Chapter 13
A n entire month of sleeping with Joel. Thirty days. Twenty-nine nights.
This was bad. Really bad. And the worst part was, every day she woke up and told herself that the night before was the last time. She’d repeat those words all day. At work. In the car. Then, where did she go at the end of the day?
Straight to Joel’s house.
This was how addictions worked, right? She was addicted to Joel Dawson.
Al gave her a tight smile as he set the last of the flowers down before rushing out of Bloom. He’d been doing that every delivery since her little rant a few weeks ago, almost like he was afraid of her small talk.
Great. She was scaring off her suppliers and sleeping with Joel Dawson.
Her gaze shifted to her mother and Jonah on one of the sofas. They’d come early because they wanted coffee before their day trip to Bozeman for a hike. She didn’t blame them for not wanting to hike here. Not many people were risking it at the moment.
Every day, every coffee she made, every single one , made the same question flicker in her head—was this for the killer? It could be. Based on the to-go cup in the abandoned mansion, the killer drank her coffee.
“Polly?”
She jumped and looked up to see Deputy Eli Cox on the other side of the counter. “Hi. Sorry. I didn’t see you come in.”
“That’s okay. Everything all right?”
“Just thinking about those poor women.” The door opened and Maureen stepped into the café. Polly glanced back at the deputy. “I heard the cup was lost.”
Every part of her rebelled at the sentence. Lost. Like it was a shoe or a hat, not critical evidence in a murder investigation.
Cox cringed. “Ward took it to the station in his car but doesn’t know what happened to it after that.”
It was hard to keep the scowl off her face. It wasn’t bad enough that he rarely did his job properly, now he was actively losing evidence.
“The usual?” she asked, trying to keep her voice steady.
“Thanks.”
He stepped back as she slipped the tab onto the coffee machine, where one of her girls was already making coffees.
Maureen smiled at her as she took Cox’s place. “Good morning, Polly.”
“Hi, Maureen. Ginger tea?”
“Yes, please.”
Polly wrote the order on the slip before looking up again. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Do you know if Jenna Hampstead was seeing anyone?”
Maureen didn’t flinch at the question. “I heard rumblings of a new relationship. But she was very private and didn’t share that kind of information freely.”
Great.
Maureen leaned closer. “Polly, I’m not saying this as a psychic but as your friend. You need to drop this. Sometimes, the price of an answer is too high to pay.”
Yeah, curiosity was not her friend, but she’d never been someone who could just leave things alone. “I appreciate the advice. But until they actually find her killer, I’m going to keep digging.”
Maureen sighed before stepping away.
She truly had to force the smile for her next customer. “Need something else, Jonah?”
He stepped up to the counter. “I just came over to say that your coffee is divine.”
“Oh. Thanks.”
“And not just your coffee, this café. Your mother told me you built this with no help from her.”
“It’s my baby.”
“That’s truly amazing.”
Well, wasn’t he complimentary today. “I appreciate that.”
He smiled before lowering his voice. “Your mother and I would love to have you over for a meal. I hope you’re not staying away on my account.”
And there was the real reason he was up here. She’d gone through a lot of the “let’s improve the relationship between you and your mom” guys. Too many. “I’ve just been busy. In fact, I have to head out now.”
He frowned. “Your café only opened half an hour ago.”
“Perks of being a boss with employees. It was nice seeing you. Have fun in Bozeman.”
She grabbed the coffees that her barista had just finished and popped some almond croissants into a paper box before rushing out of Bloom.
She’d taken coffee and food to Joel and the guys a couple of times in the last month. A small gesture to show them how much she appreciated the work they were doing to find this killer.
She parked beside one of the five trucks in the dirt parking lot. Her gaze lingered on Ethan’s truck for a moment, Maggie popping into her head. Maggie, her best friend. The woman who she shared every aspect of her life with.
Only, she hadn’t told her about the fact she was still sleeping with Joel.
Guilt gnawed at her insides. The same guilt that had been there for weeks.
Before she could talk herself out of it, she lifted her phone and called her friend.
Maggie answered on the second ring. “Hey. I was just thinking about you. Are you at Bloom?”
“No.”
There was a pause before Maggie laughed. “Okay, are you at home?”
“I’m at the old firehouse.”
“You are? To visit Joel?”
“There’s something I haven’t told you.”
“Should I be scared?”
Her nose wrinkled. “I didn’t just have sex with Joel the one time.”
“O- kay . How many times have you had sex with him?”
“A lot. A month’s-worth-of-sex kind of lot.” She scrunched her eyes shut.
There was another pause, and she could almost hear her best friend thinking. “Wow.”
“Yeah, wow.”
“Are you?—”
“No. Not dating. Just sleeping together.”
“Huh.”
Polly’s eyes flashed open. “What does that ‘huh’ mean?”
“Nothing.”
“No, that was a loaded ‘huh.’”
“Well, I mean, you never sleep with the same guy for this long. You barely have a second night with the same guy.”
Her fingers tightened around the cell. It was true. It was how she protected her heart. “I know.”
“I’m guessing you didn’t tell me before now because you weren’t ready to hear what I thought.”
Yup . “I am now though.” Kind of.
“I think this is great. Joel seems like a really awesome guy, and if you’re going to d?—”
“Don’t use the ‘d’ word!”
“Okay, if you’re going to share a month’s worth of sex with a guy, Joel seems safe. I know he used to be a chronic dater, but he seems different now. And anyway, it doesn’t mean you’re marrying the guy.”
This is why she’d called her best friend. Because she’d needed to hear that. Sleeping with Joel didn’t mean she was marrying him. It was still just sex .
A knock tapped on her driver’s-side window, and she turned her head to see Connor standing there.
