Chapter Twenty-Four
Silence surrounded them for several minutes. Connor went and poured himself a large cup of whisky and, after offering it to her first, drank it down. He sat down on one of the benches there. She was so angry at him that she could not even look at him.
He’d always been overbearing and controlling and a hard man, a beast, but this was worse.
This was...hateful. And Jocelyn just could not understand why.
If he objected to Rob because he was baseborn, so be it.
But he’d accepted Rob and brought him up as part of their household and never treated him as such.
At this moment, though, she cared not. She was so angry that she wanted to. ..
‘Do you think she’ll ever tell me about the bairn?’ he asked in a low voice.
Somehow he knew. It should not surprise her, but it did. Was that what had brought him to the solar in the middle of the day?
‘I doubt it,’ she said, still not meeting his gaze.
‘Did you speak about what she can do about this?’ She heard something creeping into his voice then—pain? Doubt?
‘Yes. I gave her several things to think about. The Murrays’ visit might be fortuitous for her.’
‘Jocelyn,’ he began in that tone that would tear out her heart. She shook her head and walked to the door.
‘I am so angry with you that I cannot speak about it now. I will see you at dinner.’
Jocelyn left him in the solar and went to find Lilidh.
The only thing that lightened her mood was knowing that she’d already sent her note on its way. If she was not as furious, she might have explained her reasons to her husband. But not now—she was that angry that she decided she would not tell him at all.
* * *
Connor sat back and watched Jocelyn leave. She was right—damn her!—too much of the time and this was another of those times. He’d thought about his actions those four years ago and realised he was wrong.
When the first rumours were reported to him, he’d had a long talk with Rob about Lilidh’s future and his own and how they would go along different paths.
Mostly because her marriage would be used to make or strengthen political alliances and he would not rise to that level as the illegitimate son of the Matheson with others ahead of him to inherit and lead.
But Connor understood the passions of youth and had hoped he impressed on Rob the boundaries of his behaviour.
Then more specific things were reported back to him—Rob’s lewd boasts to his friends about the way it was between him and Lilidh.
The boundaries were being pushed and so Connor spoke to him again, talking about honour and loyalty and obedience.
He’d even spoken to Lilidh about the same matters, but he knew she was attracted to the young handsome boy in their midst. Connor had recognised, as a father and a man, the glimmer of first love in her gaze and it had scared him.
So, when Rob came to him to ask his permission to speak to his father about a betrothal, Connor exploded with an insulting challenge to see if he would rise above himself and stand up for what he wanted, for who he wanted.
Instead, Rob did every outrageous thing he demanded in trying to pacify him into not starting war with his clan and to save himself from the humiliation of being disgraced as the cause of it. When Connor told him to make it look as though he was rejecting Lilidh, the boy did it.
Worse, the terrible mistake escalated and there was no way back from it. It caused a break in the long friendship Connor had had with Angus and left them both bitter and angry over it.
Now, four years later, there were even more repercussions from his stupid decision and actions.
Now, Rob still believed himself unworthy because of his actions. Connor just prayed the boy would see the truth before it was too late.
* * *
‘And what exactly do you think is going to happen?’ Dougal asked him as they walked up the steps to Rob’s chambers.
‘I will not repeat the past, Dougal. I have lived as though Connor’s words to me were true. I will not do it any longer.’
‘So,’ he asked as they entered the bedchambers filled with thousands of memories now for Rob, ‘you think the MacLeries will just let you ride off with Lilidh? Do you think she will even speak to her after what you said? What you did?’
Miserable after two months without her, Rob knew he had been a fool. And he had been as unworthy of Lilidh as her father had accused. He’d let Connor scare him off four years ago, doing the laird’s dirty work for him on the way out, but no more.
These last two months had been hell.
So many times he returned here to share something with her or to get her opinion or to discuss a plan, only to realise she was gone. He’d chased her away in spite of the love she had given to him.
Because of his fears.
What the hell kind of laird could he be if he was ruled by fear?
‘Rob,’ Dougal said, grabbing his arm to make him stop packing, ‘the elders are not in favour of this either.’
‘I do not give a damn whether they like it or not. If I am laird, I will decide. If they do not want me as laird, there is always Symon.’ He stopped a moment or two later when he noticed the horrified expression on his friend’s face. ‘I ask you again—will you come with me?’
‘And do what?’ Dougal crossed his arms and glared at him.
