8. Emery
EIGHT
EMERY
I sat beneath the window in the bedroom of our hotel room.
Sunlight glinted in through the gap in the drapes, the bright rays streaming in and clashing against the duskiness that held fast to the rest of the room.
My elbows were rested on my knees, and I held the letter dangling between two fingers.
It was strange that something featherlight could feel as if it weighed a million pounds.
It’d taken me two months to build up the strength to go through her belongings. That long to bring me to do it, though I’d promised my mother it was something I would eventually tackle.
The problem was, I’d been wholly unprepared for what I found. The large keepsake box that had been hidden at the back of her closet. Inside were uncountable letters to Jana, our best friend, who we’d forever lost on that horrible night.
Tortured letters that had begged for forgiveness.
She’d also printed out a ton of pictures and news articles related to the incident, and she’d left paranoid thoughts and speculations all over the edges of them .
When I’d opened her tablet, I’d found much of the same. Tons of articles that had been saved. Letters that she’d handwritten on the writing app, most of them to Jana.
Laments from when our protected world had been ripped open to the horrors and atrocities that really existed. Things we’d been warned about but, in our youth, had been foolish enough to believe could never touch us.
We’d both been stricken by it.
I’d been scarred so badly that I’d turned in on myself.
Sure, I’d tried to move beyond it.
Going to college the way I’d planned.
Trying to act in a way I thought was normal.
Attempting to date and love and explore.
But I’d ended up this shell, a once outgoing girl who’d had dreams of opening a clothing boutique with my sister, who instead, had ended up hidden behind a computer and locked in her house.
Secluded.
Shrouded.
But I hadn’t known the way Emmalee had obviously suffered. The guilt she’d carried since she’d been the one who’d convinced us to go out that night.
It hurt that she hadn’t shared it with me, but I guessed I hadn’t shared the depths of my fears, either.
But what had really ripped the ground out from under me was the letter that had been left with the rest of these things, my name at the top of it.
I’d been shocked when I read it.
A cold dread curling through me when I saw her wishes.
It was a chill that hadn’t left me since.
As if to underscore my qualms, a bout of laughter echoed from the front room, Maci’s tinkling and my mother’s lower as they played memory with a deck of cards.
“I found it!” Maci shrieked, her laughter wild.
“What? How did you remember?” my mother sang .
“Because I got a good brain. My mommy says I’m extra smart, don’t you know?”
I could almost see Maci’s adorable nod to emphasize the point. The smile that would be on her face.
“I’m going to be an astronaut and fly aww the way up in the sky.”
“To the moon?” my mother played along.
“No way, Grammy, not the moon. We already been there. I gotta go to Mars or Venus.”
My spirit clutched because I knew she didn’t understand that her mommy would never get to tell her that she was smart again. Wouldn’t get to see her grow and become an astronaut or a doctor or whatever amazing thing that she would become.
Blowing out a strained sigh, I forced myself to unfold the letter, and for what had to have been the thousandth time, I let my eyes trace over the flowing script that I knew so well.
Dear Emery,
If you found this, then I guess I’m gone. God, I can’t even bring myself to imagine what that might be like. Not being here with you. Not being here with her.
Our childhood was so simple and so good. Do you remember how we always played? Laughing. Teasing. Sharing secrets that neither of us could ever keep since we could never keep a thing from the other. The two of us were the only thing either of us ever needed.
Except, I kept a secret from you. I told you that I didn’t know who Maci’s father was. I told you he was some random guy that I hooked up with after going out with friends for drinks one night.
But that was a lie.
I knew his name.
I shouldn’t have kept it from either of you. It was wrong, but I had my reasons .
And if I’m gone, then he needs to know about Maci. He needs to, Emery. I know you don’t understand, but I need you to trust me.
Go to him. Find him. Give him the chance to raise her. She deserves to have a father like him. I believe he’ll know what to do. He’ll protect her and take her into his sanctum. I know it.
I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you, especially if it comes down to a situation like this. I know how much you love her and would do anything for her.
So please, do this for me.
You are my other half. Not my opposite, but the one I see when I’m looking in the mirror. My confidant. My heart. My twin.
My sweet, sweet sister.
I love you so much. Forever. No matter where this life takes us or when it ends.
