Chapter Fourteen
He stood looking into the damage he’d wrought to her with his cruel and unforgivable words.
The vibrant spirit had been crushed. The girl he’d loved had been killed by his actions and this woman carried the injury to her heart and her spirit even more than the damage to her leg.
Rob rubbed his face and pushed his hair back as he gazed into her eyes.
‘You think I will use your willingness against you? That this is just a ploy to hurt you, again?’
What else could she think? Though he’d not ordered her brought there or mistreated, he’d allowed it.
The last time they’d met alone, he’d left her to seek out her father for permission to marry her.
Instead of returning to her with words of love and promises for a future together, he’d broken things with her in front of her family and used her leg, her ‘maimed and disgusting leg’, as his excuse.
He wanted perfection in his bride, he’d said, and when he’d discovered how bad it truly was—during some scandalous mischief alone with her—he knew he could not stomach nights with her in his bed.
God damn him to hell! Regardless of the weakness within him that allowed him to say such terrible things, the effects of them could still be seen in the fear in her eyes.
Not for any physical act that would happen between them, nay, but for the possibility of him tearing her heart and spirit apart once more.
No matter that her father had insisted that he repudiate her in the worst way so that there was no hope of reconciliation, he should have stood up to Connor and refused. He should have demanded Lilidh as his wife, laird—father—earl be damned!
Instead he’d let the man he respected and admired, the man who’d trained him as warrior and mentored him as a leader, force him into actions that had destroyed both of their lives.
The only thing he had left her with was her love for her father, for he had not and would never admit to her that they would have been together if not for Connor MacLerie’s demands and orders.
Looking now into her eyes, eyes filled with desire and hope and fear, he could still not destroy the love she bore Connor.
‘Lilidh, I was a stupid boy, full of himself with no idea how to handle things like love. Or a woman’s heart,’ he admitted now. ‘I have learned much in these last year so that matters that seemed so important then are not now.’
He took her hands in his and held them. He must ease her fears, for he had no intention of allowing this chance to make the past up to her to be lost. It had nothing to do with shaming her before his clan—it had to do with restoring her confidence and showing that he was the unworthy one and not her.
‘This is between us. I will not speak of whatever happens between us with anyone else. And I will not force you to my bed or take that which you do not freely give.’
Though doubt filled those deep-green eyes, he watched as she made the decision. No matter what, he would do whatever he needed to do to keep her safe, pay whatever price he owed at whatever cost it was to him, to make up for what he’d done to her.
When she pulled her hands from his and began unbuckling his jacket, he knew she’d made up her mind to trust him and he let out the breath he did not know he held.
He dropped his arms to his side and allowed her to do whatever she wanted.
After opening the jacket and pushing it down off his shoulders, she went to work untying the laces of his shirt and tugging it off over his head.
The touch of her fingers on his skin nearly caused his knees to give out.
She outlined his ribs and then used both hands across him, touching him as he had done to her.
He fought the overwhelming urge to let loose his control and to show her all the pleasure now.
He held still as her fingers traced lower and lower and reached his belt.
With nary a pause, she tugged on the belt until it came free and then let it and the tartan it held in place fall to the floor around their feet.
He had always been the leader, taking her through the first steps in their intimate dance, but it pleased him now to allow her to have her way. He closed his eyes and gave himself over to whatever she wanted to do—a benefit of making love to a woman of experience rather than a virgin.
Her hands followed the hair on his belly down further and further until she reached his manhood.
Standing thick and firm, it jutted out from the curls at its base and the expression on her face, a mix of interest and hunger, made it pulse and move.
He waited for her to touch him there and it was worth every moment of the four years since he’d last laid eyes on her.
She slid her gentle hands over and around it, taking hold and then stroking the length of it.
Then she lifted his bollocks in her grasp, caressing them together.
He thought he was dying then. His blood rushed so fast and hard through every part of him that it hurt to take a breath. His skin burned. His hands itched to touch her. And he would, all in good time. For now, he let her roam over his body, accepting the exquisite torture of it.
