Chapter 10
Christmas Eve.
Everything was ready.
Olivia checked on Zoe in her cot. One happy, sleeping baby. And she switched on the baby monitor.
As she stepped onto the landing, Kate’s voice came from Bea’s room reading the Christmas story Bea chose for bedtime every single day of December, so that Olivia knew it by heart and that they nearly finished.
Across the hallway, she heard Ralph’s deep laugh talking to a friend on the phone while playing an online game.
She smoothed down her soft, grey wool dress, out of nervous habit rather than any crease, clutched the velvet box in her hand and quietly padded down the stairs to the ground floor, while everyone was out of sight.
She’d carried the ring in her coat pocket all week, not wanting Bea to discover it in a drawer while she hunted around the house for Christmas presents.
She’d had a minor panic when Kate had lingered by the kitchen coat hooks one morning. She swore Kate studied something in her hand that, from a distance, looked remarkably like a blue ring box. But when she checked her coat later, the ring was safely there.
But her wait was over, for the perfect time to talk to Kate.
She breathed in, nervous, and waited for Kate in the large sitting room at the back of the house.
Lights off. Curtains open onto a starry night.
The decorated Christmas tree reached the top of the high ceiling, and its lights cast a gentle glow over the room, reflecting on the windows and adding to the stars.
She’d rehearsed what to say, whichever way this conversation headed. Reassurance that everything could stay the same, if that’s what Kate wanted. The financial repercussions if they married and making sure Kate’s two older children felt comfortable and supported. How to protect everyone.
She sat down and tucked the ring box beneath the sofa.
Another deep breath, and long exhale.
Ready.
***
This was it.
If Kate was ever going to get a quiet moment with Olivia this Christmas, it would be now.
Kate quietly closed Bea’s bedroom door behind her, Bea drifting off to sleep before the end of the book, at this late bedtime. She gently knocked on Ralph’s door and poked her head round.
Still on his computer.
“Bed!” she mouthed, not wanting to embarrass him on the phone to his friend.
“Gotta go,” he said, and tapped his mobile.
“Get to sleep, please,” Kate whispered.
“Mum,” Ralph moaned.
“I need you to have a good night’s rest.”
“Why?”
“Because...” Reasons. “Santa doesn’t deliver presents if you’re not in bed.”
“I’m a long way past believing in Santa, Mum,” he ridiculed.
She gave him a look. “I'm Santa. Now get to bed.”
And he laughed, diving onto the bed and switching off the light.
Tonight, with all the presents except Santa’s beneath the tree, and the kids guaranteed to stay in bed, this was her opportunity.
She found Olivia sitting on the sofa in the living room, subtly lit by the Christmas tree, feet tucked up on the sofa, elegant in a soft grey dress. She clearly mulled over something as she stroked her hair behind an ear.
Kate patted her hoodie pocket to check for the ring. There. And she entered the room.
Olivia immediately swung her feet to the floor and stood up. She smoothed down her dress and held out her hand towards Kate, and Kate automatically stepped forward, smiling wide.
“Hi,” Kate whispered, and they gazed at each other.
Kate sighed, the warmth of Olivia and the festive room working magic on her. Now. It had to be now. Surely there wouldn’t be a better moment.
She cupped Olivia’s cheek.
“I want to talk to you.”
“Me too,” Olivia whispered. “I’ve been putting it off, but I need to say something.”
“Let’s sit down.” And Kate guided her to the sofa and sat on the coffee table facing her.
She held Olivia’s hands, her slender fingers dark and resting in hers. Olivia smiled at her, almost shy, as if gathering her thoughts.
“Do you want to go first?” Kate murmured.
Although Olivia had incredible levels of patience at times, and also a significant lack of it with some people, something clearly defeated her right now.
“You were surprised at those clients I was telling you about? And Maria? How they were happy with their partners after divorce?”
“Yes?”
“Why?” Olivia asked simply.
“Oh.”
Kate stared at her, heart hammering.
She wasn't expecting to be dropped into the thick of it, the question putting her on the spot immediately.
Why was Olivia asking that? She held her hands tighter.
“Do you...worry that I don’t get on with my exes?”
Did Olivia think it was a red flag, when Olivia was cordial if remote from hers.
“No,” Olivia replied, her gaze kind. “But I did wonder why it surprised you?”
Olivia asked gently, but it had plunged Kate into the middle of the subject she wanted to talk about.
Kate paused in thought. “I wasn’t surprised Maria makes it work with her ex. I know I have a terrible record with mine.”
A squeeze back from Olivia. Reassurance and love.
“It was more...” Oh, she was deep into this already. “I wondered how you keep a positive outlook with people who get divorced and married, when you see so many acrimonious cases.”
Olivia lowered her gaze.
“I don’t always. Some seem intent on making the biggest mess of it possible. But, I have to be practical and open-minded to each new case and what my client needs. And...” Olivia looked up. “Sometimes they still surprise me.”
A burst of hope. Olivia meant like Kate. That she saw a reasonable, safe person in Kate. Dark brown eyes, pupils large in the low light, gazed at her, and Kate could have lost herself in them for hours.
“Does it still surprise you?” Olivia asked. “That I’m not completely disenchanted?”
“Yes,” Kate smiled a little. “But I’m glad, because...”
She swallowed.
Deep breaths.
“Because I want to marry you,” Kate said.
“Waaaaaaaaah.”
The noise was loud, the baby monitor crackling into a wail, just as she managed to say the words.
Olivia shot a glance towards the monitor, its lights flashing as frantic as Zoe’s cry. Olivia’s expression turned distraught.
“Sorry, it’s Zoe,” Olivia said. “What did you say?”
“Oh.” God. “It’s OK. It can wait.”
“Mummmmmyyyy!”
Shit. Now Bea was awake.
“Muuuum! Zoe’s crying!”
And now came Ralph’s baritone.
“Coming sweetie!” Kate projected.
They smiled sadly for a moment, before silently acknowledging the priority and Olivia walked away up the stairs, the look back over her shoulder mournful.
And that was Kate's chance gone.
A few minutes later, she had to smile. Their quiet evening on the sofa had turned into Bea curled up on Kate’s knee, and Zoe having a bottle on Olivia’s.
Bea had her hand out to Zoe and Zoe’s little fingers wrapped around her sister’s.
Her heart went ping, always turning soppy when she caught the kids being lovely to each other.
Ralph squeezed in at the end, scrolling through Christmas films on the telly to watch, now everyone was awake and unable to settle again.
Kate gazed at Olivia, cuddling Zoe and looking back at Kate. With all of them snuggled on the sofa, she couldn’t love a bunch of people more. And she couldn’t want anything harder than to ask Olivia to celebrate this in a wedding.
“This one!” Bea pointed.
With them all focussed on the screen, Kate wanted to steal another glance at Olivia, who looked as astonishing as anyone ever had.
Oh. Olivia gazed at her. She snapped her eyes back to the telly, as if trying to hide she’d been admiring her.
Silly.
She slowly turned back, catching Olivia doing the same, amusement and desperation in her eyes. If only Kate could send thoughts straight into Olivia's mind right now.