Chapter 1
ROWAN
My stomach grumbles so loudly it yanks me out of a deep sleep. Though food isn’t my first thought. I throw my arm across the bed. Empty. Of course it is. It should be, but that doesn’t mean I’m happy about this now regular revelation.
Well, regular as of the last ten or so days.
It’s been two weeks since Malrik showed up at NightShade and detonated my entire life with a single conversation. Two weeks since he admitted not only that he’d been influencing Iris for over a year, but that he has my mom.
Or most of her.
My chest tightens every time that thought crosses my mind, which is roughly every other minute, give or take the occasional distraction.
Most of her.
What the hell does that even mean?
After dozens of conversations with Liz, Cade, Archie, and my father…
I still don’t know. No one does but Malrik.
And that truth pisses me off hourly.
Along with the fact that we’ve all surmised Malrik spelled her to trick her doctors into thinking she had cancer. At least that’s what Liz believes. That the bastard made her magically sick, so when she “died”, she didn’t stay dead thanks to her Hollowborn genes.
I mean yay, but also what in the hell is wrong with that sick bastard? It was months of hell for her, going through treatments only to watch her grow weaker. All so that I would be left to my own devices and finally go see my grandmother?
I knew there was something wrong with that sorcerer, but I would have never guessed he was that twisted.
Now, I know better, which is why I’m desperate to get my mother back.
I’m trying—really trying—to find my patience. To figure out my place in this world and what I’m supposed to be doing besides waiting to remove the ick that Malrik has left behind. Because it’s not enough. Not by a long shot.
I thought I knew who I was, but these days of sitting and feeling so helpless have me losing grip on my sanity. I don’t know what’s expected of me. Not here in this pack, not out there with the rest of the supernaturals who may or may not still wish to see me rolled up in a body bag.
Okay. Fine. I have a lot going on. And I might not be handling it particularly well. Especially when I wake up every morning, alone, in Cade’s bed, in Cade’s pack.
Our pack, Wolf corrects as I get out of bed in search of sustenance. Just remember, you’re handling all this better than Iris at least.
I huff. She’s right about that. My grandmother has gone full bunker mode since Malrik removed his influence from her—a feat I’m convinced he did purely out of spite.
The guilt hit Iris like a freight train, and instead of exploding, she folded in on herself.
Shut NightShade down temporarily, came with us to the pack, and then proceeded to lock herself away in one of the pack’s cabins, keeping all the windows and doors tightly shut.
That’s also made Liz rather mouthy. She’s furious that she didn’t notice the changes in Iris. I’ve tried to explain that she wasn’t meant to—that Malrik planned it that way—but no one is listening to anyone right now.
At least not out of the three of us.
We’ve become a group of miserable women united by two clear goals: kill one very old, very smug Ashmark sorcerer, and get one extremely important woman back, hopefully still whole.
A snarl rips from my chest as I nearly take the bedroom door off its hinges. One deep breath in, one ragged breath out.
I really need to get a hold of myself. Maybe I’ll find Archie—he’s either been scouting the pack or hibernating in the living room lately unless I need him. Which I have, a lot, but I’ve been trying to be better these last couple of days.
Still, before I search him out, I need…
The aroma of bacon and sausage and eggs and even toast hits me like a physical force. Before I know it, I’m running the ten steps toward the small kitchen to find Cade standing there with a plate in his hand and a frown on his face.
“You were supposed to stay sleeping,” he says with a glower. “I was bringing you breakfast in bed. An apology for leaving so early all week.”
And just like that, all my anguish and fury drains out of me as I close the distance and throw myself at my mate.
Cade sets the plate aside without a second thought and wraps me up tight, like he’s anchoring me in place. “Is everything okay?”
I shake my head against his chest. “But right in this moment, it is.”
His hands move slowly over my back, steady and unhurried, and I melt into him. I could live right here—forehead tucked under his chin, world reduced to his warmth and breathing—if I didn’t know too many people would eventually come looking for us.
And that none of them would give us a minute of peace once they found us.
