Chapter 33
Chapter Thirty-Three
C ecilia
Loud noises wake me, and I sit up in bed, seeing nothing but darkness. I’ve spent the entire day in bed. After everything that had happened between James and me yesterday, I couldn’t bring myself to leave my room out of fear of seeing him.
Out of fear of realizing what I already knew deep down.
I didn’t just have feelings for him. I was heart-shatteringly and irrationally in love with him. Being in his arms yesterday, so exposed and vulnerable, I had never felt so alive and seen by someone. I had never wanted something or someone so badly in my life. I never needed someone like I was starting to need him.
I craved being around him all the time. I always wanted to know what he was thinking and why he thought the way he did. I wanted to know his life story and how he became who he was. I wanted to give him all the love that he failed to be given by his own father.
But I was scared.
I glance at the clock on my nightstand and see that it’s only eleven at night. I heard the noises again and realized it was people talking and it was coming from outside. I looked over to my window, almost too scared to see, but the curtains were drawn wide open because I liked looking out into the maze.
I swallow back my anxiety, step out of bed, and look outside. It’s dark, but I can see the patio lit up with lanterns and James and someone else I don’t recognize sitting at one of the tables. I’m instantly wide awake and alert when I see several banded stacks of cash on the table, black velvet boxes, and a gun on the table beside the stranger. It was perched on the edge, ready to be grabbed and aimed straight at James should things escalate.
My heart picks up speed, and I glance back at James, who looks slouched and relaxed in his chair. The man across from him is rambling something I can’t make out, so I quietly open the window to hear better.
A soft breeze blows my hair back as I slide the window open, but I still can’t fully hear what they say. I can only hear words like deal , public , and armed— all words that don’t necessarily give me a good feeling. But I see James’s one hand resting on his thigh, balling into a fist, and I know something is instantly wrong.
The guy in front of him won’t stop talking, and then he pulls what looks like photographs from inside his suit jacket pocket and sets them down on the table in front of James. I can’t make them out, but James only looks down at them briefly before looking back at the man across from him, who is smirking a little too smugly for my comfort.
I feel like I know it’s going to happen before it does. I knew James well enough now to see all the signs of his building anger, but I was still shocked when he flipped the table between them, sending the man's gun flying into the hedges surrounding them, and lunges for him.
The stranger doesn’t get a chance to stand or fight back before James’s hand wraps around his throat and squeezes as he pulls something out from his pocket. I can’t see what it is or what he’s doing with it because his body is blocking everything from my line of sight, but then the man starts screaming in agony, his legs shaking violently as he tries to push James off of him to no avail. My chest hurts as I watch the scene play out, but I can’t bring myself to stop it. I watch cowardly as the man writhes in pain as James uses every ounce of strength to torture him.
Suddenly, things go quiet. James stands up, breathing heavily as his right hand drops to his side, and I see the switchblade dripping blood in his hand. My stomach rolls, and my hand flies to my mouth to stifle any noise, but when James steps aside, I’m met with the sight of the man sitting in the chair, rivers of blood running down his face from his now empty eye sockets. My gaze seems to find his eyeballs on their own, plopped onto the ground between them.
A shocked scream rips out of me, and James turns around, his head lifting until his eyes find mine. My hands are bracing the edge of the window, not realizing I’m hanging outside as I stare down at him. He doesn’t say anything. Doesn’t react quickly to hide what he’s done. He just stares at me, wickedly shameless.
I rip my gaze from him, slamming and locking the window shut. I snatch the curtains closed and run to the bathroom, shutting myself inside and bracing myself on the bathroom sink. I stare at myself, my heart finally reaching a normal pace. And then…I’m okay.
Why was I okay?
I should be hiding. Screaming. Throwing up or calling the cops. Instead, I splash my face with cold water and take a deep breath.
I step out of the bathroom and stop when I see James leaning against the doorframe of my bedroom door.
“Did I wake you?” he asks. He’s wiping the switchblade off with a handkerchief with pure ease, like he didn’t just commit a violent act that shook me to my core.
I grind my teeth together. “You did, actually.”
The corner of his mouth lifts. “My apologies, little owl. I had a late meeting tonight.”
I fight to keep my breath steady as I try to remain calm. “Looks like it didn’t end well.”
He shakes his head. “It did not. He’s alive, though, in case you were wondering. Just passed out from the pain.”
That fact did make me feel slightly better, but I wouldn’t let him know that. “It doesn’t matter to me. You’re a monster either way.”
He tilts his head as he looks at me, stepping further into the room. “Just like that? You don’t care to know why I did what I did?”
“It doesn’t change anything. Only sick and cruel people do what you do.”
He smiles at me like he finds me fascinating, but not in a good way. His eyes study me like I am the abnormal one, and I hate the way it makes me feel.
“Your world is so black and white,” he murmurs. “How sad you refuse to see the color behind your judgment.”
His words feel like a slap in the face.
“I’d like to go to bed, if you don’t mind,” I rush out, gesturing him to the door.
He presses his lips together in a flat smile as he steps back toward the door. “Goodnight, Cecilia.”
