2. Dean
Dean
“Get the fuck out, Dean!” She screamed, throwing a vase full of yellow roses across the room, just barely missing my head. “Who the fuck is she?”
Amber, my girlfriend, had been at my throat for months. Her insecurities and inability to trust me created a distance between us that I had worked tirelessly to close.
There was no one else, only her—at least, that was what I kept telling myself, but she was making it incredibly hard to want to stay.
“What are you talking about?” I had no fucking clue who she was referring to.
I repeated the same routine every day. Work, eat, sleep, repeat. Aside from stopping by her apartment every other night to puff up her ego and then leaving shortly after she had fallen asleep, I had absolutely no time to even attempt to fuck around with someone else.
Amber stormed across the room and shoved her phone in my face, displaying a text message from one of her closest friends—her only friend.
Mel: Girl, you should keep a tighter leash on your man. Pretty sure he’s sleeping around on you.
What followed the text was an out-of-context photo of me having a casual conversation with a waitress three nights ago when Marcus and I went out for drinks before being called to assist Derek in wrangling Alexis. That woman was a fucking menace…
Sure, the waitress had her hand on my arm as we spoke, but she was just being friendly.
What the photo didn’t show was the massive rock on her ring finger.
The waitress was married, so there was no flirting, exchanging of numbers, or anything remotely close to either of us being interested in each other.
“Are we seriously doing this again, Amber?” I scoffed with sarcasm as I ripped the phone from her hand and tossed it over to the couch.
“What more do you want from me? When I’m not at work, I’m here with you or back at my apartment with Marcus.
” This was getting fucking old, and I was growing tired of walking on eggshells for her .
“Move in.” She rushed out in a pleading, almost begging tone. “Prove to me that you need me as much as I need you.” Amber looked up at me with her sad, doe eyes, and all I could do was shake my head, dropping my eyes to the floor in disappointment.
While I deeply cared about her, the constant bickering and accusations had started to take its toll on me.
Three months ago, I would have said yes without hesitation, loving the idea of us being closer and taking our relationship that one step further. But now, I didn’t know if this was what I wanted anymore—what I needed—a woman who couldn’t trust me to save her fucking life.
If I wasn’t being accused of cheating, then it was not giving her the attention she so rightfully deserved. I could never win with Amber. She was always looking for ways to make me look like the sole fuck up in our relationship, and I was over it.
“Dean—”
“No.” I stepped back from her, biting down hard on my tongue. “I’m done with this—with us, Amber.”
I should have done this months ago, but I wasn’t one to quit when the going got tough—to take the easy way out. I allowed her to take advantage of me for far too long.
“Dean, please. Don’t do this—”
I was done with her manipulation tactics. Accusing me of something one minute and then begging me to stay like she had forgiven me—for what? I didn’t fucking do anything wrong. “We can fix this.” And I sure as fuck didn’t need fixing …
Amber was so quick to change her mind from believing she had proof of me being unfaithful one moment to now being afraid of losing me—too bad she lost me weeks ago.
I huffed a laugh as I turned to leave her apartment; I wasn’t fucking doing this again for what felt like the hundredth time in the past three months.
Amber gripped my wrist and tugged at my arm as my hand touched the handle.
“Please!” She begged, pulling on me as hard as she could, and I chewed my cheek in agitation before shaking her off of me as if she were nothing more than some pest.
“That’s enough, Amber.” I scolded, glaring back at her from the corner of my eye. “I don’t need to spend the rest of my life being treated like a shelter dog that needs fixing… and I really don’t need you.”
My words cut like a knife’s edge, and I didn’t give two shits.
I knew I deserved better.
Ripping open the door, I stormed out of her apartment and left for the CIA, knowing I was better off without her—telling myself I would get over the loss of someone I once thought I loved.
Fuck love…
Amber and I had been together for almost a year and a half. I met her not too long after Marcus and I transferred from the Los Angeles unit, and we hit it off almost instantly. But as our relationship grew, so did my realization of just how toxic she was for me.