‘Pick up the pieces of my body and bring them back for burial?’ he asked. Though he said it in jest, it was one possibility of what could happen to him at the hands of the MacLeries. ‘Guard my back.’
‘If I was guarding your back, I would convince you of the folly of such an action. Let some time pass before approaching them. Send a message or two to gauge their willingness to talk. Use an intermediary to establish talks.’
Rob held out the parchment then, letting his friend read it. It was similar wording to the one from a year ago, but this time he had received it.
My husband is seeking an appropriate match for
Lilidh’s hand in marriage.
‘There is no time,’ Rob said. ‘I leave at first light.’
Dougal looked from the message to Rob and back again before letting out a loud sigh. ‘You know he’ll send Rurik up against you first. Can you defeat him in battle?’
Could he defeat the MacLerie’s champion? The largest and strongest man he had ever met? Could he?
* * *
The answer, as he discovered just a week later, was no.
Rurik was as unbeatable now as he’d always been. As Rob forced himself up from the ground for the fourth time, he reminded himself of why he was doing this.
For her. For Lilidh.
Yet, he had not seen or heard her. Barely through the gates of Lairig Dubh, Rurik had charged him.
Dougal had been dragged aside and now the battle went on through the yard.
It was hard to see who observed them since one eye was swollen closed.
It was hard to breathe with the broken ribs Rurik had caused with the first punch delivered.
The blood streaming down his leg from the gash there made the ground underneath it slippery.
He’d begun fully armed with his sword, targe and dagger. As Rurik circled him now, only the sword was left. When those in the yard stopped cheering for Rurik and taunting him, Rob knew that Connor had arrived.
‘What are you doing here, Matheson?’ Connor called out. Rob turned in the direction of the call, hoping he faced Connor, but not certain because he could not see well.
‘I am here for Lilidh,’ he answered back, wondering if she was watching this and cheering for Rurik.
‘You are not worthy of her. Go home and do not return here.’
‘I think I am, MacLerie. I will not leave without her.’
The quiet at his approach now gave way to complete and utter silence, only the sounds of his hard breathing breaking into it. He’d challenged their laird—something few men had done and lived to tell of it. Thinking about it, the only man he knew who had was the one who had greeted him—Rurik.
‘Then show me how worthy you are, Matheson.’
The gauntlet had been thrown now. Rob would have to take her father down to prove himself to all the
MacLeries. But even that did not guarantee Lilidh would accept him. This was just the next step in what would undoubtedly be the most painful experience of his life. Well, he thought as he took in as deep a breath as his chest would allow, she was worth it.
That was the last coherent thought for some time as he charged across in Connor’s direction and attacked.
He gave it his all—never giving ground, never slowing, always moving forwards.
He swung that sword until his arms screamed and until he could barely draw a breath.
The noise overwhelmed him—so loud that it sounded like an army in a pitched battle around him.
Or that might be because Connor had struck his head with the hilt of his sword and his ears were ringing.
He knew from the grunts that he had hit Connor several times, though the man never slowed down or tried to evade him. He only thought about Lilidh as he struggled to keep up.
Then, somehow, he managed to catch hold of Connor’s sword and fling it away with his.
The crowd roared again, but he did not waste time listening.
He chased Connor down and ploughed into him, knocking him to the ground as he tried to grab for the sword.
Though he was certain his shoulder came out of its socket from the force with which he landed on Connor, he swung around and pinned Connor on the ground.
Then, with his sword at Connor’s neck, he demanded his surrender.
Instead of hearing the words, he heard swords being drawn around him.
MacLerie warriors surrounded him and pointed their swords at him now—killing their laird simply would not be allowed, whether he’d won or not.
He put his hand up then and dropped his sword.
Connor climbed to his feet and strode up to him, to deliver the death blow, no doubt.
‘Tell her I tried,’ Rob said quietly to Connor.
‘Tell her yourself,’ Connor growled back, looking over Rob’s shoulder towards the keep. Rob forced his battered and bleeding body to turn.
She looked like an angel, her hair streaming out behind her as she moved towards him. Her mouth opened and suddenly he realised it was not an angel—she was the legendary bean-shithe, the fairy woman whose scream foretold one’s death. Men moved out of her path in fear that she shrieked for them.
By the time the creature reached him, he thought it was Lilidh, but his open eye blurred from the blood dripping into it from a cut somewhere above it.
He tried to reach out for her, but his arm would not obey.
She stood before him now and he was grateful that the last thing he saw in this life would be her face.
Then the ground reached up and pulled him down to meet it.