Chapter 2
Molly
Three months later
Jolene shifts her toddler, Jane, on her hip, leaning closer to the wooden posts of the reindeer corral. I wonder if the kid’s birth parents thought about the use of Jane. After being named Jane Doe briefly, I could never name a child Jane. Probably not a touchy subject for most people.
I’d never guess Jolene had only been named guardian of a two-year-old a week ago–she’s taking to it so naturally.
Our other friends, Starla and Bellamie, say Jolene’s always like that, jumping in, embracing every new adventure.
Should I take notes from her? Instead of dwelling on who I was three months ago before the accident that stole my memories, embrace my fresh start. How many people get to start over without all of their emotional baggage? That’s definitely a rosier way of looking at my situation.
Jolene’s kid squeals as a reindeer steps closer.
"Thanks for coming, Molly. I had to get out with this little one, and Bellamie and Starla were busy. Have you ever been to a reindeer ranch? Did you even know they existed?"
Along with not having emotional baggage, I also don’t have answers to simple questions. I watch the beautiful reindeer snort and paw the ground. "There's a first time for everything. Life's just one big adventure, right?"
Jolene’s laugh is tainted by the reality of inheriting a kid. "Yeah, adventure. That's how I've always rolled. Until this little one." She holds the toddler up for a second.
A sharp scream erupts from the kid next to us when a reindeer nudges too close.
"I'm so glad Jane's not afraid of reindeer. Not sure I'm ready for a meltdown.” She grimaces and adds more joyfully, "One perk of having a kid is that I get to do all these fun things I would've skipped otherwise."
I suppress a chuckle, thinking that if I hang out with them more often, I can have all of these experiences too. Who knows, something might trigger my memory.
But Jolene’s life is about to change again when she does the Christmas Cherry Auction in a couple days. I realize my trip down the rabbit hole has gone long. "Yeah, a kid opens up activities that would seem weird solo."
"Want to hold her?" Jolene offers Jane to me.
Have I ever held a kid? "I'm not really sure how.”
Jolene covers Jane's ears and stage-whispers. "I didn't even want kids. Do you?"
Crap. I don’t even know if I have a kid already. All I’m sure of is that I didn’t have a C-section. "How can you really know for sure?"
I hesitantly accept the toddler and am relieved that it feels natural to hold her.
"If you'd gotten an invite to the auction, would you have gone the standard route of starting a family right away?" Jolene asks innocently.
I'd been hanging out with Jolene, Starla, and Bellamie when Jolene first brought up registering for the Christmas Cherry Auction. They’re longtime friends, and knew that they were all virgins, so she’d broached the subject carefully with me, ensuring I knew she wasn’t judging.
Embracing their excitement, I’d said, “Maybe I could get won by seven perfect men, one for every day of the week.”
The sign-up was only an expression of interest, no commitment needed until the invitations were issued. I’d figured I’d have my memory back by then and would know if I qualified. Since I didn’t get an invitation, it hasn’t been an issue.
But Molly wants to know how I would have handled it. "Hard to say since I didn't get one."
"Surely you thought about it. For me it was the happily-ever-after but not the babies. And of course, it’s super cool that the Christmas Cherry Auction gives us a way to use our virginity to raise money for charity."
One of the workers in the reindeer corral has a coughing fit and rushes to one of the water stations.
“Did I say that too loud?” Jolene glances at the people next to us… they definitely heard. “Maybe we should go inside, check out the children’s displays.”
We stop at the Make It Rein exhibit. Wooden reindeer pull a pint-sized Santa sleigh the kids can sit in. The wall contains an exhibit of different types of reins.
Jane climbs into the sleigh seat, her giggles bubbling as Molly hands her the reins.
Jolene asks, "Will you stay with her? I want to snap a picture."
"Absolutely. You sure you don't want me to take it so you can be with Jane?"
"Not ready to see myself in full mom mode yet."
Jolene steps backward while watching her phone screen and doesn't notice a random kid running toward her.
The worker who had the coughing fit rushes to intervene, stops the kid from tripping Jolene, but she stumbles anyway. I’m too far away to help and need to stay with Jane. Jolene slams into the wall displaying different reins, and some of them fall free, draping over her.
If she’d stop flailing, it might not be so bad, but she’s a hot mess.
The worker steadies her. "Stop moving. I'll untangle you."
She freezes and I can’t tell if she’s terrified, mortified, or what. I pick Jane up and call out to Jolene, "Are you okay?"
Jolene and her hero both answer yes and I’m inclined to think they’re having a moment while he untangles the leather from her wrists. I’m getting hot just watching.
"Thank God I wasn't holding Jane," Jolene says, half-laugh, half-groan.
Jane fusses. Oh no, what does she want? I try putting her back in the sleigh… that’s not it. Then the stench hits me.
I hate to intrude on this moment Jolene and the reindeer wrangler are having but she’s holding the diaper bag and I have no desire to change whatever is making that horrible smell.
I step closer to them and Jolene snaps out of her trance. "Ewww." She slips free and takes Jane. "Gotta handle this."
"Bathroom's that way." The worker points down the hall. His gaze follows her for long enough, I can confirm that I wasn’t wrong in thinking they were having a moment.
While he stares at her, I start rehanging the reins that fell. "She's new to this."
"To crashing displays?" He’s grumbly.
I laugh and take pride in knowing something about Jolene since there’s so much I don’t know. "To being a mom. Wouldn't even know this place had a kid exhibit if her brother hadn't tipped her off."
"Does he work here?"
"Kind of. He's a mechanic. Comes when needed."
"Jeremy?"
"Yeah." I’m pretty sure that’s his name. Their family has a lot of J names.
Jolene emerges minutes later with Jane fresh and happy. "That was the last diaper, we better go."
So much for them getting to know each other. She rushes past, maybe from embarrassment and I fall in step.
“If you want to get his name or number, I can hold Jane.”
“I don’t have time for dating. I’m barely pulling myself together for the auction.”
My heart sinks. I’m not cute and bubbly like her. My black hair and pale skin are… beautiful. I applaud myself for the catch. I’m trying to get rid of the voice in the back of my head that seems to think I’m not enough. If I didn’t hold back so much, I might meet guys too.
It’s time I stop literally looking in my mirror and asking. “Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who’s this woman who had a fall?”
I open my mouth to take the first step in trusting people, and tell Jolene about my amnesia, but she’s flustered, trying to find the keys in the diaper bag. Her own trauma’s a little too fresh for me to add mine.
I make a commitment to tell Jolene and our other friends about my amnesia in a few days, after the auction.