As the World Falls

Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen

C ecilia

It’s Saturday night, and when I should be at my hotel, minding my business…I’m not.

I’m at Underground.

The place was busy tonight and filled with more energy than the last time I was here, and I was thankful for it. It would help me go unnoticed better. I was here to get my last and final proof of Labyrinth’s corruption, and that was catching my brother in the act; that way, he couldn’t deny anything. There was also another piece of the puzzle I realized, which was that Underground had to be a front for their inside work. James scheduled way too many meetings here during my time working with him, which worked out for him because I wouldn’t be there to snoop since it was outside office hours. I felt stupid for not thinking of it before. I had already witnessed them in what looked like a pretty serious conversation at this place, and if I had to guess, James and my brother were closing on a deal, not out enjoying their night at the club for the fun of it.

James didn’t strike me as someone who has fun.

I’ve concluded that my brother was one of James’s henchmen for all intents and purposes, and I was going to get him out of it if it’s the last thing I do. Which it may be, because if James sees me here…he might finally snap and take me out for good.

So tonight, I was here to do some light digging, maybe snap some pictures to throw in my brother's face—that sort of silly thing.

I was also under somewhat of a disguise in hopes of not getting caught this time. My brother was here tonight, so both he and James seeing me here would ruin my little scheme. Plus… it was a little fun to get into costume, and by the appreciative looks I was getting from the men around me as I walked through the club, I’d say it was a pretty good disguise.

I have always had wild, curly hair. I never attempted to tame it because I never had the energy. It was poofy, and the curls were tight tendrils. There was no taming it, and I also never wanted to. My hair was like my mom's, and I loved sharing that specific characteristic with her. My brother's hair was a little curly but softer and more of a wave than a curl. His hair was also light brown, whereas mine was nearly black.

Tonight though, it was pin straight and nearly down to the top of my butt. I spent three hours running a flat iron through it for the first time ever. I had too much hair to cover with a wig, and the only option after that would be to cut it, which was a hard no, so I spent a large chunk of my day frying my hair off to spy on my brother.

I did look different at first glance, so hopefully, it would pay off. My hair looked longer, being straight like this, making my face look more slim and my bone structure more prominent, which I intensified with heavy makeup that I don’t usually wear.

I was also wearing more appropriate attire this time. I wore a short teal halter-neck dress that was open at the back and tall gold heels. I even got a spray tan this morning to hide my stark paleness and have more of a glow since I was exposing more skin than I was used to.

I felt sexy. A little cold but powerful, like a secret seductive spy, which was a giant step away from being a poised librarian. I felt like the main character in one of the books I’ve read, and I can’t say it wasn’t the most thrilling thing I’ve ever done.

I go to the bar first and get a drink, taking a quick sip to try to calm my bouncing nerves. I had an unsettling amount of confidence in myself tonight. Maybe it was the costume, or maybe it was the effect James had on me recently. Either way, it was a little too addictive, and I had a faint voice in my head telling me to stop while I was ahead, but I shut it out the minute it spoke to me.

I was on a mission, and it wasn’t just to save my brother anymore. It was me, too. He was starting to make me feel in ways I couldn’t distinguish. I despised him. He was the epitome of a man that I didn’t want anywhere near my family and was determined to expose but at the same time…He made me feel warmth in ways I’ve never experienced. He took the breath right out of me most days, an effect no one has ever had on me. He made me feel tense and needy for things I didn’t dare put a second thought to. I didn’t want to figure out what he was doing to me. I just knew it wasn’t normal, yet I didn’t hate how he made me feel, which made me despise him even more because he wasn’t supposed to make me feel anything.

It was all supposed to be black and white. He was bad, and I wasn’t—bottom line. But now our bad and good felt like they were mixing lately, and I couldn’t help but like the medium we were reaching even if I knew it was very, very bad in the grand scheme of things.

I walk up the stairs, deciding that my best chance is to go to the spot in the corner that I saw James and my brother occupying last time. When I reach the top stair, my gaze is immediately snagged on James’s icy blonde hair in the last corner booth, just as I suspected. My brother was sitting next to him, looking like a bodyguard. It was so strange to see him in this scene. He fit in well, and I didn’t like how that sat with me.