“How are things with the pack today?” I ask, finally forcing myself to step back, because I’m not the only one carrying around a bucket full of existential dread. “Any new threats to worry about on this fine Thursday morning?”
Stephanie had made it sound like the Solara pack would welcome us with open arms.
That sneaky she-wolf lied.
We showed up just a few days after officially shutting NightShade Manor down for the time being, and stepping onto pack lands felt like slamming face-first into a brick wall. Not hostile exactly, but not welcoming either.
Sure, there have been friendlies, but for the most part, people are pissed that Cade has chosen to show up now. In their eyes, it’s not for them, but for his mate.
While that’s partially true. I am the reason Cade isn’t running anymore, but I’m not the reason we’re here.
Because if it were up to me, we’d have gone straight back to Glacier Crest Pack and to The Keep.
I’d have broken through every spell and door and found my mother, and then I’d have Malrik’s head mounted on a wall somewhere that I can shoot arrows at whenever the mood strikes.
But no.
We’re not there. We’re here. For them.
Well, that’s a lie. Cade is here for them, and I’m here for Cade.
I won’t go back to that hellish castle without my mate. I’m smarter than that, and he’s somehow grown more patient than me, promising me that if we do right by our people, the rest will work itself out.
Easy for him to say. It’s not his mother that’s potentially being tortured. Either all of her or just parts. Who the hell knows at this point?
How about you pay attention to our mate instead of wallowing in your own sorrows today? Wolf says blandly.
Son of a…
Again, she’s right.
Cade’s halfway through talking about the pack, and I scramble to catch up.
“…but Elias was there and managed to get Bradley to shift back,” he’s saying. “They’re still looking to him as alpha, which I understand, but this is harder than I thought it would be.”
I take both of his hands, squeezing gently, trying to shove my guilt down for zoning out. “It’s getting easier, though. Right?”
Gods, I hope so because Cade is working himself to the bone trying to fix the mess he left behind, and he deserves to know it’s making a difference.
He shrugs. “A little. I just don’t know how to prove to them that I’m here for the right reasons.”
“What if I left and you stayed?” The moment the words leave my mouth, I hate them, but it’s not the first time I’ve suggested this particular brand of a terrible plan. “I already told you I could take Iris and Liz back to NightShade and—”
“No.” His answer is as firm as it’s been every time this conversation comes up.
“I wouldn’t be able to focus on the pack if you were gone.
As it is, I’m already struggling with knowing we need to find your mother.
But I promise, I have every resource I can gather, doing what they can to track her for us. ”
It’s not the same as doing it myself. And every instinct I have screams that staying here is wrong. But I really am trying to be smart about this, even if I’m being a little pouty.
A little? Wolf retorts, but I ignore her.
There’s no forgetting that Malrik wants me for something. And whatever that is, it has to be the only reason he revealed the information about my mom. He wants me emotional and angry. He wants me to make a mistake.
But I’m not going to.
I refuse.
Not only for myself and those around me, but for her.
If my mother’s alive, she’s going to stay that way. Malrik wouldn’t be stupid enough to kill her now. Not when proof of life will be the first thing I demand if he tries to negotiate with me.
“It’s okay,” I tell Cade, forcing my voice to steady. “I know I’ve done a terrible job of climbing out of this funk, but I agree with you. Rushing into The Keep is probably exactly what Malrik wants, and I won’t give him the satisfaction of knowing he has the upper hand.”
He cups my cheek, his thumb warm against my skin, holding my gaze like he can see straight through the fire to the disaster underneath. “You’re going to make an excellent luna as soon as we sort all of this out.”
It’s something he’s said more than once now, and every time it catches me off guard. Especially when I’ve been hiding out in this cabin, instead of staying in the pack house, convinced my presence will only make things worse for him with the pack.
So much for my little speech back at NightShade going over well. All that certainty went down the toilet and straight to the sewer lines once we showed up here, and a group of elder members greeted us with glares before giving us their backs and walking away.
Ah, I love my life so much right now.
My stomach rumbles again, loud enough to betray me, and Cade hands me the plate. “Eat. Then we’ll go for a run.”
