Chapter 15
Chapter Fifteen
Caleb crouches, removing my shoes.
Our home remains unchanged, but I feel like an entirely different person as I look around, taking in the many comforts with which I’ve grown familiar these past few months. Caleb’s home is so comfortable. I can’t believe I once thought HPAW was better.
“Are you hungry?” Caleb asks.
“No.” I should eat, but I can’t stomach the thought of it. Doctor Greg forced me to eat light snacks, and they left me nauseous. “I just want to sleep.”
In a real bed.
I keep that thought to myself. I haven’t told Caleb the details of my time with HPAW, and I don’t really care to. I don’t want to think about it, let alone speak about it.
Caleb follows me upstairs. The bedroom is a mess, the bed unmade and his clothing scattered across the floor. Some of it looks worn, and there’s a clear path from the bedroom door to the bathroom.
“What happened in here?” I ask.
I crawl onto the bed and collapse face-first onto the sheets. They smell like Caleb, and I draw in a deep inhale as he walks into the ensuite bathroom.
“I was working nonstop while you were gone,” he says, disappearing. He returns a second later with a wet washcloth. “I’ve been stopping at home only to shower and change. Stripping along the way saved time.”
My eyes slip shut. “Did it actually save you time?”
“I like to think it did.”
I force myself into a sitting position. Caleb’s kneeling on the edge of the bed.
His eye looks like shit. The skin remains swollen, and he flinches as I smooth my thumb over the tender skin. I thought he was dead.
I scan the sutures lining his forehead. It was a rubber bullet, but a bullet nonetheless.
“I hardly remember killing Daniel,” I admit.
I stabbed him in the dick, then his femoral artery. He would’ve bled out within minutes, but I didn’t see it happen. I ran to Caleb the moment Daniel fell. Caleb was my only concern.
“I heard about that.” Caleb looks up, his face pinched. “Are you okay? I understand if you’re upset. Please don’t feel like you need to keep it from me.”
I pause, debating, before shaking my head. “I’m not upset.”
It’s the truth, even if I know it’s fucked-up to say.
Daniel was the closest thing I ever had to a father—at least that I remember—but he wasn’t a good man.
My body is littered with scars from injuries he gave me in the name of ‘training.’ He might have loved me in his own weird way, as evidenced by his choice to temporarily partner with the shifters, but I don’t return his affection.
But maybe I did. A little. I don’t know. I don’t want to think about it.
“I think I’m happy that he’s dead,” I admit after a moment of silence. “Do you think that makes me a bad person?”
“No.” Caleb’s immediate, direct answer makes me feel better. He continues. “He abused you, Ev, even if it was under the disguise of helping.”
Did he? I shut my eyes, not wanting to think too deeply about this. Caleb is alive. I’m safe. I shouldn’t let thoughts of Daniel consume me. It’ll ruin our night.
“I love you,” I whisper, changing the subject.
Caleb leans across the bed, bringing his mouth to my shoulder. His breath warms my skin, but I nudge him aside before his lips make contact.
“Lie down,” I order.
I ignore Caleb’s annoyed huffing as I dig out my eye dropper. He sprawls on his back, his arms splayed to the sides, as I carefully put in three drops. Despite Caleb’s clear annoyance at the medicine, he looks relieved as he blinks, letting the drops disperse across his eye.
“How long until those suppressants wear off?” I ask.
Caleb shrugs. “A few hours, maybe.”
I flick a stray hair off his forehead, letting my fingertips graze his skin. I miss the feeling of our bond. It was a comfort I took advantage of, and I’d give anything to have it back.
“I miss feeling our bond.”
Is this how Caleb felt when I fully blackened my marking? He admitted that he no longer felt the pull. It doesn’t change my feelings for Caleb, but the pull is a physical reminder that we’re meant to be together. It’s special.
“I was afraid I permanently destroyed our bond when I cut my marking off.” My voice cracks. “HPAW knew about it changing, and I couldn’t risk it lightning in that facility. I was trying to trick them into thinking that I was still on their side.”
Caleb pulls me onto his lap, wrapping his arms around my waist and holding me close.
“You’re my mate, Ev,” he says. “Nothing will change that. I want you with or without our bond.” He peppers kisses along my shoulder. “I love you.”
I touch the faint scar on his throat. “Even though I tried to kill you?”
“Yes.”
Caleb flicks my fingers off his skin, his kisses traveling up my shoulder. He’s heading toward my neck. I instinctively tilt my head to the side, giving him access to my throat. He takes the invitation, his breath ghosting over my sensitive skin before his lips make contact.
I swallow. “What if I did it again?”
Caleb hums, distracted. “Did what?”
“Tried to kill you.”
Caleb’s chuckle is dark. “Have some plans I don’t know about?”
“Maybe.”
I’m not sure why I’m pushing this. I don’t intend to kill Caleb. It’s the absolute last thing I want to do, but I can’t stop myself from asking. Maybe a part of me believes that Caleb has forgiven me too easily, that this is too good to be true.
If the roles were reversed and he had tried to kill me, I’m not sure I would ever trust him again. I’m worried he’s holding on to some resentment. He has to be.
Caleb slides his hands up my waist. I shiver.
His lips curl. “I missed seeing how much I affect you.”
He’s careful of my bandages as he removes my shirt and tosses it aside, leaving me in my soft, cotton bra. His shirt is the next to go, his abs flexing as he rips it up over his head. God. He’s so fucking attractive. It’s hard not to touch, not to drag my hands over his warm, muscular torso.
“I don’t understand how you can forgive me for what I did…” I admit.
