BELLS ONE
BELLS
ONE
Evelyn is probably just saying that to make me feel better. Although I’m not sure why she’d bother. She doesn’t like me, and I don’t blame her.
I worked for HPAW. I was monitoring her injuries, and I was reporting her condition directly to leadership.
How they realized that Adam is my mate is beyond me. I only met him once, and it was brief. He showed no awareness of me, and I did my best not to react when I realized who he was.
If anything, I was angry.
I never wanted a mate. I definitely didn’t want to meet him.
I surely never expected him to be…Adam. He’s…I don’t know. I haven’t spent much time around him. I was brought to his apartment when we arrived here, but he agreed to let me move into the human apartments after I tried to climb out of his window.
I almost fell and broke my neck in the process.
He doesn’t come around anymore. He was visiting me daily for a while, but I haven’t seen him in almost a week. I never acknowledged his presence in the common room, but I sure felt it.
I thought I’d feel relieved when he gave up.
I head toward Sera’s apartment. She never leaves, not that I blame her. She’s been through so much.
I hear wailing as I approach her door, and I don’t hesitate to invite myself inside. Our apartments are all identical. You enter into a small entryway that opens to a kitchen and living room. Off to the side is a bathroom and a narrow hallway that leads to a bedroom.
Sera is one of the lucky few who was placed in a two-bedroom. She’s turned the second bedroom into the nursery for her daughter.
“Need help?” I ask as I step inside her apartment.
Sera stands in the kitchen, her hair tied up in a loose bun and her robe askew as she hopelessly rocks her daughter. Emma is the youngest of the infants, and she’s colicky. Poor Sera looks exhausted.
She shoots me a grateful look. “Please.”
I like babies, I guess. I have nothing against them. They’re babies, but I’m not sure that I’ll ever want any of my own. How does Adam feel about that? He’s a schoolteacher, so he must love children. I bet he wants a dozen of them.
I tuck my hair behind my ear, already knowing that Emma is going to grab at it. She’s drawn to the blue dye, and she loves to pull.
“Come here,” I coo, gently taking the baby from Sera’s outstretched arms. Emma screams in my ear, which I politely ignore as I shoo Sera away. “Take a break. Sit. Sleep. Whatever you want. I’ve got this.”
Sera nods but doesn’t immediately move. She fiddles with the sleeves of her robe, accidentally exposing her scarred wrists. HPAW wasn’t gentle with her treatment, and they didn’t care about leaving her skin intact. She’s covered in scars from failed IVs.
Her stomach is the worst. It’s covered in tiny, puckered wounds from the tests they ran while she was pregnant with Emma.
“I need to shower…” she mumbles. “The water…I can’t hear over the water.”
Ah. I see.
“Would you like me to wait in the bathroom?” I offer. “So you can keep an eye on Emma?”
Sera nods, and I bounce Emma on my hip as I follow her into the bathroom. I turn away to give her privacy, staring at the sink as she undresses and gets in the shower.
She’s the first to speak. “Have you spoken to Adam recently?”
“Why?” I swallow. “What have you heard?”
I’m pretty sure I hear her snort over the sound of the running water. “Nothing. You’re the only person here I speak to.”
Emma coughs, crying so hard she’s beginning to choke. We’ve taken her to the hospital several times already, but the doctors keep insisting she’s fine. They said that some babies just cry a lot and that she should grow out of it. I hope they’re right.
I rub the back of Emma’s head and shift her position, hoping to find something she likes. Yesterday, she stopped crying only when I held her sideways and rocked her vigorously from side to side.
“Well?” Sera asks. “You and Adam?”
“There is no me and Adam.”
“There could be.”
I bite my lip. Maybe, but it’s doubtful. I’ve done my best to drive Adam away, and it seems I’ve succeeded.
“What about your mate?” I ask.
Sera ignores my question. She found her match, but she doesn’t want to meet him. She says she wants to focus on Emma. I think she’s just afraid her mate won't accept that she has a child.
“Evelyn said that I should speak to him,” I admit.
The shower shuts off, and Emma finally stops crying. I’m leaning backward at a ninety-degree angle, practically breaking my back, and rocking back and forth. Emma rests her face in the crook of my neck, her eyelids fluttering shut.
“Thank God,” Sera whispers. “You’re a baby whisperer.”
I wouldn’t say that. I’m just patient. Babies don’t know how to do anything except cry, and Emma has had a rough start to life. I can’t fault her for protesting it.
