Chapter 7 Asante
ASANTE
ONE YEAR LATER
Ipoured a little bit of sugar in the coffee mug in front of me, stirred it quickly then plucked it up and spun around in time to see Bishop throw his tie on around his neck and tie it in record breaking time. He smiled at the mug I was offering him, took it and leaned in to kiss me quickly.
“Thank you.”
“Yep.” I shifted out of his way and moved to pop the toast I was making out of the toaster.
I tossed it on to one of the waiting plates that already had eggs, bacon and grits on it and offered that to Bishop too. A huge smile took over his face and it made me smile in return. I didn’t think I’d ever get tired of seeing how happy me making him breakfast made him.
I was never someone that ate breakfast. I was the type to stick to protein until I got my morning workout done while Bishop ate enough food to put a trash compactor to shame before he started his day.
He grabbed a fork and took a bite still standing up, humming and nodding as he chewed like the same breakfast I made him once a week was the best cooking he’d ever had.
“Thank you,” he said again.
“You’re welcome.”
I leaned back against the counter while he walked around the kitchen to our small table and collapsed at it.
He checked his phone with one hand and shoved food in his mouth with the other and I knew without having to ask that he was checking in on security shit.
He checked the family’s security cameras like the morning paper.
I walked over to the pantry and grabbed a protein bar that I cracked open and walked back out to join him at the table.
Even though he and Rook technically still shared a house, he spent a lot of time at my spot.
I mean, I spent nights over at their spot too but it just made more sense for Bishop to be here.
I knew Rook better now. I’d officially met him outside of the club scene and we’d even all hung out together.
I knew that he was well aware of what was going on with me and Bishop but I also knew we were more comfortable in my spot where we could kiss in the kitchen and act like a long term domestic couple instead of whatever the fuck we probably actually were.
We were a year into our relationship and we still weren’t seeing anyone outside of each other but the fact that Bishop’s upcoming wedding day was closing in was like a dark cloud over our relationship.
Shit. I knew what it was when I’d gotten with him and knowing what I knew now, I still didn’t regret shit.
Bishop was a good man from an unconventional family and he deserved to be happy. Shit. He deserved me, and I felt like I deserved him too.
I had faith we would figure shit out. We didn’t have any other choice at this point and I meant that.
If Bishop stood in front of me and told me he wanted me to go to war with his family by his side, I’d do that.
If he told me he wanted to abide by his family’s rules, walk away from me and go off and marry some woman picked out for him, I’d let him.
I’d swallow my pride, step back and let him go. He deserved happiness.
I was sure he was happiest with me, but I couldn’t force him to be anywhere he didn’t want to be and if he wanted to throw his happiness away for his family’s approval, I loved him enough to let him go even if I knew it wasn’t what was best for either of us.
I exhaled and swallowed. His eyes drifted up to me and they zeroed in on my face. I watched them bounce along my features. He was always trying to read me and it was almost scary how often he was fucking right.
“Where’s your head, Asante?” he asked.
“Nowhere.”
“Word?” He smiled. “We lie to each other now?”
“Just thinking about the wedding.”
Bishop set his phone down on the table and dropped his fork into his plate. “Whose wedding?”
“Aren’t you going to a wedding tonight?”
“Yeah, some couple I don’t even fucking know but King thinks it’s a good look for us to be there.” He tilted his head slightly. “You don’t have to lie to me, Asante. We’re bigger than that.“
“Yeah, and your last name is bigger than everything else.”
“It is,” he confirmed without hesitation. It wasn’t said bitterly or defensively. It was a simple response to my statement, a fact that we both knew. “You worried about me getting married?”
“I won’t say I’m worried, but I will say it’s been on my mind more and more now that your birthday has come and gone and this year together just fucking flew by.”
“Yeah,” he sighed. “I know what you mean. If the last year flew by as quickly as it did, the next one will probably go by just as fast.”
“If not faster.” I took a bit of my protein bar.
“So, what’s going on in your head? Where’s it at? You want to cut your losses?”
I chewed as I thought and swallowed before leaning forward on the table.
Bishop asked me that question often, like he thought one day I would just wake up and decide that I wasn’t in love with him, that I wasn’t fucking obsessed with everything he did, like I wouldn’t go off and die in his name like a mindless soilder meant for nothing but his protection.
