Chapter 3
Chapter Three
Abby wasn’t having the best of days. It wasn’t as bad as the night before, but it still wasn’t that great.
Thea had come by the house to pick her up and take her and Julia to the pediatrician.
Her friend had offered as soon as Abby called to tell her what had happened. Abby didn’t even have to ask for help.
The fact that she’d planned to ask in the first place meant that she was getting better at it. Or at least taking that first step. Julia was fine, not even a bruise or a bump. But it never hurt to be careful.
Abby hadn’t slept at all the night before and had just lain in her own bed with Julia wrapped up beside her, sleeping.
The fact that her baby girl could sleep so well after everything that had happened at least made her feel a little bit better.
Julia hadn’t been scared, and in reality, the accident hadn’t been that bad.
Abby had probably hurt herself more falling on ice, and had hurt herself more that way now that she thought about it.
The morning at the pediatrician’s had taken time out of her day.
Julia was now at the babysitter’s—not with the Montgomerys since Abby hadn’t had the time or the brain power to ask about that yet.
But she would do it soon, though maybe not today since she was still trying to catch up with everything else.
Abby owned the teashop on her own and didn’t have any help, so Thea had sent over one of her workers to help Abby and open the store for her.
Abby was so grateful, but she hadn’t been able to actually voice the words with as much emotion as she wanted to.
She knew she had to hire someone to help her, and that was in the plans for the next quarter.
The fact that she couldn’t take any time off for her daughter without closing the store meant that things needed to change.
She hadn’t been able to even think about doing that during the first months of her business, but now, things were different.
They had to be.
And speaking of different, she couldn’t help but think of Ryan.
She held back a groan.
He had been in the right place at the right time, and she knew that they lived close to one another, but she hadn’t known there was a chance that he could be exactly what she needed him to be.
He’d calmed her down and hadn’t said anything that might’ve put the blame on her.
Of course, it hadn’t been her fault. She’d been driving at precisely the correct speed, but her mind still kept going to what could have happened if things had gone differently.
Or if things had gotten worse.
Ryan had been there for her, had shared hot chocolate with her, and…had given her a look that worried her. Not one where she thought he meant her harm, but one that indicated there might be something between them.
Maybe she was thinking too hard about it. Her system was already on overload thinking about her daughter and the accident. But every time Abby looked at Ryan, every time she thought of him, she couldn’t help but wonder why her mind went to him in the way it did.
There was just something about him that drew her to him. She shouldn’t be drawn in, not with how their friends were all connected.
She and Ryan were friends, and all of their friends were friends. He worked close to her and lived even closer. Having anything more than what they currently had was a recipe for disaster.
But it didn’t help that she just couldn’t get him off her mind.
Her sleepless night had been spent lying in bed, holding Julia close, not only thinking about the accident but also thinking about Ryan and the way that he looked at her and tried to take care of her.
The bell over the door rang, and she looked up to see Adrienne walking in, a smile on her face.
“How are you feeling, babe?” Adrienne hugged her close but then took a step back. Abby was still getting used to the way the Montgomerys touched, the way they were constantly hugging and making sure that the people around them knew that they were cared for and thought of.
The Gallaghers and Max had been the same way. Max was always holding her, brushing her hair away from her face. He was constantly touching her, showing her that he loved her.
She missed him with every passing hour and thought of him every single day. She would think about him for the rest of her life, regardless if she went on dates with other people, no matter that she was thinking about Ryan.
Max would always be a part of her. Trying to find out who she was in this new life of hers had already taken its toll.
“Okay, what are you thinking about?” Adrienne moved closer, and Abby could hear the worry in the other woman’s voice.
Abby shook her head, organizing the tea canisters in front of her. “Nothing. Or maybe too much.”
“Is Julia okay? Are you?”
“She’s fine. A little hyper since I let her have too much sugar this morning because I was feeling bad.”
Adrienne snorted and then leaned across the counter. “Daisy is the same way sometimes. I think I spoil her more than Mace does, and that’s saying something.”