Xoxo ~ Emmalee
Kane Asher
17364 Dove Trail Lane
Moonlit Ridge, California
Hot tears poured down my cheeks as I read the last of the words, and I sniffled, trying to sop them up with the back of my hand.
Why, Emmalee? Why didn’t you tell me? Why wouldn’t you trust me with this?
Because that little girl had been the other half of my heart for the last four years, and what I didn’t trust was putting her in a stranger’s hands.
Did she even know this guy? His lifestyle? His conscience? Had she been secretly dating him?
Had she not noticed what I immediately recognized last night?
The wickedness he exuded that made me certain he was dangerous ?
Maybe that’s why I’d wanted him so badly. Because so often it was only fear that could chase away the numbness.
My thoughts moved to the part that had bothered me the most. I believe he’ll know what to do. He’ll protect her and take her into his sanctum. I know it.
That unsettled feeling swamped me again. The sense that something had been off about my sister’s death that had been ruled an accident. I’d felt it from the beginning.
My therapist had told me it was only part of my grieving process. The denial and unacceptance of the facts.
But I couldn’t shake the dread that kept sinking way down deep to my bones. That feeling that something was all wrong.
I swiped my face with the sleeve of my shirt before I inhaled a shaky breath, and I tucked the letter back into my bag then stepped out into the main room.
Maci was on her hands and knees on the floor, hovering over the cards that were spread out on the carpet in front of her, the child searching for the match to a queen of eights.
Wearing an adorable yellow sundress that made the gold flecks in her emerald eyes glint and twinkle when she looked up at me.
Her pale features angelic and soft, cheeks chubby with the cutest dimple in the middle of her chin.
“Auntie, look it!” She sat back on her knees and grabbed her stack of matches and held them high. “I got so many cards. I really do think I’m extra smart.”
“Wow. You did get so many,” I murmured as I slowly eased their direction, voice rough as I struggled to speak. “You’re putting your poor grammy to shame.”
“No way, Auntie. Grammy’s got no shame, don’t you worry. She’s the best grammy I got.”
My gaze slanted to my mother.
“She’s pretty amazing,” I whispered.
Mom’s head tilted to the side. “And her auntie’s pretty amazing, too. So strong and wise.”
Ha .
Wise.
I wish I would have been last night.
“That’s right, she’s very pretty. Just like my mommy,” Maci rambled as she went on the hunt for another card.
Another stake to the heart.
I inhaled around it, getting myself together enough to speak. “I think I’m going to go get some fresh air.”
Worry twisted Mom’s brow. “Do you want us to come with you?”
“No, I’ll be fine.”
I needed the quiet. The solitude. Some privacy to figure out what in the world I was supposed to do.
“Okay then.” It wasn’t quite an agreement, and before she could argue any more, I moved to Maci and dipped down to press a kiss to the crown of her head then slipped out the door.
It clanged shut behind me, and the second I hit the hallway, I rushed toward the elevator. Once I got there, I smacked the button, willing it to hurry. I watched the dial as it climbed, then blew out a breath when it swept open and there was no one inside.
I stepped in and pushed the one for the lobby, and my entire body vibrated as I waited for it to descend.
Feet itching with tormented energy.
I was almost ready to run when it came to a stop at the bottom and the bell dinged as the doors swept open.
Only I startled when a crash of energy suddenly banged against me when someone stepped into the elevator before I could escape it.
A riptide of severity.
The man ridiculously tall and wide.
Muscled body hard and packed.
Rippling with that intimidating strength that radiated from him like an omen.
Covered in swirling designs that crawled down his veined arms and onto the backs of his big, big hands.
Light brown hair, short on the sides and longer on top.
As I stood there, I realized he was far more intimidating than I remembered .
His aura fierce.
Feral and untamed.
Caught in the shock at finding him there, the only thing I could do was stumble back at the power of it, gasping for breath as I leaned against the mirrored back wall of the elevator.
In one instant, his expression morphed through a thousand things.
Surprise and a charge of relief. Possession and confusion and a steely determination that knocked my knees.
The worst was the scourge of lust that scraped over my flesh as his eyes flashed over me.
I needed to dart around him. Get out of this elevator.
Run.
Freaking do something.
But I was stuck. Pinned to the wall as he pushed all the way into the elevator, blocking my path.
A rugged refuge that towered.
Or maybe he really was the dragon.
There to fly me away to his dungeon where I’d be trapped.
Everything about him muddled my senses.