I move through the crowd, dancing to the music as I sip my drink, pretending to be a careless passerby. I linger by their table, leaning onto the nearby railing that overlooks the dance floor below. I turn to my side, bobbing my head and sipping my drink as I try to keep an ear open to their conversation.

There was one other man at the table with them. He was handsome in a bulky, macho way, and upon listening closer, I overheard them calling him Udovich.

“Mayor Fireux has been on my ass over this lately. It would be best if you lay low for a while with things,” Udovich says.

“Chuck’s all talk. He can’t do anything to me even if he had the police force backing him. Let me handle him. You keep doing what I pay you to do,” James says.

“He keeps calling like some stalker, asking for my support,” Udovich snickers.

Tobias chuckles. “Can you imagine? The mayor begging for partnership with his own Sheriff.”

James smirks at their remarks, sipping his glass of what I guessed was whiskey. “It’s my favorite part. He has to stoop so low to get some leverage.”

Udovich grins. “He’ll never get it, and I’ll make sure the rest of my guys remain on board.”

James smiles now at that. “Perfect. That’s all I wanted to know.”

“I’ll ensure no more of them get sent your way again. Everyone’s been briefed on the harassment calls.”

Tobias smirks evilly now, making my stomach somersault. “I think it’s safe to say we also handled our little anonymous caller very thoroughly. So, we should be in the clear.”

“All’s well and ends well,” James says, rising from the table. I spin around as he does, facing the dance floor again, and grip the railing like a lifeline. My legs were shaking, and I felt like if I let go, I would lose control. James and Tobias were clearly working with the city sheriff, and the way Tobias spoke…he sounded so dark and comically cynical. It was shocking, and I was pretty sure they were referring to hurting someone earlier. My own brother…

I was so shocked by everything I heard that I didn’t even think of taking pictures or a video recording.

Nausea churns in my stomach, and I push off the railing and race back downstairs, stopping at the bar once more, where I asked for the coldest glass of water. I chug it, letting the coolness soothe my shaking insides. I need to get it together. I suspected all this criminal activity. I’m not clutching my pearls surprised by what I heard, but it’s the way I heard my brother so nonchalantly involved in it all for the first time that threw me for a little loop.

I finish the rest of my water and lift my straight hair over my shoulder to get some air onto my back. I felt like I was a million degrees now. I turn around and spot James and my brother walking down the stairs together in conversation, and I decide to make myself scarce and blend into the crowd in the middle of the dance floor. I sashay through the swarm of people and begin mingling with everyone around me, moving to the beat of the music. After a minute, I’m not trying as hard to be inconspicuous, and I actually start to enjoy myself. There were two other girls at my side dancing, and they gave me appreciative smiles as I danced next to them. I found a laugh bubbling out of me as I stayed near them, dancing, feeling like they were a safe space. They were very obviously drunk, and one of them grabbed my hand, spinning me around as the other yelled salacious compliments. A moment after she spins me, I trip on my own clumsy feet, and I stumble backward, my back falling into what feels like a hard wall.

I still, looking over my shoulder, the smile dropping from my face in world record, when I see James staring down at me, his eyes fiery and his jaw clenched tight. His hands coast around my waist, holding my back against his chest as he drops his head to the crook of my neck, where his mouth falls in line with my ear. The movement sent shivers down my spine, and although I was a little scared shitless right now, I was secretly enjoying his embrace that was almost too tight for comfort.

“Did you think I wouldn’t recognize you, little owl?” he whispers in my ear, and the blood drains from my body, leaving me so damn cold.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I rush out, trying to break free from his grasp, but he only tightens it, jerking me harder against him.

“Don’t fuck with me, babe. Do you honestly think I wouldn’t see your face? Your eyes? And not know it’s you?”

I stopped fighting, his words rushing through me like an unexpected tidal wave. He had a way of saying mediocre things but making them sound much more profound, which always left me absolutely confused about how he really felt.

I turn around in his arms, his hands gliding around my waist and settling on my back like a hot brand. I look up at him, and his furious eyes snap to mine as he sucks in a breath, his jaw clenching again in the way that it does that I hate to say I’ve come to find irrationally attractive.

“Fine. You caught me.”

The corner of his mouth lifted ever so slightly. “It seems I have. What are you doing here, and why are you dressed like this?”