Sera steps out of the shower and wraps herself in a towel. Her hair drops down her back as she moves quietly around the bathroom, as if she’s afraid even the smallest sound will start Emma up again.
“Careful,” she whispers, eyeing the precarious angle of my body.
“I’m fine,” I whisper back, though my spine will probably never forgive me.
Emma lets out the softest sigh against my neck, her tiny fingers curling into the collar of my shirt. It’s the quietest I’ve ever heard her.
Sera leans against the counter, watching us with tired eyes.
“You’re good with her,” she says.
“Don’t tell Adam.” I say the words before I can stop myself.
Sera’s mouth twitches. The silence stretches for a moment, broken only by the faint hum of the bathroom fan.
“Why wouldn’t you want Adam to know that you’re good with Emma?” she asks.
“I think he’d get the wrong idea.”
“And what idea is that?”
“That I’m settling in.” I shift Emma slightly as she squirms in her sleep. “That I’m planning on staying here, or that I’m warming up to the whole mate situation.”
Sera tilts her head. “Aren’t you?”
“No.”
The answer comes too quickly.
Sera notices, naturally. “You know,” she starts, “most of the humans here have been pleased with their mate.”
“Most of them haven’t spent the last year working for the organization that tortured several of the women here. You included.”
Sera’s expression softens. “You didn’t know.”
“That doesn’t matter.” Emma’s breathing deepens against my neck, soft and steady. My throat tightens. “I still did it.”
Sera clears her throat. “Adam came by yesterday.”
My head snaps up. “What?”
“He asked if you were doing okay.”
My stomach flips in a way I absolutely refuse to analyze.
“What did you tell him?” I ask.
“The truth.”
“And what is that?”
“That you’ve been helping with Emma.” She pauses. “And that you look lonely.”
I stare down at Emma’s sleeping face, focusing on the tiny crease between her brows. I don’t really want children of my own, but I love the idea of being a fun aunt. That’s right up my alley.
“I’m not lonely,” I say.
Sera studies me for a long moment, then sighs and pushes herself off the counter.
She disappears into the bedroom to get dressed, leaving me alone in the bathroom with Emma and my thoughts. It’s unfortunate because I can’t stop myself from thinking about Adam.
He asked Sera about me. He hasn’t given up.
I stare at my reflection in the mirror. My hair is a mess from Emma’s grabbing hands, the blue strands sticking up in strange directions. My shirt is wrinkled, and there’s probably spit-up on my shoulder.
I look comfortable, which is horrifying.
I scowl at myself. I made it very clear that I wanted nothing to do with Adam. I ignored him every time he visited. I refused to speak to him. I tried to escape through a window.
Most men would have given up by now, but he came by yesterday.
I shift Emma slightly, wincing when my back pops.
If I’m honest with myself, the common room has felt different since Adam stopped showing up. It’s quieter, and I don’t enjoy sitting in there nearly as much.
Emma lets out a sleepy sigh, her warm breath brushing my neck. It smells milky.
“You’re lucky,” I whisper to her.
She doesn’t know about mates, and she won’t for a long time.
My gaze drifts back to the mirror. If Adam had truly given up on me, he wouldn’t have come yesterday. He wouldn’t have asked Sera how I was doing.
Sera reappears in the doorway, dressed in clean clothes and looking slightly more human. I’m relieved to see it.
She peeks at Emma. “You know…” she starts. This is going to be about Adam. I groan, then gesture for her to continue. “Adam doesn’t live too far from here. A five-minute walk.”
I don’t respond. I’m not sure what to say.
Sera shrugs. “I’m just saying.”
I blow out a breath. Maybe it’s not the worst idea.
“Hypothetically,” I start, “if someone were to visit him…” Sera’s eyes light up. I continue. “It wouldn’t mean anything.”
“Of course not.”
“It would be a simple conversation.”
“Obviously.”
I shoot Sera a look, my glare deepening as she presses her lips together, hiding a smile. This isn’t a laughing matter. This is Adam.
I straighten slowly and gently transfer Emma into Sera’s arms. The baby squirms again but thankfully doesn’t wake.
“I’m not promising anything,” I warn her.
She smirks. “Good luck.”
Yeah. I’m going to need it. I smooth my hands down my hair and take off before I can talk myself out of it.
This is just a conversation. Nothing more.