Chapter Eight
Valerie
Cassie and Emma stood on either side of me as I leaned against the wall outside the pub.
“Breathe, in, hold, and now out,” Cassie encouraged.
I hadn’t expected them to follow me out, but I was grateful they weren’t Lucas.
I had no idea what I could say to him. I’d promised myself I wouldn’t get involved with him again.
That I wouldn’t give him another chance to hurt me.
But his declaration in front of his friends made me wonder if I should.
Was I holding a grudge or protecting my heart or both? I had no idea what to do. I leaned over, my chest tightening once again.
“Breathe,” Cassie said, her hand on my shoulder. “Slow and easy.”
This was a tight knit group. Not surprising since they all started at FI together. I kept up my deep breathing, and soon, the panic receded, and my heart slowed to normal. Thank goodness; I hated the attacks that went on for hours. Although those only happened with my parents.
“You two didn’t have to come out here.” While I was grateful for the support, I didn’t want them to feel obligated.
“You need girlfriends who understand, not men,” Emma said.
“Especially men who have a tendency to try to take over and demand you do what they want without thinking about what you might want or need,” Cassie added.
Emma laughed. “So true, and I have to say, it’s kind of fun to put Asher in his place now and then.”
I tilted my head. What was I missing here?
“Oh dear, we’ve confused Valerie.” Cassie patted my shoulder. “You’ll notice that the guys in there are pretty dominant males. They’re the same way in the bedroom.”
Say what?
“Of course, we’re only taking about Marcus and Asher in the bedroom,” Emma commented.
The tension inside me uncoiled. Why did I always think the worst of Lucas? Until he left me, I’d had no reason to doubt him. Could I get past what he’d done to me? I shook my head, finding the possibility hard to swallow.
“I wouldn’t put it past the others to be in the same type of relationship. I think it has something to do with working for Fantasies, Inc.” Cassie grinned.
“Lucas was dominant during our relationship.” I blinked. I wasn’t sure why I said that, but I’d never had anyone I could talk to about Lucas. Maybe it was time for me to spread my wings and accept friends into my circle of one.
“Not surprised at all,” Cassie said. “Are you feeling better?”
“Yes. Thank you both for coming after me.” I was amazed that these two women, whom I barely knew, would do something like this. I was used to women who weren’t as friendly. My sister, in particular, even though I stopped vying with her for our parents attention when I was a child.
“Not a problem. Lucas was about to, but I figured you needed girl help.” Cassie smiled. “We women need to stick together.”
“You did help, and I really appreciate it.” It was nice to have women who weren’t putting me down just because they could.
“I think we’re going to be good friends. We should go to lunch next week so Valerie can tell us all about Lucas and their past,” Emma said.
Would that help? Probably. I could get their perspective, and hopefully, it would help me make the decision to stay or leave.
“Excuse me, ladies,” Miles interjected. “Food has arrived.”
“We’ll be right there,” Cassie said.
He nodded and disappeared back inside the pub.
“Just one more thing before we go back in there. Your embarrassment, even anger, are justified. Lucas should have made that declaration in private. Sometimes guys can’t get out of their own way, and this looks like one of those times.
Don’t mince words about your feelings, and be clear about your boundaries.
Communication solves all kinds of problems.”
I glanced at my feet, then at the two women.
“That’s good to know.” Not that this was news to me.
When we were together, Lucas and I never had a problem with communication when it came to the bedroom, especially when it came to limits and what we enjoyed.
Relationship expectations weren’t that much different.
Or were they? I wouldn’t know for sure unless I asked the question, and what was the worst that could happen? Something in my mind settled.
“Ready to go eat? I’m starving,” Cassie commented.
“Let’s go.” The women linked arms with me, and we walked inside. I was feeling much better about everything. Maybe I needed to let go of all this anxiety around Lucas and give him a chance to redeem himself. Baby steps.
All the men stood as we approached. It had been a long time since I’d been around men who acted like this. Lucas stood behind my chair and pushed it in as I sat, then he leaned down.
“I seem to always be apologizing around you, but I’m sorry if I caused you to have a panic attack.”
“You knew that’s what happened?”
He nodded. “I saw you through a few of those, remember?”
He had. Strong arms surrounding me but not holding me captive. Letting me cry, letting me catch my breath. Letting me come to terms with a situation in my own time.
“Thank you for coming back,” Lucas said.
“I’m glad I did.” I smiled at him, and his features relaxed. The men took their seats, and we dug into our food. All the wonderful smells made my stomach growl as I took my first bite, trying to sort things out.
This could be a new beginning. New friends, new opportunities.
It was up to me to make the best of this.
I needed to remember that not everyone was like my parents, my sister, and their so-called friends.
There were genuine people in this world, like this group.
Time to let go and let myself get to know them better and that included giving Lucas a chance.
We all had a past, and I was interested in learning about Cassie’s and Emma’s relationships as it appeared that both began at Fantasies, Inc., and there seemed to be no issues with employees dating, even boss/employee.
Lucas’ leg brushed mine as he devoured his burger. He relished food and ate with enthusiasm. I wanted that focus turned on me again. First, I needed to know if Lucas and I could get beyond the past before any relationship could restart.