9. Piper
PIPER
Strawberry Springs Neighborhood Watch
Piper M: Hi, everyone! Just wanted to introduce myself. I’m Piper, and I moved into the apartment that was recently renovated. I’m sorry I haven’t met all of you yet, I’m a little shy and taking things slow. I can’t wait to get to know everyone!
Comments:
Wren Hackett: Yay! Welcome to town, Piper.
Kelsey Marie: I’m warning you all to behave. I’ve met Piper and she’s the sweetest thing. You all know I’ll fight you.
Hu Gh: Who’s Piper?
Jade Clark: Hugh, I ask you once again to READ. Welcome to town, Piper! Don’t take Hugh seriously. If you need candles, I’m your gal!
Kerry Winsor: FINALLY! I’ve been wondering who moved in for WEEKS! Where are you from? What do you do? How have I not seen you yet?
Jade Clark: Wow, only three questions. You’re getting off easy.
Piper M: I’ll take it! I lived in Knoxville. I write books. And I tend to avoid lots of people! I’ll have to meet everyone over time.
Kerry Winsor: Do you hang out somewhere?
Jade Clark: Down, girl. She said she’s taking it slow.
I wished that posting that message didn’t make me nervous, but it did. Telling what I could about me was needed, but no matter how many times I reminded myself of the logic, emotion won out.
It knocked me out for an entire day. I wanted to go to the coffee shop, but my body wouldn’t let me. I had to sit at home and recover from the idea that telling people I was here meant they would find me. No one knocked on my door. No one did anything more than comment on my post.
I was safe.
Still, the last thing I wanted to do was break the routine that Theo and I had. I liked sitting at The Reserved Bean to work more than I could say, and I felt a kinship with him that I couldn’t fully explain.
But there was a part of me that wondered if he would even miss my absence.
Half the time, he didn’t even notice I was there. Maybe it was best that he didn’t.
He had a way of knowing exactly what to say and do, though. It was intoxicating, and it made me want to try more.
If only my anxiety would let me.
My goal in moving here was to get over the fears that held me back. I knew that Scarlett would tell me to remind myself of the things I was doing right, and that I was making progress, more so than I realized.
But I wanted to do more. I wanted to be able to join this little town. Scouring the Facebook group made me see that this was a community, one that I wanted to belong to. I wanted to get over my fear of touch and live a life like I wrote about. I wanted love.
And as time went on, I was worried I’d never see it.
The afternoon came and went and I wasn’t able to get off the couch. I was tempted to text Theo and tell him I wouldn’t be in, but I had no clue if he would even care. That led to me mulling over my feelings the rest of the day.
The sun was low in the sky when I got a call. For a second, I thought it was Theo checking in on me, but instead, it was Joey.
“Hey,” I said as I put on the most chipper voice I could. “Good to hear from you, Joey.”
“Yeah.” His tone already sounded suspicious. I was so fucked. “So, how are you? And please be honest. You know I’ll know if you’re lying.”
“I’m . . . fine. Mostly. There are some hard days, but there’re also good ones.”
“You’re having hard days?”
I blinked. Was that all he heard? “Yes, but it’s to be expected. I am doing something hard, after all.”
“Still,” he said. “Have you had a panic attack?”
I winced. “One.”
“Why didn’t you call me? I could’ve come to get you.”
“I handled it,” I said. “That’s what I’m in therapy for. I have to be able to manage these things.”
“But I can manage it for you.”
“I know you can, and I’ll never be able to say how much I appreciate it, but I’m okay.”
“Piper, I—”
My chest tightened and I knew I had to change the subject. “What about the good things? Can’t we talk about those too?”
“Not when you’re suffering as well.”
That made me frown. For the first time, I felt a spark of annoyance toward Joey.
But then I shook my head. I didn’t need to feel this way about him. This was my best friend. He was the first person to care about me and try to solve all of my problems.
“I have to be able to take the good with the bad.” I said it as gently as I could. “Besides, it was weeks ago. I’m okay and haven’t had one since.”
“What happened?”
“Does it matter?”
“You know it does. You touched someone, didn’t you?”
I sighed. “Yes. It was an accident.”
“So being in a small town can’t stop that from happening. Just like I said.”
I took a breath to stay calm. I hated confrontation, but I needed to make my piece heard. “There’re still less people here.”
“But it doesn’t stop touching.”
The hand not holding the phone tightened into a fist, but I forced it to unclench.
He just cared about me. A lot.
“Joey, please. Just let me try this.”
“Piper, I don’t even know what kind of people you’re around.”
An idea popped into my head. “That I can help with. I joined their Facebook group recently.”
“Who the hell still uses Facebook?”
“I know, I know. But there’s a lot of stuff in there. The posts are good. It lets me introduce myself without having to meet everyone yet. I’ll send it to you so you can see. You could even join if you want to keep an eye on things.”
Joey was silent for a long time. “That’s . . . not a bad idea.”
“See? I can have those.”
“Sometimes, yes. I’ll look into it.”
Thank God. I almost let out a sigh of relief.
“I’d really like that.” I pulled my phone away from my ear and sent him a link to the group. “Let me know if you see something fun.”
“I doubt there’ll be anything that good,” he muttered. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah, I am. I think I just need time alone. Introducing myself was scary, but I wanted to do it.” I wouldn’t mention how he set off my anxiety too. The last thing I wanted was for him to feel bad about it.
“And you’re taking time for yourself?”
“Yep. Just chilling in my apartment. It’s quiet here.”
“Good. That’s what you should do. But call me if something else happens.”
“I will.”
Joey said his goodbyes before I was left in the silence of my apartment. I let my face fall into my pillow. My heart was pounding from simply posting in a Facebook group and talking to my friend.
I was so tired of feeling anxious, and now it had bled into my conversation with Joey. If there were a way I could trade it all away, I would. Living in fear was miserable.
That was when my phone buzzed. I was tempted to ignore it in favor of screaming, but I slowly looked up.
Theo
I’m guessing that messaging the group wasn’t easy. Are you okay?
“Oh my God,” I muttered, sitting up. Was I dreaming? Or did Theo actually text me?
Piper
You guessed right. Sorry I didn’t come in, by the way.
Theo
I’m gonna go bankrupt, but I’ll forgive you.
Despite myself, I laughed. I knew it was a joke. There was no way he was hurting for money with how many people I saw going in and out of the shop. Theo didn’t seem like the kind of man capable of joking, but deep down under those tattoos, he was a sweetheart.
I’d done additional digging on him to find out more. There was nothing in the Facebook group and even less on his profile. I knew he didn’t date, but with his looks, personality, and grammar skills?
He could find someone easily.
I was tempted to let it be me, but there was no way he’d have any interest. He made it clear he thought I was young, which was correct, and no matter how much I wanted to, dating wouldn’t go well for me. Not until I got my shit together.
But I could flirt. I could hang onto our little moments and write them into my next book. It gave me life.
Piper
I’ll make up for it tomorrow. Promise.