“I suppose there’s no point in lying to you?” His smirk grows as he shakes his head once. “I came to do what I’ve been doing all along,” I admit.

“And did you gather anything of substance?” I nod, smirking back despite feeling off balance because his hands drift slightly lower down my back, and I’m closer to him than I was a second ago. When did that happen?

“I know that you’re selling under the table and that you’re paying the sheriff off to turn a blind eye.” His smirk drops as his gaze roams my face like he was surprised by the tidbit of information I picked up tonight. My smile grows now, feeling devilish. “Your little labyrinth isn’t so hard to figure out, James.”

He jerked me against him, plastering my chest against his and stealing the breath from my lungs because it was too close. His scent wrapped around me with the heat of his arms, and I was beginning to falter under the depth of his gaze. “I’m impressed, little owl. I can’t wait to learn how you use it all against me.”

I narrow my eyes at him. “Aren’t you scared of what I can do to you?”

His fingers trail up my spine. So. Slowly. I fight the hiss of pleasure that wants to escape me as his hand curls around the back of my neck, grasping it to keep my eyes on his. “I’m starting to be,” he says lowly, his gaze now locking onto my mouth. There he goes again, saying things that feel so much deeper than he probably intends them to be.

I breathe quicker now as he holds me, staring at my mouth. It was like a magnetic force was pulling me to close the distance between us, no matter how catastrophic doing so might be. It was a horrible idea, but I was standing here with him, both of us in the middle of the dance floor, surrounded by moving bodies, and it was like we were in our own world. That’s what being with him felt like. All consuming.

“Are you scared?” he asks, not taking his gaze off my lips.

“Of what?” I breathe out.

“The way you breathe around me. The way your skin heats, and you have to ball your hands into fists to keep yourself grounded. The way you can’t keep your eyes off me despite telling yourself you hate what you see.” I’m starting to shake now, and for some reason, my hands fly to his shirt at his stomach, gripping it tight to keep myself from falling over. I was so hot, damn it. He grins and leans in closer, making me suck in a breath when I feel his lips barely brush over mine but never connect. “I want to know if you’re scared of the way I make you feel so fucking alive, unlike anyone or anything ever has before.”

I feel my hands pull him closer, if that’s even possible, and his hands curl to cup my face now as he stares down at me, his eyes burning as I hold onto him, not wanting him to ever let go of me. His eyes go half-lidded, and I close my eyes just as I feel his lips softly kiss the corner of my mouth, making me crave the real thing with every fiber of my being.

“James,” I plead.

“Fuck,” he growls. “I love when you say my name like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like I’m your savior and not your ruin.”

“I won’t let you ruin me,” I say pridefully.

He smirked at that and leaned in, dropping his mouth to my ear again. “If you let me ruin you, Cecilia, you would beg me to do it over and over and over again.”

He says it agonizingly slow, and desire shoots through me, making me feel desperate for more of him. I hated it, yet I couldn’t let go of him. I…needed him. So badly.

Instead, I force myself to let go, and I dart through the crowd of people in an attempt to get away from him. I didn’t trust myself around him anymore. But I knew I wouldn’t get away. I could feel him stalking behind me, following me every step of the way until I burst through the entry doors and cool night air whips against my heated skin.

“You shouldn’t say things like that to me,” I say, knowing he’s right behind me. Then I feel him there—at my back, his hands snaking around my waist and making me fall deeper into his chest, his body, his deception.

It was just us outside. It was quiet except for the faint music coming from inside. It was so dark and still. All I could feel was him.

“I shouldn’t,” he agrees. “But fucking hell, babe, I can’t help myself.”

“Yes, you can,” I argue.

“No,” he bites out, turning me to face him now. I try not to look him in the eyes. I couldn’t. But he forces me to. He grabs my jaw and turns my face up to his, making my eyes snap to meet his, and it kills me.

Hunger. Want. Need. It was so evident in his gaze that I started to tremble with all the same emotions, but the biggest one I felt was regret. Why did I feel like I betrayed him suddenly? Why did I feel so drawn to him? None of this was fair.

“You’ve driven me insane since the moment I met you, and yet, I wouldn’t have it any other way,” he tells me.

I shake my head. “You don’t know what you’re saying. I know this is all just some big game to you.”

