Chapter Fifteen - Ethan Hernandez
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Ethan Hernandez
LYING IN BED had become tedious for Ethan, the room was shrouded in semi-darkness. The faint smell of musk clung in the air — a stale reminder of his sweat-stained sheets. The throbbing migraine had wrung him dry, he felt bedridden and restless. Ethan ached for motion, every part of him wished to rip off and launder the bedding, scrub every surface of the apartment, and feel the meditative hum of cleanliness. It was among the few things that brought him solace over the years — small rituals amid chaos. While in foster care, Ethan was subjected to a litany of chores forced on him by his older foster siblings. Yet, the cleaning brought him a sense of peace, something restorative about the smell of cleanser, gleaming table tops, and freshly mopped floors helped him feel a semblance of control.
Yet, now a sliver of sunlight crept into the room revealing his room in disarray. Clothes, books, and sneakers kicked off littering his floor. His outside matched the inside — jumbled and untethered. His phone buzzed somewhere nearby, the persistent hum a reminder of life beyond the walls of his bedroom. Likely a classmate asking about the group project due next week.
Ethan ignored it.
His head was a swirling storm of noises and images— whispers, dreams, emotions he could not call his own. All punctuated by sharp, invasive spikes driving deeper into his skull. Being startled by Jason reignited the migraine and the sedatives from the campus health center did nothing to quell the pain. After the failed breakfast, he took another pill and clawed his way back into bed, willing sleep to take him. Earlier he heard Jason whisper through the door on his way out, he was headed to the gym and would be back much later.
Jason.
Ethan ached inside at the thought of Jason’s quiet patience, his concern. The image of worry etched on Jason’s face. The burden that Ethan felt threatened to overwhelm him and Jason. He wanted nothing more than to express to Jason the mental static in his head — the constant shifting of channels like someone frantically flipping through radio stations. But the words wouldn’t form in Ethan’s’ mouth. How could he articulate something he barely understood himself?
Instead, Ethan did what he knew best, he retreated inward, rolling the confusing sensations over in his own head to make sense of them.
Closing his eyes, he tried to sift through the chaos, but the voices blurred together, and nonsensical phrases swam around in his head.
Am I losing it? Is this what crazy feels like?
Eventually, sleep pulled him under.
The dream came again.
A girl stood atop a tall tower, her figure was hazy against a backdrop of swirling mist. A bell gonged loudly. Her wavy brown hair hung limply over her hollow eyes, and her cracked lips moved frantically but the sound was muffled by the bell. Ethan strained to make sense of her words, willing himself closer to the girl, but the distance stretched further and further in front of him.
Her movements were violent and frantic. She gestured wildly as if to warn him of something. There was an urgency in her presence, but the message dissolved before he could discern her meaning.
“Don’t…trust…”
The words floated to him. Faint. Fractured. His breath quickened, “Who? What are you trying to say?”
The girl's eyes darted behind her, fear reached her wide eyes.
“He will take you,” she croaked, “He will take you and use you up. Like he took me.”
Ethan stepped closer, desperate, “Who will? Who’s trying to take me?” The girl flinched as he reached for her. His hand passed through her incorporeal form.
“None of us are safe,” she rasped, her voice trembled as tears formed in her wide eyes. “He will take us…use us up.”
Ethan’s stomach dropped, and her lips formed one last word, “Jason...”
And then, like a wisp of smoke, she vanished.
Ethan jolted awake, his heart beating. The sound of the girl’s voice echoed in his head, but the words did not linger. He sat up, the bed damp with sweat, and his head spun. Ethan could not stay here, not like this.
Grabbing a towel from the wardrobe, he stumbled to the bathroom. He moved sluggishly, his head swam. Stepping into the warm water, it pelted his wiry frame. He let the water rinse away the sweat, the heat soothed his aching muscles.
The steam billowed around as he closed his eyes, letting the water cascade down his back. He breathed in the scent of the shampoo, it further calmed him. His mind drifted, and for a moment, he felt the tension leave his shoulders. Breathing in the steam, he felt his eyes soften under his lids.
With his body relaxed, his mind soon followed. But then, there she was again.
The girl emerged in the dark void of his mind, her ragged features illuminated by an unseen light. Her blonde hair was matted, her T-shirt smeared with dirt, and her lips moved with the same message.
“Don’t…trust…him.”
Ethan inhaled sharply, trying to focus. “Who are you talking about? What are you saying?”
She looked at him as if surveying him. He stared back, this girl was different, but how? Was this the same girl from the dream? The nightmare? Who was she? What was she warning him of?
Her face filled with sorrow. “He’s dangerous. He’ll take you like he took me.”
Taking a deep breath, Ethan allowed his senses to tune in to her. He felt something open in his mind, he stepped towards the girl. “Who is in danger?”
“You all are in danger. Danger. Jason is...”
But before she could finish, she dissolved again, leaving him alone in the void of his mind.
The water turned cold, snapping Ethan back to the present. His eyes flickered open, he shut off the stream and stepped out of the shower. His mind was a whirlwind. Drying off, he reached towards the mirror, staring at his reflection — pale and hollow-eyed.
His lips parted, and the words came unsought.
“Jason is...danger.”
His voice was barely above a whisper, but the words sent a chill through his body.
Was the girl saying Jason was dangerous? Ethan had known Jason for a year. As far as Ethan was concerned, Jason was the other half of himself. Two pieces of the same lost soul, but as Ethan thought about it, he knew very little about his partner. Jason had not introduced Ethan to his family, nor did he know much about his life before university. Was there something about Jason the girl wanted Ethan to know? If so, why was Jason dangerous?
Did this mean that Ethan was in danger?