“It’s okay,” I say quickly. “I can go with Marius and Liz. I know you’ve got things you need to do.”
“And taking care of my mate is one of them.” His tone leaves no room for debate.
Still…
“You’re really going to rob Liz of the joy she gets from outrunning Marius again?”
He snorts. “Why that vampire thinks it’s such an accomplishment to outrun a shifter who’s weakened from being away from his pack is beyond me.”
Him and I both. But as long as someone around here is laughing, I’m not about to complain.
I shovel food into my mouth, barely tasting it as I swallow. Gods, I was starving. I have no idea where this appetite came from, but I’m absolutely not mad about it.
It’s being with the pack, Wolf informs me. You’re settling more into your animal side here, which means you’re consuming more energy, even when you’re lying in bed all day. Your body knows it needs to be prepared to protect.
She makes me sound like a lazy piece of shit, but that’s not it at all. I’m being careful.
And in this world? That might be the hardest thing of all.
I finish the last of the food far faster than I mean to and hand the empty plate back to Cade, who gives me a look that’s equal parts proud and entertained.
“Better?” he asks.
“Marginally less feral,” I reply with a toothy grin. “So yes.”
“Perfect.” He glances down at my bare legs. “How about you put some pants on and maybe a shirt that actually belongs to you, and we’ll go for that run.”
I smooth a hand over his black shirt, which fits me like a billowy dress and falls to mid-thigh. “What happened to the old adage of what’s yours is mine?”
My teasing tone earns me a smack on the ass as I hurry back to the bedroom to change. My skin’s already itching to shift, so I make quick work of pulling on underwear, jeans, flats, and a tan sweater.
When I return to the kitchen, I wave a hand down my front. “Is this better, Alpha Cade?”
That earns me a snort and a head shake as he nudges me toward the door. “Get outside before I change my mind.”
The threat makes my stomach flip-flop in the best way. We’ve still yet to have sex or talk about the whole biting one another debacle, but every night that I go to sleep with that man’s body pressed against mine…
Let’s just say I’ve dubbed myself the queen of compartmentalizing my needs over the last two weeks. All in the name of not distracting the pack’s alpha too much. But as my cheeks heat, I know I’m losing that grip quickly.
The morning air hits me the moment we step outside—cool, crisp, and threaded with pine and earth. It’s a welcome distraction.
I roll my shoulders and tug at my sleeves as I mentally prepare to shift, my gaze catching on the faint lines of ink across my chest. The golden tattoo pulses softly beneath my skin, warm and familiar now. No more fears of being left naked or forced to wear a muumuu.
Just readiness.
Cade steps away to give me space, already vibrating with wolfish energy, his attention on the trees ahead. I draw in a slow breath and let my focus shift inward, toward my inner beast, the pull of fur and muscle and instinct.
But before I allow the transformation to begin, I sense eyes on us.
Cade’s russet wolf stands ahead of me already, ears flicking in the direction I turn, but he keeps his gaze averted.
I, on the other hand, have no problem looking.
Three young wolves stand a short distance away, half-hidden near the edge of one of the outbuildings. Too old to be pups, too young to be on patrol. Their eyes are wide, curious rather than fearful, tracking my every movement like they’re half-convinced I’m more myth than anything else.
They’re watching me.
Not Cade. Not the alpha. Me.
My first instinct is to retreat. To pretend I didn’t notice and keep doing what I’ve been doing—staying small, quiet, and out of the way.
But as I hold their gazes, something in my chest shifts.
They’re not judging or furious. They just want to see the new mate of the alpha, one who isn’t an ordinary wolf like them.
They might practically be children, but seeing them here tickles something at the back of my mind.
Maybe hiding hasn’t been helping as much as I thought.
Maybe it’s time I stop pretending I don’t have a right to be here.
The thought settles deep, heavy and steady, right alongside Wolf’s not-so-quiet approval.
Well, I wasn’t going to point that out, but now that you have… Duh.
And for the first time since arriving at Solara, I know exactly what I need to do next.