Chapter Twenty-Nine
“All You Need To Know”
by Gryffin and SLANDER feat. Calle Lehmann
Lucy
Mom doesn’t miss the wide grin on my face over breakfast the next morning as I serve myself some bacon and pancakes. “I’m guessing winning prom queen felt great, huh?” she teases. “Sorry I didn’t stay up for you, but I saw all the photos on social media.”
I swallow a mouthful of food and nod. “It was a night to remember.” And that’s all the information she gets about last night. Mom doesn’t need to know about Meera’s beach surprise or the good-night kiss we shared at her doorstep. The mere thought sends a flutter down to the tips of my toes.
“Come on,” Mom says, slapping the air with a hand, “tell me more! I want to know everything.”
I fiddle with a bottle of maple syrup, shrugging. “You probably saw that Sushant won prom king. Seth was a nice date; he dances really well. That’s about it.”
Mom daintily sips her tea. “Winning prom queen in senior year is a big deal. I’m proud of you, Lucy. I’m sure you’ll be the talk of the town at UCLA too. You should join a sorority like I did.”
“I’d rather focus on my classes,” I reply. My phone buzzes on the counter, lighting up with a good-morning text from Meera and a kiss emoji. She must have just woken up. “Besides,” I add nervously, “I might visit every other weekend. To see Natalie, you, and…Meera.”
Her eyes snap up to mine, narrowing. “Meera?” she repeats, a forkful of whipped cream and pancake nearly at her mouth. “I thought you weren’t friends with her anymore. You haven’t mentioned her in months.”
“About that.” I push my half-empty plate away.
My stomach lurches at the thought of coming out for real.
But I don’t want to hide who I am anymore, not even from Mom.
Not just because nothing stays hidden in Madre Maria, but because…
she’s my mother, and I want her to know.
Even though I’m terrified she won’t understand.
So, with a deep breath, I let out the words, “Meera’s my girlfriend now. ”
My mother’s fork clatters onto her plate. Her mouth falls open. Her lips move, but she doesn’t speak.
“Mom,” I say, sighing. “Please don’t—”
“You mean ‘girlfriend’ like a girl who’s a friend, right?” she asks, dropping her voice low like she’s afraid someone will hear us through the bushes outside our house.
I grip the sides of my chair and hold my head up high. “I mean ‘girlfriend’ like a girl I’m in a relationship with. A girl I’m in love with.”
“Well, I never!” Mom stands up to pace around the room.
“This makes no sense! You were so happy with Sushant, and you gave up a future with him for—for—” Chest heaving, she clutches her head with her hands.
“Honey, is this because of your father? Has he…influenced you? Lord, I shouldn’t have let him into your life again—”
Red flashes before my watery eyes. “Dad has nothing to do with who I love.”
“Lucy, maybe you’re confused,” she reasons. “As a life coach, I know how normal it is for people to have rebound relationships that aren’t genuine or healthy—”
“Stop.” I grit my teeth, tasting salt water as the first tear slides down my cheek. “This is who I am, Mom, and if you can’t accept that, then I guess it’s good I’m moving out in the fall.”
She forces herself to smile, but her eyes are still wide like she hasn’t processed what I’ve said yet, and her lip is quivering. “We’ll discuss this later. I have another conference to prepare for.” She hurries back to her office, and a loud sob echoes through the room as her door slams shut.
I rest my head on the table. That went about as well as I thought it would. I’m not sure if Mom will ever come around, no matter how much she loves me, but it’s not my job to hide who I am to keep the peace with her. I know that now.
Sighing, I get up, blow my nose on a tissue, and put our dishes in the sink, running water over them. Meera’s text still needs responding to. I reply, asking if she’d like to meet up at the café later today.
Meera:
I’d love that
Lucy:
Soooo I came out to my mom just now
Meera is typing…
Meera is typing…
Meera:
WHAT!!!!
Meera:
Are you ok???
I smile through the tears clouding my vision. Yes, I text back. Or at least I will be. See you around noon?
Meera:
See you
I stretch my arms. As I start for my room, wondering how to tell Natalie and Julien everything when I see them next, the doorbell rings. Mom calls out from her office, “Can you get that, Lucy?”
“Sure!” I yell back.
Natalie is waiting for me on the doorstep. “Hey,” she says, her face pink. “I need some girl talk. Can we go to your room?”
I grin. “You have perfect timing.”
By the time I’m done narrating the beach surprise and my kiss with Meera to Natalie, her eyes have gone from narrowed, to widened, to lit up. “Oh my God!” she shrieks. “I can’t believe Meera did that for you. But are you sure she meant everything she said?”
“Yes.” I turn on my bed, lying on my side so we’re facing each other. “I really think her feelings for me are real, the way mine are for her.”
She rests her head on her hand. “If you trust her, then I trust her.”
“Thank you,” I say. Then I sit up, fluffing my pillow. “Now, what are the updates with you and the gorgeous Julien Perrin?”
Natalie burrows deeper into my bed, pulling my comforter over herself. “He rented a hotel room for us after prom,” she admits, her voice muffled from underneath the covers. “And we, um, had sex.”
