Ask Cassandra
Dear Cassandra,
It’s been over a year since you wrote to me, and I’m not sure if you’ll remember me. I’m the guy whose new wife ran away with someone else, six hours after the ceremony. When you first replied, you asked me to keep you and your readers updated. I didn’t, because even though your response was exactly what I needed, I was also deeply ashamed when I realized how much of my life I’d spent telling myself the story of being left just after the altar.
I followed your advice. I got therapy. I stopped telling women the story of The One Who Left, and at first I was actually surprised when I got to go on more dates, and they were more fun for everyone.
I mean it, I really was surprised. But since not telling other people the story helped, I stopped telling myself I was the one left behind.
Now I don’t even think of myself that way. I think of myself as starting a new chapter in my story. My life has changed a lot since I wrote to you, for both good and bad. But the good things have been pretty good. I left my job, I moved, and I’m working on several new and interesting projects. At first they felt like pushing a boulder uphill, but now I wake up every day excited to get to work.
And I’ve also met someone I think could be the real deal. It’s maybe too soon to say for sure (and too soon to tell her about The One Who Left—see, I’ve learned!) but she’s incredible; smart, funny, amazing in bed, and kind. Genuinely kind, the type of kindness where she doesn’t keep things from me because they might hurt my feelings, but acts with honesty because she trusts and respects me.
I don’t know if we have a future (there are a few complications) but I do know I want to explore the possibility of one with her. Without your advice, I might never have gotten here, so thank you.
Seriously. Thank you so much.
Yours,
Looking Forward (formerly Left Behind)