Chapter 5
Chloe – Past – Age 18
“You look beautiful, Mija,” my mama said as she finished curling the last strand of my hair.
This year has flown by, and since it was New Year’s, I was about to head to the clubhouse for the annual New Year’s Eve party.
Every year, my mama curled my hair for the event. Since it was so long, it made more sense.
I smiled, “Thank you, Mama. And thank you for my good genes.”
She winked at me, “So, are you planning on getting a New Year kiss from anyone?”
I gasped, “Mama? Really?”
She chuckled, “I kissed your father. That was how I knew he was the one.”
I thought about what she said for a few minutes.
And when I looked in the mirror at her, I could tell that she knew something.
She was my mama, after all.
And she proved that when she said, “I know, Mija. I know. But Stella loves you. She will forgive you. I think the greatest harm anyone can do to themselves is to deny what the heart wants. No one wants to be miserable.”
“There’s a big age difference,” I said.
She shrugged, “The heart wants what it wants. As long as God is pleased with you, then the opinions of others don’t matter.”
Her words stayed with me while I got ready.
But they almost left my head when I walked down the steps and saw that my dad’s friend, Marco, was seated on the couch, and they were watching a game.
I wasn’t sure what it was about him, but he gave me the major creeps.
Perhaps it was the predatory way his eyes moved up and down my body.
The predatory look in that he wouldn’t mind taking what wasn’t offered to him freely.
Thankfully, my mama caught my eye and gestured for me to go ahead and leave.
Her words stayed with me until I climbed in my car, a little Honda Civic that was my eighteenth birthday present from my parents.
The moment I pulled into the club’s parking lot, I drove around groups of bikes until I pulled my car in beside Stella’s.
I thought it was awesome when Asher showed me that I had a designated parking spot.
Speaking of Asher.
My fingers trailed over the little pendant that was attached to a white gold chain around my neck.
He had gifted me the necklace on my birthday.
And that little pendant... well, if you didn’t know what it was, then you wouldn’t know what it was.
It was in the shape of fireworks.
Something I didn’t know the meaning behind.
And neither did Stella.
Asher wouldn’t tell me about the meaning behind it, no matter how many times I had begged to be told.
I sighed then and climbed out of my car, only to feel guilty as all got out when I caught sight of Stella, who was smiling at me while walking over to me.
I forced a smile, and when she tilted her head, I knew she saw it.
Dang it.
Just as she opened her mouth to say something, Gabby came over and smiled, “Thank goodness. We need help in the kitchen.”
And just like that, we headed into the clubhouse, but not before Stella leaned in and said, “I want to know what’s going on.”
I sighed, then nodded, and while I cooked, I tried to think about a lie that she would believe.
And I hated it.
I hated lying for one thing.
I hated lying worst of all to Stella.
But I couldn’t tell her this. I just freaking couldn’t.
We had just finished getting everything done and ready, and just in time, too.
Because the masses were hungry.
I had just carried one dish to the bar top.
Since it was cold outside, we wouldn’t be eating outside like we did nine times out of ten.
Once I set the dish on the bar top, I tilted my head, and at that feeling, I winced, then raced to the bathroom.
Why, oh, why didn’t I check my app before I left the house?
I bought a brand-new box yesterday, knowing it was getting close to time for my period.
Pulling my phone out of my back pocket, I opened my messages to Stella.
Me – Do you have any tampons?
I sat there and waited.
And waited.
And freaking waited.
And when she didn’t respond, I texted Gabby.
Gabby was short for Gabriella.
She was one of the new club girls the club had hired, and I adored her.
She was older than me by at least three years, but she was awesome.
Me – Hey, do you have any tampons?
Thankfully, she responded quickly.
Gabby – No. Sorry. I used my last one a few days ago. Stella?
Me – She hasn’t texted me back yet.
I sat there and waited.
My phone buzzed then.
Gabby – Stella’s phone died. But she doesn’t have any.
I shook my head; this was going to be torture.
