43. Emery
FORTY-THREE
EMERY
Kane reached into the massive stone shower and turned on the faucet. The muscles of his big body flexed over the designs that covered his back. The grim scene of the dead woods with the skulls hanging from the trees on full display. Haunting and beautiful. The perfect match to the man.
The water began to fall, and he turned back to me.
Magic eyes swooping over me in a flash. Green flames that raved.
The old wounds didn’t stand right then. No place inside me that wanted to hide or shield.
Not when he was looking at me like that.
Like I was the treasure he kept promising I was.
God, what was I doing?
I was so close to tripping into that free fall. But from where I was standing, I wanted to step over that ledge.
Just let go. The guilt I felt now a distant vibration somewhere in the back of my mind.
Because maybe he was right. Maybe Emmalee would have wanted me to be happy. Maybe this is exactly what she would have wanted if she knew.
Could it be good and right ?
Could he be?
Because there was no longer any question that Kane was involved in something hazardous, and I was also almost certain that whatever it was wasn’t legal.
“Come here,” he rumbled in that dark, low voice as steam began to fill the room.
I could barely stand where I remained in the same spot where he’d just devastated my body in the absolute best way…just the way he’d promised…my legs wobbly as I made my way to him where he waited.
He stretched out a big hand as I approached, taking it as he stepped into the shower and guided me in with him.
He looped an arm around my waist, spinning me around so that I was in the cascade of water that rained from the ceiling.
Chills skated across my flesh when the water hit my back, and Kane angled my head back to wet my hair.
His touch gentle as he carefully soaked me through, the warmth coming at me from every direction.
The spray of the shower and the caress of his hands and the fire in his eyes.
He shifted long enough to pump shampoo into the palm of his hand, the scent of eucalyptus and spice invading my senses, before he was back massaging it into my hair, careful to avoid the bump on my forehead.
“Figure this is the best way to keep you smelling like me since I’m about to wash myself off of you.” There was the hint of a tease that fell with the words, the gentlest smile tipping up at the edge of his delicious mouth.
“I doubt there is any washing you off after that, Kane Asher.” The words were coarse, clogged in my throat that was still thickened after the bliss he’d shot me into.
My mind and heart still trying to catch up to the way I’d fully given myself to him.
“Told you there’d be no erasing me once you had me. Told you I was going to write myself so deep on you that you’d be marked forever.”
But would it become a scar that he left ?
Affection tightened my chest, and I realized I no longer believed that. This man was so much more than the imaginings I’d conjured. The way I’d believed he was my enemy, a horrible man who’d only used up my sister and tossed her away.
He rinsed my hair then gathered my hand and placed it over the thunder that pounded at his chest. “Just like you’re going to be on me.”
“Is that what you want? Me marked on you forever?”
That entrancing gaze danced. “Yeah, Emery. Told you that you changed everything. That there was something about you the first time I met you. And now I know it’s because you’re supposed to belong to me. With me.”
Guilt tugged again, though, this time it was different. The old dream that I’d shared with my twin that I’d been set on finally chasing. “I don’t know if I can just neglect taking over my sister’s store.”
She’d begged me to do it with her, then had left it to me. How could I turn my back on that?
Kane’s expression dimmed, and he seemed to struggle to force out the words. “Why don’t we not think about you leaving right now until we take care of whoever came after you this afternoon?”
A trace of the terror I’d felt earlier trickled through.
Uncertainty and horror.
I truly had no clue who it could have been. No understanding of why.
But I swore, it was like the monster had known who I was. The vile words he’d hissed at my ear.
Nausea tumbled in my stomach when I thought of all the chaos that Emmalee had written in that journal. Her obsession with what had happened to us.
Why couldn’t I give it to him?
I guessed because I felt like I needed to protect her. I didn’t want him to see the way she seemed to have lost little pieces of reality.
Had become consumed and unbalanced.
I couldn’t help but fear that she’d lost herself in a way that I hadn’t understood. Fear that maybe she allowed what had happened to us to destroy her, so she destroyed herself .
How could I betray that? Give that to anyone else?
Kane ran the pad of his thumb along the hollow of my eye. “No one is getting close to you, Emery. You’re not going to be alone until we figure this out. Either me or one of my crew will be right next to you. Because you’re our family. All of ours.”
The impact of his statement punched through me, and my chin trembled as I gave him a slight nod, though old fear kept the words that threatened to escape trapped on my tongue.
The emotion that rose up from the places where I thought my hopes and dreams would exist.
All because of this man.
“You make me feel so different, Kane. So real and alive. Vibrant when I’d been living my life in grayscale.”
“That’s because you were meant to shine, Little Warrior. You just needed someone to help you stand in the light.”
He took my arm with the tattoo and tenderly ran his fingers over the inscription.
Find me in the darkness, bring me to the light.
That familiarity roiled between us. A humming connection that keened. Memories of that time flooded me. The reason I’d gotten it and what it represented.
