102.
Am I panicking right now?
Yes.
Is it because Ravi has been staring at my lips since we woke up?
No.
Is it because I just realized I probably shouldn't have said all that stuff to Ravi's mother yesterday?
Definitely.
Right now, we're both standing outside her room.
"Stop staring," I said quietly. "This isn't helping, Ravi."
"Well, do you want me to talk to her?" Ravi asked.
"No... I mean..." I rubbed the back of my neck. "I don't know. Aren't you nervous? This is definitely going to be awkward."
I leaned against the wall.
Ravi shrugged. "It's not like we're going in there to discuss marriage."
This idiot.
"I can do that too, if you want," he added casually.
"You really don't know when to stop, do you?" I sighed. "What are you even going to say to her? That I lost my mind yesterday and started spitting nonsense?"
"No," Ravi said calmly. "I'm going to tell her how much you mean to me."
I blinked.
How much I mean to him?
That felt... wrong. Too much. Too real.
"Ravi..." I exhaled slowly. "I'm sorry, but do you really think whatever happened yesterday is going to lead us anywhere?"
"Why not?" he replied without hesitation. "It definitely will — if we want it to. I'm not scared to take a step forward."
He paused, then looked directly at me.
"You are."
Right.
I'm scared.
Scared to lose someone again.
"You're scared because it's me," Ravi continued quietly. "You're scared because I work for Shaurya and I can't even guarantee my own safety. You're scared that someone actually likes you... romantically."
He held my gaze.
"I know you well, Khurana."
And that scared me even more.
Because he was right.
"But I can guarantee your safety with my life," Ravi said.
I shook my head immediately.
"It's not worth it if it costs your life," I said. "I want you... alive."
The words slipped out before I could stop them.
I didn't even care what it sounded like.
Ravi's lips curved into a small smile.
"Progress," he whispered.
"It would be better if we talk to her now," Ravi said. "But give me a kiss first. I need some motivation."
"Motivation my ass," I muttered.
Ravi rolled his eyes.
"Can I please kiss you, Yug?" he asked again — this time sounding oddly sincere.
I paused.
It suddenly hit me how rarely he actually called me by my name. Hearing "Yug" from his mouth felt... strange.
Strange, but not unpleasant.
"Better?" Ravi asked softly.
I gulped, looking up at him.
I can't believe I'm standing here with my mind racing in a hundred different directions while Ravi Haider towers over me.
He's definitely not my type.
Men bigger than me? Gross.
But this is Haider.
And for some reason... I actually liked kissing him. And he doesn't needs to know that.
He grabbed m face lightly and gave me a quick peck on my lips.
Ravi smiled immediately and let out a satisfied sigh. This asshole. I wiped my lips.
"I didn't consent for that!"
Then he held out his hand for me to take.
"Definitely not going to help," I said, rolling my eyes. "Just go inside."
Ravi shrugged and slowly pushed the door open.
Inside, his mother was praying.
We waited quietly.
After a moment, she finished and opened her eyes, noticing both of us standing there.
"Oh... what are you both doing here so early?" she asked as she stood up and folded the prayer mat.
"We have to leave early," Ravi said.
"Why? Abhi to aaye ho. Kuch din aur ruk jaate," she said with a small frown.
"I have some work to take care of. He's busy as well. Right?" Ravi said, glancing at me.
I nodded.
Ravi's mother sighed.
"Alright. But come back soon. You too, Yug," she said, placing the prayer mat back in its place.
I glanced at Ravi, then back at her.
"Umm... Aunty," I began, fighting the nervousness creeping into my voice. "I actually wanted to talk to you about something..."
She walked closer to us and studied both our faces carefully.
Then suddenly she said—
"Is it about the two of you wanting to marry each other?"
My brain stopped working.
"No— no, absolutely not—"
"No, no, no."
Both Ravi and I said it at the same time.
I let out an awkward laugh, glancing at Ravi. He was almost glaring at his mother.
"Shayad aapko sadma laga hai," Ravi said, gently placing his hands on her shoulders and massaging them as he stood behind her.
"Tu chup kar," she snapped at him. Then she looked back at me. "Then what is it about?"
"Umm..." I cleared my throat. "I shouldn't have spoken to you like that yesterday. I was wrong when I said that you don't really know your son. You're his mother. Of course you know him better than anyone. I'm really sorry if that hurt you."
A small smile appeared on her face.
"I'm not hurt at all, dear," she said kindly. "You only said what you believed was right. And I like that you care about my son."
Care about him?
Ravi?
Right...
"I'm just surprised that Ravi broke his promise," she continued thoughtfully. "He has always respected me and done exactly what I ask of him."
I looked at Ravi.
"I don't understand what you mean, Mrs. Haider," I said.
She stepped slightly aside, gently stopping Ravi from holding her shoulders.
"He promised me he wouldn't bring a man home as his lover," she said, her eyes shifting toward Ravi.
I froze.
Right.
Ravi had mentioned before that he wasn't allowed to marry a man.
But wait—
Does she think we're... lovers?
What the—
"Do you like him so much that you're willing to break your promise?" she asked Ravi.
Ravi looked at me.
I quickly shook my head, silently begging him not to say anything stupid.
"Yeah," he said anyway, nodding without hesitation.
His mother sighed softly before turning toward me.
Then she took my hand.
The gesture was gentle — familiar.
Exactly the way my own mother used to hold my hand.
Without realizing it, I tightened my grip slightly.