But I pulled my big girl panties up, so to speak, and grabbed a lot of toilet paper for a makeshift pad.
Just as I was about to place it in my underwear, my phone buzzed again.
And when I saw the message, my face flamed.
Asher – What do you need?
No way in all get out was I telling him.
I would die of mortification.
Me – Nothing. It’s fine.
I put my phone down on the floor and then placed the toilet paper.
Wiped, stood, carefully pulled up my underwear, making sure the toilet paper didn’t move, then pulled up my jeans and flushed.
I had just finished washing my hands when my phone buzzed.
Asher – Talked to Gabby and Stella. Sit tight. Be back.
Umm.... what?
I called him.
It rang. And rang. And.... “Yeah?”
I sighed, “What do you mean sit tight and you will be back?”
“You need something. Headed to get it.” He said without an ounce of sarcasm.
My heart melted while my face flamed yet again, how in the world was that possible?
Those two things happening at the same time?
I ran a hand through my hair and said, “Asher, you don’t have to do that.”
I heard his blinker come on, “Be back in less than ten minutes. You wanna stay on the phone with me until I get the ones you need?”
I leaned against the wall in the bathroom and nodded, even though he couldn’t see me, “Yeah. Thank you, Asher.”
“Ain’t a thing.” I heard his truck shut off, and then his door opened and closed.
I was fiddling with the hem on my blouse when he said, “So, what else do you need?”
My fingers froze, and then I lifted a brow, “Besides tampons?”
He answered, “Yeah.”
I thought for a minute, then said, “Umm, well, Midol and candy. Anything that’s chocolate.”
“Got it. Okay, hang on, Chloe,” he said, then spoke to someone, “Yeah, can you tell me where the tampons are and where the Midol is?”
I didn’t hear anything after that, but I did hear Asher mutter, “Thanks.” ... then I heard, “Not on your fucking life.”
“What?” I asked.
“The woman thought it was hot that a man would buy tampons for someone. Said that was the kind of man she’d like to get to know. Blondes don’t do a thing for me.”
Whether it was the cramp that just assaulted my body or something else, I didn’t know, but I opened my mouth and asked, “What does it for you?”
He answered immediately, “Dark-haired, green-eyed beauties. Okay, I’m at the tampons. What kind do you want?”
My breath lodged in my throat. Deep in my throat at his words.
Because those were me.
Oh. My. Gawd.
I didn’t realize I hadn’t replied to him until I heard, “Chloe?”
I shook my head, then blurted out, “Sorry. Umm, I usually get the blue box and regular.”
“Got it. Okay. Be back in less than six minutes.” And with that, he hung up the phone.
I let my hand drop, still clutching my phone, and again heard the words in his raspy tone: Dark-haired, green-eyed beauties .
Then I heard my mama’s words again: The heart wants what it wants. As long as God is pleased with you, the opinions of others don’t matter.
I didn’t know how long I stood there until there was a knock on the door.
I walked over to it, unlocked it, opened it, and took the box Asher was holding. “Got your other stuff for you. Come find me when you get done.”
And with that, he turned on his boot and walked away.
I wanted to watch him walk away, but alas, the toilet paper wasn’t cutting it.
After I did what I needed to do, I walked out of the bathroom, the box of tampons underneath my arm, and with my head held high, I walked into the main room of the clubhouse.
Stella met me, then took the box from me, and said, “That little cabinet in the bathroom, Dad said for me to put them in there and add tampons to the weekly shopping list... Go eat. Dad made your plate for you.”
I nodded, then said, “Thank you.
My eyes landed on Asher right away, and I headed in his direction, he saw me coming and then jerked his head to a plate of food that was sitting beside his.
I sat down then whispered, “Thank you.”
He winked at me and then nodded.
After we all ate, we headed outside to watch the fireworks the MC put on every year.
I was curled up in a lawn chair underneath a blanket beside Asher, with Stella on the other side of him.