“Nah,” I said simply. “I don’t want to cut my losses. I never want to cut my losses and I never want you to think that’s what I want, but ultimately we do have to think about how our dynamic is going to change once you get married.”
“The Barron name is as big a bartering chip as it is a hindrance. There’s a woman out there who will gladly marry me and not care what I do as long as I bankroll her lifestyle and let her hang on my arm at public appearances. Shit won’t change that much.”
“You sure about that?”
“Positive.”
“Alright,” I took another bite of my protein bar and let it go.
This conversation wasn’t going to change anything.
There was a part of me that felt weird about knowing that I’d be with a married man behind the scenes, but another part of me was selfish. As long as Bishop was honest with whoever he married and they signed off on it, it was what it was.
I loved him and I was going to take him however I could get him if it came down to that.
Bishop sighed.
“I don’t want you to worry about this, baby.” He said quietly. “It’s going to work out. It has to work out.” He repeated my thoughts aloud and I nodded once. “Shit is changing. My brother is making the matches for me and Rook and I’m going to sit him down and tell him. We’re good.”
His phone vibrated and he looked down at it. I watched his demeanor shift in real time while his eyes glanced over the screen. He didn’t say anything about the message though. He just turned his attention back to me.
“What do you need to feel secure in this?”
“Nothing.” I took another bite of my protein bar. “I’m secure in you and me. It’s everybody else that’s the fucking problem.” I admitted.
He grinned then chuckled then shrugged.
“You’re right.”
“Yeah, and I know you also have work shit to get done so go ahead and do it.”
“I’m talking to you,” he argued.
“And I’m good. For real. Take it.”
“You sure?”
“I’m positive. We’ll reconvene tonight.”
I knew Bishop and I knew how important his work was.
I also knew how important I was to him and the balance he tried to always have between the two.
The fact that he was even willing to put his work on the backburner to finish this conversation with me was enough to reiterate that what we had was real and that he’d fight for it if it came down to that.
His eyes locked on mine and I knew he was making sure I wasn’t lying before he nodded once.
“Yeah, alright.”
Bishop grabbed his phone back up, shoved four mouth fulls of food into his mouth and drank some coffee to wash it down while rapidly texting.
I watched as he ate in super speed, his mouth too full for any conversation to be going on.
Then, he hopped to his feet, walked around the table and kissed the side of my head.
“We’ll reconvene tonight,” he repeated.
“Yep,” I nodded once and grabbed the plate in his hand. “Leave it. Just go.” I nudged my head toward the door. “I’ve got it.”
“Thank you.” He kissed the side of my head again. “If you need me, text me. I’ll answer.” He recited the same exact thing he said every morning as he walked to the bowl that held our keys, snatched his up and made a beeline for the door.
I watched him go, finished eating my bar then climbed up for my morning water and to clean the kitchen. Then, I went for my daily run through the neighborhood, took a warm shower, got ready for the day, had some breakfast and headed out to the club.
I’d barely set my things down when someone knocked on my office door.
“What’s up?”
“Liquor is here,” Layla sang.
“Alright. Let’s do it.” I hopped up and headed out behind her so we could receive the cases in and update our inventory.
I cut the check for what we’d received then headed back to my office to update the club’s finances and sighed.
Shit wasn’t going well. I knew that.
The club was eating up more money than it was making and while I had the money to back it, investing was starting to feel more like throwing money down the drain out of pride.
I rubbed my temples while I stared at the numbers.
Something had to change.
My employees deserved a living wage but fuck, there came a point where I needed to cut my losses and with the way shit was going with me and Bishop right now, I didn’t need the added stress especially considering I couldn’t talk to anyone about the fact that my business was bubbling under.
My business degree having sister would run everything if given the chance and with her toddler, the last thing she needed was her little brother throwing his problems at her feet.
The same thing applied to Bishop. If he knew for a second that my business was having problems he’d throw money at the issue which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, but he was a fixer through and through and if I was having issues thinking about his marriage, I couldn’t even think about how that shit was eating away at him.
No.
I couldn’t let the people that I loved the most take on my burdens. I’d have to figure this out on my own. I had no other choice.