“Daisy is anything but spoiled.” Daisy was Mace’s daughter from a previous relationship, and she’d just started living with Mace full-time after Daisy’s mom left.
Now that Adrienne was in Mace’s life as more than just a friend, that meant that Adrienne and Daisy spent their days together now.
Abby liked the way the new family seemed to be working, even though they were going slow to make sure that Daisy was happy.
But that little girl was perfect. Just like Abby’s daughter.
“I’m okay.” Abby said the words again, mostly to convince herself, but Adrienne just looked at her.
“And if it’s not the accident, why wouldn’t you be okay? What were you thinking about when I walked in?”
There was something about the way the Montgomery girls spoke to her that always pulled Abby out of her shell.
They weren’t harsh, they didn’t push. But they were always there.
Abby was never alone when it came to the Montgomerys.
She knew she should be grateful, and she was, but she wasn’t sure how she could say these next words.
“I was just thinking about Max.”
Pity didn’t enter Adrienne’s eyes, and for that, Abby was grateful. There was a deep sadness there, though. And even though Adrienne had never met Max, she had heard enough about him over the last few months to know where Abby was at emotionally. Or at least where she had been before last night.
“Do you want to talk about him? Or anything? I don’t have a client for another hour, so we could sip some tea and just talk.”
Abby looked around, noting that while the store might be empty, she had a few online orders that she needed to take care of. But she could take ten minutes to talk with her friend. She could use those ten minutes to try and get her thoughts in order.
“I’d like that. But can we just stand out here if that’s okay? I want to be sure I’m here in case a customer walks in.”
“I get it. Ryan and Shep are over at the shop taking care of their own clients. Mace is coming in later, but he’s on kid duty today.”
“You know, speaking of kid duty…”
Adrienne’s eyes widened, and then she clapped her hands, bouncing from one foot to the other. “Have we worn you down? I knew we would.”
Abby rolled her eyes. “If it’s okay with you, I’d like to be worked into the schedule. Especially this next quarter once I hire someone to actually help me at the shop.”
“I can’t wait. We’ll work with spreadsheets. Not that I’m the best with spreadsheets, but Roxie and Shea are really good at them.”
As accountants, Shea and Roxie had heads for numbers and schedules. If they could help Abby with trying to make sure she did as much as possible without running herself ragged, then she’d take it.
“So…” Adrienne began. “What’s going on?”
“I loved Max. I still love him. I’m going to love him forever. It’s just hard trying to figure out exactly how I’m supposed to feel when, sometimes, I just want to say it’s okay to not feel.”
“I’ve never gone through what you have, so I can’t really tell you what to feel.
But then again, even if I had been through it, I wouldn’t tell you what to feel.
If you want to miss Max and still move on?
I think you know what you’re doing with that.
And I like the man that I’ve learned through you, and the way you talk about him around Julia.
I think he would have wanted you to figure out this new person you are. ”
Abby smiled, stirring her tea. They had gone with an herbal, fruit-infused tea that was a little too summery for the season, but she’d needed to think about something a little peppier than the cool winter.
“I’ve dated. Well, I’ve been on two dates.
I didn’t wear my ring. I couldn’t. I didn’t even get married, so I only have the engagement ring to begin with.
We were waiting for Julia to be born before we got married. ”
“I know, you told me. And I love that ring. I’m glad you keep it in your tray on your desk.”
“That way, it’s always with me at work. I used to keep it in my wallet, but then my wallet got too heavy, and it hurt to think of.
I keep it here, and then I take it home with me.
I don’t know why I do that, but I’ll find a pattern that works for me.
I’m never going to forget him. And I don’t want to.
But it’s just…it’s just weird starting over. ”
“And is there someone that you want to start over with?” Adrienne’s question was probing, but it wasn’t malicious. They were just two girlfriends talking about what-ifs in relationships. Abby hadn’t done that in forever, hadn’t allowed herself to. Maybe it was time she tried.
“Not really. I just…I don’t know. It’s just a little hard.” She wasn’t going to tell Adrienne about Ryan yet. Or ever. Those were just weird thoughts that didn’t have anything to do with anything anyway.