“Do you think it’s possible to push out a uterus through your vagina?” I asked Asher as another cramp assaulted my body.
Asher being Asher, he didn’t laugh. He didn’t snicker.
No, he leaned down and picked up the bag I hadn’t noticed he had.
He opened it up and pulled out a bottle of grape soda, opened it, handed it to me, and then he opened the box of Midol, read the instructions, shook two out, and handed them to me.
Once I took them and drank some of the soda, he then reached into the bag and pulled out a smaller bag of my favorite candy.
The Snickers with almonds in them.
He unwrapped one and handed it to me.
Stella chimed in, “Oh, gimmie one.”
He looked at her after he handed me the Snickers and asked, “Are you on your period?”
She shook her head.
“Then you don’t get one.” Then he pulled out a smaller bag of her favorite candy, Three Musketeers, and handed it to her.
After I popped the chocolate in my mouth, I ate it and then felt my breath catch again when Asher leaned over and whispered, “If I could go through it for you, I fucking would.”
I could say that so many things that this man had done that had caused me to fall in love with him.
But at his words and the sincerity in them... I fell even harder.
And I would be damned if I chased after my feelings and ruined my relationship with Stella.
But apparently, Asher hadn’t said what he did low enough.
Because someone had heard it, and they smiled.
Because it was about time.
If they had to watch the whole star-crossed lover’s thing, and nothing became of it, they were going to revolt.
Perhaps it was time to move those two along.
I didn’t get my New Year’s Eve kiss like I had been thinking about.
There was only one person I wanted it from.
And I didn’t have the courage nor the want to blow my friendship with Stella wide open and ruin anything.
***
But all of that almost became one of the biggest lies I’d ever told.
It was the week before prom. And Stella and I had agreed to be each other’s date.
We were at her house getting ready.
P!nk was in the background singing about Beautiful Trauma while I did my make-up.
We both went yesterday and had our nails done.
Thankfully, I had just finished with my last swipe of mascara when Stella shouted, “That’s bullcrap.”
I turned my head to look at her, “What happened?”
“There was water damage at the event, so we are having it at the school gym.”
I frowned. “Shouldn’t they have known about this five hours before the event?”
She nodded, “I know, right? That’s sketch.”
And it was sketch.
She sat down and then said, “I don’t want our prom to be at the gym.”
Then I got an idea in my head and asked, “Do you remember years ago for your tenth birthday, and you wanted a fairy party? Do you think they still have the lights and stuff?”
Her eyes got wide, then she hit a button and put the phone on speaker.
I heard Asher’s voice shortly after that, “Everything okay, princess?”
“They changed the event to the gym. And that doesn’t sound like fun. Chloe thought about my tenth birthday. Do y’all still have the lights and stuff?”
He was quiet for a beat, then said, “When will the two of you be ready?”
Stella answered him, “Forty-five minutes or so.”
I nodded.
“Okay. Tell you what, y’all finish getting ready, I’m going to have Gabby grab y’all dinner. Eat that. Then I’ll send someone to pick y’all up. Don’t worry about a thing. Alright?”
She nodded.
Then, before she hung up, I heard Asher ask, “Color’s your dress, princess?”
“Light blue.”
Then he asked, “Chloe’s?”
“Deep red.”
He was silent for another beat, then said, “Okay.” And with that, he hung up.
After we got ready, Gabby knocked on the door. Stella answered it, and I heard, “Dayum girl, you are looking fine.”
Stella beamed.
Then I saw Gabby, and when she saw me, her jaw dropped, then closed, then dropped again, then she said, “Girl... holy shit. Are you planning to give the brothers a heart attack?”
Stella snickered, “I made her get it. She looks stunning in it.”
“It’s too much,” I said.
The same thing I said to Stella when she made me try it on at the store a couple of months ago.
“It is not. Now let’s see what Dad got us.” We both thanked Gabby and then she was out the door.
And it was our favorite.
Italian dishes from Italiano’s , the best Italian restaurant in the state. If you wanted my opinion and basically that of everyone in our county.