“It’s not,” he snaps. “You know deep down it’s not.” I take a step away from him, back toward the club. I needed to get away. Why was he saying these things to me? Why now?

“Cecilia,” he calls after me, but I ignore him. I charge toward the doors. My only mission now is to get inside and find my brother so he can take me away from this place.

I feel his hand wrap around mine and pull me back. I spin around violently, ripping my hand from his as my crazed expression meets his. His gaze eats me alive. He looked at me like he was going to devour me whole and that he’d make sure I enjoyed every single second of it. God, I knew I would.

I swing my hand out in an attempt to slap his beautiful face or shield myself from it. I don’t know, but he catches it before I can decide. He jerks me to him now that he’s latched onto me again, and the second our chests collide, it knocks all sense from me.

My hands tangle around his neck, and I crash my mouth onto his. Everything inside me lights up like a million little firecrackers, and he groans into my mouth, deepening the burn inside me.

His fingertips claw into my hair as he holds both sides of my face. Our feet move us backward until my back slams against the brick of the building. He tears his mouth away for a single breath before he kisses me again. His lips taste like warm whiskey, and his chest is so hot against mine, plastering me to the wall and leaving me to his complete mercy.

His hands slide down the sides of my body, causing a moan to escape me. Being touched like this by him felt like a fever spreading over every inch of my body. Hot and uncontrollable. I needed him everywhere.

“James,” I whimper.

His hands tighten on my dress as he growls out, “Fuck.” Then he’s gone. And I’m so cold.

He takes a step back from me, his eyes burning into me like he couldn’t bear to take them off. But then he takes another step back. “We can’t…” he mutters, his voice so low that I almost don’t hear it. But I do. I know I do because something feels like it cracks inside me, and a sharp ache, unlike anything I’ve ever felt, splits through me.

Tears fill my eyes, but I don’t let them fall. I keep a perfectly trained face as I stand straight, never breaking eye contact with him. “I never want to see you again,” I manage to say, the savagery in my voice more potent than ever.

He shuts his mouth, his jaw grinding together as he stares back at me. The club's entry doors slam open, and Tobias walks outside, his head turning in each direction until it lands on us.

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you, man. I thought you left,” Tobias says. He clearly hasn’t recognized it was me yet, but then he glances at me once, looks at James again, and then his head swings back toward me a split second later, his eyes wide and monstrous. “Cecilia? What the…What the hell are you doing here? Why are you…Your hair…What the fuck are you wearing? Why are you?—”

“You’re going to give yourself an aneurysm,” I cut him off finally.

He growls like a literal animal in frustration. “What are you doing here?” he asks again more calmly—only just a little.

“I think I’ll go,” James says lowly, sparing me one more glance before heading back inside Underground. I laugh incredulously as I watch him go. Yup. Leave all the explanations to me. Asshole.

I look back at Tobias, who is fuming and staring at me like a parent who just caught his teenage daughter out partying. “Explain. Now,” he snaps.

I don’t think I can lie my way out of this anymore. “I’ve been working as James’s assistant,” I mutter.

He looked as if he heard me tell him I was becoming a nun and partaking in an orgy at the same time. “Come again?”

I clear my throat. “I was curious about what you did and…slightly worried, so James offered me a job as his assistant to get an idea of your day-to-day life.”

“Oh, he did, did he?” he barks out, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Yup. I’m not sure where his generosity came from, so maybe take that up with him, but you can chalk me up to being a curious cat.”

“A curious cat?” he chuckles morbidly. “Cecilia, when is this going to end? You’ve officially surpassed worried sister and crashed straight into crazy town.”

I look up at him, scowling. “When you stop lying to me.”

He scoffs, tearing his gaze away. “I can’t believe you got James to let you follow him around. He must think you're certifiable.”

“He’s the one that’s certifiable,” I shoot back. “And I can’t believe you’re still lying to me when I’ve been right all along.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

I walk toward him, my anger and hurt simmering, ready to spill over. I was so done with all of this. “I know James is doing business on the illegal market. I know he’s laundering the money. I know he’s paying off the NYPD and working closely with the sheriff to get away with it while you help him do it. I know everything, Tobias.”

He lets out a sharp breath, his eyes wide and pained as he stares back at me. My tears finally spill, running down my cheeks, but I keep a straight face as we stare each other down.

