Chapter 38
MILES
After Hanna and her dad left from their surprise visit, everyone who was outside to witness it didn’t let me live it down the rest of the day.
A couple of the guys ragged on me like brothers do, while Billie came up to me later and told me she thought it was sweet how I didn’t seem to care that other people saw us.
I feel the opposite of not caring; I want people to see Hanna and I together.
I want them to see the kind of woman I somehow managed to get the honor to call mine.
I’m proud of her and everything she is and I want other people to see that.
Once they left, the rest of the day seemed to drag on forever.
Thankfully, it’s a slow day and not too many calls come in, leaving ample time for me to try and get Carter on his own.
Any time I try though, he somehow manages to rope someone into our conversation or claim he has something else he needs to do.
I can see something weighing on him almost physically.
Normally he’s the kind of guy who carries the sun in his back pocket but recently, it’s like he has nothing but a dark cloud hanging over his head.
Dark circles encase his eyes like he hasn’t been sleeping and he stands with his shoulders slumped over like he’s carrying two heavy buckets of water with him at all times.
Whatever he’s holding onto is starting to eat him alive and I feel like a helpless witness since he won’t let me in.
Day turns to night and after choosing to cook dinner for the firehouse as a means of distraction from missing Hanna but also the nagging feeling of something going on with Carter, I’m finally getting a moment to sit down and relax.
Saturday nights at the firehouse are always entertaining because someone normally picks a movie to watch in the rec room and anyone who wants to watch can come join.
Some people opt to workout or catch some rest in case we get a middle of the night call but most of us choose to hangout together and shoot the shit.
“My turn to pick!” Billie calls out, tossing herself over the couch and landing on it with ease. She clicks on the TV and opens up Netflix.
“Wasn’t it your turn to pick last week?” Trevor asks, setting himself down next to her.
“Last week and the week before that,” Brooks chirps, taking a seat in one of the oversized lounge chairs opposite the couch. I say nothing and smirk to myself as I take a seat on the floor. My eyes scan the room to look for Carter but he’s nowhere to be seen.
“Hey, have you seen Carter?” I lean over and ask Trevor.
“Last I saw he was in the gym working out. Looked kinda pissed if you ask me,” he replies with a look. My eyebrows meet in the center of my face trying to pinpoint what has him so worked up. Deciding it’s better to give him his space, I settle into my spot on the floor and lean against the couch.
“Oh, yes,” Billie exclaims, hitting play on her movie pick.
“Nooo, not The Notebook again,” Trevor groans, dropping his head behind him.
“Oh, be quiet. It’s a classic and you men could learn a lot from this movie.
Maybe not Miles; he seems to be doing just fine on his own,” she comments, reaching over and knocking my shoulder with her toes.
I turn around and smirk at her. “Plus, it was filmed right here in the lowcountry so we’re pretty much supporting the local economy which in turn supports our paychecks. So hush.”
“That’s not actually how that works,” Brooks tries to butt in but Billie shoots him a glare and violently shushes him. When she turns the volume up a few more clicks, we take it as our sign to shut up and watch.
Two hours later, the credits are rolling and I’m half asleep.
“Ugh, what a classic,” Billie sighs, wiping her eyes that are damp with tears.
“You’re ridiculous,” Brooks jests. “You act like you’ve never seen it before and you don’t know how it ends.”
“It ends exactly as you want any love story to end,” she says, her voice airy and light.
“With them dying?” Trevor deadpans.
She whacks him hard on the arm. “No, you idiot. With them together and in love!”
“But they died,” he says, sounding confused.
“Oh my god, some men are such a lost cause I swear,” she grumbles.
Taking a deep breath, I stretch my arms above my head and decide it’s probably smart to go and try and catch a few hours of sleep.
The last thing I need is to be groggy and half-alert should we get a call.
I’m hoping we’ll go the weekend without any fanfare but with the string of arson throughout the city, I’m not holding my breath.