But when she bent over and moved that mouth of hers closer to his aroused flesh, he took her by the shoulders and straightened her back up. Her mouth on his cock. He needed to be lying down or he would fall over at such a thing.
So he kissed her and began to untie and undo the various layers she wore, touching and caressing her body as he did.
He let his hand linger on her breast and he untied the laces of her gown.
He let his finger graze over the curls at the juncture of her legs.
He touched and tasted her skin as he uncovered her bit by bit.
When he felt her tremble beneath each caress, he knew she was ready.
Reaching down, he took the edge of her shift and began to lift it up.
Anxious to hold her naked, with nothing between them, her hand on his surprised him.
Ah. She did not want him to see her leg, no matter his words that it mattered not.
He let the garment go—there were ways to deal with it—and lifted her into his arms to carry her to bed.
Rob laid her down and climbed in next to her, kissing her mouth and keeping the fires of passion stoked within her.
Not allowing the thin shift to slow or stop him, he kissed her breasts through it until she arched beneath him.
The heat pulsed through him at her reaction, his body demanding that he take her soon.
Instead, determined that this was for her, he turned his attentions to her other breast, suckling the tight bud this time. She gasped and stiffened under him.
Kneeling over her, he slid down her, using his face and mouth and teeth to tease a path towards the place he wanted to taste.
The fabric was no barrier to what she felt, for her breathing became erratic and when he placed his head on her stomach, he felt the pounding of her heart.
He slid down a bit and moved his mouth over the curls there, just once, but she let out a moan and so he used his tongue to tease them over and over.
When her legs fell open, he moved his face down and kissed the uninjured thigh, easing his way towards his goal—the place that would make her soar in pleasure.
At first, she urged him on with her hands tangled in his hair, but then they fell aside and her fingers curled in the bedcovers. Her hips urged him on that way.
‘Take it off,’ she rasped out then.
Rob raised his head to make sure he’d heard her correctly. ‘Your shift?’
‘Yes.’
He would not waste time now so he grasped the top edges of the garment and ripped it open.
Her lovely body lay open to his view, her soft curves making his mouth water once more.
Although it had been a big step for her, he did not want her uncomfortable during this, so he tucked the now-freed edge around her scarred leg, giving her a measure of privacy in that.
The rest of her was more spectacular now than before—her body had matured into a lithe, curvaceous woman from the girl he’d known. He’d adored her then—he loved her now.
Lifting her uninjured leg up and over, he opened that most sensitive place to his gaze.
Kissing down from her knee, along her thigh, he finally placed his mouth where it wanted to be and she moaned out a sound of hunger and longing and pleasure.
Rob tasted her arousal, until she panted, barely a moment or two away from reaching satisfaction.
He plunged his tongue deep and sent her over the edge.
Her body pressed against him, her hands tangled again in his hair, but he did not stop until she throbbed.
She pulled his hair then, dragging him up to face her, their bodies sliding along each other and letting her know that they were not done yet. Lilidh’s eyes were wild, filled with pleasure and desire when she gazed at him.
‘Now, Rob,’ she urged. ‘Finish it.’
* * *
Lilidh’s body sung, from his touch and from the scandalous kisses between her legs. She was ready for the next step—she wanted it, wanted him. Inside.
Inside where no man had ever been.
Rob moved over her, once more working his magic as he sent her body into another needy frenzy.
Her hips lifted, begging him to fill her.
Her breasts, heavy and aching, needed him inside her to ease the building tension.
Her very core throbbed in anticipation of having his flesh within hers, touching her there, joining their bodies as one.
He moved slowly, tasting his way along her body, until she was ready to beg him.
Nay, she would beg.
‘Please, Rob,’ she whispered. ‘Please.’ When he placed his erection at the opening to her most intimate place, she held her breath and waited that incredibly small amount of time before he began to push inside her.
Would he notice? Would he know? Did it matter to him?