Chapter 7 #2
She was keeping her voice low, but they were at the special corner table where Thea knew that others couldn’t really hear well.
It’s why she always sat them there. Abby didn’t mind, and she knew that if any of the men came in for sweets, she would just pretend that she totally wasn’t talking about having sex with Ryan.
She also knew that she couldn’t stay here long and talk about it, because one of Thea’s part-timers was working over at the tea shop, picking up hours that Abby could barely afford.
They were testing it out, and Abby was doing her best to not think about it.
But, hopefully, it would work out, and the new person could get some needed money while Abby got some needed help.
And if she kept thinking about work and money, maybe she wouldn’t blush as hard when she thought about Ryan.
“Hello?” Adrienne said, waving her hand in front of Abby’s face.
“We need the deets.” Adrienne grinned, and Abby rolled her eyes.
“I’m not giving you details.”
“Um, yes you are,” Thea said, grinning. “We gave you details.”
“And yet I’m a little worried that we know way too much about each other’s sex lives.”
“At least you have a sex life,” Kaylee muttered and then looked over at everyone, her eyes wide. “Forget I said that. This isn’t about me, this is all about you and Ryan.”
“Oh, we’re going to come back to that later,” Adrienne said. “But we’ll let you slide. Just for now. Because I know Abby needs to get back to the shop, and we need to know exactly what happened with Ryan. Every single little detail you want to share.”
“You shouldn’t have added the you want to share part,” Roxie said, smiling for the first time. “Because now she’s just going to tell you nothing.”
“Fine, I’ll tell you a little.”
“Oh, don’t say little when we’re talking about sex with Ryan,” Adrienne said, grinning.
“Fine.”
“And don’t say fine,” Thea put in.
“If you would like me to continue, I’ll actually tell you something. Or if you’d just like to keep cutting me off, I’ll go have some tea in my shop.” Abby smiled as she said it, and everybody rolled their eyes, leaning forward as if they were afraid she might whisper what she had to say.
Well, considering she was about to whisper it all, she didn’t blame them.
“It was everything. I didn’t know I was going to sleep with him until it was happening.
And he was kind and sweet and sexy as hell.
He didn’t make me feel like I was doing anything too slow or fast or wrong.
Not that I was doing anything wrong, but there was a moment there when I realized that, yes, this was my first time since Max, and while I wasn’t comparing, I had that clutch.
That little heart twinge that said, ‘Okay, you can do this. You like Ryan. And you’re not cheating.
’ And I wasn’t. And he looked me right in the eyes, and I knew that he understood what I was feeling.
I didn’t know I could ever feel like that.
I didn’t think I could ever have that connection.
And I know that there were no promises made, and I don’t know what’s going to happen next, but I don’t regret it.
Not even a little. Because he made me happy.
He does make me happy. And even if we just remain friends after this and never go on another date, even if we never sleep with each other again, I know that he was exactly what I needed, and what I need right now.
I don’t really know what’s going to happen next, but he made me happy. And I guess that’s all that matters.”
All four women were wiping tears from their eyes, and Abby didn’t realize she had let a few tears fall herself until Roxie handed her a napkin.
“I’m glad that you’re happy,” Roxie whispered.
There was such longing there in that statement, so much yearning that Abby reached out and squeezed her friend’s hand.
Roxie met Abby’s gaze and then pulled her hand away, obviously not quite ready to tell the world what was going on with her.
Then again, Abby was just now getting used to telling the world about herself.
“So, he made you happy, but did he make you happy?” Adrienne emphasized the last word, and everyone giggled.
“Yes. Multiple times. If you must know, he’s very good at what he does.”
She lifted her chin, trying to look haughty. The rest of them just laughed.
“And on that note, I have to get back to my store, but I love you guys. Thank you for letting me talk to you about things that I didn’t know I would ever be able to talk to anyone about.
Thank you for just letting me be a dork.
Because I don’t know exactly how I feel, but I know that I’m okay feeling what I feel.
And that’s because of you guys, and because of Ryan.
And on that note, I’m going to head out. ”
They all stood up, helping Thea clear off the table so she didn’t have to do it on her own. Then they hugged and kissed before Roxie and Kaylee left to their cars, and Adrienne walked part of the way to Abby’s store, stopping at her tattoo shop on the way so she could get back to work.