“Alright, I’m heading to bed. Trev, be sure to check and make sure the equipment in the bay is good to go in case we get a call. I had King check the engine after dinner so that should be all set. If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the bunkroom.”
Trevor gives me a fistbump when I stand and the other two wave goodbye as I leave. When I make my way up to the bunkroom, I plug my phone into its charger and read the message that’s waiting for me.
1 New Message: Doc
Goodnight fireman. I hope you had a good day on shift.
It was nice seeing you. I’m sorry if my dad and I coming by created any issues for you.
But I’m not sorry for getting to kiss you one more time than I thought I was going to today.
I’m crossing my fingers there’s no calls overnight but if there are, please text me and let me know you’re safe. I love you, be sure to come back to me.
I smile at her message and slip my phone under my pillow. I could text her back but I don’t want her to think we’re going out on a call when we’re not. Instead, I simply reread her text several times before locking my phone and falling asleep, grateful that she’s mine.
Sometime later, I’m pulled from sleep by the wailing of the fire alarm going off throughout the station. My body starts to go into autopilot but before I get too far, I send off a quick text.
Late night call just came in. We’re heading out. I love you.
I promise to come back to you.
I don’t wait to see if she responds before tucking it into my back pocket and hurrying towards the ready racks to get dressed and head out.
Everyone on duty is filing in at the same time I am, pulling on their gear and heading for the engine to pile in.
I spot Carter coming into the room and gear up but he avoids my gaze like his life depends on it.
I don’t have time to worry about him and his problems right now—someone is in danger and it’s our job to try and help them.
Once everyone is in the truck, dispatch starts to spit out the details of what we’re heading towards.
It’s a three-alarm building fire on the edge of the city limits which is why we are being called in.
Knowing that it’s this big of a fire, we know to expect multiple other fire engines to be on site as well as EMS. King navigates the engine in the direction of the location we’re given and has us there in under ten minutes.
When we pull up, my eyes grow at the sight of the beast. The building is at least seven stories tall and it looks like the fire has spread to every level already.
I can feel the heat of it on my skin as I jump out of the truck and hold a hand up in front of my face to try and block some of it.
“Holy shit,” Carter gasps, taking in the fire as he stands next to me.
I glance at him for a moment before looking back at the burning building.
Memories and images from this past summer strike me, pulling me back to a night I’d like to forget.
But as Hanna said, sometimes it’s not about forgetting or forgiveness, it’s about learning to live with the pain you survived.
“Alright, team, we have to be smart about this one. I’m going to coordinate with the other engine leaders on site and—”
My orders are cut off when the bloodcurdling sound of a woman’s scream comes from inside the building.
Looking at it, you wouldn’t think anyone would be inside, it’s not a residential building.
It’s more of an old abandoned office space.
But sure enough, the scream rings out again, loud and clear over the cracking and whining of the building quickly being engulfed in flames.
A body flashes next to me, taking off for the entrance to the building without waiting for orders.
“Carter!” I scream at his back but he’s already gone. I turn over my shoulder and bark out orders. “Trev, you’re point.”
“Miles, this isn’t smart, you can’t just run in after him,” he tries to argue and grabs onto my jacket so I can’t get away.
“He’s my brother! I refuse to lose another brother like we did the last time!” I scream at him. Yanking my arm away, I pull my face mask down and sprint inside the building.
From what I can tell, the fire started in the back of the building but spread quickly.
The noises of the building trying to withstand the heat and fire damage flood my ears and the only thing I can hear is the wooden supports starting to splinter.
This is not good. This is very not good.
I think to myself, trying to take in the room as quickly as I can.
In the corner I spot a set of stairs and run towards them.
If Carter isn’t down here, he must have gone up.
The heat of the fire is so intense that sweat is already running down my back.
My skin feels like it’s got a red hot iron being pressed into it without any reprieve.
I try to keep my breath steady so as to not overwhelm myself as I make my way deeper into the building.
“Carter!” I scream into the noise knowing good and well that he probably can’t hear me. Black smoke fills the room making it hard to see. “Carter!”