Chapter 4
ROWAN
Ifeel like I’m watching my life in a movie, and the music montage is seconds away from kicking in.
Unfortunately, real life doesn’t come with a soundtrack. It comes with cold dirt under my palms, Iris barking at me like I’m a recruit who showed up late and forgot her boots, and at least a dozen wolves pretending they’re not watching from the edge of the clearing.
The afternoon has blurred into sweaty determination, side-eyed glances, and dramatic—borderline slow-motion—fight sequences. All so I can prove to Iris that while I may not have been “honing my powers” the way she prefers, I’m also not a complete nincompoop, despite her concern to the contrary.
“Again,” Iris snaps.
I groan and roll to my feet, brushing pine needles off my pants. Every muscle in my body protests as I straighten, my wolf pacing restlessly beneath my skin like she’s personally offended I haven’t let her out again.
It hasn’t even been an hour since I last shifted.
Liz lounges against a tree nearby, arms crossed, expression far too entertained for someone who promised to “take this seriously.” Archie sits perched on a fallen log, tail swinging, eyes sharp and alert despite the casual posture.
My father stands apart from them, quiet and watchful, like he’s afraid to blink and miss something important.
And Cade—I don’t look at him.
Not because I don’t want to. Gods, I always want to. But because if I do, I’ll lose focus, and Iris will make me start from the beginning again out of spite.
“Draw power from your center,” Iris continues, pacing a slow circle around me. Apparently, she’s been doing her homework on what I’m supposed to be while she’s been locked away. “Not your emotions. Not your instincts. You need control first, and strength second.”
I grit my teeth. “I already know that, Iris. And I’ve been doing it for hours now. When is it going to be enough for you?”
“When I see how long it takes you to collapse into goo,” she says cheerfully. “That’s why we’re doing it. You already proved you’re capable, but for how long? Endurance matters just as much as skill.”
Of course it does.
I draw in a breath, grounding myself the way I already know how—feet planted, shoulders relaxed, awareness turned inward instead of outward. My wolf pushes back, impatient, but she listens when I ask her to wait.
That’s new.
The ground hums faintly beneath me, the lingering energy of Solara threading through my bones. It’s subtler than NightShade, different than Glacier. Warmer and steadier, but also watching.
I feel it then—not with my magic, but with something quieter.
Connection.
I don’t have to look to know more of the pack is here. I can sense them scattered along the tree line, clustered near the outbuildings, pretending to go about their day while absolutely not doing that.
At least they’re not hostile.
But they’re no doubt wary and judging.
The thought makes my spine straighten instinctively.
“Focus,” Iris says, tapping my shoulder with two fingers. “Not on them. On you.”
Right.
I nod and lift my hands, letting the energy rise—not fast or sharp, just enough to feel its weight. The power curls around my wrists like it’s always belonged there, warm and steady instead of volatile.
“Now!” Iris shouts as she moves away from me with an efficiency I don’t expect from someone in their early seventies.
Except before I can ask what she wants from me this time, a force slams into my back.
Great. This again.
I thought we were past ambushes, but I guess not.
Liz, Marius, and Archie approach me from all sides. I stagger forward, boots skidding in the dirt as I barely stop myself from face-planting. A growl rips from my chest, my wolf surging instantly, ready to snap and retaliate.
I swallow the instinct down, knowing what Iris wants to see before the tiny tyrant is done with me.
Control first. Strength second.
Liz grins, already adjusting her footing like she’s about to enjoy this far too much. Marius’s expression is grim, all focus and apology in equal measure. Archie—traitor that he is—offers me a quick wink before circling wider in his oversized form, cutting off my escape.
“Nonlethal,” Iris calls out. “And if you crack open the dirt again, Rowan, I swear I’ll make you start over.”
My eye twitches. It was a tiny crack.
I pivot just in time to block Liz’s strike, her elbow grazing my ribs as I deflect instead of countering. The impact still jars through me, pain blooming sharp and bright, but I stay upright.
