sideways look at Julien before adding, “Babe, do you want to split a rasmalai sundae for dessert?”
“Sure.”
The boys head to the long queue at the counter to place our orders, and I grin at Natalie once they’re out of earshot, making sure to lower my voice when I ask, “So? How’s it going with him?”
Natalie squeals softly and cups her head with her hands. “We finally kissed. In his car. Oh my God, Lucy, he’s so perfect for me.”
I coax her hands away from her face and squeeze them tightly. “You deserve perfect.”
“Look at this.” She shows me some pictures on her phone. The first few showcase Julien dressed in the same button-down and black pants, a grin on his face as he drives. Even with just a phone camera, Natalie’s captured the radiant glow of his dark skin and the texture of his curls.
I swipe to the next photo. This one of Natalie covering her face with one hand and reaching her other arm forward, presumably to stop Julien from taking the photo, is slightly blurry. Her soft blush and wide smile are visible underneath her fingers anyway. “This is so cute!” I gush.
She pouts. “Yeah, but he’ll go back to Paris right after prom. And then that’ll be it, unless he stays or I go.”
I’ve only dated two boys, neither of whom lived anywhere but Madre Maria, and I can’t imagine how hard it must be for Natalie when she’s already so confused about what the future holds for her. This is just another part of her life she can’t be sure of.
Before I can speak, her eyes widen. “God, remember Mr. Rao’s tarot prediction? The Star? What if meeting Julien is how I discover my destiny? Maybe I’m meant to go to Paris too!”
My smile wavers, but I try not to show it.
The Star is one of the most favorable cards in the deck, according to Mr. Rao.
And, well, I love Natalie and Julien together, but they’ve known each other less than two months.
It would be silly of her to want to uproot her life and move to France just for the sake of their budding relationship.
“Let’s see what happens,” I say, shrugging.
“Like Mr. Rao said, you’ll figure everything out soon enough. ”
Natalie nods and then turns back to study the counter, where Sushant and Julien are still third in line. “Look at all the people here,” she mumbles. “You sure made the café a success, Lucy.”
Meera walks over to take Danny’s place at the cash register. Our eyes meet before she looks ahead at the next customer. “Well, I had some help,” I say, cracking a grin.
Meera
By the time I get home from my dinner shift, about an hour after Sushant and the others finished their date, there are three messages on my phone from him. Squealing, I sit cross-legged on my bed and look at them.
Sushant (9:47 p.m.):
Just dropped Lucy home. You still working??
Sushant (10:11 p.m.):
Call me. What did you think???
The last one is from mere minutes ago.
Sushant (10:24 p.m.):
Helloooooooo?????
I grin widely and let my finger hover over the call button for a moment before I press it. He picks up within seconds. “Hey!” His voice is eager and dripping with excitement. “So? What are your thoughts, Agent Rao-George?”
I grin, cross over to the window to peel my curtains back, and spot Sushant lounging in his bed against the wall, wearing Captain America boxers and a bright yellow T-shirt.
His phone is resting beside him on the pillow, and he’s tossing and catching a baseball in his hands.
“For one, I didn’t take you for a Captain America fan, Agent Khera,” I say.
He shoots out of bed with a jerk and looks around until he spots me through his window. Eyes widening, he makes a face at me and closes his red curtains. I hear a rustle; then his voice comes through the phone, lighthearted and easy. “And I didn’t take you for a stalker.”
“I was simply enjoying the cool breeze and the view,” I reply. “It’s not my fault I have such a great view.”
Silence.
I clap my hand over my mouth. Shit. Did I…did I just say the view of Sushant in his boxers is a great view? I mean, yeah, it is, but he’s not supposed to know that. I can’t be flirting with him yet—he’s a taken man, and that’s wrong.
“I meant the pink flowers in the tree next to my window,” I hastily explain, running a finger along my curtains. “I didn’t mean anything else.”
“But what did you think?” he says, seemingly unconcerned about my slipup. “About Julien and Lucy? Did you notice anything off about them?”
I let my hand fall back to my side and purse my lips.
There were a few things I did notice. Lucy was chatty for a change.
Completely at ease, her face lit up, and not just because of her flawless makeup.
Multiple moments when she and Julien burst out laughing in tandem surface in my mind.
Not to mention the many times she looked my way and almost smiled. Almost.
She hasn’t done that in months.
The annoyance I spotted in her gaze toward Julien weeks ago? It’s not there anymore. The weird energy between them from the museum is gone too. The only thing in its place is…friendship.
“Meera?” Sushant prods. His voice is small, like he knows I’m mulling over the situation at hand.
“Yeah, um…” My mind urges me to say the words that will propel Step 4 into action. They seemed very comfortable and happy. Didn’t you think they were laughing too much? Isn’t it weird how they seem so fond of each other already?
All true but inconclusive, because this can be said about friends too. That’s how Lucy and I were before she betrayed me. And we were just friends. Obviously.
Regardless, I should let Sushant make his own conclusions. Let him think Julien and Lucy are in love. Let him think she’s a cheater. Let him loathe her the way I did—no, the way I do.
“They seem like they’ve gotten very close,” I start. I need to follow it up with something more leading, something that’ll cement doubt in his brain, no questions asked. But at the last moment, I fumble and say, “As friends.”
Sushant is quiet for a second before he exhales. Loudly. “You know, I thought the same.” The relief is evident in his voice. “I didn’t feel a romantic vibe between them. Maybe Lucy’s just warmed up to him now that he’s dating Natalie?”
My stomach flips. How can I be this bad at being a Mean Girl? “Yeah. I’m sure that’s all there is,” I assure him, biting on the side of my thumbnail. Shit. I screwed up again.
“Good night, Meera. And…thank you.”
“Of course, Sushant. Sleep tight.”
He hangs up. I head to the shower, strip off my clothes, and decide to try to drown myself in the hot water raining down upon me. Fuming, I grit my teeth and punch the tiled wall with my fist. Step 4 was in my reach. It was so close, I could touch it; I could feel it. And I failed. Again.
Why, though? Why couldn’t I just say, Yeah, they’re definitely hooking up behind your back? Lucy stole Sushant when she knew I loved him, and then she dumped me. She’s certainly capable of destroying relationships and breaking people’s hearts.
But…maybe I’m not.
And I hate myself for it.