And I guessed it had come to mean something brand new.
My hand was shaking as I let my fingertips trace over the images on his chest. The dueling demons on his pecs. His own ghosts that haunted him.
He stared down at me the entire time.
An understanding passed between us as we stood beneath the warmth of the shower, the fall dragging us into a dream.
Kane grabbed a loofah and doused it in soap, then he carefully dragged it over every inch of my body.
Nothing about it felt like he was cleaning me. It felt as if he were worshipping me.
The way he ran it in circles.
Softly.
Tenderly .
Over my shoulders and breasts.
He crouched as he did the same down my abdomen, the man kneeling in front of me as he pressed gentle kisses to the spots he’d just washed.
While I ran my fingers through his drenched hair, across his neck and shoulders. Whispers and sighs left me as he continued, as he showered me in an adoration unlike anything I’d experienced before.
Then I turned and did the same to him.
Exploring his glorious body as I ran the sponge over him.
Memorizing the colors and lines as I went.
Shivering with the realization that I’d never been cut wide open and exposed like this. There was no reservation or hesitation left.
Kane shut off the shower and reached out to grab a towel, and he grinned as he ruffled it through my hair. “You make me happy, Emery Voss.”
This man had a way with words, but I wasn’t sure any of them had ever made me as happy as that.
Because that’s what caring about someone was, wasn’t it? Hoping to make them happy?
And that place inside me glowed.
Rising up and overflowing.
And the words whispered from my lips. “You make me happy, too.”
I’d thought it impossible.
Now I knew it was unstoppable.
“Plan on making you very , very happy for the rest of my life.” He let the innuendo wind in with that as he tucked the towel around my body then reached out to grab another one and wrapped it around his waist.
A giggle ripped out when he suddenly swept me up and tossed me over his shoulder, a gasp of words rushing out of me as my nails raked across his back. “What do you think you’re doing, Kane Asher?”
“Gotta feed my girl.”
My chest tightened, and I didn’t have time for softness to take me over since he was barreling out of his bathroom, through his room, and into the hall .
Twilight hugged the walls. Filtering in through the windows as he carried me downstairs.
“Oh my gosh, put me down.” It was a rash of giggles.
“Nah. Think I like you just like this.”
“A sack of potatoes slung over your shoulder?”
“Potatoes? Hardly. This is precious cargo. Diamonds. Gems. Motherfuckin’ gold.” He chuckled it as he hit the bottom landing and ambled down the long passageway to the kitchen, carrying me as if I didn’t weigh a thing.
He strode all the way in, rounding the island before he set me on the edge. He wedged himself between my legs that dangled over the side, and one of those big hands slipped to my cheek, his thumb running circles as he stared at me.
“Precious, precious cargo. It’s Emery Voss. And I want to carry her forever. In every way. Both in my arms and in my heart.”
My stomach swooped.
Damn him, making me fall for him this way.
Then he strode to the refrigerator, opened it, and ducked inside. “Here we go.”
He pulled out a cherry pie, a smug grin riding all over his handsome face.
I arched a teasing brow. “We’re having cherry pie for dinner?”
“Figured I’d have both of my favorite things tonight.” His words were playful, waggish as he sauntered back over, the man so hot just looking at him made me ache.
“Oh, you’re favorite, huh?”
He set the pie down on the island before he traced his thumb across my swollen lips, his voice dropping to a murmur as he said, “My very, very favorite.”
“Kane.” It wheezed out of me.
A plea.
A promise.
A prayer.
Unsure of what I was supposed to do.
Because I was falling .
Falling free and fast.
And I was sure there was no longer any stopping myself.
He dipped in and kissed me. Kissed me long and slow and adoringly.
No rush or desperation because he’d already settled on what he wanted.
Then he eased back, the loyalty showing so stark on his face. “I want to tell Maci on Thursday.”
He hesitated, his thick throat bobbing in uncertainty as he swallowed. “You know I have to leave Thursday night. With Theo.”
He’d mentioned it a couple of times. Another work trip he had to take.
“One of my brothers will be with you and Maci the whole time,” he rushed.
Disquiet blustered. It took about everything I had not to sink my nails into him and beg him not to go, but somehow my spirit already knew that I couldn’t keep him here.
That this was bigger than what he’d let on that it was supposed to be.
“You have to go.”
I said it a statement.
As acceptance.
The pad of his thumb was back to tracing my bottom lip, and I could see the war go down in his expression, could see him waging it all the way down in his soul before he finally admitted, “It’s part of what me and my crew do. When I told you we protect those more vulnerable than us.”
“What does that mean, Kane?”
His bare chest heaved. “I don’t think you’re ready to know that yet.”
Fear slicked down my spine. Not fear of him, but for him.
My throat grew thick, and I nodded. “Okay.”
Kane angled his head, his hand tightening on my cheek. “One day, I’ll give you all of me, Emery. Every bit of it. But first, you’re going to have to give yourself completely to me.”