Chapter Twenty-Nine
Emmet
I can hardly think after that orgasm. I’m panting, my body covered in sweat, my hole aching in the best way possible. It’s been years since anything has been inside me.
I tried it myself a few times, but it was never the same, and so it was unsuccessful. That touch was always meant to be his.
Adam crawls up to lay beside me, but I pull on his arm so he falls onto me. His weight is welcome, our bodies stuck together from the sweat.
“Fuck my face.”
His eyes go wide, but then he smirks.
I know he’s hard. I know he wants to come. I won’t let him walk away from this without getting a release. This isn’t an apology, and if it was, I don’t fucking want it. I just want him. Like this. Clear-headed. Honest. Real.
We were always real with one another, up until the very end when things got… messy.
Adam gets to his feet and takes his clothes off. I watch eagerly, my mouth watering and my dick getting hard all over again.
He always was beautiful—a feminine male body.
With clothes on, he looks like your average in-shape guy. But when he’s naked, you see all his beauty. The narrow waist, the full hips, the thick thighs. His skin is flawless, soft, nearly hairless and so fucking kissable.
“Come here,” I tell him as I shift the pillows.
He crawls over me, settling his knees on either side and guiding his dick toward my mouth.
I open, waiting to feel him on my tongue. When he doesn’t put it there, I look up, my mouth turning down in a frown. Our eyes meet, and he smirks, then he presses his dick against my lips, sliding the soft tip back and forth to paint my lips with his precum.
His hand slides under my jaw, applying slight pressure to keep it closed. I let him take the control he wants, the control he needs. I crave it too—letting go.
I’ve never trusted someone the way I trust Adam, and that’s another reason it hurt so badly when he left me.
It’ll hurt worse this time, but I’m refusing to think about that.
All I care about is this—now. There’s no going back at this point.
Not when we’ve slept off the alcohol and have clear heads.
“Open for me,” he whispers in a voice so soft it sounds angelic, but there’s a firmness to it too.
That’s the voice I listen to, no questions asked.
So I open my mouth for him, and he slides his dick in, pressing down on my tongue.
He slides so slowly to the back of my throat that it feels like it takes years.
When he’s finally as far as he will go, he presses up on my jaw so I close around him. “Good boy.”
Adam lets go of his dick and leans forward, gripping the headboard but keeping his other hand on my jaw. He goes slow, but deep, using my mouth exactly how he wants. When he wants me tighter, he presses on my jaw. When he wants me to open a little, he loosens his grip.
We’ve done this game a thousand times before, but something about this, something about right now, it’s different.
We aren’t stupid kids fucking around.
We’re real adults with real lives.
If I thought what we had before was real, what could we be now?
So much more.
So much fucking more.
“Your mouth, Emmet. God, it feels so good.”
I groan around him, my dick aching all over again.
I find Adam’s ass, cupping his full cheeks then sliding my hands up his back and to his waist and up his ribs. I just need to touch him everywhere I can. I never thought I’d be able to touch him like this again, so I’ll take everything I can get.
“You’re perfect,” he says. “So fucking perfect.”
He starts to move a little faster, and that’s the telltale sign that he’s close. He has so much control, but when he’s close, he wants it. He wants to give me my reward.
“Are you ready for it?” he asks, his voice barely contained.
I nod as best I can, breathing heavily out of my nose. Drool is pouring from the sides of my mouth, dripping down my chin and landing on my chest. The headboard creaks as he grips it tighter, his hand pressing on my jaw, so I suck harder as he moves faster.
He groans, loud and long as his dick pulses, his cum hitting the back of my throat. I swallow it down, nearly coming again myself over the taste of him.
How I’ve missed it…
His head falls back on his shoulder, his body relaxing as he comes down from his high.
He swings his leg over and drops beside me.
I lie on my back staring at the ceiling.
I feel his body heat next to me, but it isn’t enough, so I turn on my side and pull him to me, kissing his temple and holding him tightly.
“Are you sure about this?” I ask quietly.
Adam grips my forearm, holding on just as tight. “Yes.”
My eyes fall closed, and I let out a shaky breath.
“Are you sure?” I ask again. “I need you to be absolutely sure, Adam.”
Adam turns on his side to face me, his hand going to my cheek. “Yes,” he says adamantly, his eyes on mine.
I want to believe him, but now that he’s here, now that we’ve crossed this line again, I have the sharp reminder of the pain I felt when he left.
“I won’t be able to handle it if…” I can’t even finish the thought, emotion clogging my throat.
“I am not going anywhere, Emmet. We will make this work. I want to.”
We’re silent for a moment, just staring at one another. There are so many things I want to say, so many things I want to do. I go through the list of things and settle on something I think is important for him to know.
“I never stopped caring about you, Adam. Not once.”
His eyes fall closed, and he lets out a sharp breath. “You’re so sure.”
I put my hand over his. “I’ve always been sure about us.”
His eyes open, and I see the regret. “I wish I could say the same.”
“It doesn’t matter. We’re here now, and if you’re serious, then this is all that matters. This, here, right now.”
He nods, then slides his hand out from under mine to take it and bring it to his lips.
“I haven’t stopped caring about you either, Emmet, I just forced myself not to think about it.”
“I understand.”
“Do you though?”
I nod. “Sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to do because it feels right at the time.”
“Yeah, I suppose so.”
He looks away, but I take his face and turn him back to me. “If we’re going to move forward, we can’t focus on the past. Ours is mostly good, but it’s also messy. We can remember it, learn from it, but we can’t dwell on it. We aren’t the same people. We’re better now.”
The smile that crosses his lips is blinding, and I can’t help but smile back. Everything, right in this moment, is perfect. It all feels right.
“I wish I could have your confidence,” he whispers.
“You don’t need it,” I say, pulling him against my chest. “Because you have me.”