16. Kane
SIXTEEN
KANE
Warmth saturated the air, tempered by the cool breeze that cut across the peaked mountains that surrounded Moonlit Ridge and flowed over the glistening blue waters of the lake.
Soaring trees grew all around, hugging the waters, except for the rambling lawn that took up a major section of the park and the open area of the beach down on the shore.
Near downtown, this area was popular with tourists, though it was also often used for local events.
Today, there were a ton of families about, children barefoot as they trotted through the sand and frolicked in the water, which at this time of year would still be cold as fuck, but not one of them really seemed to notice.
I sat on top of a picnic table that was tucked under a tree away from the crowd, my boots planted on the bench and sweating like a motherfucker while I waited.
Had finally pried my ass away from that hotel at dawn and dragged myself home, though I hadn’t slept a wink.
Tossing and turning, riding that flimsy verge of sleep where you were almost dreaming, though the images you were envisioning were really just your fears running rampant in your mind.
Had finally given up at nine, taken a shower, then come here.
Waiting.
Waiting, and knowing that the only thing I was doing was torturing myself with what I couldn’t keep, but there was also no way I could fully turn my back, either.
Cars came and went in the parking lot located at the top of the sloped incline, and with each one, my attention would dart that way, searching for a stranger I somehow already knew.
Nearly came apart when a plain white sedan finally pulled into the lot.
A riot that somehow felt like fucking butterflies or some shit, heart pounding so hard I could actually feel the thud of it in my veins.
They eased into an open spot on the far-right side of the lot, and for a moment, they just sat there.
Through the windshield, I could see Emery’s silhouette again. Well, maybe I couldn’t really see it.
I could just feel it.
The turmoil that emanated from her spirit and oozed from her body.
No doubt, she was thinking she was making a mistake by bringing the child here.
She wouldn’t be wrong.
Finally, both front doors cracked open, and a middle-aged woman stepped out from the passenger side at the same time as Emery stepped from the driver’s side.
Blonde waves struck below the rays of sunlight, a river of gold glinting like a beacon in the distance.
My stupid fucking heart leaped.
Then it was screaming when she opened the rear passenger door. A minute later, she was closing it to reveal this little thing standing at her side and holding her hand.
In the distance, I couldn’t make out her features other than she had the same blonde hair as Emery, but I could see she was wearing this little yellow sundress.
What was unmistakable was the feeling.
The way I could sense the joy coming off her.
A landslide of it.
The two of them emitting this contradictory energy that pummeled through the air and slammed into me.
Wondered if Emery could somehow feel me, too, because when she turned to scan the lot, those eyes almost instantly found me.
Scorching.
Penetrating.
All that fear and worry she’d been feeling came at me full force.
Bashing against my being.
I couldn’t do anything but slide off the top of the picnic table.
Guts a tangle of uncertainty and knees weak when the three of them started in my direction. Both women held onto one of the little girl’s hands, this child who was skipping and jumping and giggling between them.
Swore, with every step they took, an earthquake rolled beneath my feet. My entire world shaken the closer they got.
It was Emery who brought them to a stop when they got within ten feet.
A wall of volatile energy separated us.
The woman at war as she stood there staring at me.
“Kane.” My name was nothing but a plea and a warning.
But for once, since the first time I’d seen her, she wasn’t who I was staring at.
Because I was fucking stuck.
Glued.
Chained to this little thing who was just beaming up at me.
Nothing but chubby cheeks and cherub face and those eyes that were forever going to haunt me in my dreams.
Piercing emerald rimmed in gold.
She had a dimple on her chin and her hair was done in two braids on either side of her head .
This child nothing but perfection.
The most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.
“Is this your friend who you really wanted me to meet, Auntie Em?” Her little voice was tinkling. No chance of keeping the delight out of it.
My chest tightened at the sound.
“Yes. This is my friend, Kane.” Emery lifted her chin and inhaled a tremulous breath. “Kane, this is Maci.”
The little girl let go of a giggle that battered against the tension that held the rest of us.
“Hi, Mr. Kane! It’s very nice to meet you! Did you want to play at the park with us? I really like the lake, and I got a baving suit and everyfing . And guess what?!”
Fuck me.
It was the most adorable ramble I’d ever heard. The little stuttered lisp that rolled out with each of her words.
