Chapter Twenty-Nine - Ethan Hernandez
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Ethan Hernandez
ETHAN’S BODY WAS sprawled in the familiar position. He slept restlessly, the new medication induced slumber was anything but restful, and his brain felt wide awake. The wind howled outside his bedroom window, he swore he could feel a draft blow over him. Ethan was atop the bell tower, he could see the lights of campus twinkling against the midnight blue sky, and heavy snow clouds threatened to blanket everything.
Beyond the campus, the lights of Denver glimmered. His eyes flickered at the scene before him when he realized he wasn’t alone. The girl stood beside him, her hollow eyes peering out into the horizon. The girl and he were separate but the same, her thoughts and feelings threaten to over take him. Yet, he could sense her yearning to be free.
“Who are you?” Ethan asked, his voice trembling.
Her lips moved, but her words were disjointed, again he could not make out what she was saying — only feel what she felt. Fear, anger, and worry, all overwhelmed him. The girl’s head bobbed back and forth as she looked out from the ledge. “Be wary of doctors…not all heal…there is danger…”
Ethan tried to step forward, but his legs stood frozen, “What are you saying? Who is in danger? You? Me?”
The girl didn’t answer. Instead, she turned to the edge of the tower and gazed down into the darkness below. Her ragged hair blew as an icy draft whipped around them. She stepped forward and gave an unreadable expression over her shoulder.
“Wait! Don’t!” Ethan pled. He reached for her.
But it was too late, she stepped forward, her form dropping into the shadows below.
Ethan’s scream ripped him out of his sleep. He jolted upright, his breath came in jagged gasps, his heart pounding like a drum. Distant sirens wailed outside. A crown of sweat had formed on Ethan’s forehead.
“Jason!” Ethan’s voice broke as he called out.
Bursting into the room, Jason leaped on the bed, grabbing Ethan.
“She’s dead, she jumped,” Ethan choked, tears streaming down his face. “She jumped. She jumped from the tower.”
Jason embraced him tightly, his arms enveloping Ethan’s small form. “Who? Who are you talking about?”
Ethan shook his head, his body trembling, “I don’t know. I don’t know who she is, but she was in my dream. She was trying to tell me something. The voices, the images…it’s all connected.”
Jason stroked Ethan’s hair gently, his own heart aching. “Tell me everything. I’m here.”
Between gasps and sobs, Ethan recounted the dream. The strange muffled voices, the flashing images, the warnings. “She said you were “danger,” Ethan finished, trying to catch his breath.
“Me? I’m dangerous?” Jason said, pulling back.
Ethan wiped his eyes, “I don’t know. None of it makes sense.”
“Ethan, listen to me. I think we need to do something. Something different,” Jason said, grabbing Ethan once more, and pulling him tight.”
Ethan let Jason’s large frame anchor him. While all the thoughts and images threatened to consume Ethan, he took comfort in Jason’s inner quiet.
“Did you hear me?” Jason asked, kissing the top of his head.
Ethan nodded, too exhausted to protest, “I did. What did you have in mind?”
“We need to see Bellamy,” Jason said, holding his breath.
Ethan sat up, looking Jason in the eyes, his head tilted inquisitively.
“Please don’t be mad, I’ve been telling him about your condition. There was no one else to talk to and he just sort of got it. Besides I did some digging, he worked with the government on psychic phenomena before. He knows about the brain. If anyone knows what’s happening to you, it might be him.”
Exhaling slowly, Ethan nodded, again,” So that’s who you’ve been texting? I thought you were talking to your secret boyfriend.”
Jason smiled warmly, “Technically, you are my secret boyfriend. My parents don’t know about you yet. They still think I’m seeing a sorority girl.”
Ethan chuckled, he missed his life before all of this. It all seemed so far away. The jealousy he felt when they attended frat parties and sorority girls would shamelessly flirt with Jason — it all felt so benign compared to this.
“Christmas break is coming, we need to tell your family,” Ethan said. “Unless you’re embarrassed of me.” He sniffed and pouted playfully.
Jason scratched his head, “I’m proud of you! I’m more embarrassed, I’ve not told them anything. They’re gonna love you, but seems like I should have had a conversation with them before introducing them to my boyfriend.”
Ethan nodded, “I understand. That should seem like a piece of cake compared to what we’ve been dealing with.”
“Speaking of which, what do you say? Can we give Bellamy a try? I did a deep dive on his research and he has published some interesting stuff on this topic. He’s gotta be able to tell us more than what Dr. Trent did,” Jason said, hopeful.
Ethan looked warmly at Jason, his heart swelling. Jason brought forth feelings of comfort and determination; he was more than his boyfriend. He made sense of the chaos, he anchored him in stormy oceans. Ethan wanted to move beyond these feeling of fear and anxiety, he wanted things to be normal. Ethan ached to visit Jason’s family for Christmas break, to see the town where Jason grew up— to meet old friends, old rivals. He wanted to climb into Jason’s life and learn the contours of what made him who he was. Ethan imagine Jason walking through his childhood neighborhood with his friends as they pushed their bikes home after a long summer afternoon.
So much of what Jason represented was what Ethan missed— they were two puzzle pieces that fit together. Ethan wanted to be part of Jason’s world — not just the present but the past too. What kind of dinners did his mother cook? Was his father talkative or quiet? Exactly how sarcastic was Jason’s little sister? Ethan imagined a comfortable, cozy home where the family sat around a dinner table laughing while playing tabletop games.
He wanted to return to their home after a long visit with Jason’s family, taking a lazy Sunday afternoon picking out furniture and decorating their apartment. Jason had become Ethan’s reason to fight back. He needed to fight back — not just for himself, but for them. Ethan couldn’t spend another moment in this bed, letting the dreams, the voices, the images pull him back. Whatever this thing was, Ethan needed to learn to conquer it, he refused to let it consume him.
Ethan straightened a little, his eyes meeting Jason’s warm gaze. He wanted to reclaim his life, he wanted to build something with Jason that was strong and loving. The first step was confronting this thing in his head.
“Okay, I’ll do it. I just want this to stop.”