Marcus had commented on it a few times, and I always just assumed he was trying to convince me to play the field like he always did—screwing around with women as if they were individual scoops of Baskin-Robbins ice cream—a different flavor for every week of the year—
“Agent Holt. My office. Now.” Deputy Director Conrad’s voice boomed across the floor as he called from his office.
I had only just stepped off the elevator, and instead of being able to vent my rage and frustration from this morning to Marcus, I dragged my feet toward Conrad’s room.
What a fucking morning this was turning out to be.
“Close the door.” He clipped as I entered. Without pause, I shut the door behind me and approached his desk. “I’ll make this quick, but what I discuss with you here doesn’t leave this room, understood?”
I nodded in silent response as Conrad tossed a black folder across his desk towards me. I picked it up, immediately opening it to see what kind of case I was being assigned. I’ve never had one issued in a black folder until now, and he had my full attention from that alone.
“What do you know about agent classified assignments?” Conrad asked, resting his forearms on the table and lacing his fingers together as I lifted my eyes from the documents .
I chewed on my cheek, recalling my previous training on assignment levels and their restrictions.
I answered him with a soft shrug, “Just that they are high profile and are considered top secret to all agents regardless of security clearance. A classified case is to be discussed with no one other than those involved in the initial assignment.” A Wikipedia definition at best, but I knew that was the answer he was looking for.
“Good, because you will work on that with Agent Avery.” He gestured his chin to the folder. Derek?
“A senior Agent? Why not Marcus?”
I shouldn’t have questioned his decision, but the words rushed out of my mouth before I could stop them. Conrad had always paired Marcus and me together for assignments, knowing we were a solid team.
“Marcus won’t have the experience you need for a case like this. Anathema is out of both of your leagues and with Agent Jensen…” He grumbled the name as if it left a sour taste in his mouth. “currently unavailable; I need you to assist Agent Avery in his stead.”
I didn’t bother arguing any further. Everyone knew Conrad’s decisions were final, and you didn’t argue with him unless you wanted to be chained to a desk for a month doing administrative work. Fuck that. The CIA was boring on a good day, and I wasn’t about to make that even worse for myself.
“You’re dismissed, Agent Holt.”
Nodding, I exited the room without another word, skirting around the floor of cubicles to Atlas’s office that Marcus and I had hijacked in his absence .
I found Marcus already inside, lounging comfortably on the couch in the corner. I rolled my eyes at him as I fell into the chair behind the desk, dropping the black folder on top of it.
“What’s that?” He inquired, arching a curious brow as he eyed it.
“Nothing.” I sighed, dragging a hand down my face. “I broke things off with Amber this morning.”
“About fucking time!” Marcus cheered as if I had just told him it was my birthday. “I told you that bitch was no good for you.”
Marcus had a knack for skipping any form of subtlety when it came to sensitive topics.
“And what would you know about a woman being good aside from in bed?” I teased, trying not to seem as agitated as I felt.
“A lot more than you, apparently, seeing as you let Amber stomp all over your balls for the past year and a half.”
“If you’re looking to piss me off even further, you’re doing a great job right now,” I growled at his mockery.
“Look, all I’m saying is you deserved better.” He sat up, holding his hands in front of him. “I watched as she sank her fangs into you for months—treating you like complete shit—like you were unworthy of being with her.”
While I knew he was right, it did nothing to brighten my mood. All I wanted to do was get the fuck out of this office and grab a drink, but now I had to talk to Derek about this new case and figure out where he wanted us to start.
“I’ve got to talk to Derek about this new assignment, but can we discuss this over a beer after work instead? ”
I needed to keep my mind distracted before I did something stupid—like run my sorry ass back to Amber—and even though Marcus pissed me off, venting to him was a better solution than doing nothing at all.
“Sure, I’ve got nothing better to do tonight.” He grinned, his eyes insinuating everything his words didn’t.
“Not to find a hook-up,” I warned, picking up the folder as I stood and stepped around the desk.
“You’ll never get over her without getting under someone else,” Marcus teased with a smirk as he licked his lips. “And you know I’m right.”
I shook my head with a contemplating grin as I left our office and turned the corner to enter Derek’s right next to ours—pretty sure he hated sharing a wall with Marcus now.
Maybe Marcus was right…