Emotion clamped down so tight on my spirit I didn’t know how I wasn’t bawling like a baby. The burn of it in my heart and the sear of it in my soul.
This force that rearranged everything.
Who I thought I was and who I was supposed to be.
We take care of who we love most.
“What?” I finally managed to ask around the clog of emotion in my throat.
Maci lowered her voice like it was supposed to be a big secret. “We brought a picnic.”
“No way.” The words were rough.
Widening those green eyes, she nodded emphatically. “Yes way.”
Could barely swallow around the chaos that spun around me as I took a couple of steps forward. Might as well have been tiptoeing around landmines as I traversed my way toward the greatest treasure on the other side.
No way to reach it without putting your entire being on the line, all while knowing you’d risk it all to get there .
For the mere chance of staring at its beauty, even if it was only for a second.
At my approach, a shockwave rolled through Emery.
The connection that roiled between us up against her clear devotion she had to the child.
But I didn’t really have time to process any of that.
Not when I was kneeling on one knee in front of the little girl.
My little girl.
“Wow, that sounds like the best way to spend the day,” I rasped around the clot of emotion.
“Which part is your very favorite? The lake or the picnic?” she asked.
“Think all of it since I get to spend it with you.”
The words were shards.
Riddled with an affection so sharp I thought it would cut me in two.
A mournful sound squeezed out of Emery, while Maci swayed between the two women with her cheeks turning pink.
“Really?! Does that mean you want to be my friend? Because I don’t live at my old house anymore because my mommy had to go to heaven, and now I live wif my auntie, and I gotta make a lotta new friends.”
She said it just as natural as could be, while Emery and her mother might as well have been cut down at the knees.
A stabbing of pain so distinct, I thought I could feel them bleeding out.
This inundating wave of sorrow.
Slogging through and drenching everything.
And fuck me, the urge to straighten so I could slip my arms around Emery was close to overbearing. This need to wrap her up. Hold her through the midst of it. Tell her I knew exactly what it felt like to have someone you loved most ripped away.
The only thing I could do was peek up at her.
Eyes slanting between her and her mother, both of them fighting it with everything they had, but clearly losing the battle .
Grief so thick they were choking on it.
I turned back to Maci. “Yeah, Maci, I think I’d like to be your friend.”
Emery cleared her throat. “Kane, this is my mother, Wendy. Wendy Voss.”
I tore my attention from the child and forced myself to standing.
The older woman on the other side of Maci stirred, no doubt in discomfort, because there was something about this that was highly fucking uncomfortable.
You know, considering I’d had a kid with her dead daughter, and I had no clue who she was.
I roughed a flustered hand through my hair, a thousand words locked in my throat.
Apologies and sympathies that I hadn’t earned the right to offer.
“Good to meet you,” I finally managed.
“It’s nice to meet you, too, Kane.” Her smile was small but genuine.
Maci stole my attention when she pulled her hands free of their hold and bounced her way over to me, little arms flying in the air in excitement.
“Well, I fink it’s a very good choice that you want to be my friend, Mr. Kane, because havin’ fun is my specialty.” She stretched a tiny hand out in front of her, clearly wanting me to shake it. “So, what d’ya say? Best friends?”
Amusement wound with the heavy emotion.
This kid was adorable.
Beautiful and sweet and filled with this eagerness and light that chased off the shadows that lurked around me.
My hand shook out of control as I slowly reached out to shake hers, her tiny hand disappearing in my tattooed grasp, though there was no question she was the one who had her clutch on me.
Warmth streaking far and wide as she cast me the brightest smile as she pumped her little arm up and down.
“Deal! That’s a best friend pact, and you’re not allowed to break it,” she gushed, not stopping for a breath when she flipped right into another subject. “You wanna go swimmin’ now? ”
A soft chuckle rolled out.
Tiny tot was a whirlwind.
“Well, I didn’t quite come prepared.”
I gestured to my jeans and motorcycle boots.
Appalled, her green eyes bugged out. “What? You don’t got a bavin’ suit? Well, you better hurry it up and go to the store.”
Emery’s hand was suddenly on the child’s shoulder. “It’s okay, Maci. Maybe he can go swimming with you another time.”
Except I wasn’t supposed to have that.
Another time.
Every damned cell in my body revolted at the notion.
Pure fucking mutiny.
“But that’s not even fun.” Maci gave a little pout.