5. Piper
PIPER
Danielle Pepper Fan Club
Trina Dunn: Ugh, she does it again. But in a bad way! Finally finished her newest book and it’s so juvenile!
Comments:
Dana Holden: You do know you could leave the group if you don’t like her stuff, right?
Trina Dunn: I keep hoping she gets better but she just doesn’t!
Dana Holden: Has anyone else finished the book? Please? I want to talk about the third act breakup with someone who won’t complain the whole time.
Trina Dunn: Just look at her reviews! A lot of people feel the way I do!
Theo was an enigma.
The second his eyes were on me, it was like he saw through to my soul. Last night, the feeling that I’d had was back, and I wanted more.
Then he broke the connection, and I wasn’t sure where we stood.
So, like a fool, I wanted to put myself right back in front of him to see what he’d do this time.
It also helped me with my goals, or at least that was what I told myself as I walked into the coffee shop for the third time.
Immediately, there was the familiar rush of anxiety at not being home. There was a longer line today, and I tried to keep myself calm as I was near people I didn’t know.
By the time I got to the front, I was barely keeping it together.
“Hey,” I said.
Theo gave me half a glance and that was it. He was back to being cold again, which should have been fine. Kelsey warned me he was like that with everyone.
But he’d been nice last night. And the more he pulled away, the more I wanted to follow.
“Still remember my order?” I asked.
“Black coffee. Unless you want to change it up?”
I shook my head. “Nope. I’m a creature of habit.”
He only nodded. Kelsey got to work making my drink, but she still gave me a wave and a smile.
I racked my brain for something to say to get Theo to look at me again. Then I got onto myself for even worrying about it.
My thoughts grew murky as I pulled out my card and paid. It felt like I was on autopilot as I mulled over everything with Theo.
Maybe that was why it all went wrong.
He handed me the cup and I grabbed it by the lid—a safe distance from his hand. It would’ve been fine if the lid was secured, or if Theo had held onto it for a second longer.
The cup dropped and both of us tried to save it.
Instead, our hands brushed.
It was momentary, no more than a second, but that was all it took for me.
For anyone else, this would be nothing. A brush of the hands was normal. Expected, even.
But, for me, it was a nightmare.
The touch shot up my arm like fire. It burned, and every part of me knew I needed to get away.
A yelp escaped me. It was far too loud and far too sudden, but I had no control over it. All I knew was that I needed to get out of here.
My chest heaved as I blindly made it to the door.
By the time I stumbled up the metal steps, it was too late. It didn’t matter who it was, the feel of their skin on mine brought back the only physical touch I’d ever known.
And none of that was gentle.
The only thing I could do was slam the door shut before all of the memories that I’d spent years repressing came back to me.
It didn’t matter that I’d been in therapy. It didn’t matter that I’d worked through so much of this. The second I touched anyone else, I was back in it, as if I’d never escaped.
And it played behind my eyelids. I saw my father lunging for me when I’d done something wrong. I felt the way he would attack me over and over again. I could hear his yelling mixing with my own screams.
And all it took to send me back was a simple touch.
The mortification hit hours later.
I was used to this. After the fear faded and my heart rate returned to normal, I would remember what I did and want to sink into the earth.
My eyelids were heavy. The thick emotions weighed on me, but my mind still spun with how I’d acted in The Reserved Bean.
How would I even face Theo? Had he told the whole town? Was I known as the weird girl yet?
Maybe Joey was right. Moving here was a terrible idea.
A knock on the door pulled me out of my thoughts. I didn’t remember a thing, but I’d fallen onto the couch at some point during my panic and stayed there.
I considered avoiding whoever was outside. But I still wanted to be better, even if I had messed things up.
The last person I’d thought it would be was on the other side of the door.
I saw his wide frame and tattoos and my jaw dropped. “Theo?” I asked.
He was nowhere near the door. He was at the edge of the top step, so far from me that I wondered if he would fall down the stairs.
When our eyes met, he looked just as confused as I was as to why he was here. Then he blinked and came into himself. “Hey, uh, you okay?”
I blinked back. “Why are you here?”
“I needed to check in. You seemed . . . scared earlier.”
That was the understatement of the year. My eyes fell to the floor. He had to have questions, and I had no idea how I wanted to answer.
“Listen,” he said. “If I caused that, then I’m sorry. I know I can be a little intimidating, and you already mentioned you were scared of me. But I don’t want you to avoid the shop because of me. That offer of Kelsey taking your order is still open.”
I was used to people asking what was wrong with me. I’d never had someone think it was the opposite way around, and this was the second time Theo had done it.
“What? No. You didn’t do anything.”
“Are you sure about that?” he pressed. “Because with the way you left, I thought—”
“No, that was all me. When our hands touched, it scared me.”