That left Abby alone at Teas’d when she sent Thea’s part-time help back to the bakery. She reminded herself once again that everything would be okay.
She was sore in all the right places, warm in others. She didn’t know if she would ever see Ryan again outside of work and maybe hanging out with the Montgomerys. Because although they had talked about it a bit, she didn’t really know for sure.
Did she want to see him again?
If she thought about it, the answer was yes.
She did. But she didn’t want to rely on that, didn’t want to put too much pressure on Ryan. She knew he had secrets, knew he had scars that he didn’t want to talk about. But then again, she was just getting used to talking about her own.
She didn’t know if she wanted to fall in love again. She had been in love, and it had hurt so bad to lose it that she was only now clawing her way out of the abyss.
And though she knew in her mind that sleeping with someone and going on dates didn’t automatically mean you were falling in love, Abby wasn’t really good at casual dating. She hadn’t even slept with Max on their first date, but she had with Ryan.
She wasn’t the same person she had been before, wasn’t even the same person she was two days ago at this point.
But she was trying to figure it out.
She didn’t know what would happen next, and even though that worried her, it kind of thrilled her at the same time. She had so many schedules and lists when it came to her life and Julia, so many things that had to be done because she was a single mom and because she had lost Max.
But now she was trying to live in the moment, even if she wasn’t really good at it.
She was learning.
One soft memory of Ryan at a time.
A few customers came in, and she helped them with their tea and their purchases, grateful that she would probably end up in the black for the month. She had been bringing in profits all year, and she did her best not to do a little dance in the middle of her shop and jinx it.
When the bell over the door rang again, she turned, smiling as Ryan walked in. She knew her smile was wide, and though she tried to rein it in so she didn’t look like a dork, she knew it wasn’t working.
She just looked at him and smiled even more.
There was definitely something wrong with her.
“You look nice,” Ryan said, coming over to her. He didn’t put his hands in his pockets this time, didn’t stay away as if he didn’t want to touch her. Or like he thought he couldn’t.
Instead, he put one hand on her cheek and brushed his lips against hers. She closed her eyes, trying not to moan. He was so soft, and yet so hard.
And in this moment, he was hers.
She didn’t mind that there might not be moments after this.
And if she kept telling herself, she’d be okay with it.
“You don’t look too bad yourself,” she said. “I say that often when it comes to you. I need to think of new lines.”
“I like hearing what you have to say.” He tucked her hair behind her ear.
“I’m in between clients right now, but I thought I’d stop by and say hi.
I know you were over at the bakery with the girls.
I hope you had fun.” He raised his brow, and she knew that he knew exactly what she and the ladies had talked about.
“I should feel embarrassed, but I have a feeling you know.”
“Know that you and the girls were talking about our date last night? Yeah, I know, and I don’t mind. The guys asked me about it, and I didn’t go into detail, but I did say that we went on a date.”
“I might have gone into a little bit more detail,” she said, cringing.
Ryan laughed, that deep belly laugh that went straight to her core. “See? And now I’m going to have to look Adrienne in the eyes later today and know that she knows something that I’m not sure I want her to know.”
“I’m sorry, Ryan.”
“Don’t be sorry. I’m just kidding with you. And I did come over here for a purpose.”
“Peppermint tea?”
He shook his head, and her stomach filled with butterflies again. “I like the tea, but I think I like you more.”
“You think?” Once again, her voice was a whisper. And not because she didn’t want anyone to hear. Because it was just her and him, just them in the space.
“Oh, I know, but I didn’t want to sound too forward.”
“I don’t mind, at least about that.”
“Good, then let’s do it again.”
“The sex? Or when I talk about Max for hours?” She hadn’t meant to blurt that out, but here she was, being a dork again.
“Either. Both? And you didn’t talk about Max for hours. I just want to get to know you. I mean, I know you, but I want to know you more. And I want to go on another date.”
“I think I’d like that.”
Before they could say anything else, the bell over the door rang, and both of them turned.
When Ryan suddenly put his body between her and the person coming through the door, his shoulders going back, and his hands fisting at his sides, she knew that something was wrong.
And she knew that this might end badly.
“What are you doing here, Michael?”