I don’t respond. I stand still and watch him shut the door. I stand and feel my heart battle my ribcage to be free and follow him.
I woke up early the next day, hoping to get ready and leave for work without running into James again. He’d mentioned working from home for a while, but hopefully, that means he’ll be in his office, and I can slip out of the house without any awkward eye-gouging run-ins.
It was not good that I could joke about these instances. The only thing that scared me now was how much I wasn’t scared of James anymore.
As soon as I walked down the stairs, I realized I had already failed at my task when I saw him in the living room. He was on the phone, so I tried to breeze by him and make my way out without bothering him.
“Cecilia,” he calls out, and I freeze, slowly turning to face him.
“I have to get to work, so if I could just?—”
“This will only take a second,” he says, putting his phone back into his pocket. “I just wanted to update you on the security for tomorrow night.”
“Tomorrow night?”
“Yes. Your brother and I will be away in the city for an event, so you’ll have more than one guard with you. You will be dropped off and picked up from work. There will be no stops. You will come straight home.”
“Jeez, it is like a prison,” I mumble.
He tilts his head, his eyes slicing into me. “This isn’t funny, Cecilia. If anything is out of the ordinary, call your guard, and then call me.”
I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. He definitely knew how to make me anxious about stuff, that’s for sure. “My guard?”
“You remember Marco, right?” he asks as Marco walks in behind me, making me jump at his abrupt presence.
“Ah, yes, from the day you arrested me.”
“He’ll be with you at all times.”
“I hardly think I need a guard while I’m working.”
“This is non-negotiable, Cecilia. Can you, for once in your life, do as you’re told?”
I flinch, taken aback by his attitude. “You know, if you’re just trying to punish me for not wanting to be with you, come out and say it. This dickhead behavior isn’t going to get you anywhere, especially after last night.”
He scoffs, shaking his head. “Just like you to think I’m being a dick for wanting to keep you safe.” His eyes cut to me again, making me feel like a hand was gripping my heart and squeezing painfully. “I’m always the villain, aren’t I?”
“That’s not what?—”
“James, is this good enough, or shall I wear the red dress?” A woman’s voice chimes behind me. James’s eyes look past me, softening in a way that instantly makes me stand up straighter and look behind me.
A woman I don’t recognize strolls into the room with us, showing off her tall, curvy body clad in a tight black dress that gets wider at the bottom. Her breasts are pushed up and fully on display. I had no idea who she was, but she was gorgeous. Her skin is tan, and her voice has a silky Italian accent. Her hair is long and pin-straight down her back.
She bites her lip seductively as she awaits his answer, and although I don’t know her, I hate her.
“It’s lovely,” he tells her. “Wear the black.”
“Perfect. The red one wasn’t nearly sexy enough.” She giggles and struts back into the downstairs bathroom, I’m assuming to change. I was hoping it was to change.
I look back at James, feeling a burning, hot, angry feeling inside me that was foreign to me. “Uhm, who was that, and why was she dressed…like that?”
His jaw tightens as he looks back at me. “She’s my date tomorrow night. I wanted to make sure she looked the part.”
“Oh,” I squeak. “She looked fancy.”
“It’s a ball.”
“A ball…that’s fun.”
“It’s work,” he gripes. “Speaking of, shouldn’t you be going? Marco will escort you out.”
I didn’t want to leave now. I wanted to stay and see what he and Miss Fancy Big Tit Dress were going to do when I left. Were they a thing? She was beautiful with her dark hair and equally dark eyes. She looked like she worked out, too. I wasn’t out of shape or anything, but I was definitely not that toned, that’s for sure.
I hated how threatened I felt over a pretty girl with a pretty body. That’s what he’s reduced me to. A jealous maniac hating on a woman who I’m sure is perfectly nice.
Oh god, what if they have sex when I leave? Would he do that? Just jump into bed with someone else because I wouldn’t be with him. I didn’t know, but I felt sick at the thought. I felt sick as he turned his back on me once again and headed upstairs, leaving me standing alone.
Was he going to wait up there for her?
Jealousy flames inside me as I think about him touching her in all the ways he’s touched me. No one has ever touched me the way he did. No man has ever made me orgasm before, let alone got me there in a matter of minutes.
The idea of him doing that to her made me want to throw up.
I let Marco take me to work today. I was going to drive myself, but after my morning, I couldn’t focus on anything other than wondering what James was doing this second.
I go through my work day in a haze, and to top it off, Lance called off right before he was supposed to come in. I didn’t blame him, though. I could understand why he was upset. But now that meant I had double the workload tonight. I guess I needed it, though. I needed to do something to keep my mind off my heart, which felt like it had been aching all day.
I finally get the library closed after a long night and walk outside, closing and locking the doors behind me. My eyes land on a small envelope taped to the door, my name written in gold font on the black envelope.
I pull it off the door and flip it over, seeing a fancy wax seal on the other side. I pull it open and pull out the sleek black invite, which shows the details of the New York City Annual Masquerade Ball.
Was this the ball James was going to? If so, why would I get an invite if he already planned on Marco taking me straight home while he was there?