Marius comes next, faster than he looks, shoulder dipping as he goes low. I jump instead of bracing, twisting midair, and landing hard behind him. My knee protests, but I push through it. Though not in time.
Archie lunges, and his hit slams me back so hard that I lose a fraction of control. The tether within me—the one that seeks to destroy in order to protect—lashes out. The force sends him skidding backward with a startled yelp.
I don’t worry. I know he’s okay.
Even with that fleeting lapse, I still know who I am and who he is to me. I’d never truly hurt him, but I have no qualms about putting that sneaky ferret in his place.
“Hey!” he protests. “That was rude.”
“You’re attacking me,” I shoot back. “Rudeness is implied.”
Liz doesn’t wait for banter. She barrels in again, this time aiming to take me off my feet entirely. I let myself fall.
On purpose.
I roll with the momentum, dirt coating my hands as I sweep her legs out from under her and scramble back up before she can recover. Power hums under my skin, eager now, pushing for release.
Not yet.
Marius grabs my arm from behind, his grip iron-clad as he tries to pin me. My wolf snarls, instincts screaming to shift and tear free.
Instead, I breathe.
I pull my energy inward and then redirect—a controlled burst that doesn’t explode or shatter, just pushes.
Marius stumbles back, surprise flashing across his face as he catches himself before falling.
Silence ripples outward.
I feel it before I see it—the pack’s attention is sharpening, curiosity tipping into something heavier.
Archie comes at me again, faster this time, claws flashing. I duck under him, catch his tail, and twist just enough to send him sprawling without injury.
I could finish it.
I could knock them all flat. I can feel the power coiled and ready, begging me to prove it.
But I don’t.
I step back instead, lowering my hands, forcing the energy to settle even as it claws at me to be used.
“I’m done,” I say, breathless but steady. “That’s all you’re getting.”
Liz freezes mid-movement, disbelief flickering across her face, while Marius straightens slowly, and Archie begins to shrink back down to normal size.
Iris studies me for a long moment, then she nods once.
“Good,” she says. “You didn’t break. And more importantly—you didn’t need to win.”
My lungs burn as I finally let myself exhale fully.
Only then do I risk a glance toward the tree line.
No one looks away now.
And for the first time since we arrived at Solara, I don’t feel like something they’re waiting in fear of.
I feel like maybe they’re learning to understand.
Cade finally comes over to me, pride shining in his eyes even though his mouth stays set in a serious line. He slips an arm around my waist, healing and warm, before turning his attention to Iris.
“Isn’t it time for you to go back to your cabin?” he asks flatly.
She smirks. “You wish, furball.” Then she steps closer and takes my hands in hers, her grip firm and unyielding. “We’re going to get your mother back. You’re ready.”
I’ve been ready, but I don’t point that out. I also don’t agree with her because I need Cade to be ready as well.
As much as the thought of my mother suffering twists something raw inside my chest, I won’t put her in more danger by charging back to The Keep alone.
Or without every advantage possible.
Including my mate in the right headspace.
Cade steps in front of me, effectively cutting Iris off, and cups my face with both hands.
His touch is gentle, reverent even. “You did really well,” he says quietly.
“And I think it was good for the pack to see that. I’m going to wrap up a few things, then we can have dinner together, if you’re up for that. ”
I nod, suddenly eager for more time with him than I expect. “I’ll see you soon.”
Our kiss is much too quick for my liking, and I watch him walk away, taking in the way his muscles bunch beneath his shirt and how his jeans cling to his very fine ass.
Gods, I’m really losing my grip on control in at least one area of my life.
As you should be, Wolf offers, and I can practically see her smug grin in my mind.
Of course, she isn’t helping my hormones any. That beast has a one-track mind.
I briefly consider taking her for a run, but Iris scampers off first, muttering something about “witches and frog’s feet,” leaving me alone with my former attackers.
Liz looks entirely unapologetic. Archie climbs me like I’m a tree, scrambling up my torso to wrap himself around my neck, while Marius—bless him—steps forward with an actual apology.