Something in my face must have given it away, because the frown on her face slowly disappeared.
Her eyes softened.
"I don't know how much you know about us," she said carefully. "You two have only just met and—"
"He knows everything, Ma," Ravi interrupted with a small smile.
His mother's eyes widened slightly.
She looked at both of us again, studying our faces.
"He knows about my past," Ravi said quietly.
"About everything that happened to me. He knows about our family.
.. all the things I once thought should never be shared with anyone.
You're right — we've only just met. But somehow, it was easier for me to talk about our past with him. He's... different."
"And you have no problem with any of that?" she asked, turning to me.
"Why would I?" I replied. "Whatever happened to him wasn't his choice. It was his fate. I prefer focusing on the present." I hesitated for a moment before adding, "He's really... I don't know how to explain it properly... Dil ka bohot saaf hai yeh."
Ravi immediately gave me a smug look.
"Yug," his mother said softly, her voice trembling, "I have already lost one of my sons. I don't want to lose another one. I only request you to—"
Her voice broke.
My heart dropped.
If she ever finds out what really happened to her son... she will hate me.
Ravi must have noticed the tension on my face because he quietly stepped closer to me. His hand brushed lightly against my back.
"Don't think about it", he whispered before he moved to his mother's side and held her arm gently.
"Ma..." he said softly. "You'll definitely lose me if I don't get to stay with him. Mere Khuda ne mujhe jeene ka aur ek mauka diya hai. I want to live with him."
Ravi... stop talking. You're making this harder for me.
"Yeh mera ishq hai, haram nahi. Aur yeh ishq hi meri Khuda ban jaayega," Ravi said.
"Ravi..." His name slipped out of my mouth before I could stop myself, as if somehow I could make him stop.
I didn't want to hear this.
I didn't want to believe that someone could actually like me.
I wasn't used to it.
And maybe I didn't want to get used to it either.
I felt my eyes sting, and I quickly shook my head again, trying to keep myself together.
"I like him. A lot," Ravi said.
And that was it.
I walked out of the room.
I knew I wouldn't be able to face him if I stayed any longer.
Some people might think I'm overreacting. After all, he only said he likes me.
But some people don't understand what that word means to someone who has never truly heard it in their entire life.
Not like this.
Not when there isn't a lie behind it.
Ravi isn't lying.
He definitely isn't.
It's strange—we barely know each other. And yet he cares about me.
He actually cares.
And there he was, standing in front of his mother, speaking his heart out without hesitation.
I'm scared.
Everything is moving too fast.
None of this was part of my plan.
But then again... wasn't I the one who asked Ravi to stay close?
Wasn't I the one who pulled him into this?
I chose this.
"You'll cry for the one you love."
My mother's words suddenly echoed in my head.
At the same moment, Ravi stepped out of the room.
He held out his hand toward me.
"Yug."
I instinctively took a step back.
A flicker of fear crossed his eyes.
"Yug," he called again, softer this time.
I looked at his face... then at the hand he was offering me.
Without thinking any further, I reached for it.
I'm not letting this go.
Our fingers slipped together, and I tightened my grip around his hand.
Ravi pulled me closer to him.
"Bas aise hi humse door na jaya karein," he said quietly.
I looked up at him.
For a second, neither of us said anything. His eyes were fixed on mine, steady and searching, as if he was trying to read every thought running through my head.
Ravi loosened his grip on my hand slightly, giving me the chance to pull away if I wanted to.
But he didn't let go.
And neither did I.
"Why weren't you afraid to say all that in front of her?" I finally asked.
Ravi tilted his head a little, thinking.
"I don't know," he said with a small shrug. "She's not a witch, probably."
A breath escaped me before I could stop it.
"Gadhe ho yaar tum," I muttered, stepping closer and resting my forehead against his chest.
His shirt smelled faintly of me. Wait...has he started wearing my cologne now?
For a moment he went still, almost surprised.
Then his arms slowly came around my back.
One hand settled between my shoulders, warm and steady.
It's crazy how quickly I got used to his touch.
The same hands I once found creepy now made something inside my chest soften.
My heart felt... calm.
"I'm scared," I admitted quietly, my voice muffled against him.
"I know," he replied just as softly.
I pulled back a little and looked at him again.
"Don't fucking do this to me, Haider."
His eyebrows drew together.
"Do what?"
I shook my head, exhaling slowly.
"Nothing."
For a moment the corridor fell silent again.
"It did feel like I was talking about our marriage in there," Ravi said suddenly, almost thoughtfully. "I guess that's what it'll feel like when I actually do."
My head snapped up.
"Shut up."
Ravi chuckled softly under his breath, clearly amused by my reaction.
"I'm serious," he said after a moment. "I want to be honest. Should we take this forward? I want to know what you want."
The question hung in the air between us.
I hesitated.
"I..." I paused, rubbing the back of my neck. "Do you really give me a choice? You always decide things for me anyway."
Ravi shrugged like it wasn't a big deal.
"I don't think I did anything wrong in there."
Our hands were still together.
Without realizing it, our fingers slowly slipped between each other again, interlocking naturally.
His thumb brushed lightly against the back of my hand, absentmindedly.
"Excuse me?" I scoffed. "You're a creep. You don't even know the meaning of the word 'privacy.'"
Ravi smirked, that familiar arrogant curve appearing on his lips.
"So," he asked casually, "will you give me a chance?"
My throat suddenly felt dry.
I cleared it awkwardly.
Then I nodded.
Just once.