Chapter Six
Valerie
I glanced at the text on my phone and sighed. Ugh, I didn’t need this on a Friday afternoon.
Mom: Valerie, don’t forget your sister’s getting her award in three weeks. You need to be there.
Me: I just started a new consulting job. I won’t be able to make it. No need to make up an excuse. This job might end quicker, but it would depend on how deep I would have to dive into their records.
Mom: Suck it up. You need to be there. Your sister needs your support.
My laughter filled the room. Thank goodness Lucas wasn’t in the office with me.
Me: She’s never needed my support. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have work to do. You and Dad will be enough for Kendall.
Mom: You have always been selfish.
If protecting my mental health was selfish, then so be it. No matter what I did, I was never good enough for my parents, who worshiped my older sister. She could do no wrong.
I’d spent the week knee deep in the financials for the company FI wanted to buy, and there was something definitely off.
Big time. I’d gotten through everything they allowed us access to, the surface information, but that wasn’t enough.
Next week would start the deeper dive into exactly what was going on.
It was almost four. I closed down my computer, put my ledger in the safe Lucas had shown me after I explained I didn’t want the ledger to go missing. Even though the office door was locked at night, I wasn’t comfortable leaving the ledger unsecured.
I nearly jumped out of my skin when the phone on my desk rang. Who could be calling me on the office phone? “This is Valerie.”
“Hi, Valerie, it’s Cassie.”
“Hey, Cassie.” We met a couple of days ago when Hazel introduced us at Daily Perks. Cassie was the director of Customer Service.
“It’s Friday, and I wanted to invite you to an afterwork get-together at the local pub. Are you interested?”
The way my head continued to spin from all the numbers I’d been reviewing, I could use the distraction. Lucas had left the office at three-thirty and told me he probably wouldn’t be back for the day; I doubted he’d be there. The last thing I needed was to be around him more. “Sure.
“Where shall I meet you?” It would be nice to get to know others at FI.
“Lobby in about ten minutes. Does that work?”
“Perfect. See you there.”
I liked Cassie. From our first meeting, her bubbly personality gave me a clue she would be fun to hang out with.
I had yet to meet her husband, Marcus, who also worked for the company.
I grabbed my purse, turned off the lights, and locked up as I left the office.
Hazel was already gone, so I stopped at the ladies’ room for a quick repair before making my way to the lobby.
Cassie was already there and talking with a handsome man beside her.
While he gave me bad boy vibes with his black jeans and leather jacket, he gazed down at Cassie with an expression of pure love.
Oh, to have a man look at me like that. My heart clenched.
Lucas had looked at me like that once, then ditched me.
What was it like to trust that look? I wasn’t sure I’d ever know.
“There you are,” Cassie said when I walked up. “Marcus this is Valerie, Valerie, my husband.”
“Nice to meet you.” Marcus held his hand out.
“You too.”
Marcus’ grip was firm and his green gaze assessing. Was he sizing me up? I stiffened and released his hand. “Where are we going?”
“The Whistle Stop Pub. It’s just down the street. A group of us like to go there on Friday nights.” Cassie linked her arm with Marcus’ as we left the FI building.
“Sounds like fun.” Maybe I could unwind after this week. After sharing an office with Lucas, my internal radar was overworked, and it needed a break.
“How is working with Lucas going?” Marcus asked.
“I’m not really working with him. Lucas does his own thing, and I do mine.” That was the truth. Now, if only I could quit being so aware of him.
“Don’t you report to him?” Marcus glanced at me.
“Nothing formal. I’ve only been here a week, and I’m still digging into the company I’m here to vet.
” I wondered at Marcus’ questions. My contract didn’t specify Lucas was my boss; he wasn’t.
Or was he? No one mentioned he was my boss.
But it made sense since he was the head of Finance.
I’d have to ask, but for now, I tucked my doubts away.
“Honey, behave,” Cassie said. “I’m sorry. He can’t help butting into others’ lives.”
Marcus opened his mouth, and Cassie tapped his lips with her fingers.
I wondered what he was going to say. Maybe I’d find out later. I tried to let it all go. It was time to unwind.
We were soon inside the pub, and I liked the dark wood and the relaxed atmosphere. Just what I needed.
“Over here,” a male voice called.
We walked over to a table set for ten, which surprised me. A man and a woman were already there. How many people were coming tonight? The man stood up as we approached.