My mouth watered when I smelled everything.
And then, my senses were heightened when I took my first bite of the creamy Tuscan chicken pasta.
Stella got the chicken carbonara, her favorite as well.
And the garlic bread delish.
I was so full I didn’t think I could move.
Well, that was until we both heard the sounds of Harley pipes.
I looked at Stella.
She looked at me.
And we grinned, “Way out,” I whispered.
“Righteous,” she whispered back.
Once we made it to the door, we both stood and waited.
We didn’t have to wait long.
Because there was a knock on the door.
Stella opened the door, and my breath caught at Asher.
He had smoothed his hair back.
A black button-up, dark jeans, and his kutte.
And the man that was standing at his side, wait... was that?
I looked at Stella to see her cheeks were pink.
Umm, how in the world was Asher okay with this?
But I got my answer.
“Since it’s prom, figure it’s okay. Stella, you can ride Kyrian.”
Stella tried but failed and smiled big.
She’s had a crush on the man since the first time she saw him.
That was the real reason why she tried to hook me up with guys in high school.
She hoped that one of them would be good enough and would have a friend, and she would be able to work out her infatuation with Kyrian. Seeing as he was twelve years older than she was.
But she had nothing to fear compared to the age difference between me and my crush.
But my eyes were back on Kyrian, who jerked his chin at Stella.
Kyrian. A man with no last name.
A silent man who did amazing ink.
A man who did amazing ink at almost six foot four.
A six-foot-four bald-headed man.
And now I knew why he was here.
Because Kyrian was the only tattoo artist, Creature would let work on him. And Creature being Creature, who wasn’t a fan of enclosed spaces.
My eyes moved to Kyrian’s shirt, and when I saw a light blue flower pinned to his shirt, I smiled, and when I looked at Asher’s kutte and saw the same thing but a deep red flower, I smiled even harder.
Asher asked, “Are you ladies ready to go to prom?”
We both nodded.
Kyrian stood to the side, as did Asher.
Once we passed them, Stella started down the stairs, and I followed.
We made it to their bikes, and Asher leaned in and said, “The way you look in that dress, no way in hell should it be wasted. So, climb on.”
So that was what I did, but not before he said, “Mind your heels and the pipes, Chloe.”
I nodded.
The moment I was settled behind him, he said over the rumble of his bike, “Going to keep it slow so your hair doesn’t get ruined, alright?”
I wrapped my arms around his middle and said, “Sounds good.”
I looked over at Stella, who had her eyes on me, and she mouthed, “Oh my gawd.”
I giggled, and thankfully, it was drowned out by Asher’s bike.
When we pulled out of the driveway, we were met with ten members of Zagan MC, along with Hugo, Archer, and Hale, the other three artists that make up Badd Motha Ink.
As we passed the entrance to the school, I was kind of shocked. The parking lot was half full.
But what I thought was funny was that we passed a restaurant, and I saw Brett walking in front of Karla.
Did anyone tell her she looked like the big bird on that show Sesame Street?
Geez, she needed some new friends.
Once we made it to the clubhouse, Asher backed his bike in and then shut it off.
Placing my hand on his shoulder, I carefully stood, then watched as he moved and looked me up and down, “Yeah, hair is still good.”
I smiled up at him, “Thank you, Asher.”
He nodded, “Just don’t revert to that Mr. Hendrix shit. Alright?”
I giggled, then nodded.
Stella was walking at Kyrian’s side; however, she stepped closer to me, wrapped her arm in mine, and whispered, “Can we freeze time, please? I wanted to remain on the back of his bike for the rest of eternity.”
I snickered, not saying that I wanted to do that too with Asher.
We walked into the clubhouse, and we both stopped and stared.
The entire clubhouse was transformed with fairy lights.
The tables and chairs had been moved.
The dance floor was created.
Little paper lanterns hung from the ceiling.
Little plates and cups littered the bar top with what appeared to be finger foods.