Caleb frowns. “I’m not sure what you want me to say.” His shoulders rise and fall in a quick, jerky shrug. “You’re…HPAW made you believe you were a weapon, a tool to be used and discarded.”
Caleb cups my face. When he blinks, his swollen eye lags.
“You are so much more than HPAW led you to believe,” he continues. “You’re an incredible woman. Intelligent. Resourceful. Witty. Kind. Interesting. I love you because of who you are, not because of what you can do for me.”
I clench my jaw and look away, not wanting Caleb to see the emotion in my eyes.
“That doesn’t answer my question,” I say.
Caleb tuts. “I believe it does. I see you. I know who you are, and that’s how I’m certain you aren’t going to hurt me.” He releases a quiet sigh. “You don’t see yourself yet, but that’s okay. You will.”
I don’t know what to make of his confession. It’s more than I’m ready to deal with, so—in true Evelyn fashion—I decide to ignore it.
I drag my hands down Caleb’s chest, indulging myself. His muscles flex beneath my fingertips, my mate always so responsive to my touch.
He chuckles. “Are you trying to seduce me?”
“Yes.”
“It’s not going to happen. Not tonight.”
He says that, but I can feel him growing hard beneath me.
“I’m not going to have sex with you,” he repeats, mostly to himself. “Not until you’re feeling better.”
“I’m feeling great.”
Caleb snorts, his face lighting up. I’m sure he anticipated this would be my response. At least, he should’ve. Still, despite his declaration, he lifts his hips to help me pull the front of his sweatpants down.
His breath hitches as I expose the head of his cock. Precum already seeps from the tip.
“Do you miss being inside me?” I ask.
Caleb grunts. I take that as a yes as I slide my finger up the underside of his cock.
“Do you miss feeling me stretch around—”
My question is cut short as Caleb flips us over. My pants are being pulled down my legs before my back hits the mattress, and I happily kick them off my ankles as Caleb removes the remainder of his clothing.
His cock smacks my inner thigh as he tosses his underwear aside. I forgot how thick he is, and I openly admire him as he slots himself between my legs.
“What have we here?” he asks, peering down.
He drags two fingers down my slit, then spreads me open. I flush, my cheeks warming as he takes his fill. I suppose I can’t complain, considering I was just doing the same to him.
“You’re already wet…” Caleb mutters. He shoots me a sly look. “You really should make me work harder for it, Evelyn.”
“Oh, shut up!”
Caleb laughs. “I’m appreciative. Your body knows it belongs to me, mate bond or not.”
He runs a finger through my wetness, his smirk growing. Fuck. I drop my head against the mattress, my hips twitching as he lazily trails his finger up and down. He’s such a damned tease.
He eases in a finger.
“Look at me.” Caleb grabs my chin, forcing me to look him in the eye as he fucks me with his finger. He sinks his teeth into his bottom lip as he works another inside, curling both. When his thumb finds my clit, I groan.
It feels so good, especially when he tugs down my bra and sucks a nipple into his mouth. There’s a sharp sting as he bites, and he smooths his tongue over it. It’s not enough.
“I want you,” I say, raising my hips. I need him to fuck me.
Caleb pulls off my nipple with a wet pop, then removes his fingers.
He places himself between my thighs, dragging the thick head of his cock up and down my slit. He catches against my entrance but doesn’t push in. I run my hands through my hair, seconds away from begging, when he finally lines himself up.
I grab his bicep as he sinks his first inch inside me. It’s so good, and I moan as he pushes in the rest of the way. He’s careful not to hurt me as he rolls his hips back, then shoves back inside.
I love the drag whenever he pulls out, but it’s nowhere near as good as the fullness when he pushes back in.
“Holy fuck.” Caleb pants. He drops to his elbows, bringing us closer together. “You were made for my cock.”
I wrap my legs around his waist, my nerves on fire. I missed this so much.
Caleb works a hand between us, his palm resting on my belly so he can strum his fingers over my clit with every thrust. I shiver, an orgasm already coiling in my lower abdomen.
“Are you going to cum for me?” Caleb asks. “Already?”
I nod, breathless. “Yes. God, yes. I’m so close.”
My mouth falls open, a silent cry tumbling from my lips when it becomes too much. Caleb fucks me through my orgasm, leaving me shattered and limp and so fucking sated. He continues his pace, easing in and out in slow, steady movements that have me losing my mind.
I dig my heels into his lower back, pulling him close.
“Your turn,” I beg. “I want your cum inside me.”
I need it. I need to feel close to him. I need to feel like I belong to him again.
Caleb throws his head back, the muscles in his neck flexing as he moans. I clench around him, knowing that drives him wild, and I take great pleasure in the glare he shoots in my direction.
“Not yet,” he grunts. “I want to enjoy you a little longer.”
I smirk. “Now.”
I clench again, rolling my hips against his.
“Inside?” he asks, confirming. “You aren’t… We shouldn’t… Fuck.”
Caleb is helpless to stop his orgasm. He shoves himself in deep, his cock twitching as he cums. This feels so right. He drops his forehead to mine with a shiver, and I slide my hand down his back.
This feels right, but we need to be careful. I’m not in my fertile window, I’m sure Caleb can smell that, but that doesn’t mean we should throw caution to the wind.
“I should go on birth control,” I admit. “I want children with you, but not right now. I need time. I just don’t feel that—”
Caleb turns, planting a wet kiss on my cheek. “You don’t need to explain yourself to me. I’m on the same page. I’ll set up an appointment with Greg tomorrow.”
I settle back onto the mattress, not quite sure why his response has my heart pounding. My emotions are all over the place today. I need rest.