“Oh,” he replied. “Because of me?”
I shook my head. “No, it happens with everyone.”
He slowly nodded, brow pinched as he watched me. “You have a thing about being touched, don’t you?”
“Yeah.” I crossed my arms. “It’s not convenient, obviously.”
“I imagine not,” he said. I waited for the questions, the ones I always dreaded. But they never came. “It won’t happen again. At least not from me. And if anyone gives you a hard time, tell me.”
“Are you sure you want to take that on?” I asked. “I thought you liked to stick to yourself.”
He blinked in shock. “Kelsey told you.”
“It’s also obvious,” I replied. “And while I appreciate the offer, I want to face this. Eventually.”
“It takes time. More than you think.”
“Are you speaking from experience?”
“Maybe.” It was only half an answer, but it gave me just enough to see him a little differently.
Sometimes it felt like I lived in a bubble, where most people had childhoods that were nothing like mine.
I was the one who carried my own problems on my back.
It was rare that I met anyone who’d seen half the stuff I had.
But as I stared at Theo, I recognized something very familiar.
It made me see him differently.
I was curious. Desperately so.
He wouldn’t answer if I asked.
“Thanks for coming by,” I said instead. “I know you probably didn’t want to, but I did need the reminder to come back in.”
He nodded. “Contrary to what some think, I do care about customer service.”
“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean you have to make a house visit.”
Theo thought about his next words for a long time. “I’ve been where you are, and someone doing something kind helped me through it. I’m not sure what to do, but a house visit is a small start.”
“You know how I feel?”
“Not exactly. It wasn’t a touch that would set me off. Sometimes it was just existing.”
“Did it get better?”
“Yes. Slowly.”
“I hate slow.” I shook my head. “But hopefully it’ll happen eventually. I have big plans.”
“Then make them happen.”
“Is the coffee shop yours?”
“It is.”
“We’re similar, aren’t we?” I asked it softly. “That’s why you feel so familiar.”
Now his head jerked back to me. “What?”
“S-sorry. I overstepped. You’re just being nice and I’m having weird thoughts.” I took a shaky breath. “You can forget I said that.”
“I . . . can’t.”
Great. Now I wanted to melt into the floor for the second time today. “Then just don’t make fun of me for it.”
“No, Piper. I had the same thought.”
“Really? And you ignored me?” I said it before I could stop myself, and I wondered if I should take it back.
“I was polite.”
“And cold.” I tilted my head to the side. “Your tall, dark, and broody attitude could use a little friendliness.”
“I’m plenty friendly.” His cheeks were red and I couldn’t help the grin that took over my face. “Seriously, you should’ve seen me when I first got here.”
“First got here? You mean you’re not from here?”
“No. I moved in almost a decade ago.”
Damn. He really was older than me. I pushed the thought out of my mind. It would never matter anyway.
“It’s just another way we’re similar then. We keep finding things in common.”
Theo’s nod was jerky, and I had a feeling he didn’t like the idea.
Or he didn’t want to like it.
“So, what do you think?” I asked. “Did I make the right choice moving here?”
“You could ask a lot of people that.”
“I’m asking you.”
He sighed, and I wondered if he would even answer at all. But he leaned against the railing and nodded. “You did. This is a good place to be.”
“That means a lot coming from someone who moved here.”
And it seemed to be for the same reasons I came to Strawberry Springs.
To escape.
“I used to move around a lot. I never planned on staying in one place for long.”
“And Strawberry Springs grew on you?”
“It did.”
“That makes me feel better.” I took a deep breath. “Actually, everything you did today did.”
“Even the part where you called me out for being rude?” One of his eyebrows raised, and instead of feeling the familiar fear, I only rolled my eyes.
“I might be a baby about touch, but I call it like I see it.” I bit my lip as I thought about it. “Actually, it was nice to just be normal for a moment after all of that. Most people don’t let me do that. Thank you for dropping by.”
“Your smile’s back.” He crossed his arms and one corner of his mouth tilted upward. Fuck, I liked the look of that. “That’s all I hoped for.” He gave me a nod, pushed off the railing, and turned.
“Have a nice night,” I said. I wanted him to stop and come back. I wasn’t sure what we could talk about, but I needed more.
He paused and gave me one last glance. “You too. Will you come in tomorrow?”
“I will.”
“See you then.”
Then he headed downstairs.
“You’re smile’s back.” I made my voice deep to sound like him. “God, what a line.”
I closed the door to my apartment, still thinking over the conversation.
When we talked in the alley, Theo said if he started talking to me, he’d never stop. Now I had a hint of what that meant.
And I hoped that he was right, that he wouldn’t stop talking to me.
I certainly didn’t want him to.