Unless…he decided he wanted me to go. Could it have been him who left this for me? I wasn’t sure, but my chest swelled at the idea that maybe he was choosing me over the black dress girl. Even if I made it that we couldn’t be together, I still couldn’t stay away. He was an addiction I couldn’t beat.
I feel a presence behind me, and I spin around quickly, exhaling in relief when I see it's just Marco. “Are you ready to go, ma’am?” he asks as he approaches.
I hold the invite close to my chest. “Yup. Let’s go.”
He narrows his gaze at me. “Is everything all right?” His eyes fall suspiciously on the invite in my hand, and I quickly shove it into my purse.
“Yeah, just a flyer someone left on the door.” I walked down the stairs past him, headed to his car without another word, and got into the back seat.
When I returned home, the house was quiet, and upon inspection, I realized James wasn’t there. I guessed he was probably staying at his city apartment tonight, and the thought did nothing to ease my spiraling mind. Was he trying to put distance between us? Or was he out with that woman? Either way, I hated it even though I knew it was for the best.
I hear the refrigerator door shut, and I go downstairs to follow the noise. I spot Marco with a bottle of water leaning against the kitchen island. I observe him and then glance behind me through the house that leads to the back patio. “Can I ask you something?” I probe, looking back at him.
“You can, but I might not have an answer,” he replies gruffly.
I smirk, pressing my lips together. “You know who James really is, don’t you?” He doesn’t answer me. He glares and takes another drink of his water. I smile again. “I know you do. His security would have to be briefed on any potential threat, meaning you need all information about him.”
“Is that your question?” he asks.
I shake my head. “I want to know who that man was here last night.”
“What man?”
“I know you know. James would have all security on deck when bringing someone here while I was. Who was he, and why did James do…what he did to him?”
Marco closes the lid on his water and walks past me out of the kitchen. “I’m not at liberty to say.”
I chase after him, not letting him off the hook. “Was he a bad person? He had to have done something bad for James to do that, right?”
Marco stops in the hallway and faces me, his eyes scanning my face. “Why do you want to know so bad? He’s just your brother’s boss, right?”
I shrug. “And his best friend.”
“Still shouldn’t matter so much.”
I sigh and stare down at my feet, unable to face him. “I just… I need to know he’s not all bad. I need to know there’s a reason that I—” I couldn’t say it. Couldn’t admit out loud that I loved him. What kind of person would that make me? I was scared to find out.
Marco smirks and walks past me again. I stand frozen where I’m at when he stops and gestures with his head for me to follow him. I move, following behind until we stop at a room at the end of the hall across from the gym. He unlocks the door with a key, and I’m met with what looks to be a security room. There were dozens of screens showing every inch of the property, including where a few other security details were based. Marco walked to the desk inside, pulled out a file, and handed it to me.
“What’s this?”
“It’s a file that you found on your own after picking the lock on the door,” he replies sternly. “I was warned how nosey you were.”
I can’t help but grin as I open the file and read the name Flavio Amato. I realized he was someone from Dante’s family who was public enemy number one. A small white envelope was attached to the file, and I glanced at Marco before opening it. “Do you know what’s inside here?”
He presses his lips together in indifference. “We were instructed not to look inside.”
“Great. That totally makes this way less daunting,” I say as I pull out the envelope. I carefully peeled it open and realized it was a small stack of photographs. I realize this must have been what he showed James last night before he lost his ever-loving mind, and I pull one out to finally see what was pictured on it, but when I do, my blood runs cold.
I flip through each photograph, my hands shaking as I look at James and myself on the patio, kissing each other, his hand up my dress, my breasts exposed. Pictures of me with my head thrown back in pleasure and James’s hands on me everywhere. Such an intimate moment, captured and made into something dirty.
I swallow the nausea rising in my throat as I slide the pictures back inside and mindlessly hand Marco the entire file back. He gently takes it from me and puts it away before pausing and looking back at me. “Are you alright?”
“Do you know what those pictures were?” I ask slowly.
“We were told not to look.”
“Yes, but do you know what they are?”
He pauses again, then nods his head. “We were briefed on the situation. It seems that James is being watched closely by some dangerous people.”
I wasn’t dumb, or maybe I was getting a little too used to this lifestyle. “He tried to blackmail James, didn’t he?” Marco nods his head again, and I find myself nodding along. “Why did you show me this?” I finally ask, meeting his gaze. “You could be fired.”
“I’ve been watching you for a while now. I have two daughters. I wouldn’t want them to feel the way you do.”
“And how is it I feel?”
“Crazy. For seeing the good in someone who is bad on paper but loving them anyway. You wouldn’t see it if it wasn’t there. I promise you that.”
I press my hand to my eyes, hoping the pressure eases off the building tears. “I think I’m going to go to bed,” I murmur, ignoring what he said and pretending it didn’t feel like a stupid cupid’s arrow in my chest.
He nods understandably and thankfully doesn’t press the issue. “Goodnight. Let me know if you need anything.”
“Thanks,” I mutter before traipsing back to my room. I lay flat on my back in bed, staring up at the ceiling, willing my heart to feel any other way than it did right now.