18. Theo
THEO
Strawberry Springs Neighborhood Watch
Jackie Anne: Has anyone else noticed Piper is at The Reserved Bean a lot???
Comments:
Kerry Winsor: Oh, is she . . . ihaven’tnoticedatallwhydoyouask?
Jackie Anne: Why are you typing that way? Is your space bar broken?
Kerry Winsor: No . . .
Jackie Anne: Okay, weird. Anyone else?
Piper M: I just love coffee and have no social life. Nothing too fun here.
Jackie Anne: It is good, isn’t it?
Piper M: SO good. And I talk to Kelsey a lot.
Kelsey Marie: She really does. She’s one of the few people I like.
Kerry Winsor: Wow . . . I really have nothing to add to this conversation, I guess.
Jackie Anne: Kerry, are you okay? Do you need a nap or something?
Piper wound up handling most of the Facebook drama, and she took it like a champ. Despite her worries about fitting in here, I knew that once she knew everyone, she would do just fine. More than fine, even.
We fell back into a rhythm after that. She came in during the afternoons, played it cool, and worked on her novel.
But something had shifted. Her eyes always lingered and she watched me closely. She’d said she trusted me, but I had no idea what that entailed.
All I knew was I felt where she’d brushed into me like a fresh tattoo, even now. There were times I’d feel the ghost of her touch and I’d have to rub the area to remind myself that it probably wouldn’t happen again.
It was late in the day a week later when she slammed her laptop shut. “I’m done. I’m finally done with this book.”
I was washing my hands and jolted when she spoke. Usually Piper was quiet. “Congratulations.”
“I’m a little behind. My agent isn’t thrilled with me, but it’s done and ready to go to him. What a relief.”
I blinked over at her. She had an agent? I had no idea she did so well with her writing. Then again, she’d been able to move to Strawberry Springs without the mention of a job.
“You can ask, you know.” She stood and walked until she was in front of me.
“I was just curious about your writing.”
“Ask anything you want.”
“Is it profitable?”
“For most people, no. I’m incredibly lucky. My books do well and I get great advances on them. Plus, I don’t spend a lot of money. It’s hard to when you never leave the house.”
“Do you publish under your regular name?”
“I don’t. I thought about making my dad’s legacy be smut and romance, but I was worried people would find me.”
Every now and then, Piper would mention something sexual just because she knew it would make me blush. It was never directed toward me, but hearing it come out of her mouth still shocked me every time.
I’d completely turned off any thoughts about relationships, determined to focus on keeping my past a secret.
It was coming alive now.
I didn’t need to connect those kinds of things with her. She meant it as a joke, but I thought about her far too much and in ways she wasn’t ready for.
“I’m sure he’s rolling over in his grave just because of how well you’re doing.”
“You know what smut is?”
“Contrary to popular belief, I can read. The ladies talk about it in the Facebook group often.”
“I did see that,” she said with a laugh. “But I haven’t seen you in there much.”
“I haven’t touched Facebook in a while.”
“Why not? You used to post.”
“I just . . . hate social media. And I have a habit of looking up people from my past.”
Piper slowly nodded. “Got it. Then it’s not good for you. Though, I did like reading when you would comment.”
“How far did you go back?”
“Pretty far.”
“On everything?”
“Uh, yeah. Definitely everything.”
I had a feeling she was lying. Had she really done all that digging on me?
“Anyway,” she said, and for once, she was the one blushing, “I’m sure you figured out that I write romance.”
“Yes. And if you want to be left alone, keep that to yourself. Tammy loves romance and would be asking you all kinds of questions on the various genres.”
“I’ve read them all.”
“Even the . . . What did she last bring up? The omegaverse?”
“Yes, even that. It changed my relationships with knots.”
I didn’t even want to know what that meant. “I mean this in the nicest way I can say it, but that tracks for you.”
Piper didn’t get offended. She only laughed.
“At least you’re not judging me. That would make this whole thing we have difficult.”
“‘This whole thing?’ Where you prey on my embarrassment and mention smut and dildos all the time?”
“Where I write here,” she clarified. “And you started it with bringing up Kerry’s dildo.”
“I regret it.”
“Good. I still won’t stop, though. You’d have to ask very nicely.”
I opened my mouth, and then shut it.
She smirked. “You like it, don’t you?”
“I’m not answering that. And I’m changing the subject.”
“Fine.” She crossed her arms. “What are you changing it to?”
“Will you still be coming in if you’re done with the book?”
“Aw, will you miss me?”
“Piper,” I warned.
She laughed again. “Fine. I’ll be serious. To answer your question, yes. Most of writing is editing and I’ll have more of that. Plus, I want to start on something else.”
“You’re busy.”
“I’m behind. I used up all the books I had for a while, and now I need to build up all of my stuff again. Face it, Theo. You’re stuck with me.”
“I’ll have to figure out how to survive.” I turned to get back to cleaning. “You have a few minutes before I’m done.”