“Asher, Emma, this is Valerie Ray. She’s the forensic accountant working for the company right now.” Cassie made introductions as she sat down.
“Welcome to the group,” Asher and Emma chorused.
I took a seat next to Cassie, which left an empty chair next to me.
“Asher and I work in IT,” Emma commented.
“Oh, thank you for the computer setup in Lucas’ office. Your systems are much more up to date than I’m used to, and I’m loving it.”
“They better be,” Asher said. “I work hard to keep up with the latest and greatest.”
Emma snorted. “More like, I made you upgrade to the latest and greatest.”
“Yes, sweetheart.”
I grinned at the banter between the two. This is how I always dreamed a relationship should be. I only had one serious relationship to go by, though, and Lucas and I had teased each other, but there was always smoldering sexual tension beneath it.
“It’s hard to keep up. Even with my job, I’m always reading financial journals, researching new ways to do things and new techniques.” To most, it was boring; to me, it was fun. I loved figuring out the puzzle of numbers.
“Just like Marcus continually reads engineering books and journals,” Cassie said.
“Are we expecting everyone?” Marcus asked.
“I think so,” Asher commented. “Miles, Josh, and Dean said they would be here.”
“What about Lucas?” Emma asked.
I stiffened. Was Lucas going to be here? Maybe I should leave right now. I could pretend I forgot about an appointment or something. Did I really want to spend more time with him? My body said yes, but my head said no.
Indecisive much?
“Not sure. He left the office early, so he might not make it,” Asher told everyone.
I relaxed. Okay, I’d stay as long as I could. The server arrived. I wasn’t much of a drinker, so I ordered a soda. We started talking, then Miles arrived.
“Glad you joined us,” Miles said to me, then moved to another chair, leaving the empty chair next to me still…empty.
I nodded. Miles ordered a drink, and when Josh and Dean arrived, I was introduced to both men. I found out they worked in Operations, which set up the fantasies requested from the clients. Conversation flowed around the table. Everyone here was so friendly, and I found myself relaxing even more.
Such an interesting group. I began asking them questions about how things ran at Fantasies, Inc.
I was curious, but all week, I’d waffled over finishing this contract and getting the heck out from under Lucas’ gaze.
Working with Lucas hadn’t been hard, but my body was aware of him every second we were together.
I didn’t know how long I could continue with the old feelings bubbling up inside me. Something was going to blow and soon.
Josh and Dean explained their process of talking with potential clients to find out what they really wanted. It took several meetings and a lot of honesty.
“I can see some people having a hard time talking about their inner needs,” I said.
“Yes,” Josh said. “Sometimes it’s hard, but they come to us for a reason.”
I could just imagine. I had some fantasies I wouldn’t mind acting out with someone I trusted, but I wasn’t sure about using a service for that. I wanted to ask more questions, but the server arrived to take our food order.
Just as we finished ordering, Lucas sauntered up to the table and took the empty seat next to me.
His leg brushed up against mine, and my nerves tingled from the contact.
Oh damn, not only could I feel the heat from his body, but it also filled the air around me and seemed to penetrate my skin, making me long to lean into him.
“Made it just in time. Beer on tap and beef sliders with fries,” Lucas told the server.
Smiling, the served replied, “You go it,” before leaving the group.
“Wasn’t sure you were going to make it.” Miles stared intently at Lucas, and I wondered how he would respond.
“I finished up what I needed to do and hurried back.” Lucas turned to me. “Hello, Valerie. I’m glad you joined everyone.”
Those darn blue eyes of his focused on me, and I almost forgot where I was. Lucas did that to me.
Be strong, woman. He’s just another man.
“I’m learning a lot.” That wasn’t a lie. Learning about the company they worked for interested me, and it gave me a new appreciation for Fantasies, Inc. and its people.
“Are you two corrupting her?” Lucas turned his gaze to Josh and Dean.
The men held their hands up. “She asked us what Operations did, so we told her,” Dean said.
“What FI does is niche, and I find it fascinating.” There was so much more to Fantasies, Inc. than I realized. But these people—and how hard they worked—explained why they were so successful.
“I’m glad.” Lucas smiled at the server as she placed his beer in front of him. “Thank you.”
“Of course.” She winked at him, then walked away.