“I’m sorry,” he says. “Iris wouldn’t relent, and even though I don’t always agree with her, part of me needed to see you’d be okay too.”
That was something I’d already guessed as well. Iris wasn’t just testing my ability. She was confirming I wasn’t about to get myself killed by thinking I’m better than I am.
I smile at him and stroke Archie’s back. “At least nobody got hurt.”
The ferret scoffs. “Speak for yourself. You zapped me.”
“And you charged me,” I counter. “I’d say we’re even.”
“We’ll see about that,” he murmurs before settling in more comfortably.
Liz steps forward and pulls me into a tight hug. “I’m so proud of you, Rowan. You’ve been doing everything right.” She pulls back just enough to look me in the eye. “You’re reminding me what smart choices look like.”
It’s easy to forget sometimes that Liz was my mother’s best friend when she looks my age—especially when she’s being extra snarky—but moments like this allow the truth to slip through.
Her hazel eyes are bright with knowledge and care, and I can see just how deeply she loves me, more like family than friend.
And how fiercely she wants my mother back.
Just like I do.
“Who wants to come back to the cabin and help me cook dinner?” I ask, mostly because I don’t want the day to end yet.
Liz shakes her head. “Sorry, Ro. I need to get out of here for the evening.” She glances over her shoulder, lips pressing into a thin line.
“I’m happy to be here for you, but I need some space from all the wolves.
One more snide comment about being a bloodsucker and I might be tempted to prove them right. ”
That makes me frown and growl at the same time. “I didn’t know. I can ask Cade to—”
She cuts me off with a raised hand. “I’m a big girl. I can handle this myself.” Her expression softens. “But I also know when I need a minute. Don’t worry. I’ll be back by sunrise.”
With a quick wave, she heads toward the trees, her steps lengthening until she’s nearly a blur.
“Dad?” I glance at Marius. I’ve only called him that a handful of times so far, but the sheepish grin that spreads across his face every time I do makes it easier to get used to.
“I can barbecue for the two of you,” he offers. “I’m sure Cade would appreciate a good steak after everything he’s been dealing with.”
I chuckle. “Probably. I was going to be lame and do pasta.” I hook my arm through his before he can object. “Now you’re committed. You have to help and stay to eat.”
I tug him toward the cabin, letting the quiet settle between us before curiosity gets the better of me. “So, I’ve been wondering something.”
He looks down at me with those deep brown eyes and a warm, patient smile. “What’s that?”
“Will you have to go back to Stoneclaw at some point?”
The words feel like ashes in my mouth. Cade mentioned my dad being weaker because he’s been away from his pack for so long, and the idea that I might be making things worse by keeping him close makes my stomach twist.
“Funny,” he says slowly. “I was hoping we could talk about that.”
My chest constricts. Damn it. I’m not ready for this. I’m not ready to say goodbye—even temporarily.
“How would you feel,” he continues carefully, “if I asked Cade and Bram about transferring to Solara?”
I stop walking.
My mouth opens, then closes. Absolutely nothing useful comes out.
“I’m going to assume that silence is either very good or very bad,” he says with a nervous laugh. “But if it’s a problem, I’ll understand.” He looks away. “Actually, forget I even said anything.”
“No.” I grab his arm and force him to face me. “Absolutely not.” My voice wobbles as I throw my arms around him. “That’s the best news I’ve heard all week. Thank you. I’d love that more than anything.”
He lifts me off the ground in a tight hug, my feet barely touching. “I love you, kid.”
“I love you, too.”
The moment is perfect. Right up until Archie’s claws dig into my shoulder and I yelp, stumbling back.
“Sorry,” the ferret mutters. “I was about two seconds from falling.”
I’m so used to his weight there that I forgot he was with us.
I pat his back. “It’s okay. Go back to sleep.”
I loop my arm through my dad’s again, and together we head back to the cabin to cook a dinner we all deserve.
We need each other now more than ever, and I won’t truly rest until my family is whole again.
That future is too important to let slip through my fingers.