Chapter 23
ASHTON
I wake up cold. I remember falling asleep warm with the feel of her hair against my face and the smell of her shampoo in the air. I already know she’s gone before I even open my eyes.
My head is throbbing and my mouth is dry, but I force myself to sit up.
Out of the corner of my eye, I notice a bottle of water on my nightstand and two painkillers.
That’s when it all comes back to me, but it’s fuzzy.
I remember passing a joint back and forth with Declan before most of the guests arrived.
I don’t smoke often, so it hit me pretty hard.
Then I texted Allie, but she didn’t respond.
So I texted her again. And again. She was either ignoring me or something happened.
Either way, I couldn’t seem to get my shit together.
So I started taking shots. Admittedly, not my best idea.
I knew it was her birthday from her employee file.
It’s not like I was stalking her or anything.
I just looked to see if her full name really was Alexandra like I had originally guessed.
Then I also happened to notice her birthday.
I remember Emory telling me once that Allie hates being acknowledged on her birthday, so I wasn’t even going to say anything.
By the time she showed up, I was already past the point of no return, and who knows what I ended up saying. I try to go through our conversation in my head. I remember her being mad about something, and then we ended up in the pool house.
Shit. Shit.
I made that comment about the pills.
Of all the ways to bring that up, why did I have to do it at that moment?
While I was drunk and we were arguing and it was her birthday.
I’m such an asshole. Of course she didn’t stay.
Still, she drove me home. That I remember.
I also remember trying to sleep on the stairs, but our conversation after that is still blurry.
I grab my phone and take it off the charger.
She must have plugged it in for me. I have eight missed calls.
Two from Declan, one from my sister, and five from my dad.
He’s been trying to reach me for weeks now, and I can’t even find it in myself to feel guilty about ignoring him.
He knows I’m alive because I read his texts, but I don’t respond.
There’s nothing from Allie, though. I can’t really blame her for leaving in the middle of the night after what I said in the pool house.
I shoot off a text to her and then tap on my sister’s name. Cassie picks up on the third ring.
“Hey Ashtray,” she chimes. My sister is always in a good mood.
“Do you think now that we’re both in our twenties, we could maybe get rid of that nickname?
“Nope,” she says, popping the “p.”
“Okay, Cassie Bear.”
“Oh, come on!” she yells. “I had a tiny obsession with stuffed bears for a little bit.”
“A tiny obsession? You had over a hundred Care Bears at one point!”
“Whatever,” she dismisses me. “What’s up with you and Dad?”
“Cwover!” I hear a tiny voice squeal in the background.
“I’m getting to that, sweetie,” I hear Cassie tell her three-year-old daughter, Willa. “Uncle Ash has some explaining to do first.”
“He’s pissed that I left the company, Cass. You know that.”
“Well, he’s been trying to reach you, and now he’s starting to call me. And Mom…when was the last time you talked to her? Without you around to set up on dates, she’s hounding me for another grandchild.”
“Shit, I’m sorry, Cass. I’ll call them.” My sister has already given up so much. Married at eighteen. Pregnant at nineteen. Mother of a three-year-old when she’s practically still a kid herself.
“You better,” she scolds. Yeah, she may be a ray of sunshine ninety-nine percent of the time, but you don’t want to be around when that one percent comes out.
“Anyway,” she says, back to her cheery self. “Willa wants to know how Clover is doing.”
“She’s…” Oh, shit. Did I even feed her last night?
I can’t remember. I jump off the bed and run down the stairs to the study.
Clover perks up when I enter the room. She’s nibbling on a piece of alfalfa, and there’s a half-eaten bowl of rabbit food in her cage.
I breathe a sigh of relief, but I’m still confused.
I don’t remember feeding her. Then it comes back to me.
Allie must have fed her before she left. I somehow always knew she would have a soft spot for animals.
“Well?” Cassie prompts me.
“See Cwover!” Willa yells.
A FaceTime call comes through and I answer it, my sister’s long brown hair coming into view.
I always forget how similar we look. Same color hair, same freckles, similar eye shape, but hers are blue.
Being that we’re only two years apart, people assumed we were twins growing up.
She smiles, but she looks tired. Being shoved into adulthood before you’re ready will do that to a person.
“Hey sis,” I greet her even though we were just talking. It’s been way too long since I’ve seen her face, not to mention my niece. “I see you finally decided to join us in the twenty-first century.”
“Ha-ha,” she deadpans. “My flip phone may have fallen into the hot tub, and before I could order a new one, Owen changed my number over to this ridiculous thing.”
“I see.”
“Anyway, she wants proof of life.” Cassie rolls her eyes, dismissing me.
“Okay, okay.” I flip the screen around so Willa can see Clover’s cage, but I can still see Cassie. Willa comes into view, sitting on her mom’s lap. She squeals in delight and claps her hands when she sees her pet bunny.
“Tanks, Uncle Ash,” she yells into the speaker. My sister moves her back.
“He can hear you. You don’t have to yell, baby girl.”
I smile at my niece’s innocence. My sister may have been pressured into a lot at a young age, but the look on her face when my niece was born was love like I had never seen before.
“Are you having fun in Nantucket?” I ask Willa.
“So much fun! Mommy bought me cotton candy and ice cweam. Daddy couldn’t come because he had to talk to his sociates.”
I chuckle at her trying to say the word ‘associates,’ but I hate hearing that my brother-in-law isn’t even taking time off to be with his family on vacation. That’s part of the reason I left Tyler Hotel Corp. I was working nonstop. It felt like I had no time to just live.
“That sounds like a blast,” I tell her. “I love you, Will. Can you put Mommy back on?”
“Wuv you!” I hear her little feet scamper off, and my sister comes back into view.
“She looks so much like you,” I say.
Cassie sighs. “She may look like me, but she’s fearless. I wish I could stand up to people the way she does. She told one of the partners’ wives that she was mean because the lady told her that little girls shouldn’t catch frogs.”
I snort out a laugh. “Sounds like Willa.”
“The woman was so mad that she stormed out of the house with her cocktail still in her hand.”
“I love that girl.”
“How could you not?” she replies. “Anyway, I should let you go. Please call Dad back.”
“I will, I promise.” I shift the phone to my other hand. “Hey, Cass?”
“Yeah?”
“You’re fearless too.”
She gives me a half-smile and says her goodbyes.
That’s when another fearless woman comes to my mind. I check my messages to see if any came through while I was on the video call.
Nothing.
I guess it’s time to go on an apology tour.