“I have to go,” she quickly rushed out. “But thanks. You always say what I need to hear.”
“Say hi to the guys for me.”
Polly grabbed the coffee tray and bag of croissants before climbing out of the car. “Hi.”
“Hey, Polly. Can I help you with that?”
She handed him the coffees. “One of those is for you.”
He grinned. “I was hoping you’d say that. You’ve made my morning.”
“No. That’s the caffeine. Just make sure you eat your croissant before Joel gets to it. I swear that man has a bottomless pit for a stomach.”
Connor laughed. “Yes, he does. He ate three lunches yesterday.”
She threw her head back and laughed.
“I heard you’ve been seeing a bit more of him.”
She tensed. She shouldn’t be surprised he knew. They worked together and the guys were his best friends, so they probably told each other everything. It shouldn’t bother her. “We have…been seeing each other more.”
“I know the situation with his parents is complicated, but don’t let that deter you. Okay?”
The situation with his parents? She opened her mouth to ask what that situation was, but he continued.
“ You are what he wants.”
She frowned. As opposed to what?
But it was too late to ask, because they were already stepping into the old firehouse, which was full of the team. All except Joel.
Joel studied the photos. On one side, there were five women dating back twenty-five years. On the other side, the four most recent women who’d all been killed in the last year.
Was it the same killer for all of them? Had the psychopath escalated? Or were these two separate cases?
The team had stuck the photos and bios on a pinboard in a back room of the base. They didn’t want this out in the open area where anyone who walked in could see it and question what they were doing. They were supposed to be search and rescue, not doing the sheriff’s job.
But how the hell were they supposed to let this go? They couldn’t. Not until the string of women being taken ended.
He was about to step out of the room when his phone rang, his mother’s name on the screen. He canceled the call.
“Hope that wasn’t anyone important.”
His gaze shot up to see Polly leaning against the doorframe, to-go cup in one hand and a croissant on a plate in the other. “How long have you been standing there?”
“Long enough to know that frown between your brows is going to become permanent if it sits there any longer.” She pushed off the frame and came to stand beside him, her eyes scanning the board.
For a second, confusion flickered over her features. But he saw the exact moment it clicked into place what she was looking at.
“All these women?” she asked, disbelief coating her words.
“Yeah.”
Her chest rose on a deep inhale as she focused on Jenna. “They’re all beautiful.”
Joel wouldn’t know. The woman beside him took too much of his attention.
But the sadness on her face…fuck, it gutted him.
He stepped in front of her to block her view. “Is this for me?” Without waiting for a response, he slipped the cup from her fingers and sipped the hot liquid. Damn, her coffee was always perfect.
“Well, it is now.”
He curved an arm around her waist. “You wouldn’t share with me if it was yours?”
She lifted a shoulder. “Depends how much I like you on any given day.” She set the croissant onto a side table.
“Considering you’re visiting me at work, I’d say you like me a lot.”
“I tolerate you.”
He chuckled before lowering his mouth to her neck. “There is not one part of that sentence that I believe.” He nipped her skin.
She gasped.
“You know what this thing between you and me feels like?” he whispered.
“A terrible lapse in judgment that I’m really enjoying?”
He laughed again. “No. A relationship.”
She stiffened, then pushed at his chest. He didn’t step back, but he did lift his head.
“We are not in a relationship,” she asserted.
“We’re having sex.” A kiss to her temple. “We’re eating together every night.” A kiss to her cheek. “And every morning, I get to wake up with you in my arms before we shower together. Sometimes, you even bring me coffee and food at work. That’s a relationship, Sunshine.”
A bit of color drained from her face.
“Hey.” He set the coffee down and cupped her cheek. “You’re safe with me. Your heart is safe. Your body. Even that sass you throw my way is safe.”
She swallowed, her chest rising before she said quietly, “I don’t feel safe.” It was probably the most honest she’d ever been with him. It felt like both progress and a huge kick in the gut.
“How can I fix that?”
“I don’t know. Maybe time.”
“Then let’s take our time.”
She nodded, and he was just lowering his head to kiss her when the ringing of his phone cut through the room again.
Goddammit. He checked it and, sure as shit, it was his mother.
He silenced the call and shoved it back into his pocket.
Polly frowned at him. “She calls a lot.”
Yeah, Polly knew, because his mother had called numerous times while she was around. So had his father. He wasn’t ready to share why yet. They’re relationship was too new, and she was too unsure of it for Joel to reveal all the details of his messed-up family.
“She does.”
“Why?”
“Because she wants to control my life and can’t handle that I’m not letting her.”
Polly nodded, but she was still looking at his phone.
“Come on.” He took her hand. “Let’s get out of this room and go for a walk in the woods.”
She frowned. “Is that safe?”
“Didn’t you hear? I’m a former SEAL. I’m elite. I’m like the Rolls Royce of bodyguards.”
She laughed and rolled her eyes. “Okay, but I’m not sure how that big head’s going to fit out the door.”
“I’ll make it work.”
She was still laughing as they headed down the hall and outside. Joel was pulling the door closed after him when his phone rang again, but this time it was an unknown number.
He answered. “Joel speaking.”
“Hi, Joel. It’s Bronte.”
Every muscle in his body pulled so fucking tight, he thought one might snap.
If Polly wasn’t here, he’d talk to her. Tell her exactly what he thought of her calling his number. But Polly was here.
“I’m busy.” Two words. Then he hung up.
Polly frowned. “Everything okay?”
“It’s fine.”
It wasn’t fine. But now wasn’t the time to tell Polly the truth. Soon though, if he got his way, things would change, their situation would actually be labeled a relationship , and he could tell her everything.