105. Tressa
Tressa’s hands trembled over the flesh of Rorax’s back, healing the deep slashes across her skin, trying to block out the words that were ringing in her mind.
“I will not bow to a woman who has sentenced eleven innocent girls to death because she wouldn’t spend the time to undo the magick.”
Rorax was right. Through her inaction the Guardian had failed them, and Rorax was as much a victim in this as Roo had been.
Fuck.
The anger and the hatred that had been building in her stomach and chest for months sputtered. She desperately called out for it, needing it to help her crawl out of her own pit of regret and grief . . . but it was gone.
Ayres gingerly brushed his hand over Rorax’s head, the movement affectionate and loving, and for the first time Tressa didn’t feel betrayed by his actions. She understood them. Rorax Greywood used almost every moment of her waking life fighting for a better future. For herself, for her friends, for the Contestars. Her unyielding focus and never-ending efforts were admirable.
Tressa dared to admit that she respected Rorax. Liked her, even.
The Guardian might not have killed Rorax, but she hadn’t been that far away from it either. And with all the Black Salt, Rorax would have scars of this night for the rest of her life.
“Is she gonna be alright?” Ayres asked.
“Yes, she is going to live,” Tressa soothed.
“Thank you . . . I know that you harbor ill feelings towards her—”
“I was wrong, Ayres,” Tressa blurted, surprising them both. “What she’s doing . . . trying to free the Contestars from the magick? It’s . . . admirable. Roo would have wanted that. I’d like to think she would have tried to free them all, too.”
“I think she would have,” Ayres agreed.
Ayres ran his hand over Rorax’s hair again and a dark shadow passed over his features.
“What’s wrong?” Tressa asked.
“I . . . care about her,” Ayres admitted, like Tressa was trying to drag the words out of him.
Tressa smiled at her old friend. “I know.”
“I know I said we would kill her at the end of this . . .if she made it to the top three . . .”
A part of Tressa still wanted to; a part of her wanted to stop healing the violent gashes and tear out Rorax’s throat instead. But after what Rorax had said tonight, Tressa hesitated. If Rorax could find a way to stop future Choosings, or make them less violent, Tressa would support her. “Is she going to try and become the next Guardian then? I would support you if you made that decision.”
Ayres frowned. “No, I don’t think so. She hasn’t changed her mind about it.”
Tressa’s eyebrows pulled together. “Why not? She unlocked her magick today. She would be a boon in the war.”
Ayres blinked at her, like this possibility had never occurred to him before. “She thinks Enna would be a better Guardian than her.”
Tressa hummed. She’d thought that before. Now she didn’t know what she thought.
Ayres sighed, shoving his hand over his hair. “She won’t even look at me right now.”
“She will forgive you.” Tressa smiled and nudged him with her elbow. “If you decide you want to choose her, House of Life will wholeheartedly support your decision, Ayres. She would be good for the Realms. She’s strong enough to handle it.”
“Thank you,” Ayres said, stroking Rorax’s hair again. “She has to survive all this first though.”
“She will, Ayres.”