27. Emery
TWENTY-SEVEN
EMERY
Dragon
Is she asleep?
I was propped up in bed with the lamp on the nightstand glowing, the candles on the shelves flickering and dancing to the quiet sounds of the night.
Kane had left this afternoon on his work trip .
I didn’t know what it was that unsettled me about it. What set me so off kilter when he’d packed his duffel and promised he’d be back in two days.
When he’d told me again and again how thankful he was that I was here to be with Maci, all while he’d posted his friend Theo out front.
A terrifying, menacing security guard.
One who refused to come inside but had insisted that he was going to sleep out under the stars.
Seriously, what the hell?
I couldn’t make any sense of him. Not of Theo or Kane or the strange interaction they’d shared before Kane had ridden off on his motorcycle while I’d been standing on the front porch watching.
It’d seemed…tense .
An argument.
Theo’s own speculation rolling off him.
Kane had texted not twenty minutes later, saying I miss her already. Won’t deny that I miss you, too.
How was I supposed to respond to that? So, I hadn’t, though I had changed Deadly Dragon to Dragon on my phone.
I guessed I was having a difficult time continuing to view him that way.
Now, hours later, another text had come through.
One asking if Maci was asleep seemed a whole lot safer, so I quickly responded.
Me
Yeah, she’s been asleep for about half an hour. She insisted on making dinner and taking it out to Theo.
Two seconds later, another text came through.
Dragon
She’s a little caretaker.
I wavered before I let my fingers fly across the screen.
Me
I think she might be a protector, like you.
Dragon
You see her in me?
My tongue stroked out to wet my dried lips.
Me
Every time I look at her face.
Dragon
Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
Me
I think it’s always going to hurt a little when I look at her, because I’ll always see my sister, too.
I sat with my phone on my lap, not sure why I was so eager for a response. To see his words light up the screen. This foolish reaction the man elicited in me.
A concoction of distrust and grief and greed.
Wanting something I knew I shouldn’t have.
Dragon
Wish I could take that pain away from you, but I can’t. Only thing I can say is I get that pain. Being robbed of the one you love most.
My stomach twisted at his vulnerability. At the way he could read mine.
That chain that shackled us cinching tight, tugging between us on a keening bow. I had no idea where it’d gotten its power. How it was possible that he affected me this way.
I shouldn’t delve any deeper, but there was no stopping the question, and I wasn’t entirely sure if it was some kind of jealousy driving the question. Wondering if he’d ever had someone who’d gripped him by the soul.
Wondering if that’s exactly what he’d done to mine.
Me
Who?
It took forever before he finally responded.
Dragon
My mother.
Sorrow flooded out with the response, and I felt swamped with it, as if my mattress had become a pool of his grief.
Me
I’m so sorry.
Dragon
It was a long time ago.
Me
But it doesn’t change the pain, does it?
Maybe it got distorted. The edges worn out and frayed. But it would always be there.
Dragon
No.
The single word came through, and I watched as the bubbles jumped then paused then jumped again.
Dragon
I wasn’t strong enough to protect her from the ones who hurt her. I failed her. Something that won’t ever happen again .
I thought he was all wrong, and he might not be the dragon after all. Because even if he was battle-worn, I could see him in his armor.
A white knight standing for what was right.
Was I crazy for thinking it?
For trusting him the way he’d asked me to?
When I could feel the shroud of secrets hovering around him? Storm clouds that darkened and concealed?
Me
I trust you with her.
My stomach tightened. I wanted to trust him with myself, too.
I still didn’t understand how I’d arrived at this place.
Believing in him.
Dragon
I promise I won’t betray that trust.
Another text came in right behind it.
Dragon
It’s something that’s hard for you. Trusting.
I could almost feel his spirit dancing in the room. Shadows that played across the walls as he watched over me from afar.
Me
Sometimes the only thing it takes is one incident…one horrible moment…to destroy trust forever.
His response popped up almost immediately.
Dragon
I want to know who hurt you. Who put those ghosts in those gorgeous eyes. Want to end them so you never have to be afraid again.
I should be terrified of what he was saying because nothing about his statement felt off-handed or blasé.
Me
It was a long time ago, and it’s not your burden to carry.
Dragon
That’s where you’re wrong, Little Warrior. You became that when you let me touch you. When you let me taste you. When you put your trust and your body in my hands. I’m the only one who’s done that, aren’t I? The only one who’s made you feel safe to bare yourself that way?
God, how did he know? How could he see right through me? And why was I giving him an open door? But there I was, letting my fingers betray the promises I had made to myself.
Me
I tried. Twice. Both times, I just went numb.
My spirit taking flight. Removing me from the horrors I was instantly transported back to.
Dragon
And were you numb with me?