“Lia, I?—”

“No,” I cry out, my voice stark in the silence of the night. “You made me feel like I was crazy. You put me down for worrying about you when I was right all along. Your boss, James, is a monster. He paraded me around, hoping I wouldn’t figure it out, but I did. He will pay for what he’s done, and in the meantime, you can come home.”

Tobias’s brows scrunch together as he steps toward me and lowers his voice. “What do you mean he’s going to pay for what he’s done?”

I shrug. “Exactly that. He’s not going to get away with it anymore.”

“Lia, what did you do?” he asks gravely, sending a tiny sliver of fear through me.

“I did what I had to do,” I fight back. I had to do it. James was starting to muddy my plans with his hands, eyes, and sarcastic charm that I hate to say he wears so well. I needed to remember he was a stone-cold criminal who was ruining my brother’s life and nothing else. I was getting too close to seeing him as a real person and suspecting there were feelings under there despite his denial of them, and I didn’t want that. I didn’t want to become emotional over this or get my own feelings involved, and it was starting to happen. Even if it was just a physical thing between us, I couldn’t deny that there was something more there that shouldn’t be, and that was why I needed to remember that I did the right thing.

Even if it now feels like I made the biggest mistake of my life.

Tobias’s hands shoot out, grabbing my shoulders as his fearful eyes meet mine. The act makes my heart thunder in my chest. “Lia, tell me exactly what you’ve done.”

“You’re scaring me,” I rush out, trying to step away from him.

“You’re scaring me ,” he counters. “You have no idea what you’re getting involved in. I need you to tell me what you’ve done.”

I swallow hard, feelings of shame slamming into me like a horrible car accident. “I…I met someone who said they could help. He said if I found proof of Labyrinth’s or James's, specifically, illegal activity, he would help me, help you. That you would walk away untouched while James took the hit.”

“Who? Who was it?”

I bite my lip before muttering, “Hodge Wiseman.”

Tobias let go of me like he was in a daze of shock. “Tell me you didn’t give him anything. Tell me you have no proof.”

“Tobias, of course I did. I don’t want you involved with these people. They’re criminals.”

“Fuckin A, Cecilia. You have no idea what you’ve done. What was it? What proof did you give him?”

The realization didn’t hit me until right this second that I stole from my brother. That the ledger I found was in his car, under his protection. He’s been looking for it, and I don’t know what he’ll do when I tell him I was the one who took it, that I lied to him and gave it to Hodge.

I let out a shaky breath as I met his angry gaze again. “I found his ledger. In your car the night of the launch event.”

It’s like the life leaves his body. “Tell me you didn’t.”

“I took it, and after I realized James was just stringing me along for the fun of it, I met with Hodge yesterday, and I gave him the ledger.”

Tobias rakes a hand through his hair, his eyes bouncing back and forth like he is wracking his brain for a solution. I hate seeing him so stressed, but he is free now. Hodge said he’ll make sure of it.

“Tobias, you can walk away from all of this now. You can?—”

“Lia shut up. Fuck, for once, can you just shut up for a second so I can figure this out.” I rear back in shock at his tone but can’t bring myself to say anything. He looked so hurt because of me. “You are stupid if you believe he’s still going to help you now that he’s gotten what he wanted. Fuck Lia, do you know what names are in that ledger? How many people are going to— Fuck.”

“He said he would?—”

“Screw what he said! He’s a fucking snake. He’s working for the mayor, who has a vendetta against James. He doesn’t give a fuck about you or me. He will let me go down with James if it means James goes down. But that’s not my concern right now. My concern is the people in that ledger that you fucked over.”

“What people?” I ask nervously. He looked at me, his disdain evident in his eyes. I had never seen him look at me this way before, and it was painful.

“Since you think you know everything, do you, by chance, know of the Costra Nosa? Did that ever come up?”

I scrunch up my nose. “Costra Nosa? Isn’t that the?—”

“The mother fucking mafia, Lia. The mafia that James used to be a part of, and his brother currently is.”

Is it possible for everything inside you to stop? Like your organs, your heart, stop? Because that’s what feels like happens to me. Everything stops, and dread takes over entirely.

“What…what are you saying to me right now?”

“I’m saying, not only did you fuck James over, but you fucked over the mafia too.”