12. Marcus
Marcus
Knowing the type of woman Madison was, Dean and I shared the same bed with her last night, ensuring that if she woke up and decided to bolt, one of us could catch her before she even reached the door.
We weren’t planning on forcing her to talk to us, but we didn’t want to allow her to avoid the discussion entirely.
I felt like a complete idiot when Dean called me out on my shit last night. Finally seeing all of the things that I had overlooked the entire time Madison and I had been screwing around.
How did I not fucking see any of the signs? Why did I never even think of asking her why she always chose me?
Fuck, I never hated myself more—and here I was wishing that she would love me, and I never truly even saw her—not like Dean.
Dean had been with her for less than forty-eight hours and already saw everything I didn’t. Fuck me …
As I lay in bed next to her, with the early morning sun peeking through the blinds, I mindlessly stared at the ceiling.
Dean had every right to be disappointed with me and for calling me out on my complete fuck up. I may lead a comfortable and relaxed life, but he was never one to let me get away with ignorance—at least not if he could help it.
Was I hurting Madison more than helping her?
Madison stirred and rolled over to wrap herself around me, her leg now draped across my hips and arm stretched out across my chest as her hand gripped onto my shoulder. I let my hand rest in the dip of her side, feeling the rise and fall of her ribcage as she breathed, nuzzled up against me.
I would be better than I was before all of this. She needed someone like Dean, and I wasn’t going to sit idly by leaving him to be the only man she deserved. I was up for the challenge of meeting that same expectation— time to grow the fuck up, Marcus.
“Why’s your heart racing, baby boy?” Madison mumbled sleepily, her eyes still closed as I peered down at her. Jesus Christ, even she was more observant than me.
“What happened last night?” I asked before allowing myself to lose my nerve and avoid the issue entirely.
“What are you talking about?” She opened her eyes and frowned up at me.
“Marcus is referring to you smashing your way into our apartment like she-hulk covered in another person’s blood.” Dean yawned as he stretched out on the other side of her, rolling his wrists above his head .
Madison gasped as she rolled to her back, realizing that she was sandwiched between us, wearing nothing but one of Dean’s white T-shirts.
“You two were serious?” She gawked as her eyes bounced between us. “We’re actually—”
“Don’t change the subject. Answer the question.” Dean hummed, casually resting his hands behind his head on the pillow. “But yes—”
“As long as no one is playing favorites,” I added, glancing over to Dean, who nodded his agreement.
Madison lay there in silence, studying us as she chewed on her lip and cheek.
“Fuck…” She sighed as she ran a hand through her hair. “Where do I start?”
She didn’t have to give in to our prying, but she did, which spoke volumes about how she saw Dean and me—that she could trust us enough to talk about her problems.
“The blood.”
“The sex.”
We asked simultaneously, looking at each other before refocusing our attention on Madison, who was already rubbing her eyes with the heels of her hands with a grunt of frustration.
“Jesus Christ, you two… it’s way too fucking early for this.”
“We’ve got all day, darling.” Dean teased as he took her hand and kissed the back before rubbing over the same spot with his thumb.
“It’s Sunday,” I added with a cheeky smirk, and she rolled her eyes at both of us .
Madison reached for my hand and pulled it up to rest on her chest as she stared up at the ceiling. I could feel her heart beating rapidly against my palm.
“The blood was from a man who felt that he could sexually assault a woman and get away with it—and before either of you say anything, what the police would have done wouldn’t have even come close to justify his actions…”
“He couldn’t possibly have deserved whatever bloody mess you left him in.” Dean countered empathetically.
I never saw the amount of blood she had on her when she showed up at our apartment, but the look on Dean’s face when I got home said more than enough.
“You didn’t see the woman lying in that trauma room bed fighting for her life… I wouldn’t expect you to understand what he did or didn’t deserve.” Her voice faded as she swallowed the memory.
“Mads…” I ran my knuckle along her cheek, and she leaned into my touch, her eyes connecting with mine. How did I miss… all of this… The fact that I had never seen her until now was eating me alive.
“Sex is how I cope with… everything.” She whispered, her eyes softening as if in apology.
Madison didn’t need to apologize for using me; I never expected her to.
I was more than content to be used by her as often as she needed.
“It’s the only thing that keeps me grounded these days with Chyler gone. ”
I could feel the hurt in her words—of missing the sister that Atlas stole away six months ago .
“What do you mean by everything ?” I knew she used sex to cope with her rough days at work; that was a given, but I wondered what else was bothering her so much that she had finally snapped.
Madison never told me she was struggling or even remotely suggested it, but then again, why would she? If I had known the frequent sex was more than just what it was, I would have asked the question sooner—said something, anything.
Fuck, I felt so stupid… Here I was, seeing us as nothing more than fuck buddies, when the entire time, she had been using me as a lifeline to her sanity.
I didn’t deserve to fall for her the way I currently was. Did I even deserve her anymore?
“So obviously, you know about Chyler and her off-switch… I have one too, except mine works a little differently—” She hesitated, contemplating her words. “Sex prevents me from losing control of my impulses, at least for the most part—as fucked up as that sounds—”
“Hang on, let me get this straight…” I interrupted her. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. This insanely beautiful woman— “So what you’re telling us is that you use sex as a way to prevent yourself from going on some kind of murder spree?” Seriously?
“That’s making it sound slightly more extreme than it truly is, but I wasn’t always like this…” She admitted, her gaze dropping from mine as if ashamed of how she got here, and my heart twisted with the pain I saw in her ey es.
How in the fuck did she get to this point in her life where sex was the only thing stopping her from falling over the edge? Who the fuck did this to her?
My head was spinning with so many questions and rage for the person who manipulated Madison into being who she was. I hoped it was fucking Charlotte since the bitch was already dead, but part of me hoped it wasn’t—so that I could figure out who the fuck they were and kill them myself.
“And you—” Madison suddenly turned her attention to Dean. “What did she do to you?”
Dean frowned, looking from Madison to me as if I had told her everything about Amber. I just shook my head in response as I sucked on my teeth. Amber was his story to tell, not mine. I’d never betray his trust like that, even for Madison.
“There is no she, and this discussion isn’t about me; it’s about you,” Dean answered sharply, and Madison’s eyes narrowed on him.
“Not now, but there was—” Her voice was demanding, yet soft and gentle. “Dean, I can see the pain in your eyes when you look at me, and I know that pain all too well.” She reached over to caress his cheek. “Tell me.”
“Not now…” He sighed as he broke eye contact with her, and Madison groaned, rolling her eyes.
“Fine… I can be patient… when you’re ready to talk, I’ll be here, waiting and ready to listen, however long it takes.” She sighed before changing her tone into a sweet and innocent hum. “But…”
“But?” I mimicked her sound, curiously arching my brow .
“But—since I’ve been open and honest with the two of you this morning, why don’t you boys reward me by showing me just how well you can share?” She smirked, the mood in the room shifting with the growing hunger in her eyes as they bounced between us.
Madison seductively bit down on her bottom lip as I looked across her to Dean, who slyly grinned with a nod right before I started sliding my way down her body—a welcome distraction for us all.