Asher and Kyrian stepped around us and headed farther into the main room of the clubhouse.
Just then, I heard a squeal.
I was shocked when I saw Casey, Nora, Poppy, Lizzie, and Maria. I looked at Stella, who was smiling.
“Texted them while you were doing your finishing touches. They thought the gym was a bad idea, too.”
I nodded.
Just then, Whit came over the speaker and said, “Will the following ladies please report to the men who have a flower that matches the color of your dress?”
I smiled.
Together, the seven of us headed to the dance floor.
Stella went to Kyrian.
Nora went to Trigger.
Casey went to Pagan.
Lizzie went to Irish.
Maria went to Priest.
And I went to Asher.
He wrapped his arm around my waist, I placed my hand in his, and then the music started.
The seven of us busted up laughing when the song Good Girls Go Bad came on.
Asher leaned down and whispered, “I’m glad y’all didn’t go.”
I lifted a brow and whispered back, “And why is that?”
He shrugged, “Because if anyone made you uncomfortable, they’d be six feet under.”
I felt a chill sweep over my spine.
And I had to fight the urge to lean up on my tiptoes and press my lips to his.
God, but I wanted nothing more.
Stella. Stella. Stella.
This was insane.
I know the words my mother said to me.
But how much longer would it be until I reached my breaking point where this man was concerned?
After we danced and danced and danced, and drank so much punch and danced some more, we were all fielding calls and texts asking where we were.
We weren’t telling a soul.
We danced for so long that I had to take my heels off and go barefoot.
But what had me close to crying was the last dance of the night when a song I’d never heard before started playing, and Asher tugged me onto the dance floor.
And when he sang these lyrics, I will wait for you, Til’ the sun burns into ashes and bows down to the moon I will wait for you ... I knew... I knew I had just reached my breaking point.
I searched those lyrics, found the song, and listened to it while I cried myself to sleep.
***
And for the next year, even though I tried to distance myself from the club and Asher, I didn’t miss anything that took place.
A nomad had returned to the club a man named Pipe.
And instant sparks flew between Pipe and Gabby.
I was so happy for her.
And even more so when they got married and they were currently waiting to welcome their son into the world.
Also, Coal finally claimed Adeline.
And yes, Irish finally pulled his head out of his behind where Sutton was concerned. He had to do a lot of groveling, but I was so glad that she was back.
And the daughter that Irish never knew about and was abandoned at the gates of the club was cute as a button. The bond that Sutton had with Maisie was something out of a fairytale.
I couldn’t be happier for them all.
But I wanted what they all had. What they had all found, which was why, over the next couple of months, I had tried to distance myself even more from wanting and needing to see Asher every day.
But I had done it.
Thankfully, since we had graduated, and Stella was in cosmetology school, and I was in school for accounting since I loved numbers, we didn’t go to the clubhouse all that often.
So, I didn’t see him all that often.
But I did allow myself to text Asher with random thoughts.
Like last week.
Me – How is a banana a berry, but a strawberry isn’t?
Asher – Excuse me?
Me – Yeah. According to Google.
Asher – Berry is in its name.
One week later...
Me – Did you know that octopuses have three hearts?
Asher – Fuck. That would make for a hard surgery.
Three weeks after that.
Asher – Why aren’t you coming to the clubhouse?
Me – School is kicking my behind.
Asher – You want to lie to yourself, alright? But don’t lie to me.
Me – Okay. The reason behind it is mine alone.
Me – Want to tell me why you were covered in blood a few days ago?
Asher – Can’t.
Me – Right.
I missed him.
God did I miss him.
Stella looked up from the new products she missed at my sigh, one I didn’t realize I had let out, and asked, “Everything okay?”
I nodded, “Yeah. Just thinking.”
She nodded, but I caught her looking at me with a questioning brow.
I sighed, “Okay, I like someone. But it can never happen.”
And she replied with a simple phrase my mama has told me before, too many times to count... “Never say never.”