I glanced around the room as if I was worried I was going to be caught doing something salacious, my heart racing and that achy spot he conjured throbbing.
Me
I think you know the answer to that.
Dragon
How did it make you feel?
I could feel his caution. Wanting to make sure I was fine and also wanting to tread into the attraction that so clearly burned around us.
And I knew answering it honestly would change everything. That I was allowing myself to go dip my toes into the waters that I’d promised myself I wouldn’t. I knew what direction the conversation would go. Could almost taste it in the air. But I couldn’t resist that lure in his voice.
Me
I felt free for the first time in my life.
Dragon
Is that what you want, for me to set you free? You want me to send you soaring the way I did before? Know the pleasure I brought you. And I can’t help but sit here thinking of all the ways I want to do it again.
Desire flamed, and I gulped around the knot in my throat.
Me
You know we can’t go there.
Dragon
Think your pussy says otherwise. Tell me, Emery, are you dripping right now? Thinking about all the dirty things I could do to you?
Brazen.
There were no other words for this man.
I squeezed my thighs together as if it might be enough to sate the ache.
Me
No.
Dragon
Sweet little lies.
I could almost hear that low chuckle rumbled out with the words.
Me
Even if I was, we can’t act on them.
Dragon
Maybe you just need me to become your fantasy.
He already was. My every fantasy. One of my greatest regrets and my dirtiest secret.
Dragon
Do you touch yourself, thinking about me right down the hall from you? Because I promise you that I do. Knowing you’re twenty feet away, tucked behind that door, that sweet little body in that bed. My cock has been stone since the second I met you.
Heat rushed across my skin, tremors rolling with the flames.
What was he doing to me? I knew better. Knew I was treading a thin line, but there I was, toeing it, anyway.
My trembling fingers tapped out the confession.
Me
I never have. Not until you .
I nearly hit the ceiling when my phone rang in my hand. I should reject his call. Or better yet, shut down my phone. I couldn’t do this with him. It was wrong. Wrong on so many levels.
Apparently, I didn’t have the capacity to heed it.
I accepted it, every inch of me shaking as I lifted the phone to my ear. I didn’t have time to say anything before his voice was cutting over the line.
Deep and dark and mesmerizing.
“How many times? How many times did you fuck yourself with those sweet little hands thinking about me?”
“Every night since I came to this house.”
He plucked it out of me as if he wielded the power to my every secret.
I’d attempted it before but had fumbled with the awkwardness. With the scars that had built up around it and made it less than appealing.
I’d finally given up.
Given up until I’d met him.
“Do it now.” He grunted it. “Slip those fingers into your pussy and know whatever you’re feeling is only a fraction of what I’d really make you feel.”
And I swore, the man had me entranced. Entrenched. Captured and hypnotized.
Because I did.
I let my palm slide down my belly and under the covers, beneath my sleep pants and underwear.
A tiny moan got free when my fingertips glanced over my clit.
“Don’t fight it, Little Warrior. Just tonight. Let go.”
I thought we both knew it was a lie. That it would never be enough. That the mere fantasy of him was only going to drive me insane. That I was diving into a dangerous place.
Because I couldn’t stay, and I didn’t believe that he would keep me. I was sure of the life that he lived.
But none of that mattered right then .
Not when I heard him shifting in bed. Not when he released a long groan, and I became sure of what he was doing.
Visions flashed.
Of what it might really be like.
The man standing over me.
Fully bare.
Pure menace and intimidation and those gentle, caring hands.
Sensation rushed as I rubbed my fingers over my swollen nub.
“Are you touching yourself, Emery?”
“Yes,” I rasped.
“Good girl.” His voice was grit, his breaths choppy and shallow.
And still, I whispered, “Are you?”
“Yeah. I’m fucking my hand, hard and slow, and it’s never going to be enough.”
“It has to be.”
This had to be enough.
It was already a tragic mistake. Taking this farther than we already had. But I couldn’t stop the onslaught of need that barreled through my senses.
“Wish I was there so I could kiss the fuck out of you.”
I didn’t know what it was about the way he said it that set me off.
Why those words sent a bolt of pleasure blistering through my body.
The orgasm sudden and sharp.
A beautiful explosion that burst behind my sight.
His face right there in my mind.
The fierce, harsh lines and those magic eyes.
“Kane.” His name was a juddering plea. A question. Pleasure and shame.
“Fuck, Emery.” He moaned it, and I could feel his own pleasure rip through the line.
As if for a moment, I was with him.
But I couldn’t be.
I couldn’t .
For a while, I sat there in the silence, gasping, trying to wrap my head around what I’d just allowed to happen.
Then his panted words filled my ear. “Have made a million mistakes in my life, Emery. Have failed more times than I could count. But I’m not going to fail her, and I’m not going to fail you. I promise you that.”