“Whoa,” I say, my voice hushed. “Wasn’t it your first time?”
Her face peeks out at me. “Yes.”
“And?”
“Oh, Lucy, it was perfect.” She finally sits up, giggling. “Julien is so…experienced. I’ve fooled around with my exes before, but it’s never been like this.”
I intertwine her fingers with mine, hesitating. “He’s leaving tomorrow, right?”
Natalie wipes a tear with the back of her hand. “We’re going to try long-distance. I know we’re just two teenagers living on different sides of the world and we have our whole lives ahead of us.” Her voice quavers. “But I’ve never been loved like this before.”
My arms wind around her body in a tight embrace before she can finish that sentence.
Long-distance is a terrifying concept, one I’ve been ruminating on as well.
There are so many what-ifs and variables you can’t control.
Feelings fade. Fights happen. People grow distant.
And yet, sometimes, love can be stronger than inevitable change.
Meera will be only a three-hour drive away from me. Our love will survive it.
It’s not that simple for Natalie and Julien. Flights aren’t cheap, and time zones make relationships harder than they should be. But if anyone can do it, it’s them.
Natalie pulls away, her cheeks wet. “Maybe I could visit him in Paris over the summer. It would be so romantic. And I’m already looking up photography courses in France. Julien really thinks I have what it takes to do it for a living.”
“I think so too. Also, you’d better send me a photo of your Eiffel Tower kiss,” I say, poking her in the shoulder. “I’ll live vicariously through you.”
“Or we could do a double-date vacation,” she muses. “Meera, you, Julien, and me.”
I smile. “I’d love that. I don’t know how I’ll say goodbye to all of you in the fall.”
“It’s not ‘goodbye,’ ” she reminds me. “It’s ‘see you soon.’ ”
She’s right. No matter the distance between us, these people will always be my home, and I’ll be theirs. That’s love.
Meera
I’m distracted throughout my morning shift at Café Kismat, so much so that I mess up three drink orders. I can’t stop replaying last night in my head. The beach surprise. The walk home. The good-night kiss. God, Lucy’s lips are soft.
“You know what?” Danny snaps when I pour oat milk into someone’s Earl Grey tea order. “You’re off duty. Just take a break, enjoy your date, whatever.”
I take off my apron and toss it aside. “Why, thank you, Danny. I never pegged you for a romantic.”
He makes a face as I slip out from behind the counter.
There are only a few minutes until noon.
I frown when a thought hits me. Is this my first official date with Lucy?
Should I have brought her flowers? Offered to pick her up?
When I text them to ask for help, Ron and Valeria don’t think it’s a big deal, but to be on the safe side, I pluck a daisy from the café’s back garden and roll the stem around between my thumbs, waiting in anticipation for my girlfriend.
I’m sitting at a table right across from the door, daisy in hand, when Lucy walks in. She spots me and grins so wide, I want to squeal and kick my feet with joy. “Hi,” she says, a little breathless. “You look so pretty.”
“Really?” I tug at my black T-shirt, giving my jeans and worn-out sneakers a once-over. “I look like this every day.”
She smiles. “Exactly.”
I tuck the daisy behind her ear, and when she blushes, I hesitantly wrap my arms around her, inhaling the scent of flowers that always follows where she goes. “Did it go okay with your mom?” I whisper in her ear.
Lucy pulls away, shuffling her feet. “As well as it could have gone,” she mumbles.
“How come you decided to tell her?”
Her eyes drop to our feet—my sneakers, her pink kitten heels—and she blushes. “I didn’t want my feelings for you to be a secret any longer. From anyone.”
Those words warm me from head to toe. “I don’t want us to be a secret, either,” I admit. “But are you sure you’re ready?”
“I’m ready,” she agrees.
I look around. The café is moderately busy with our fellow classmates and a few other residents of Madre Maria scattered across the establishment.
People are deep in conversation, some laughing as they sip their coffees; others are typing away on laptops.
We would have never been able to turn the café’s fortunes around without Lucy.
My Lucy. I lean forward and brush my lips against hers, and she reciprocates, her thumb tracing a line along my cheek.
If people notice, they don’t make a big deal about it.
We pull apart seconds later, both red in the face, and head to the register hand in hand.
“Two iced ginger turmeric chai lattes, please,” Lucy says, smiling.
“On it,” Danny mumbles, ringing up the order. Then he peers at our linked fingers and adds, “Are you two, like, a thing now?”
“Yes,” Lucy says confidently, raising her chin. “In some ways, we always have been.”
Midway through our chai lattes, Appa calls us over for a tarot reading. “Putta,” he says to Lucy, his eyes crinkling, “I haven’t drawn a single card for you in months!”
She sits down cross-legged beside me and cringes. “That Tower card really scared me.”
He raises his brows, a chuckle in his next words. “Does it still scare you, though?”
Lucy’s eyes meet mine, her gaze softening. “Not anymore. You were right, Mr. Rao. Everything worked out the way it was meant to.”
I squeeze her hand. “I love you,” I say.
“I love you too.” She beams, then turns to face my dad, peering at the tarot and oracle decks. “All right, I’m ready for my first-ever couple’s reading. Mr. Rao, if you please?”