To Lucas’ credit, he didn’t even respond to the server’s flirtation. Had he changed? No. Don’t go there. Not flirting one time doesn’t constitute change. Remember the phone call you overheard.
“How was the rest of your day?” Lucas asked her quietly.
“Good. We do need to have a chat on Monday.”
“About?”
“I found something off with this new company, even with just a light look-over.”
Lucas nodded. “Monday it is. I’m glad you came tonight.”
“To be honest, if I’d known you were going to be here, I probably wouldn’t have.”
“Why not?”
Glancing around the table, I saw everyone was talking to each other. Still, I kept my voice low. “Come on, Lucas. We’ve been working this entire week with tension thick in the office.” I took a sip of my soda. “Why did you pick me for this job?”
“I didn’t. John Boyd picked you because everyone said you were the best.”
My face flushed. “But you weren’t surprised to see me when I arrived Monday.”
“No. John told me that morning when I came in. I didn’t see any reason for you not to work at FI.”
“Is working together really a good idea?” I was doubting my own sanity for staying this week even though I found the job exciting and intriguing.
Lucas frowned. “I want it to be.” He reached out to take my hand. Not ready for that, I moved it to my lap, clutching my other hand tight to keep the desire from slipping out.
“Valerie, I know I screwed up back then. I would like a chance to…get to know you again. For you to know the new me. I’ve changed.”
“For the better?” The dig slipped out before I could stop myself.
“I deserve that, and I hope so.” He swallowed. “I’m not a bad guy.”
“I never said you were a bad guy.”
“Then why are you thinking about leaving?”
“How?”
“Hazel mentioned it in passing. She said you told her you weren’t sure if you could stay.”
I’d made the comment in passing. “Because—”
“You’re leaving?” Cassie butted in.
Everyone at the table stared at me. “Nothing has been decided.”
“But why?” Marcus asked.
I glanced at Lucas. I wasn’t sure how much he wanted out there.
“Valerie and I have a past,” Lucas commented.
I guess that was a good way of putting it.
“So what?” Josh rolled his eyes.
“Behave, you idiot.” Dean nudged Josh.
Cassie glanced at me. “Friends or romantically?”
Well, at least Cassie was a little more subtle than the others. “Both,” I said. We were friends before we became lovers.
“To put any speculation or potential gossip to rest, I take the blame for the original break up.”
I stared at Lucas. My breath caught in my throat at his intense stare. Who was he trying to convince? Me?
“It was my fault; I was scared and ran off. I’m not going to walk away this time.” His tone was as fierce as his gaze.
What the… Oh, hell no!
How dare he do this now. I’ve only just met these people, and he has the nerve to pull something like this? What are they going to think? I couldn’t come up with anything to say.
“So sweet,” Emma said as she laid her head on Asher’s shoulder.
“Maybe we should take this somewhere more private,” I told Lucas quietly. Airing our dirty laundry in front of his friends wasn’t my idea of casual Friday night conversation. And the anger was getting more difficult to suppress.
He shook his head. “By declaring this in front of my friends, I want you to see I’m serious.”
“By embarrassing me?”
“No.”
Everything in me tightened. I didn’t know what to do.
Should I believe him? Or protect my heart?
Could I do both? And there was the anger over this stunt.
I couldn’t think, and the harder I tried to process everything, the more confused I felt.
I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. My brain had shut down.
My breathing quickened as a tremor went through my body. Oh fuck, a panic attack. I hadn’t had one of these in years, yet a week with Lucas and all my insecurities came flooding back. “Excuse me.” I pushed back from the table and almost ran from the pub.
Outside, I leaned against the building, trying to get my breath and my heart rate under control. I thought I had my attacks under control or at least managed to cope with them. Having one now told me how foolish I was to allow myself to believe he’d changed.
I closed my eyes, fighting to breathe and settle my body down.
Valerie, pull yourself together. Breathe through it. He only has the power you choose to give him. You’re in control.
I kept repeating the self-help mantra. I finally got my breathing under control, and I could feel my heart rate slow down.
Finding out I was working with Lucas had set me on edge, and tonight’s declaration kicked what little stability I’d managed to re-establish right out from under me.
That vulnerability scared the hell out of me.
I took a deep breath and stood straighter. The past was over. I’d survived the heartbreak. Regardless of his declaration, I wasn’t going to give him the opportunity to hurt me again.