“Even with you going slow?”
“Yep.”
She nodded before her eyes went distant. She was silent for a long moment, clearly lost in thought. “Before you get started, there’s something I need to talk to you about.”
I had no idea what it could be, and it terrified me that I didn’t know. “Need a cup of coffee for the road?” I asked slowly, hoping that was all it was.
“As tempting as that is, no. It’s something else.”
I took in the way she fiddled with the hem of her shirt. “If it’s another dark thing about your past, I may need a moment to prepare.”
“No, you know most of it. Hopefully this isn’t bad at all.”
“You’re nervous.”
“I am, but for good reason.” Piper took in a long breath. “Can I try something . . . with you?”
My immediate urge was to say yes, but I held it back. “Try what?”
“Uh, touching you.”
I nearly dropped the mop. “Touching me?”
“Yeah, just to see if I would be afraid of it.”
I crossed my arms, resisting the urge to lean away from her. “I’m not interested in testing your fear.”
“I’m not either, but I promise I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t have a reason. I think I can do it. I’ve been thinking about it all week, actually.”
Was that why she had been looking at me?
I’d had no idea what it could be about, but I didn’t think it was this.
When she told me that she had a thing against touching, I expected that to be how it was forever.
Honestly, it was good for me that she didn’t want to touch me.
It would make both of us safer in the end.
But that kind of fear wasn’t sustainable. And both of us knew that. Piper had come into town with the promise of changing things, and I had no doubt that this was included. I just didn’t realize I could ever be the one to help her.
“Why me?”
She looked down as she thought about it. “Because I do really trust you. And you might be the first person that I want to touch.”
The words hit me hard. She wanted me out of all the other people she’d met?
“Has there ever been anyone else since it started?”
Her eyes met mine and she shook her head.
I didn’t understand this connection I had with her. It defied logic and reason.
And obviously, it was mutual.
“Okay.” It was all I could manage. I expected her to step closer, but she frowned.
Her cheeks darkened. “I want you to actually be okay with this. Don’t just say yes because you’re the first one I want to touch. I’ll figure it out if you say no.”
“I know.” I said it softly. “The answer is yes. Do whatever you want to me.”
“It’s just gonna be a brush of the hands.”
“Still.”
“Are you sure about this?”
I rolled up one of my flannel sleeves, offering my arm to her. It was the safest place for her to go. I figured she would touch me and move on.
For a long time, she stared at it, teeth sinking into her lip. Her knuckles turned white with how hard she clenched her fists. And I wondered if she was as truly prepared for this as she thought she was. I was about to call it off when she finally lifted her hand.
Her featherlight touch landed on the top of my wrist, right where one of the vine tattoos started.
I went rigid, determined not to spook her as she did her exploration. Piper was frozen, staring intensely at where her hand rested against my skin.
For a second I wondered if this would be the end of her touching me. It was a lot, even for her, to choose to touch someone. I had a feeling that all of the times before had been accidents, that they hadn’t been something she initiated.
“Are you okay?” I asked lowly.
Piper slowly nodded, eyes still transfixed on where she touched me. Her hand moved, tracing the vine to where my skin said “just breathe.” That had been one of the first things she noticed when we met, and it helped her then. I wondered if it was helping her now.
She traced the lines of it and my skin broke out in chills. I wondered if that alone would scare her off, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted it to or not, but she stayed there, still moving her fingers lightly against me.
Just this light touch felt like more than anything else I’d experienced in my life. I’d dated, had sex, done it all.
This was something else entirely.
“Your skin feels different.” Piper’s voice was low.
“What do you mean it feels different?”
“I’m used to my own. I’ve never chosen to touch anyone else in my adult life. I wasn’t sure what it would feel like anymore.”
“Do you like it?” The second I asked it, I regretted it. What was I doing asking a boneheaded question like that?
“Yes.”
Now my entire body tensed.
Piper was so close this time that she caught on.
“Sorry, this must be pretty miserable for you.” Her hand disappeared, and I had to resist the urge to reach out and pull it back. I knew she had touched me, but I would do nothing to betray that trust.
“It was fine.”
“Your face is red.”
“It’s just hot in here.”
I wasn’t sure if she believed my lie.
“Thank you for letting me do that. I can’t believe I’m okay. Mostly.” She let out a loud laugh. “I kind of feel like I could run a marathon right now.”
“You did good.” It was all I could say through my gritted teeth.
“Hopefully this is the start of many other things.” She stared at her hand again before her eyes met mine. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Theo.”
“Yeah. Tomorrow.”
I opened my mouth to ask if we would be doing this again, but her gaze slipped down to my lips and then back up.
Her face was red as she stepped away to get her laptop. When she vacated the coffee shop, I let out a long breath of air.
That touch could easily destroy me. That touch was a bad idea to ever let happen again. But I knew without a shadow of a doubt that if she asked again, I would be saying yes.